That moment, at that moment
by autumn-leaf16
Summary: Very long Haruka 3 multi-chapters fan fiction. Explores the story from the view of Kagetoki and Yasuhira. Involves OC pairing for both characters. Looks at the darker aspects of the game
1. prologue

_**Author's Note: **to be honest, I was going to put this on my blog, since I know that the Haruka game fandom for the English fans are quite small. However, due to the size limit on life journal, and the length of my story, I know that if I do it on my blog, it is going to be driving me crazy due to how I have to break my chapters apart. And hey, why not? It would make it so much easier to read._

_I am quite proud of my Haruka 3 fan fiction. I must admit, I am quite anti-Nozomi due to the way that she has been portrayed in the anime/OVA/drama CD, so there are some negative comments in regard to her._

_This fan fiction actually focuses on two couple: KagetokixOC (Tamako) and YasuhiraxOC (Rurihime)._

_I actually didn't really elaborate on the detail, because I figure that if you are a player of the Haruka 3 games and actually made it all the way here, you'll probably understand without the elaboration. The story is actually all finished, and I just need to upload it._

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything. The songs at the beginning of each chapters are the songs from the series._

* * *

**Prologue**

_"This heart of ice, how deep is it?_

_I lock away the days of my memory, so no one may touch it_

_The door of my heart will never be melted_

_That distant season with laughter_

_Shall sleep forever"_

_~ 黒き氷塊の楼閣_

The temple was rather plain and small with little reason to attract visitors. However, the temple was clearly well looked after and the people knew that to damage it would result in a very severe punishment. A riot once caused harm to it and if their ruler was not so rational, then the punishment would have been very harsh as he was clearly very angry.

However, the usually rather aloof temple received a few visitors today- including two who came all the way from Kyo.

But then, today was the death of the woman buried in the temple, the woman whom this temple had been built for. The ones who knew this date would come here, even though the number was quite small.

She was once the wife of the current ruler, but she had been his wife before he became the ruler. He then remarried and it was very easy for most people to forget about her. After all, four years was not that long, especially when she was often seen as being different.

But for the dismounting woman, the one buried here was extremely important to her.

"Kagetoki, thank you for coming with me." Tamako said to her husband again. "I know that you don't really want to come to Hiraizumi."

"I don't think I am completely forgiven." Kagetoki told her honestly. Since it was Tamako, he would tell her the truth.

"It no longer matters!" some one else was already there, and he was immediately greeted by a warm clasp by his best friend and his very good friend.

"Is our daughter, your daughter-in-law well?" Tamako asked with a friendly smile. "And is Saku-chan and Kokuryuu-dono well?"

"They are all very well. But Kagetoki, you can visit whenever you like. Now that everything is peaceful, no one will bother with old grudges." Kunihira said once again.

"If the people of Hiraizumi are all like you then it will be well." Tamako laughed out. "But it is not because of that alone. Travelling is quite costly, and Kyo is quite far."

"Which you should know quite well, Kunihira. You were the one who travelled the furthest! Kamakura and Izu were both much nearer. I remember how much you complained once!" Kagetoki laughed as well. "But these days…they were happy despite all the lessons."

"The days where the three of us were in Kyo all these years ago…they were good days." Kunihira said in agreement. For him, the memories were almost completely happy because that was mostly before he had been tormented by falling in love with the fiancée of his best friend.

"But I am really glad that these days are no longer just a memory." Kunihira said before he turned to Tamako once more. "Do I still have your forgiveness?"

"It has been two decades…that is good enough for me." Tamako assured him. "But Kunihira, I am surprised that your wife…that Iwako-dono is so understanding. She is a much better wife then I can ever be. Be grateful at your fortune."

"I am not as foolish as I once was, especially after what happened to my brother."

At this, the cheerful air of the three friends meeting again finally disappeared.

"…this temple is clearly well tended to." Kagetoki commented.

"The fact that he built this temple is an indication." Tamako admitted. "However…that child would have been so much happier had he just paid more attention to her."

"Tamako, my brother is very different from Kagetoki and I." Kunihira pointed out. "He is very different from Kurou as well. However, she had been happy in that brief time after the war, as he did realise that she was important to him."

"I know…and I know that she would be happy at seeing all this but I…" Tamako broke off slightly as her words become slightly muffled. "I feel that she deserved so much more!"

* * *

Due to Kunihira's insistence, the two visitors to Hiraizumi decided to stay for a few days. Some did make a comment or two, but the event of two decades ago were too distant to be of interest to most people.

"Kagetoki, it is good to see you again." Kurou immediately said. "Nozomi and Saku-dono would be right here with your daughter."

"Kagetoki-san, Tamako-san!" Yuzuru greeted them with an equal enthusiasm, which was a bit unusual from him. However, he regard the man as one of the kindest and nicest person while the latter had helped him with what he felt for his senpai along with her husband then.

In fact, Yuzuru thought that the three friend's story was a slight parallel to his relationship with his brother and senpai. Although the story differed as it was Kurou that his senpai was with. However, he could understand why being able to talk so freely like that was very relieving.

"Aniue, Tamako-dono, is everything well in Kyo?" Saku asked. Even though she and Kokuryuu has been reunited and has been together for two decades, many still complain that it was extremely embarrassing to be in the same room alone with them.

"Kyo is well, but what of Hiraizumi? I don't really know what is happening that much now, since Tamako and I are completely uninvolved in politics." Kagetoki said, although this was a slight exaggeration. Even though he had no involvement with politics, he was not ignorant at all.

"Yasuhira-dono is a very good ruler as Hiraizumi is doing very well. While it is true that it is not as independent as it was due to aniue." Unlike before, Kurou's voice was no longer upset at the reference of his brother. "It is still fairly independent, like Kumano."

"Which Hinoe is very proud to boast of, although I think he is the only one who cares for the competition between him and Yasuhira-dono." Benkei said with a smile. "I do not think that Yasuhira-dono even knows of such a thing."

"Are the Heike still living in that island?" Kagetoki continued. "Is Masaomi-kun still well?"

Everything was peaceful and this had been the result of much hard work. However, there were also many sacrifices and not everything was restored. Despite the current state, there were subtle reminders of the harm that had been done during that period.

Such as that temple.

The door was slid open again and the woman that entered was the second wife of the ruler. She was certainly very different from the little princess from Kyo who dreamt of love. Not only was she much older when she married Yasuhira, she had only seen the marriage as a necessary alliance. (1)

As a result, she and her husband were pleased with one another without being imitate.

"Welcome to our house again, Kagetoki-dono and Tamako-dono." She gave the welcome politely because even though it was not the first time the two was here, it had been a while since their last visit.

"I am sorry to inform you that my husband will not be joining us for dinner." She continued, and her eyes locked with Tamako's. "After all, he will be slightly occupied today."

The other immediately nodded in understanding. After all, it was these small gestures that betrayed his feelings.

"But is Yoshihira-dono well?" Tamako asked. "It is hard to believe that he was once a little boy that I used to hold in my arms."

"Yoshihira-dono has become a very fine young man although I fear that you would only get to see him tomorrow. I believe that my husband's business requires his eldest son."

"Even though- " Nozomi was just going to protest when Tamako interrupted her. "I perfectly understand and I rather him attending to that then being interrupted and greeting me."

There could only be one reason and to Tamako, the person who would cause these absences naturally deserved first priority.

* * *

Some distance away from the merriment of the main room was the study of the place's current ruler. The quietness of the room and his grim expression was a complete contrast to the other place.

He was very occupied today, but then, he was the ruler of a place. There were many that deemed his attention.

"Yasuhira-dono."

It was his wife…his second wife. Since his first wife died and he was the leader, the woman he married would naturally be able to have the place of the seishitsu. A more sentimental man might decide to make his next wife the sokushitsu to indicate what he felt for the first wife, but Yasuhira was not that type of person.

He would never be that type of person.

His second wife was a complete contrast to the first one. She was both practical and capable; and there were times when he would heed her advice as it happened to be the right one. He married this woman from the Genji as a gesture of peace and goodwill, since her father was loyal to Yoritomo in addition to being trusted by the true ruler of this country. In reality, this turned out to be very advantageous for Hiraizumi as she was definitely an asset.

However…he would still think of the little girl from Kyo who ended up being very different. It was true that she was not as helpful as his second wife, but he had enjoyed being beside her.

However, he did not realise that until she was dead.

"Yoshihira-dono shall be arriving soon." She paused slightly due to considering whether she should continue this subject, before she decided to do so. "Yasuhira-dono, are you not a bit too strict with him?"

"Strict? He will be the leader of Hiraizumi when I die, so of course I should be strict with him. Or do you want me to spoil my child the way that a fool does?" came the sharp reply.

"It is true that most men and women show their affections for a child by spoiling them, but you are different, Yasuhira-dono. You are the very opposite." She said evenly. "Yoshihira-dono's mother is Rurihime-dono, and so he is your favourite child. However, this is what it means to be your favourite child."

"Rurihime has nothing to do with this." Yasuhira said sharply. "The reason that I am strict with him is because he is my eldest son. Who his mother is does not matter at all."

"Is this so? Then will you be able to answer my question now, Yasuhira-dono? Did you love her- your first wife? The wife whom you built that temple for- the only temple that you have built. The wife whose grave you intend to visit now."

Like before, silence was the answer.

Perhaps this was a more revealing answer as opposed to a simple yes. (2)

"Chichiue, I am here." The speaker was Yoshihira, the son that they were talking about. "Hahaue, I did not expect to see you here."

Yoshihira had only been a bit more then one year old when his birth mother died. Therefore, it was only natural that he would regard his stepmother as being like a mother. However, he had been reminded by his father out of all people that he must not forget who his birth mother was.

"I am just leaving." She said this gently before she turned to Yasuhira once more. "Think about what I said carefully."

"Chichiue, were you and hahaue arguing?" The young man asked. "Is this a serious matter?"

His concern was very normal as he knew what his stepmother was like, even though he could barely remember his birth mother.

"…Yoshihira, am I too strict with you? That was what we were arguing about." His father said calmly.

"Of course not. Chichiue, I am the future leader of Hiraizumi."

Yes, that had to be the reason.

"But chichiue, why must we always visit haha's grave like this?" the young man began. "At such a time and in secret too." (3)

"It is not in secret, it is merely because I lacked time to go earlier." Was the steady reply.

"Chichiue…I am sure that you can create time. I almost think…" Yoshihira know that what he would say was extremely foolish, but he still said it as he felt that it was not without truth. "I almost think that you are ashamed of letting anyone know about this."

His father did not have a good temper, yet he rarely gets angry due to his personality. However, this meant that he would defend himself in a very cutting way.

"…do you really have a head, boy?" Yasuhira said after he quickly released his hand on the scroll that he had been reading- the paper was now slightly damaged. When he gets irritated, sarcasm and contempt would creep in his words. "Do you think that I will be regarded as capable if I go to her grave and create a scene by crying like a hysterical woman?"

"I am not saying that! I am just saying that you should not visit the temple in secret! Why can't anyone else know that you go there every year on the day of haha's death?"

"Then that would make her too dominating and threatens the position of your stepmother – "

"Chichiue!" Yoshihira was not a person who would interrupt his elders, especially his father, in such a fashion. Therefore, this actually made Yasuhira pause.

"Chichiue, I am not one of your subjects. I am your son. Therefore, I wish to know the truth. Stop giving me possible reasons."

"…Yoshihira, not letting someone know is not always due to shame." His father finally said after a very long silence. "We are going now."

* * *

There was a small pond by the temple and when summer came, it would be filled with white lotus in full bloom. Despite everything, that pond was very clear and the flower would always bloom.

Likewise, the temple was clearly dusted.

Yoshihira was sure that his father was observing everything very carefully and the servants he entrusted this responsibility to would face a severe lecture if he was to discover something unsatisfying.

Yoshihira had accompanied his father on trips to the temples that his grandfather and the ones before them built, and while his father did show the necessary concern, Yoshihira knew that it was only due to his duty.

However, with this temple, it was personal.

"Chichiue…"

"You are very nosy today." Yasuhira said dryly.

There was a time when this would really upset his son, but then Yoshihira was only a child. His stepmother actually had to spent quite sometimes to explain to the boy who was crying in secret, that this was not because his father was angry with him and did not like him, but because his father was just like this with anyone.

As he grew older, Yoshihira would slowly realise that sometimes his father was saying this in order to not answer, or perhaps to not even think about the said topic.

"Chichiue, do you wish to rest beside haha here?" Yoshihira admitted that he was being rather strange today, but then today was not an usual today, and this place was very unusual too.

"Do not be foolish." Yasuhria said harshly. "What does it matter when one is dead?"

"Then why did you build this temple for haha? Why are you so concerned with looking after this temple?"

Yoshihira could not deny that he felt a slightly satisfaction upon seeing his father being silent due to his argument.

"…what would that matter?" Yasuhira muttered as he left his son behind by walking into the inner part of the temple, where the grave of his first wife was.

"Where I would be buried would not matter because I would not be going to where you are." Yasuhira finally whispered this out as he stepped right in front of her grave- which was an hōkyōintō. "I am sure that you are in the sacred lands."

The place he felt that he would not be able to go to.

He was not the type of man who would try to think about what others thought unless it related to defensive issues. However, he could suddenly hear his first wife's voice and he knew that this would be what she would have said to him if she could hear this.

"Then I would wait for you at where you will be. I am sure that it will not be scary if you are there with me."

"…you really are a foolish person." He said and he wasn't sure why he suddenly wished to laugh. Whenever he was here, he often felt that very strange feeling that would appear on this very day. "This is a ridiculous emotion. I don't need it…I don't want it."

Yet he has it.

It was said that if you prayed in front of a hōkyōintō sincerely, then the sūtra on it would be able to cleanse your sin and let you go to the sacred lands when you die.

However, he knew that this would not be possible for him. It was true that he was glad that he did not have to sacrifice his father in order to protect Hiraizumi, but if he had to then he would have made that decision. What saved his father was chance, not his conscious.

Yet why did he kneel in front of her grave?

"…I just have one wish that I could wish for." He whispered. "At the very least…let me see you again, Rurihime."

* * *

**_Notes_**

_(1) __Obviously the word is hime because when you use princess it kind of becomes different. But I have to say, I like the idea of being able to call her a princess. I am not sure if Rurihime is a proper 'princess' although she is definitely a hime. But her father is the son of an emperor so…_

_(2)__ Also, as he did not deny it, it is a sign of him silently agreeing._

_(3)__ He calls his stepmother 'hahaue', so 'haha' is referring to Rurihime._


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_"The eyes of the dice of destiny rolls brilliantly_

_Surpassing the flow of time_

_Will it be a bloodstained future? A glorious finale?_

_War? Peace? A dazzling destiny_

_Which way is the outcome?"_

_~ (蝶紋の賽よ天空に転がれ)_

Yasuhira had little memories of Hiraizumi as his mother took him to Kyo when he was very young. He did not even really recall the events of the day which had lead to the departure. All that he could recall was suddenly being in his mother's embrace before she began to walk very fast. He could remember this because that was probably the only time that his mother embraced him.

She was not cold, but that did not mean she was a loving mother. Perhaps he might have ended up being quite different if he had stayed in Hiraizumi, but Yasuhira was not the type of person who would entertain such thoughts.

He realised that he was somewhere else when streets of houses replaced the wide plains.

"This is Kyo," his mother said simply. "This is my home."

He was sure that he asked questions about when they would get back, but children were surprisingly acceptant of such a thing. But then, what could a child of his age do?

"You will go back there one day." His mother assured him. Not only did she exclude herself, her tone upon the reference to Hiraizumi was quite cold.

"I want to go back." He said firmly.

He did not really remember Hiraizumi, but he knew that it was a very beautiful place. Even more importantly, it was the place he was meant to protect and rule.

The image of his family in Hiraizumi was getting blurry and he did not bother to recollect them since he knew that when he sees them again, they would be very different. However, there was one image that he could remember extremely clearly- and he doubts that he would be able to forget it even if he did desire to.

He was with his father- who took him to the plains and told him that all this would one day be his responsibility.

"You are my heir, Koujirou, so it will be you that look after this place. Tarou would help you, but you will be the leader." (1)

The scene before him was very beautiful and he always knew that he would be very sad if something happened to the place. However, this was the first time that he realised that he was the one who had the ability to do something.

"…I will protect it." The very young child promised grimly.

That resolution had not change at all. In fact, he would often do a task and think of whether this would benefit the place he intended to one day return to. This was not that unusual because children often knew their duties quite well, especially one who was in his position.

He was ten years old now and he would be returning to Hiraizumi when he turned twelve years old, as that would be when he has his coming of age ceremony.

"Yasuhira-sama, your mother wishes to speak to you." one of the maids said very formally, as this master in question always had been rather aloof. Therefore, the barrier naturally expanded.

For a brief moment, he almost wonders whether this was because his mother decided to let him have his coming of age ceremony at a younger age. However, he quickly scoffed at his foolishness. It was clear that his mother, for her own reason which he was not very sure of, wanted him to be here, not at Hiraizumi.

An impossible goal that she must be aware of herself. His father's actions was already most generous. Not only did he not divorce her, he did not even break the alliance. After all, his mother just took him and went to Kyo without saying anything.

In addition, his maternal grandfather was a fairly capable man, so he would not tolerate something so foolish.

"Hahaue, you sent for me?"

She had one of her much younger half sister- Eriko- with her. This was quite surprising because his mother was not on very close term with any of her sisters that were still at home due to their gap in age.

"Yasuhira-dono, I want to ask you about – " his aunt began eagerly, but was interrupted with a sharp glance by her elder sister.

"Yasuhira, do you remember…Fujiwara no Kunihira?" his mother asked in a rather flat voice.

The person in question was his half-brother who his mother simple refused to address as 'dono'. To his mother, Kunihira and his mother was much inferior due to both their birth and position.

"Very little, hahaue. I was very young when we left Hiraizumi. But hahaue, why are you suddenly asking about…aniue?"

'Since you dislike him and his mother' was what the boy added inside his head.

Kunihira's mother was their father's sokushitsu and unlike the proper seishitsu, Hidehira had loved her. Due to this, his mother felt that her pride had been severally injured and insulted even more. After all, she had already regarded her marriage as more then a bit degrading, and her husband being so devoted to his concubine was simply too much.

Later on, Yasuhira would describe his mother as foolish due to her pride.

"Your grandfather had very interesting news for us this morning." His mother finally said with a sharp snap of her fan. "It seems that you father has come up with some interesting ideas."

"Chichiue wants an alliance- another one!" all this going around the circle was finally too much for his aunt, who announced the news very girlishly.

"A possible alliance." His mother corrected. "Your father is considering marrying his other son to my sister here."

"That is why I want to know that Kunihira-dono is like." Eriko declared out.

"I remember very little of my brother." Yasuhira said simply.

"Why are you so impatient?" the elder sister reproached the younger sister sharply. "After all, you will soon know since we will have to house him."

"Hahaue, what do you mean by that? Is aniue actually going to come here?"

"…it seems so. Your father uses the excuse of this being a good chance for his other son to know more about his possible future wife, as well as Kyo." The last bit was said with a slight scowl because she had used that same excuse to argue why their son should remain with her.

"But aneue…would it not be nice to have a guest?" Eriko said sweetly, and she was probably already spinning some romantic dreams.

"That is because you do not know what the Oushi Fujiwarashi are like." Was the cold reply. "Despite their lands being completely lacking when you compare it with Kyo, they think that they are at the top of the world."

Yasuhira himself was not sure what he thought of this news. Unlike his mother, he did not dislike his brother in anyway, but that was all. He did not remember enough about his brother to actually like him.

However, he decided that a meeting would not be bad as he would like to hear news of the place he would one day be in charge of.

* * *

To say that those in Kyo were not skilled in the ways of weaponry would be misleading and dangerous, because this was not true at all. The main and dominating branch of the Heike family was the model example. Despite having a reputation of producing a very artistic new generation, each one of them was doing very well in their weaponry lessons.

However, it was true that the way of weaponry was regarded in a very different way in the capital as opposed to many other places. Weaponry was important and it was still necessary, but it was not dominant. Whereas a skilled bushi without any artistic skills might be praised there, he would most likely be criticised in Kyo. This alone was no longer enough.

One could be skilled at weaponry and that would probably earn praises, but one could not be good at it alone. Therefore, one would not devote all their time to it.

Unless one was a genius or unusually talented at the very least, the one who spent less time would end up losing.

As a result, Yasuhira's education ended up being quite different from his brother's due to his location and family. His maternal grandfather was more of a politician then a bushi so felt that only the basic skills was enough. Since he himself was not overly fond of art, he did not feel the need of Yasuhira knowing more then the basic, especially when his grandson was going back to Hiraizumi.

After some careful thoughts, he decided to let one of his most important grandsons learn the art of Onmyōdō from the Abe family.

The reason that he was so concerned about the grandson that would eventually be out of his range of influence was very simple: the power and position he would inherit was very great and he would make use of it. He intended to get as much profit as he could from this alliance.

"Chichiue, you are foolish to think that you will be able to manipulate them so easily." His daughter muttered.

The father and daughter were not on friendly terms although there was a careful kept neutrality between them. Even though he was really upset at how she chose to jeopardise the chance he had by her foolish action of leaving her husband, he knew that he had to be careful in his condemnation. After all, she was Yasuhira's mother and a mother almost always had quite some influence. Likewise, even though the daughter resented the father for her marriage, she knew she needed his support in her continuing having a comfortable life here.

"Regardless of everything that happened, we have an alliance with them as the marriage is still valid." He pointed out. "Even though there is no obligation, it is still there. While the result might not be what we completely desire, there would definitely be some type of result."

If he could get his other daughter married to the elder son of the ruler of Oushu then the alliance would be even more perfect and secure. He was sure that this would not be hard because this daughter was not as foolish enough to do something like leaving her husband in such a fashion.

In addition, he was sure that she would be very pleasant to their guest.

However, it was much easier for her to be a bit idealistic since her groom was not a man who was much elder then her, and who already had a sokushitsu and a son.

The boy who arrived had the advantage of having his father's charms and cheerfulness without having a large age gap between them. It was true that those in Kyo would regard him as less then educated, but he had a very important quality to make his potential bride pleased.

He was rather handsome and unlike his younger brother, he did not seem to have a dislike towards smiling.

Therefore, Eriko greeted him with great enthusiasm.

However, her charm was wasted on him. He found her pleasant, but that was all.

"I would like to talk to my brother." Was the young man's first request.

The girl was not able to accompany him, but she made the best of the situation by providing him with the information he desired.

"Yasuhira-dono is certainly very different from you." was really the conclusion of all that she was saying.

He desired to see the brother he barely remembered for the simple reason that the other was his brother, and that had been his main thoughts upon arriving in Kyo.

Little did he know that his life would change drastically due to the meeting of a stranger that would take place very soon. That meeting by chance will alter many things as well as creating a tight bond that would last onto his adult life.

* * *

There were many students that studied in the Abe family, since that was the most prestigious place in the world of the onmyōji and many actually travelled from other parts of the country to study there. There were students who came to the family to learn but go back to their own residence, while there were others stayed in the provided residence by the Abe family.

Yasuhira belonged to the first type and those were less likely to know their classmates well, since the lessons were very demanding. In addition, his personality made him even more detached from everyone else.

However, the student that helped his brother to find him was one of the few he actually had some knowledge of.

He was examining some scrolls when he suddenly heard his name being called out.

"You are…Kajiwara Kagetoki?" he said this with a slight incline of his head to acknowledge the other. After all, he was not in a position where he would be bothered about whether he needed to behave carefully least he ended up offending someone.

For the other students, only two groups could make them be weary.

One was the royal family; the other was the Heike family. (2)

"Ah, you remember me, Yasuhira-dono!" the other said cheerfully.

"…I often hear you." was the dry reply. "What do you want?"

"Well…how should I do this?" this thoughtfulness only lasted for a few moments because he said the following as if it was the most natural thing. "This is Fujiwara no Kunihira-dono! He told me that he would like to see you as he is your brother."

"…aniue?" Yasuhira was clearly startled at this, but he then said the following very evenly. "What are you doing here?"

At this, it was Kunihira's turn to be startled. "Well, I thought that I would visit you, since it had been many years since we last met."

"…it is not as if we were very close before." Yasuhira said truthfully. "So I do not understand you."

"Well, it is natural that an elder brother would wish to see his younger sibling." Kagetoki said lightly. "I will be like that with my younger sister although she probably would not really remember me either."

"This is my family's business." Yasuhira told the other bluntly before he turned to his brother. "Excuse me, aniue. I am busy now."

Then, as simple as that, he walked away, leaving the elder teens completely stunned.

"…I really hope that Saku will not be like that when she sees me." Kagetoki examined out before he realised what he just said. "I am sorry, I didn't mean anything bad by that!"

"It is alright, I understand." Kunihira said. "Kagetoki-dono, I apologise on behalf of my brother."

"No offence was taken, but Kunihira-dono, you and your brother are certainly different."

Later on, they would discover that this was a major understatement.

"But Kunihira-dono, you are from Hiraizumi?" the other continued in a very friendly manner. "I have heard quite a lot about it but I have never been there before. But then, I haven't really travelled until now. I think I would like to go there one day."

Little did he know that when he got his wish, he would not wish to go there at all.

"Your accent sounds a bit different from the people of Kyo." Kunihira noticed. "The words that you use are a bit different as well. Where are you from then?" (3)

"Kamakura. I have only been in Kyo for a few weeks."

As Kagetoki was showing Kunihira the way out, they talked a bit more. However, neither thought that this was not a first and only meeting due to chance.

* * *

Kunihira's meeting with his brother was certainly very different from what he thought. It was not that he imagined something dramatic, but he was a bit upset at how unconcerned his brother appeared to be. This was because he himself actually felt a sense of 'Ah, so this is my brother' when he finally saw the other once more.

However, perhaps he might have felt a bit better had he know that his brother did not just go straight back to study, but was actually thinking about their meeting.

From what Yasuhira recalled, many seemed to say that his half brother- elder then him by half a decade- was very different from him and was very much like their father. In fact, his mother had said this too, although she differed by making it sound like a degradation instead of a compliment.

Yasuhira could not remember what he himself had been like in Hiraizumi but he logically thought that he would be like what he was now. Concentrating on doing what he believed he should be doing, and because he did not particularly show concern for those around him, he would be regarded as cold.

Strangely enough, he felt that Kajiwara Kagetoki and his brother were quite similar, although there were both rather alien to him. Rather, he thought that his elder brother was probably someone like Kagetoki, as he did know the stranger he has seen a lot of times much better then the brother he has not seen for many years.

Kagetoki seemed someone who was almost always cheerful and without fully understanding why, there were many times when that grin really irritated Yasuhira. That unnatural expression was there even when he failed a task which would happen now and then.

Kagetoki was not the best student and Yasuhira felt that the other barely fitted the category of a good student. Yet the other was surprisingly popular with almost everyone. There were times when some of the best students in the class would aid Kagetoki.

The other was really the opposite of him and since Yasuhira regarded his brother as being like Kagetoki, this then meant that he and his brother were very different from each other, if not completely different.

He was only ten years old, but he already knew that he would be the future leader. However, as he saw how different he and his brother were, he began to wonder about what type of leaders the people would want. It was not a fear of feeling his position being threatened, but Kunhira's appearance merely made him think of questions that never entered his mind before.

After all, Yasuhira was still a young boy.

This possibility made him quite thoughtful- what if the people actually preferred his brother- who appeared to be the very opposite of him. Although he would not change who he was, nor give up the future that he already wanted, he still ended up thinking about this for quite some time.

Perhaps, he decided, he should observe his brother a bit more, and tries to understand this type of person.

* * *

_**Notes**_

_(1) __In the game, during Yasuhira's flashback when he dies, he actually recollect a scene where his father talk to him, and his father actually called him Koujirou (although in the game, Hidehira has call him Yasuhira as well). However, he has called Kunihira 'Tarou' in the game. I really don't know how they address each other, maybe Yasuhira was the name he got after his coming of age ceremony, but I don't know. Therefore, I actually let both of them use their 'proper' name. Although sometimes there are mentioning of the 'other' name._

_(2) __This is one of my first hints about the Heike going too far, that they are getting powerful to the stage that someone will end up doing something about it._

_(3)__ This seems to be the case due to watching drama and even from manga. There seem to be accents or even just a different usage of words that cause a difference. I know that when Atsuhime married, she had to change her accent and that is why many said that it is reasonable for her to be annoyed at her daughter-in-law, who did not need to sacrifice anything like that._


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"_Any type of memories of you_

_Will definitely become a light in my heart_

_Therefore, let us meet up tomorrow_

_To a place where you will remem__ber your smiles"_

_~ (__Six__・__Wings__)_

Kagetoki was actually quite relieved at the brief diversion caused by Kunihira, as that gave him a legitimate excuse to take a rest. He really felt that the workload was increasing so much that if it wasn't due to the sudden interference, he might have had to hide in the garden in order to get a slight rest.

However, seeing how cold the young brother was did make him more then a little bit worried. What if Saku would be like that? He never once thought about this possibility until now. Saku was six- surely a six years old child would not forget her elder brother so quickly!

As a result, his letter to his fiancée was rather incoherent, jumping from topic to topic due to all that had happened. His comment about his lessons suddenly changed to the fear of his sister forgetting all about him.

"I seem to write like how I talk, Tamako." He had said with a laugh. "I seem to say whatever enters in my head."

The thought of his fiancée made him sigh- he wanted to be able to talk to her instead of just writing to her. However, even though the prospect of sneaking out to find her was very tempting, he knew that he really needed to study right now.

It was not as if he did not want to be here. No, being here was his own choice. Other then the lessons being demanding, which was a rather important 'but', he enjoyed being here. He much rather learn about Onmyōdō instead of bushidō.

In addition, whenever he saw something new, he would feel that all the lessons and homework was well worth it.

Another bonus of his current situation was that Tamako was here. Unlike before, they could easily meet up with each other.

Although, it was not that easy- at this, he looked at the pile of scrolls and books with a slight distaste as they were a clear reminder.

He and Tamako had first met in Izu- in her home since the Hōjō family were more powerful then his family. Unlike the Kajiwara family, Tamako's father had a region as well as some sort of position.

However, that was it. They were only a bit better by having the alliance with the second daughter.

He thought about their first meeting again and this made him chuckle slightly. It really had been a very interesting first meeting. Tamako tended to blush whenever he reminded her of it, but she would laugh as well.

The two of them had first sat by their relatives and let their elders talk. He used this as an opportunity to observe the girl he would most likely have to marry, although he still found this idea of him marrying as very fantastical and hard to believe.

She was quite pretty and she was dressed in a very fine kimono, but that was all the observation he could make. He could not tell that her hands were actually clenched tightly together due to them being covered by the kimono's sleeves.

After what seemed like a very long time, he was finally left alone with her.

However, this then created a new problem for the two of them. Should they be saying something? At any rate, to just sit like this was rather awkward. At this, Kagetoki suddenly realised that he was not sure of what to say even though he usually did not have such a problem.

"Izu is a beautiful place." That usually worked, as most people were eager to talk about their home.

"…I am glad that you think so." However, that was it. There was no additional praise of her home.

"But Kamakura is a beautiful place too!" Just like the logic of mentioning the other's native home, mentioning your home could work too because the other would seize the opportunity of making you talk.

"I…I am sure that it is so." The other said softly.

At this, Kagetoki finally noticed that she had kept her head bowed throughout the conversation. However, he realised that it did not seem to be modesty as whatever caught her gaze had her attention.

"Tamako-dono, is something wrong?" he asked.

At this, she turned to him and he realised that even though she was all dressed up, she still looked very young.

Perhaps that was how she regarded him as well…

"I…I split some sauce on this kimono. This is not my kimono. I am not meant to be getting this dirty because my sisters will need to use this kimono when their turn comes…" she finally admitted.

"I can help you with that." He told her as he stood up in order to sit right beside her. "But Tamako-dono, what do you mean by this?"

"Chichiue and my stepmother say that I must dress up for this meeting in a way to make us appear as if we are really powerful and rich." She admitted honestly, perhaps a bit too honestly. "I think it is stupid. It is going to be discovered soon as I can't always be wearing this kimono."

"But I thought the Hōjō family are rich." He pointed out. "After all, your family own these lands."

"Izu is not that wealthy. The truth is that we are only a bit better off then most due to owning some lands."

"I am kind of relieved at that." Kagetoki admitted. He had finished his task, but he continued to sit right beside her instead of taking his original place next to her. "I thought that you were a very wealthy noblewoman who I would have great difficulty talking to."

"You are different from what I thought too." She said with a smile. "I never expected a boy to be so nice. My brothers are both so different. Once, aniue actually deliberately threw mud at me…although he never dared to do it again due to what aneue did for me." (1)

When he saw her laugh, he thought that she was even more pretty, and he even found himself grinning due to this.

"What do you actually think of this then?" she suddenly asked. "This marriage."

"You mean you and I?"

"Are there anyone else here? Why don't we be honest and tell each other the truth?"

"I was quite surprised when my father told me about it." Kagetoki admitted. "I thought that such a thing would not be taking place until a few years later. Perhaps it is because I will be leaving home for a while, it seems strange to marry now. Well, I know that the marriage would not take place immediately, but to be engaged is still quite strange."

"I think so too." Tamako agreed. "I was very shocked when Chichiue said that I am going to be engaged. I always thought that it would be aneue who marries first. Actually, I am very surprised that aneue is not engaged yet. After all, she is very pretty and smart."

"Maybe it is because she is the eldest, and the marriage of the eldest son and daughter are always very different due to what it symbolises." Kagetoki said before he then added the following very sincerely. "I am really glad that it is you that I am engaged to. I…I like talking to you. I don't feel nervous when I talk to you."

"I can say the same too." She gave him a very warm smile before she suddenly recalled what he had said earlier. "You said that you would be leaving home for a while…"

"I am going to Kyo to study Onmyōdō." At that time, he was extremely excited as he had no idea how tiring it would actually be.

"I am going to Kyo too!"

"To study Onmyōdō as well?!"

"Of course not!" she laughed once more and he decided that he really liked seeing this expression of hers. "I am…going to visit some of my distant relatives in Kyo and learn from them."

However, she did not seem to be very eager about this. The only reason that she ended up being happy about it was due to this:

"But this then mean that I can see Kagetoki-dono more." She said shyly. "If we will both be in Kyo…"

"Tamako-dono, we are engaged, right?" Kagetoki suddenly said. "We will marry one day. So, do we really need to be so formal with one another?"

"What do you mean, Kagetoki-dono?"

"Kagetoki." He corrected before he pointed to her. "Tamako."

Even though he knew that Tamako did not enjoy the reason she was in Kyo that much, he was still really glad at this because he get to see her often and he really enjoyed her company.

This actually made him want to see her even more, but he knew that he had to control himself. The letter was all but finished and he decided that he would include one of the waka that he suddenly composed. Much to his surprise, he actually ended up being quite good at this and he even helped out some of his senpai with this.

The reward was certainly shocking- they promised that he could borrow their shinigami whenever he wanted to. Therefore, he would send his letter to Tamako that way.

Then, he decided with a sigh, it would be time to study.

* * *

The shinigami did its task very fast and the letter was soon at the hand of the receiver. Luckily, she now had free time, which meant that she did not need to sneak off or hide in order to read the letter from her fiancé. Nor would she need to read it as fast as she could, she could do so leisurely.

She was also alone- which was another advantage. Often, the others would ask her about these letters as well as teasing her about it, especially those who has seen the two of them together. However, Tamako had to admit that she did not mind these teasing that much. In a way, she would smile in secret at her fortune- she was engaged to someone that she liked very much, and it seemed that her affections were actually increasing.

She liked her fiancé and she felt that the two of them could have a good marriage. However, she was not fully sure what a good marriage was. Her mother died when she was fairly young and when her father did re-marry, it was someone much younger. Since she and Kagetoki did not have such an age gap, this was not a good comparison.

Kagetoki did once mention that his parents' marriage was good and from what he said, it seemed to be two people who just enjoy each other's company and being able to talk freely together.

Not like this house, Tamako thought with a roll of her eyes. The master of the house had a seishitsu as well as a sokushitsu. The two of them were often arguing with each other, if not with their husband. But then, rumour amidst the servants revealed that it was an arrange marriage that went horribly wrong as the master of the house and his seishitsu both disliked the other.

Completely different from her and Kagetoki, she decided.

No matter what, she was really glad that she could be in Kyo because this let her see Kagetoki more. However, she admitted that this was a selfish indulgence because there were times when he really ought to be studying.

"I don't know how to explain it." Kagetoki had commented. "But I just really want to see you now."

"I am the same as well. There are times when I just really want to see you despite knowing that I can't at that moment. I really wish," she added, "That we can see each other whenever we want to."

There was always something that they could talk about and do, and if they didn't feel like doing anything, they might just sit underneath a tree together and they would be able to derive pleasure from this simple thing.

Whenever they had to leave, she would always feel a great reluctance.

It was clear that he was the same as he often said: "I really wish that time could stop now."

That was why the news of how they would be able to meet a few days later made her smile very happily. The last time they were together, she had expressed a desire of seeing the market with him and he had agreed. Therefore, this was what she could anticipate.

However, she couldn't help but to ask herself whether this was really alright. Should she not be discovering more of Kyo and its political setting since she was actually here.

She was sure that her beloved elder sister would be very different. Unlike her, who often find the talk of politics rather boring, Masako would always listen to the words very eagerly. In fact…she seemed almost hungry for the news.

But then her sister was very different. When the news of the engagement with Kagetoki was announced to them without her father announcing who would be the one, Masako had been rather vehement in her refusal.

"My wish is to marry someone who will come here so that I can stay in Izu and help chichiue." Masako announced. "I want to have the ability of doing something. He would not result in this."

"You seek a lot, Masako." Their father said with a laugh that showed them that he actually did not really take their words seriously. "If you want to stay in Izu then you will not be able to have a too powerful husband."

"I don't think it is completely for Izu. I think it is just a desire to be able to do something." Masako corrected. "Perhaps one day I will meet someone who I feel I want to help to achieve whatever they want. Then my wish will change."

"But aneue, then this means that his status will not matter." Tamako pointed out.

"No, his status would still matter. This is because I want more then a simple life." Masako explained. "Right now, the only greatness that I can see is if I stay in Izu and help chichiue."

"…perhaps it is lucky that you are a girl." Tokimasa said, and he was no longer joking. If she had been a son then he was sure that she would try to become the leader by fighting with her elder brother. If she had been the one who could receive the position of leadership then there would be no hesitation. "But Tamako, what about you?"

"I think I am the complete opposite of aneue. I think being like this will be really nice. A simple household with a family."

"And that is still what I want." she said softly as she carefully placed the letter from the one who she was now sure would be able to give her this. This was because it seemed that this was what he wanted too."

"I don't want to do something really amazing- I just want to be happy." He had admitted before he laughed rather nervously. "I am quite pathetic, am I not?"

"Not at all. I often see chichiue being agitated due to land issues as well as the news from Kyo. I don't want that to happen to you." She assured him before she said. "Most of all, I am like that too."

* * *

Like any girl in her situation, Tamako was rather conscious of her appearance. However, she was not fully sure why she was so concerned. Kagetoki often tell her that there was no need for her to be so.

"You look very pretty in that kimono when we first met but I think you are very pretty like this too." He had told her with a slight blush when she had been a bit concerned at how her hair was not tied properly.

However, she still wanted him to regard her as pretty, and she felt that certain effort must be made.

She had tried to dress as close as possible to the fashion of Kyo. When she first arrived, the others had laughed about her being like a simple country girl due to her appearance and her clothes. In addition, her accent was a rather clear reminder that she was not from here.

"What does that matter?" Kagetoki had comforted her. "Beside, I am not from Kyo either."

"But don't you think that those kimono worn by noble ladies are so pretty?" she said enviously as she looked at the impossible dreams. "And their hair as well."

Even though the Hōjō family were nobles as well, they were at a completely different situation from the nobles in Kyo. Even the kimono that Tamako had worn for her meeting would be fairly plain in comparison. In addition, her hair could not get too long and be in the way.

"I heard that Taira no Tokuko's hair is as long as the train of her kimono, and it is so smooth that it shines." She added. (2)

"I feel tired when I look at those kimono." He replied.

"Tired?"

"Don't you think that they look really heavy? That is all I can think of when I see them. Then I will feel as if someone is pushing me by the shoulders." He explained before he suddenly threw his hands up in the air. "Just thinking about it is making me really tired."

At this, she smiled. However, Kagetoki was not fully satisfied.

"If you have hair that long then you will probably have to spend so long arranging it. Besides, this means that I will not longer be able to walk beside you as I won't want to step on your hair. And don't you think that it will be really heavy as well? It must be. Also, if you have really long hair then you will need to decorate it and those pins look really heavy."

"Kagetoki…how come everything will end up being really heavy for you?" at this she finally began to laugh. "Isn't there any other word that you can use?"

"I've finally made you laugh." As he said this, he had a rather strange expression. He was smiling and seemed rather happy, but she did not feel that the adjective she used was right.

Later on, she would understand.

It was tenderness.

"But I do think that- " he began, but quickly stopped. "No, nothing."

He wanted to tell her that he liked her with long hair, but he didn't want to cause her to grow her hair just due to him, as it really could be very troublesome.

Once she was satisfied with her appearance, Tamako made her way to the place where they usually met. Despite Kagetoki's constant complain of how difficult it was for him to get out, he was rarely late.

Today was no exception. However, he was not alone, which was very surprising.

The additional companion was a young man who she has never seen before. He was probably their age and even though his clothes were not as elaborate as the noblemen in Kyo, she could still tell that he was a noble who was fairly well off.

"Tamako! Let me introduce you to Fujiwara no Kunihira-dono…" Kagetoki began, but he was quickly interrupted.

"Why is there a 'dono'? I feel that a 'dono' will prevent us from talking freely." Kunihira protested.

"But I called you 'Kunihira-dono' last time."

"That was different. We were not talking very friendly before." Kunihira pointed out.

"But you are very different! You are Yasuhira-dono's brother! Yasuhira-dono is of a very high birth."

"That is him. I am different. They are his mother's family."

Tamako couldn't help but to laugh as they were so serious, yet so childish at the same time. Despite the topic, they were arguing like how her brothers once argued in regard to a game due to their tone and emotion.

"Kagetoki, Kunihira-dono, can you two first put aside the question of whether we should use 'dono'? Kunihira-dono, I don't even know who you are other then your name." she suggested.

At this reminder, a brief instruction was given as well as how he ended up being here.

"By chance, I ended up bumping into Kagetoki and we just started to talk." Kunihira explained before he quickly added the following. "I hope you will pardon this intrusion, Tamako-dono."

"Why do I have a 'dono' at the end of my name when you don't want Kagetoki to address you as 'dono'?" Tamako quickly pointed out.

"That is so, that is so." Kagetoki added. "Tamako, you are so smart!"

"But you are a woman I haven't met before." Kunihira argued.

"Then it will be Kunihira-dono then." Tamako said sweetly although she did not understand why she was suddenly involved. "Right, Kagetoki?"

The three of them were still very young as they were only fifteen years old. That was why they suddenly found the situation very funny and they all started to laugh.

"What about this then? We will all just use each other's name?" Kunihira suggested.

"Why not? After all, we all agreed." Tamako said with a nod. "You and Kagetoki are really similar- that must be why you two seem to get on so well together."

"Similar?" the two young men examined out at the same time. "How so?"

"By being like this. Kunihira, do you want to come to the market with us?" Tamako offered. "By the way, Kagetoki, what are you actually planning?"

"I wasn't very sure." Her fiancé admitted. "We were just talking."

"Well, I gladly accept the offer." Kunihira declared out. "Tamako, you are Kagetoki's fiancée, is that not so?"

"Kagetoki! Do you tell everyone about me?" Tamako examined with a blush. "Including someone who you just met for the first or second time?!"

"No…it just slipped out!" Kagetoki began.

Laughing, the three of three young people went to the market together. Right now, the two parties merely found the other very easy and fun to talk to.

That was enough for a friendship to be built.

* * *

_**Notes:**_

_(1) __As I said, these two were quite close and I feel that Masako would have been a very loving sister._

_(2) __Apparently her hair was so long that when she jumped into the sea, the others managed to save her by pulling her by the hair._


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"_Let us make a__ promise:_

_Th__at even if we can't see each other anymore,_

_Ou__r friendship won't ever change."_

_~ (__青空の約束__)_

The chance meeting in the market actually resulted in a friendship between the three young people. Very soon, the three of them would be spending time together.

Initially, Tamako did feel a bit regretful at the fact that she and Kagetoki were not spending that much time together. However, she was quite glad that Kagetoki had such a good friend. He had once indicated that he never had a friend like this before, because the boys he had trained with in regard to weaponry had not been very friendly.

"But it is because I was really bad." He admitted. "My riding skills were alright but that is all I can say. My shooting were usually off target while my swordsmanship were worse." (1)

A clear contrast to Kunihira. However, the other had told Tamako that he was more at ease in Kagetoki's company then the people in the household that he was in.

"The servants regard me as one of the masters, but my brother's family does not really see me as being part of them. You two are the only ones I can talk to as a normal person! A bit like the way I was in Hiraizumi."

Kagetoki was naturally very special to Tamako as he was her fiancé, but she felt that Kunihira was becoming a special friend. Even though she knew that it would never be the same as the two young man's friendship, it was still a very pleasant friendship.

After one spent quite some time together, it was not hard to become friends unless you deliberately tried to not do so.

Right now, she was watching the two of them practising archery. Well, she corrected herself with a smile, it was really Kagetoki being taught by Kunihira, who was very skilled.

"I used to hunt with my father in Hiraizumi." He had said.

"Kagetoki, your aim is good but your position is completely wrong." Kunihira was saying. "That is why you end up being off target so many times."

"…you are actually a really strict teacher." Kagetoki muttered as he pulled his arm back and prepared to release the arrow. "I wonder…is there a way to adjust the weapon so that- "

"Kagetoki, concentrate!" Tamako called out.

Both she and Kunihira agreed that this was probably his main hindrance.

"Why is this a necessity…" Kagetoki uttered as he forced himself to only focus on this task.

"Sometimes I really think that you are born into the wrong family." Tamako said with a sigh. "You never need any encouragement in regard to waka or incense making."

Both of these things were the pursuit of the high aristocracy.

"That is different- they are fun." Kagetoki said, only to have Kunihira examining out: "How is doing such a thing fun?!"

"Kagetoki, why don't we stay in Kyo- you can be a waka teacher and writer." Tamako suggested half seriously. "You probably can do it as you seem to be really good at doing so."

"My father will disown me." Kagetoki said bluntly.

His father was a kind man, yet he was very frustrated with his only son. Kagetoki could only say that he deserved all this since the causes of his father's anger were fully justified. His father had been very disappointed at his inability of being a good bushi and Kagetoki knew that this was his own fault. He could have tried so much harder.

"I don't want to return to Kamakura just yet…that is true." He admitted.

One of the reasons that he enjoyed being with these two was that they never demanded him to do something, they never forced him to fulfil some type of expectation. Unlike his studies in the classroom, he knew that he did not need to pretend that he did not mind a failure by laughing out aloud.

"It is not that easy, Tamako. Why don't you try it?" at this, Kagetoki handed the bow to her.

"You need to raise your arm a bit more." Kunihira instructed as he handed her an arrow. "Like this."

Without thinking, he placed his hands on her to demonstrate the correct position, as he did for their other friend.

"…Kunihira, your hand is a bit close to what you shouldn't be touching." Tamako said dryly.

"I am so sorry." He said very quickly and he even took a few steps back.

A few months have passed since their first meeting and Kunihira realised that even though there had been many times when he ended up sitting beside her, he had never really had any physical contact with her.

Which was naturally the way that it should be.

As he watched Kagetoki take the spot beside Tamako as well as putting his hands on her, he suddenly found himself wondering what it would be like to be in that position.

At this, he quickly shook his head, why did such an absurd thought even enter his head! He could only hope that his two friends did not notice his unusual behaviours.

But of course they did not notice him. The two of them were laughing together and they stood very close. However, Kagetoki differed from him by not being concerned at whether this breached moral principal in anyway. In fact, he even had one hand tugging her hair teasingly. It seemed that he did not even know it as he would quickly drop that hand when Kunihira gave a rather loud cough.

"Kagetoki, I thought you were meant to be instructing her." He said dryly.

"I was…I was just making sure that her hair won't be in the way!"

Given that Tamako's hair was tied up very neatly, this was clearly a very bad lie.

"…this is really hard." Tamako moaned as she handed the bow back and then began to massage her arm. "Kagetoki, I can understand why you dislike it so much."

"I am really happy to hear you say this, but I am a bushi." Kagetoki admitted before he corrected himself with a rather embarrassed laugh. "Well, I am from a bushi family. Right now, I am not very sure whether I can be qualified as one."

"But I think this is much easier then waka." Kunihira said and the mere mentioning of this made him sigh. Some members of the family he was currently staying with were rather skilled at this and Kunihira suspected that some of the recitations in front of him were done on purpose.

"I did not find waka hard until I came here." Tamako confessed. "Kyo's people seem to have waka playing a much deeper level. However, I really like Kagetoki's waka. That is why I say that he should consider making that his job." (2)

"And as I said, my father will disown me." Kagetoki repeated again. "He is really proud at the fact that we belong to the Heishi and are a bushi family."

"Is this really something to be proud of?" unlike before, Tamako's voice no longer contained any gaiety.

"Tamako, doesn't the Hōjō family belong to the Heishi as well?" Kunihira pointed out as he took a seat beside Tamako. The two of them only sat together for a very brief amount of time as Kagetoki soon joined them.

"Yes, the Hōjō family does, but that is all." Tamako said bluntly. "The Heike who dominate the court are completely separated from us. I think they will probably ignore me if I knock on the door and beg for their aid. The ones who bear the name Taira are very different from those who no longer do so. Chichiue…chichiue say that we must respect them, yet he also said that we cannot expect them to do anything for us." (3)

"But it is not just the Heike. Isn't everything like that? We respect the emperor but do we really expect him to be very close to us?" Kagetoki pointed out before he suddenly lay down. "Ah, this whole talk of politics is too serious and it makes me feel really tired. Why are we getting so worked out about this? It doesn't really concern us."

"Kagetoki is right" Kunihira pointed out. "None of us are really in a position where this whole politics would bother us."

Tamako agreed most readily despite being the one who raised the topic. After all, this was what she was like herself.

"But are you not the son of Fujiwara no Hidehira?" she teased.

"I am not the heir. Yasuhira can have that troublesome position." Kunihira declared out. "A good thing too. I will just support him." (4)

"Kagetoki said that your brother is really different from you." Tamako recalled.

"Completely different. Yasuhira is what Kagetoki will describe as someone who can make you feel tired just by looking at him." Kunihira said without any hesitation. "He always looks as if he is scowling and I have never seen him smile, let along laugh. He is so serious as well."

"He doesn't really seem to talk to any other students either." Kagetoki added. "Although many say that this is because of his family."

"Not Yasuhira- he is like that with anyone." The elder brother assured him.

"But one can understand if he is snobbish though. After all, your father is a very powerful man while your half- brother's maternal relations are very influential in Kyo." Tamako said. "But what about your maternal relatives, Kunihira?"

"A small noble family in Oushu who are only rather powerful now due to Chichiue loving hahaue. Although my parents are very different from Yasuhira's parents." Kunihira added the last bit rather proudly. Unlike Yasuhira's parents, his parents were together due to their mutual affections instead of the necessity of creating an alliance and he would remember happy times with both of them.

Kunihira was very young when Yasuhira had been in Hiraizumi with the latter's mother, which was their father's seishitsu. It had certainly not been a happy marriage and he then decided that such a thing would not happen to him- an indulgence that he could allow himself to have as he was not the heir.

"…time passed so quickly." Tamako said regretfully as she noticed how the sun has begun to set. At this, she pouted slightly. "Why can't it go slower at such a time?"

"But we will meet up again." Kagetoki vowed as he sat up. "And it is said that if you are sad at a farewell, then the reunion will be happier. Hopefully, I'll be able to use my own shinigami next time."

At this, the three of them laughed due to recalling past memories and they then prepared to head off to separate ways. At this, Kunihira often felt a bit left out as Kagetoki would accompany Tamako.

But why did he feel that way? His two friends were engaged- they knew each other before they even met him.

* * *

Kunihira was very friendly to his half-brother, even offering to spend time with the other. However, the requests were usually met with refusal. That was why he was rather shocked at being greeted by his brother when he arrived back at the stables.

"The sun has not completely set- would aniue care to walk with me to the nearby temple? I would like to talk to you about chichiue." Was Yasuhira's request.

"Surely there has been no ill news." Kunihira immediately asked in great concern as the two of them began to walk.

Yasuhira actually glanced backward before he answered. "What I wish to talk to aniue about is about aniue, not about chichiue."

"Yasuhira, what do you mean by this?"

"People gossip and even though I did not wish to listen at all, I still heard some." Yasuhira began. "Neither my grandfather nor my mother are happy about this. Therefore, I feel that I should warn you as you are my brother."

"Warn me about what? Gossips about what?"

At his confusion, Yasuhira actually sighed deeply and the elder brother was certain of the exasperation and frustration in there being quite great.

"Aniue, why are you here in Kyo?"

"To know about Kyo and due to the possibility that I might marry your mother's half-sister." He answered simply. "So what about it?"

"And have you even talked to her?" Yasuhira asked dryly. "This evening, I heard my grandfather and mother talking about it."

"What did they say?"

"Hahaue say that if you do not wish to marry Eriko-dono, then you might as well go back to Hiraizumi. My grandfather say that he will still have you even if you do not wish to marry her since our families are connected. However, he feels…he feels that you are acting in an insulting way towards his daughter. If you do not want to marry her, then you should just say so, instead of spending your time with another woman."

"Is that so…" Kunihira said thoughtfully, "Yasuhira, what do you think?"

"…why are you asking me?" even though he did not say it, Kunihira was sure that his brother wanted to say: "This is your problem, not mine."

"The reason I tell you this is because I believe my grandfather might wish to talk to you." and with that, Yasuhira walked away.

Childish as it was, Kunihira really wanted to throw something at his brother. Would it really matter if a little concern was shown?

However, he ought to be grateful toward the warning as it did give him sometime to think of an answer. At the very least, a way to buy him more time.

He would have been glad if his brother helped him but who he really wanted to talk to was actually Kagetoki and Tamako. Perhaps Tamako more as he did not know how girls think and he did not feel that Kagetoki did.

When he returned, he was told that the master of the house wished to talk to him. The master of the house was naturally Yasuhira's maternal grandfather.

"Ah, Kunihira-dono, do have a game of gō with me." the other suggested very pleasantly.

As the pieces were laid out, his opponent made his move.

"Kunihira-dono, it seems that you have fitted into Kyo very well." The other began. "My daughter is quite regretful that she did not have much opportunity to be a guide for you, since another seemed to have taken it."

"Yes, a young man my age that I get on rather well with." He replied back easily. He was not completely certain of the situation, but he knew that he had to be careful.

"Oh? That seem to be different to what Eriko was complaining of, but then girl tend to do so. She says that you are often seen in the company of a young girl."

So this was the hook, Kunihira thought. He could just say that he did not want to marry Eriko, but he felt that this might be a bit too rash. After all, this alliance would be quite useful. (5)

As for the girl involved…it was not that he disliked her, but he simply didn't really thought of her. Perhaps he had been a bit too distracted.

"…she is the fiancée of my friend. That is all." He said this without any problem as this was the truth. For good measure, he soon added. "I would not be surprised if the two of them marry soon."

"And are they peasants?" it would naturally not be very good if they say that he prefers peasants instead of the company that he was staying with.

"They are both nobles…though they are naturally not as prestigious as the Fujiwara family. But my friend is from the Kajiwara family in Kamakura while his fiancée is from the Hōjō family in Izu."

"The Hōjō family…how closely is she related to Hōjō Tokimasa?" unlike the first name, the second name stirred some memories.

"I believe she is his daughter…his second daughter."

"I see…Hōjō Tokimasa…I have met him once and he is an interesting man."

"But you must forgive me for neglecting your daughter. It is merely because the new environment has been a bit too much for me. I wanted to…see everything. Also," The idea suddenly came up due to him recalling a conversation that he had with his two friends. "I do feel rather nervous approaching Eriko-dono as she is clearly so much superior then me with her grace. Perhaps that is why I ended up talking to my friend and his fiancée."

The man who might be his future father-in-law actually stared at him for a very long time before he suddenly burst into loud laughter.

"My daughter said that the Oushu Fujiwarashi has no manners but she was certainly very wrong." He chuckled. "You have potential, boy. However, I now give you full permission to court her."

* * *

This possible marriage was a rather unusual once because it has not been decided. Right now, it was only a possibility because it would depend on the actual couple. Hidehira's reasons were partly due to sentimentality and the fact that he was powerful enough to allow himself to have this indulgence. However, it was also due to where the bride was from. Perhaps he was afraid of history repeating for his son, or maybe it was because he knew that they did not need it that much as they already had the alliance due to him. In addition, Kunihira was the son of the woman he loved; not being the future leader also gave him this chance. (6)

However, this meant that Kunihira had to decide what to do.

The candidate in question was sixteen years old, just a bit older then him. It was true that she was rather attractive and extremely elegant, as well as speaking in a way that made him feel that she was paying full attention to him.

However, as he accompanied Eriko on her trip to a certain temple, he couldn't help but to think of Tamako. His current companion was walking rather slowly and even though she had deliberately changed into a much more suitable kimono, she was still very conscious of doing any damage to it.

Tamako had run with them.

The next time that he sees Tamako, he must tell her that the kimono she admired were not convenient at all. (7)

His companion talked a lot and he answered, however, he actually did not really know what it was that she was talking about, as his brain barely processed the words.

"But Kunihira-dono, what do you think of this line?" she suddenly said as she quoted out a line.

"…it is nice." He said absently.

However, this was clearly the wrong thing to say, as an obvious frown appeared.

"I…I do not know waka that well." He quickly explained.

"But that is one of the most common one. I thought even you would know." Was the innocent reply.

The 'even you' was obviously a bit too much for the young man.

"What do you mean by that?" Kunihira said angrily. "So what if I do not know waka very well?"

"Why, if it isn't Kunihira…dono!" the last bit was added due to a sharp elbow by his companion.

"Kagetoki-dono and Tamako-dono." Like Kagetoki, Kunihira was forced to add an additional honourfix. In his case, it was Tamako's expression that told him so.

"What a lovely day it is!" Kagetoki began, sensing that the other couple was clearly facing some sort of tension. "What a surprise it is to meet you here, Kunihira-dono."

"You are…" The mood actually ended up being even more cold, because Eriko immediately frowned upon seeing Tamako, as she could tell that her possible husband was actually rather glad to see this other woman who was dressed in a much more inferior style.

"This is Kajiwara Kagetoki and Hōjō Tamako." Kunihira began, a bit weary.

"Kunihira-dono, it has been such a long time since I last saw you." Tamako said, quickly making up the lies due to the instinct that came to her as a girl. Unlike usual, she was also speaking in keigo as well as in a rather formal way.

Thanks to her and some help from Kagetoki, a possible conflict was actually evaded.

"I still don't think that these two looks very happy though." Kagetoki pointed out when they were alone again.

"If she is like the daughter of my distant 'relations' then I can understand why." Tamako said. "Although it is also Kunihira's own fault. He doesn't really deliberately make conversation if he does not like the topic."

"But does Kunihira want to marry her? He said that he was not very sure." Kagetoki said in reference to what caused him and Tamako to meet up now. They would have discussed this, but they did get slightly distracted by what they saw in the market. "Tamako, do you think that you should not spend time with him? That girl did look at you in a rather strange way."

"I notice it too. I could do that." She said in agreement. "But I don't think Kunihira would be very happy about this."

"He will probably say something like: 'Why should this affect how I spend time with my friends?'." Kagetoki agreed. "But it is strange- that his father did not just decide on the marriage for him."

"Chichius once said that even though he would have the final say in his children's marriage, he still rather it be something that we agree on." Tamaka recalled before she suddenly smiled. "Next time that I write home…I should tell him that he has my full agreement."

* * *

_**Notes:**_

_(1)__ Kagetoki's case is actually quite interesting, he seemed to have very good eyesight and he seems to be very good with his gun. If he can actually afford to have a long ranged weapon being a way to let him fight at a distance, then he has to be quite good. Yet at one point in the game, he actually said that his shooting skill is not that good. Therefore, I think this is a bit due to his personality. I think he could have been quite good at archery if he wishes to, but he never did._

_(2) __This is due to seeing one of the extra events in the PSP game, when someone will actually ask Kagetoki to help him write a waka as it is said that Kagetoki is sort of the only one who can be as good as Yoritomo. In addition, the real Kagetoki is actually quite praised for this, and this was said to make him rather unusual about the Kantou warriors, who were said to be more uncouth, so would not know that kind of stuff. A contrast to the Heike. _

_(3)__ This is actually a major theme that I got for this story, and this is heavily influenced by the NHK version. I think there is a sense of double standard. At one stage, there is this whole shock at how Kagetoki (who belong to the Heishi due to his family) actually served Yoritomo, in fact many say that he is a traitor due to this. I think to a certain extent, the Hōjō family are like that too. In fact, there is the idea that Yoritomo will accept all sorts of people as many of the Hōjō and Kajiwara (Kagetoki) were Heishi, yet they were trusted by him. However, I feel that this is double standard because nothing has been done to deserve this. I feel that the Taira family (Kiyomori's family) is too distant and they really expect the others to obey without giving them anything in return. Therefore, I don't see why they ought to remain loyal just due to past connection. I think in a way it is like a rule rand his people. If you have done nothing to earn their loyalty, there is no reason that they will continue giving it._

_Also, in the NHK drama, Masako said that her father always mention about how important it is to belong to the Heike family, but I feel that Tokimasa is not particularly loyal, that he is merely playing up to the role that he is required. After all, at that next scene he actually yells at Masako and tells her that she must remember that some times, in order to survive, you have to be able to accept something you feel is unjust._

_(4)__ I don't know what the real Kunihira is like, but I feel that he would be a bit like in my story as he became really good friends with both Kagetoki and Tamako. I think like them, he just wants to enjoy his life._

_(5)__ In real history, Kunihira was actually married to the sister of Yasuhira's mother, and this was meant to be a way for the alliance between Hidehira and Yasuhira's maternal relations, to be even stronger._

_(6)__ If this was real history, then I doubt that Kunihira could be given this choice. However, one of the reasons that I did this was actually because I thought that Hidehira in the game seemed like someone who might actually do that. Although I now realise what an interesting scene I could have created if Eriko was actually married to Kunihira._

_(7)__ Obviously this is to show how much Tamako already matters to him, as he kept on thinking of her. _


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"_Protecting that right hand_

_Being guided by this left hand_

_I will always be by your side_

_Let us swear that we will not leave each other."_

_~ (__不思議野の迷い子__)_

Yasuhira was now eleven years old, and this meant that he would remain in Kyo for one more year, as he would return to Hiraizumi for his coming of age ceremony, which would take place upon him turning twelve.

Many actually whispered that he was probably able to have the ceremony now due to him being like a miniature adult. He studied all his lessons in a very serious manner as well as carrying himself in a very none nonsense way.

"Sometimes that kid scares me." Kunihira once admitted to his two friends. "You should have seen him the day he told me about how his grandfather wanted to talk to me about the possible alliance with our family and his maternal family."

However, despite Kunihira's protests and complaint, one could tell that he was actually quite fond of his brother as he continued to invite his brother to spend time with him.

"I don't understand aniue, what is the point of all those things?" Yasuhira protested without even putting his book down. "What is the point of walking through a market?"

"Surely you are not just going to spend the whole day reading?" Kunihira protested.

"It is more useful then going to the market."

"Yasuhira, are you planning on becoming a scholar?"

"No, I wish to be knowledgeable when I return to Hiraizumi." The younger boy declared without any hesitation.

"Then maybe you ought to put your book down- you will need to know the people, their way of life." Even though his voice was still very cheerful, there was a slight sternness in there.

At this, Yasuhira actually obeyed his brother by putting his book down and followed Kunihira, this was because he could tell that the other was actually right.

However, a suspicion soon entered his mind.

"Aniue, you are not just using me as an excuse to sneak out of the house, are you?"

The sudden laugher proved the other's guilt all too easily. Kunihira has spent more time with Eriko, the girl that he might be marrying, and he did make himself quite charming to her. However, his younger brother could tell that that this was all due to duty.

"I do not understand aniue very well." Yasuhira said once more. "Why do you not wish to marry Eriko-dono? This will be a very good alliance, would it not?"

"Yasuhira, do you know what being married means?"

"I am not a child!" Yasuhira said almost vehemently. "Of course I know what it means. It is to marry and have a child that will be your heir while the others will help that child or create alliances and connect families together. In addition, the wife need to guard the home for the husband should he go away."

His brother suddenly begun to laugh and this immediately made Yasuhira frown.

"What is so funny?!" Yasuhira demanded. "I am not wrong!"

"But not fully right either. You try telling Tamako that Kagetoki only wants to marry her for the purpose of getting an heir. Actually, it might be quite fun to see what happens." Kunihira chuckled out before he admitted. "Although I admit that this would have been part of the cause."

"Tamako and Kagetoki? Kajiwara Kagetoki?"

"My very important friends." Kunihira said without any hesitation.

"And is that why you continue to spend time with them even though- "

"I do not see what is wrong with me spending time with Tamako as well as Kagetoki. After all, Tamako is engaged to Kagetoki."

Yasuhira thought that there was something rather strange about his brother's tone at the last bit, but he did not think much of it.

The trip turned out to be rather worthwhile as Yasuhira did learnt something of what people regarded as important, as well as seeing what they could be like.

"Aniue…aniue?"

His brother was clearly distracted by something and following his gaze, Yasuhira saw that they were fixed upon two people. One was Kagetoki and he was holding up a hair accessory right next to his companion's hair. Both were laughing even though Kagetoki still putted the accessory back down before he seemed to be arguing with the owner.

It seemed to end up failing as the result was him turning away with a shake of his head.

At this, his brother waved to the two of them and it turned out that they were the two important friends that he mentioned.

"So this is Yasuhira-dono." The one he has never seen said as she crouched down. Unfortunately for Yasuhira, there was still a slight gap in height.

"Aniue was just talking about you." Yasuhira said. "I do not understand you. Are marriages not for the purpose of creating alliances and heirs?"

Tamako was actually completely stunned at this although she then quickly turned to Kunihira and whispered: "What is it with this kid?"

"I am not a child anymore!"

"Of course not, Yasuhira-dono." Kagetoki said with a laugh. "But it is just that you asked a very…unusual question."

"What is so unusual about it?" Yasuhira pointed out. "If you are not marrying her for alliance or having an heir, then why are you marrying her?"

"Kunihira, what is it with your brother?" Tamako repeated again.

"…I was trying to explain why I am not sure about whether I will marry his aunt, and then this ended up happening." Kunihira then explained the conversation that they just had.

"Well, yes. Marriage is for alliance and having children that will succeed you. But it is also important to get on well with them since you will end up living with them for the rest of your life." Tamako began. "Yasuhira-dono, I am not being rude, but your parents…can be an example."

"I do not understand why hahaue did that. It is so…irrational."

"Well, the main point is that you want to get on well with who you marry." Tamako concluded, deciding that she does not really want to continue talking about this.

"But that is not the main point." Yasuhira pointed out again. "That is not the purpose of a marriage."

At this, Tamako could only give up with a: "Kagetoki, you try to explain why we will marry."

"Wait, why me?" the said person immediately protested. "Kunihira, he is your brother."

"But I was the one who created the problem for him in the first place so I naturally can't do it. Beside, you are the one who is actually engaged."

"I don't think I fully understand what I feel myself, and I don't think Tamako does either."

"Then how do you expect me to explain when I am not even sure whether I want to marry or not? At least you and Tamako want to marry, right?"

"That is a completely different matter."

"Surely you know why you would want to marry her? Don't tell me that you are actually like my brother- that you only want to marry Tamako to get an heir -"

"Kunihira! Don't say such a thing in the middle of a market!"

Upon this, Tamako shook her head. "Not again. These two are like children at times."

"…aniue is usually like this?" Yasuhira examined out in surprise. "He is usually not so…childish."

At this, Tamako actually laughed, as to hear a child say his grown up brother as being like a child was rather amusing.

"Because they are very good friends who can laugh together. Even when they are arguing, it is not really arguing. It is more like a heated discussion. I don't think either of them is really trying to convince the other that they are the one in the full right. I think they just like doing this." she explained. "I think they both know this too."

Just the other day, Kagetoki and Kunihira were debating whether waka was as hard as archery. Not that this was something new, Tamako thought with a slight smile.

"Do you know my aniue quite well?" Yasuhira suddenly asked.

"Are you going to tell your aunt?"

"That is a stupid question, of course not."

"The first part can be left out." Tamako said dryly. "But the answer is yes."

"Will you marry him if he wants to marry you? Wouldn't an alliance with aniue be much better for your family?" he reasoned out.

"It is better for the family but I would never do so." Tamako said firmly. "As I said, it is not just due to fulfilling that purpose. I…I like Kagetoki in a very different way."

"I don't really understand."

"You will when you get older." This was the wrong thing to say, but it did grab the other twos' attention for her.

* * *

"It has been a while since I was this tired.." was Kagetoki's verdict when Yasuhira has temporary left by entering a shop, which meant that the three friends were alone again. "Kunihira- talking to your brother automatically make me feel as if I should straighten my back and use very formal Keigo."

"But is it really alright to just leave him in that bookseller's shop by himself?" Tamako asked. "I know that he say that he wishes to look at the stuff himself but he is still quite young."

"As he said, he is not a kid anymore. I think you ought to realise that by now, Tamako." Kunihira reminded her with a smirk. "But Kagetoki is right, talking to him can make you feel really tired."

"You say this of your own brother?" Tamako teased. "But Kunihira, what is it with you and your fiancée?" This was a rather blunt question but then the three of them were at a level where they allowed this from one another.

"She is not my fiancée. We are rather different from you and Kagetoki. I know that it would be really good if I marry her, but I do not want to."

"Do you dislike her?" Tamako asked. "Is that why?"

At that moment, he understood. It was not that he disliked Eriko, but that he could not like her. Perhaps he was merely envious of the happiness that his two friends had and therefore felt that someone similar like Tamako would be able to give him that happiness.

Someone he could laugh with, someone he could talk to without any difficulty.

"It is you two's fault." He muttered. "You make me feel that marriage is not just for alliances."

However, Kunihira ended up being very lucky, as he did not need to make a choice.

Even though Eriko and he did have a courtship, his attitude made the young girl give up her original romantic dreams. Therefore, she did not ignore the others who sought to have her smile at them. One of the young men actually managed to charm her and since he was from a very prestigious family too…

This alliance would be advantageous and regardless of what happened, nothing could change the fact that Yasuhira was part of this family. Besides, the head of the house already realised that Kunihira was probably not going to marry Eriko despite this courtship that they displayed.

However, it would be him that had to break the news, and it was an opportunity where he might actually end up losing quite a bit.

Luckily, he thought, Kunihira's personality was very straightforward. He would not be the type to toy with what ifs.

"Then I congratulate them." Kunihira actually felt a sense of great relief upon hearing this news, because this meant an end to a problem that had become quite troublesome for him.

"I hope that you will not mind this decision, but it seems that you and my daughter did not get on very well with each other…"

"Not really." Kunihira said honestly. "But I do have a small request."

"You are more then welcome to continue staying here." Was the grand offer- which was also the bribe. "In fact, please do not use such a word as request. This is your home as well."

Kunihira was extremely relieved at this as he was not wiling to go back to Hiraizumi yet. This seemed because he did not wish to say farewell to his two friends yet.

"But I will probably return to Hiraizumi with Yasuhira next year." He said rather reluctantly.

"A year is not that long- it can pass very quickly." Kagetoki said. "I don't want to return to Kamakura either."

"I wouldn't mind going back to Izu though." This was the discontenting opinion. "I will like to see my family and talk to them properly."

"Do you not write to them? Isn't that letter from them?" Kunihira asked curiously as he pointed to that said object.

"That is so, but chichiue tell me that I must be very careful in what I write. In fact," at this she made a face. "My letters seem to just mention the scenery. I can talk about Kagetoki but it seems that I cannot talk about you. Likewise, the letters that aneue write back are quite…restricted too."

At this, she suddenly leant forward. "What about my aneue? My aneue is very beautiful, and she is very smart as well."

"What do you mean?" the two young men both said at the same time.

"To be your wife." She said seriously. "It is true that our position is quite a bit lower then yours, but my aneue is a very good person to marry."

"Is she like you?" Kunihira asked.

"…only in appearance." Was the negative verdict.

Kunihira really wonder whether his answer might have been different if hers was different.

"She said that she would like to achieve something great." Tamako explained. "And I think she might be able to do this if she marries you."

"Then wouldn't it be better if she marries Yasuhira?" was the suggestion. "Besides, I doubt that we have much of a choice in this anyway."

"It was just a thought, although I think it would be very nice if this happens, as you will be my brother-in-law." She said pleasantly. "Although I really don't understand how aneue thinks."

It was true that they were not expected to marry as early as high nobility, but her sister would be seventeen soon, which was a rather suitable age. In addition, the letters hinted that there were many suitable candidates.

"Is it because aneue wishes to be in love?" she had once asked in a letter. The reply had been: "Perhaps, but then who is it that can make me love them?"

At one hand, her sister wished for love, yet she was also critical in who she might love.

She and her sister were the only daughters of Hōjō Tokimasa and his first wife, and there was only a one year age gap between them. Even though the two of them were similar in appearance enough to be mistaken as twins, they had completely contrasting personality. Perhaps, she admitted to herself, they were a bit like Kunihira and Yasuhira.

She was not ambitious, unlike her sister who dreamt of doing something great. Tamako would have been happy to live idly, but her sister would learn of the rumours and gossips of Izu for knowledge. In fact, her sister would even attend the talks their father had with others. It was not a formal one, but tongues would be loose.

Tamako was often dragged into these talks since Masako pointed out that it would be too unusual if she go alone. However, the excuse seemed quite obvious as Tamako rarely contributed anything to the conversations.

"That is not true. Unlike me, you put them off guard." Masako had assured her and she was not just saying that to make her sister feel better. More then once, their father and brother had said the following to her: "Masako, your smile is a bit too sweet. People will suspect that you are up to something."

Which was exactly what she was doing.

"But aneue, why do you wish to know all these things?" Tamako had once asked. "It does not always concern us, does it?"

"I don't like being ignorant." Masako had said. "And I like to know."

However, Masako did not force others to share her standards. She did not think any less of her sister for her sister's different attitude. As a result, the two sisters were rather close to each other.

"Kajiwara Kagetoki is not someone that I will want to marry," Masako admitted bluntly, "But since you like him, I want you to marry him and be happy."

Tamako would say the very same for Masako. However, she never once realised that their husbands would end up having so much to do with one another.

Perhaps I will be able to visit Kamakura and Izu even after I go back to Hiraizumi." Kunihira declared out, interrupting her reverie. "In fact, I am sure that I will be able to."

"I am not sure when I will be going back to Kamakura though." Kagetoki said. "But you will always be welcomed there."

"I want to go to Kamakura too." Tamako said merrily. "After all, I am to live there one day."

To Kagetoki and Tamako, they were engaged while Kunihira was their very good friend. To Tamako, he was a rather special friend since they were of a different gender. However, Kunihira was no longer so sure about how to categorise them.

Kagetoki was his close friend- his best friend, but was Tamako just a special friend?


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

_"Even if the moment is brief like dusk_

_It is still good to be surrounded by your warmth."_

~ (_逝春の心は黒曜石に_)

For Yasuhira, this was a day that he had wanted for quite sometime. Even though he was not the type who thought that time was going too fast or two slow, he was still rather pleased at the arrival of the time.

His brother, however, was completely different.

"Aniue, if you want then you can probably just stay here. " Yasuhira pointed out when he saw his brother releasing another sigh.

"I would like to, but I cannot. I can't stay here when you are going back. I actually should have gone away when it was clear that Eriko-dono and I would not be marrying." Kunihira admitted. "However, due to you I was able to stay a bit longer."

"It is not as if you helped me out or anything." Yasuhira said bluntly. "Whether you are here or not did not really matter at all."

"…Yasuhira, I will be a bit careful at how you speak when we get back to Hiraizumi." Kunihira said seriously. "These people are the people you intend to rule over, so they are not people who you can just leave behind. In addition, they are probably already prejudiced against you."

"Because I grew up in Kyo?"

"That is so, and because of your mother. Many loyal to our chichiue are very fervent and they have not forgotten her action of running away with you. Finally…"

"Finally? What is my condemning fault?"

"You studied Onmyōdō as well as being rather scholarly. They much prefer someone that…"

"Is like you, aniue?" unlike what one expected from such a sentence, there was no emotion that accompanied it.

"They probably do think that the future leader should be one who could fight with them."

"Any common man can do that." This was said with great disapproval. "A leader ought to be one who can command and…"

"Yasuhira, you probably are going to learn it all the hard way." Kunihira muttered. "At the very least, observe the people before you speak."

Despite what he tried to do, as well as what he would do, Kunihira was sure that his brother was going to anger more then a few with that attitude. The worst bit was that some of the stuff that he said was actually right, but the way he said it caused the problems.

Kunihira admitted that it was true that he did not do much in Kyo, but he was sure that the same would not be said when they returned to Hiraizumi. Although he doubts that his brother would want his help.

In a few days' time, they would set out and return to Hiraizumi. It would be good to go back, he reasoned out, to the surrounding that he was familiar with. To the lifestyle that he was used to. No matter what, he did feel that some of Kyo's practises were really troublesome and a bit affected at times.

He would be lying if he did not admit that he would be at much more ease at his own home instead of this place where he was the guest- and he suspected that he was actually a rather annoying one as well. After all, he didn't fill the initial purpose that allowed him to be here.

There were also friends that he wished to see as well- friends from the other noble families that he often sparred and hunted with. It was not the type of friendship that involved writing letters to exchange information, but he knew that it would be very pleasant to see them again.

However, it was a very different type of friendship from Kagetoki and Tamako. Unlike the others, he was really reluctant at leaving them. Even though they only met now and then, it seemed to be the fact that they were all in the same place.

He was going back to Hiraizumi while they were staying in Kyo. One day, the two of them would marry and go to Kamakura together. Even though he probably could visit, it would no longer be the same.

They had arranged the meeting today as they might not get a chance to do so before he leave Kyo. He already told them about what happened and they were both very sad about it. However, he felt that Tamako was appearing very miserable due to another reason.

"But we will be married soon." Kagetoki was saying. "So please smile."

"Tamako, are you leaving Kyo as well?" Kunihira asked as he took his place beside them. This would probably be the last time that the three of them sit like this.

"I received a letter from chichiue this morning- he wishes for me to return to Izu. It isn't that bad because I do wish to return to Izu since I would leave it for a long time when Kagetoki and I marry. However…" at this, Tamako sighed. "I only realised how much I actually don't want to go now."

At that moment, she finally realised that the liking she had for Kagetoki was more then that. It was love. She leant a bit closer to Kagetoki and grabbed his hand. He was startled but he then responded by putting an arm around her.

"I know I am being very childish as we will probably be together very soon, but I feel really reluctant to leave." She muttered before she quickly turned to Kunihira. "I am so sorry for being like this when Kagetoki and I promised one another that we will be really cheerful for your sake."

At this, Kunihira couldn't help but to smile: "If you two are really cheerful then I will feel that you two are actually celebrating the fact that I am leaving."

"Well, smiling is less tiring then crying." Kagetoki pointed out, determined to play his role well.

Kagetoki and Tamako often sit together, although there were times when the two of them actually sat on either side of Kunihira. However, Kunihira noticed that there was something rather different about the two of them.

Perhaps things would have changed anyway.

Later on, Kunihira would often think that it was quite ironic that he had been the one to first notice and realise the change that would affect the three of them. It was not Tamako, even though one would expect that a woman would be the one to notice it. Nor was it Kagetoki- who was actually quite observant to these small things.

Perhaps it was good that he was going back to Hiraizumi now.

That time the three of them laughed together would not come back and this was not just because two of them were leaving.

He realised that he was no longer completely unhappy at leaving, as he did not wish to see the two of them like this.

He was jealous. He was jealous at how Kagetoki had his arm around Tamako, at how she was leaning against him. Unlike him, who might only get to see Tamako now and then, Kagetoki would always have Tamako beside him.

At the same time, he felt really bad at this. Kagetoki was the best and closest friend he ever had, and he should be glad for him instead of thinking about such a thing.

"Kunihira, I know that you are upset but it surely can't be as bad as your expression!" Kagetoki yelled out, little guessing that he was partly to be blamed.

"That is so! It can't be that bad!" Tamako added. "And it will be really foolish if the three of us spend our last time together before you and I leave Kyo in such a fashion.

"Of course, you two exaggerate my expression. Tamako, you know that Kagetoki always have a tendency of exaggerating." Kunihira said lightly, what he just discovered would be his secret and perhaps after a period, he would be able to get rid of this strange feeling and Tamako would simple be a special friend, as well as the wife of his closest friend. Surely this was not impossible. After all, didn't the girl he was meant to marry quickly found a new object to love?

Tamako was now smiling as she gestured for him to follow Kagetoki and her. For a brief moment, he allowed himself the brief indulgence of holding onto her hand. To her, this was probably the equivalent of her brother holding onto her hand.

He now wonders why it took so long for him to realise the real meaning of her being 'special'. The first clue actually appeared rather early- he didn't want to marry Eriko as she was not like Tamako. Perhaps the truth was because she was not Tamako.

"Let us go to Ninnaji and see the sakura there." Kagetoki decided. "It should still be blooming although it might not be in full bloom now. We will get some wine as well…"

The three of them talked a bout many things that night- about their plans for the future, as well as some reminiscence of the past. However, the conversation did turn to lighter matters- what they might have done if it wasn't for this being possibly the last time that they would be together until quite some time later.

It was actually the continuing of a conversation that they had before.

"I still think it could work really well." Kagetoki declared out.

Unlike before, Tamako sat much closer to her fiancé and her hand was often grabbing his. Perhaps, Kunihira thought, it was only due to the fact that she was leaving, but he still felt a bit awkward to be there.

"Besides," Kagetoki added, "Surely it is good if you are preserving more men."

"But it is not proper at all." Kunihira said firmly. "Kagetoki, you never shoot the rowers."

"But what if I am really outnumbered?" Kagetoki argued out. "Surly the prudent thing would be going along with my plan."

"But if you win, everyone will say that you should not win."

"Yes, but it will not change the fact that I won, and that my people are alive."

"Kagetoki…will you seriously do that?"

"Why are you looking so serious?" Kagetoki laughed. "I will never be in such a position."

"I think I am glad of that." Kunihira said and he was actually rather serious. "I think you will be a really ruthless commander due to doing anything in order to win."

"That is not possible! I plan to be an Onmyōji and I do not intend to join any war." Kagetoki said cheerfully. "Not that there would be any war. The Heike seems to be in a quite strong position."

Many years later, Tamako and Kunihira would remember how the simple idea become very important.

* * *

Unlike Kunihira, Tamako had one last chance to visit Kagetoki before she returns to Izu. Contrary to what Kunihira might think, the couple did consider the possibility of embarrassing their friends and they only allowed themselves to hold hands the whole time when they were finally alone.

Right now, they were sitting at their usual place once again. However, a person was now missing from the trio. It was true that the third member had been a surprising addition, but they both accepted him very quickly and regarded him as a very good friend.

"I will be alone in Kyo with my lessons as my companion." Kagetoki began in what he hoped to be a joking tone. "But you will write to me very often?"

"Of course." She promised.

"…Tamako." He was actually rather nervous at this.

"What is it?"

"I want to give you a present, so please close your eyes and don't move."

She was clearly puzzled, but she still did so.

At this, Kagetoki took out the hair accessory that he had brought for her, trying to not make too much sound as he unwrap the layers of papers. Without understanding why, he had wanted to buy something for her and hoped that she would like it.

If he remembered it rightly, he was supposed to put it in her hair like this.

The frown informed him that he did it wrong. However she did not open her eyes and this allowed him to carry out the second part of his plan. Right now, he only dared to do this when they were alone.

What if she suddenly moved? What if she suddenly speaks- that was not the same as not moving. Should he tell her to not speak either?

In addition, he was not sure what he should do with his hands. Now that he was finally in this situation, he ended up considering questions that he never thought of before.

Placing his hands on her shoulders, he leant forward and kissed her.

The kiss was very brief and he quickly drew back when she opened her eyes.

"Kagetoki…" in her surprise at the second gift, she almost forgot about the first one.

"You can take it out and see what it is." Kagetoki said quickly, perhaps due to a bit of guilt. At that moment, he realised that his action had been very foolish- what was the point of placing the gift in a place where she was not able to see it?

Perhaps it was because he wanted to see how she would look first.

She was clearly very happy with her gift and after she finished admiring it, she held it out to him.

"Can you put it on for me again?"

"Are you sure? It might hurt." However, she answered with a very firm shook and nod of head.

"It won't hurt and I want this. It is very pretty…the kobashi flowers." She said. "Kagetoki, aren't they your favourite flowers?" then she turned to him. "Kagetoki…let us do it again."

He didn't even have time to answer as she leant forward and kissed him. This time, the kiss lasted much longer.

"I love you." Tamako confessed shyly.

He wrapped his arms around her and then whispered these words to her as well. It was funny how it could be so difficult to say these three simple words.

"I don't want to leave Kyo even more now." She admitted, leaning against his chest.

"But where will you stay then?" he reasoned out practically as he planted a kiss on the top of her head. Even though he was trying to be practical, he actually found it very hard to release his hold. "It will not be long, Tamako. We will marry and then we would always be together."

* * *

Hair accessories should be worn in the hair but Tamako actually tucked her gift in her clothes, and she would take it out to admire it now and then, as well as thinking of the one who had gave it to her.

She had come to Kyo with her father who had some sort of business to do. Given that travelling was not that safe, her brother was sent to take her back to Izu.

The brother in question was her elder brother- who was also the eldest child and son in the family. Even though she was not that close to her brother, they were still close enough to have a conversation throughout the journey home to Izu.

"It is good that you are coming home." Her brother, Munetoki said. "I think Masako is getting really bored without you." (1)

"Aniue, I think aneue would still be bored even if I am there." Tamako pointed out dryly. "You know that she is like. Besides, do you actually think that I can stop her?"

"…probably not. When Masako makes up her mind, no one can say otherwise. However, I think it is a bit worse then usual," he said thoughtfully. "Chichiue has been rather angry with her- he tells her that girls should behave like girls by staying indoors instead of poking around in man's business."

The brother and sister exchanges glances at this as they both knew what this really meant. Their father would only say such a thing if the said person was very close to discovering something he did not want them to know about. If it was his sons, then he would substitute the word with 'boy'.

"But just what is it that aneue might e doing?" Tamako asked.

"It is not just Masako, chichiue has been rather strange too. He is…" Munetoki paused slightly in order to find the right word. "Chichiue seem to have become very religious. He would spend a long time in the family shrine everyday."

"That does not sound like chichiue at all." Tamako said in agreement, as their father was never particularly religious.

"I think Masako's action is partly due to her wanting to find it out, but that is not all." He said before he shrugged. "Masako is too rash- she always wants to know the answer immediately."

"That is because you will know the answer anyway, aniue, as you are chichiue's heir. However, this is no guarantee that aneue would be able to be told of these things."

"That is true. Sometimes I really think that if she was a boy, then she would be fighting me in order to become the leader."

"Not everyone wants to be the leader though…some are the exact opposite." Tamako was thinking of Kagetoki, who always said that he did not want to be the head of his family even if it would just be a small family. Likewise, Kunihira would always celebrate the fact that he was not the heir despite being the eldest child.

"Aniue, do you know much of the Oushu Fujiwarashi?" Tamako suddenly asked.

"A little. Fujiwara no Hidehira is the current leader and he is said to be quite a powerful man. There was the rumour of how his seishitsu leaving HIraizumi with their heir, but it seemed that he will be returning."

"I have seen his heir once." Tamako said, and this was not a lie. 'He is learning Onmyōdō as well, so Kagetoki recognised him. I did hear that there was another son…"

"Yes, by Hidehira's sokushitsu. I do not know much of it though." Munetoki conclude. 'Why are you suddenly so interested in Hiraizumi?"

"Simple curiosity, as I have heard some gossips when I was in Kyo." She lied very quickly.

* * *

Upon arriving back in Izu, she was quickly greeted by her sisters. Her eldest and closest sister then looped her arm around her, expressing the desire of talking to her privately.

"I heard that chichiue is behaving rather strangely." Tamako began tactfully. "Aniue told me about how he would spend a long time in front of the family shrine.""

"That is so, and we are not allowed to go in, not even our stepmother or aniue could. But now that you are here, you will help me, right?" Masako asked with clear gaiety. "None of our other sisters would. They would say we should not take such a risk."

"I will say the same thing as them, aneue." Tamako reasoned out.

"But you will still help me, right? Also," at this, Masako actually darted a glance behind to make sure that no one will overhear her. "I think I saw him."

"Him?" Tamako had to think for a moment before she realised what this meant. "Surely you don't mean him?"

Izu had another reputation and that was a place of exile. They knew that there was actually someone exiled from Kyo who arrived in Izu soon after they were born, but they knew almost nothing about that person.

This was something that their father was determined to ensure. When the two girls were younger, they had been taught that the person was some sort of monsters, and their younger siblings would probably still believe this story. Now that she thought about it, Tamako was actually quite surprised that her sister didn't try to discover about wthat person earlier.

"I saw him." Masako said, and her tone was actually filled with wonder. "Tamako, he is the most handsome man that I have ever seen."

"But…who is he?"

"That," Masako said with great determination, "Is what I will find out."

Who are partner in crime was very obvious.

"Tamako, I also want to ask you about Kagetoki. Well, not so much about him, but what you feel about him."

At this, Tamako blushed, and Masako was then even more certain that she was asking the right person.

"I love him." Tamako whispered with a blush. "I really do."

"But what does it feel like?" Masako pressed on.

"I just want to always stay beside him, and…" Tamako blushed even more as she whispered. "When he hold me, if feels really comfortable. Why you asking me this though? Are you in love with someone?"

"…I don't think it is love." Masako said thoughtfully. "But when I look at him…at that stranger, the feeling is very strange. I have never felt this way with any other man."

The man in question was naturally Minamoto no Yoritomo.

* * *

**_Note:_**

_(1) __Tokimasa's eldest son is called Munetoki, and then Masako is the eldest daughter. I have seen versions that say Masako is the eldest child as well, but most sources say that it is Munetoki. Munetoki and Masako shared the same mother as well, and they also have a younger sister called Tokiko, who actually shared the same mother as them. Tamako is basically fulfilling this position; however, I do not want to call her Tokiko because this is bound to cause confusion due to Taira no Tokiko- Kiyomori's wife, who was mentioned in the game_


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

_"If you so decreed, even thousands of dreams_

_Would quietly gather and kneel obediently at your feet.""_

_~ (__天狼を抱く夜空となりて__)_

It was much easier for Masako to wonder out now that her sister was back in Izu. After all, there were numerous reasons that the girls could come up that could justify their action. Of course, Masako could have come up with reasons herself, but her father tended to suspect that she was up to something. To his credit, she usually was.

Tokimasa was proud of his eldest daughter and he was sure that she was very capable. However, this then made her a rather difficult problem for him.

If he knew of Masako's latest plan, then he definitely would have been quite alarmed.

"Tamako, we are not doing anything wrong." Masako was saying. "We have every right to see this man."

"You mean you want to see him." Tamako said dryly. "But aneue, what do you wish to know of? His whole family? His background? Is it not enough that you know he is an exile from Kyo?"

"But aren't you curious to know why he is exiled given his age and what he is like?"

With great difficulty, Tamako had to swallow back the "No, not at all."

Masako's plan was simple- they would conveniently wonder there due to being lost, and then the ball they were playing with would conveniently fall into that house.

It was not much of a plan, Masako admitted, but it should let her have what she want- which was to see the mysterious person- since they would be going inside to retrieve their ball.

"And why should we not go inside? Are we not the daughters of the man in charge of this area?" Masako said before she carried out the plan by tossing the ball in.

"Now we just enter." Masako said merrily as she headed straight through the gate.

The first person who greeted them was not the man in question, but a very old woman who they later learnt to be his wet nurse from a long time ago.

"Masako-sama and…" she did not recognise the younger woman, but this was not very surprising given that Tamako only returned to Izu for a few weeks ago after a rather long absence.

"We dropped our ball when we passed outside." Masako said sweetly, before she waved aside the other's offer of finding it with their servant. "Tamako and I can manage."

"What is going on here?"

That was when Tamako saw Yoritomo for the first time. Even though she would only see him for a few more times, he would have a dramatic impact on her life.

He was, as Masako said, a rather handsome man. Perhaps it was due to him being exiled and then living in such a secluded fashion, there was something rather different about him. He was very much unlike the other men that they have seen in Izu.

There was something rather imposing about him even though he seemed rather quiet. However, as they introduced themselves, Tamako felt that he was quiet not due to his nature, but because he was waiting for the right time. When her sister mentioned her name, Tamako ended up meeting the other's gaze and she was startled by it without understanding why.

"…you two wish to know who I am?" he said slowly upon Masako's question. "I am surprised that you do not already know."

"Chichiue seem to want to make you into a secret." Masako said with a pout. "He wouldn't even let me see you."

"And this meeting is really due to chance?" this was said with a slight smile. "I do not think my identity matters much now. I am Minamoto no Yoritomo."

"Minamoto no Yoritomo?" the sisters yelled out at the same time due to their surprise. "The son of the last leader of the Genji?"

"As you can see." Yoritoo said. "I was exiled here and placed under your father's supervision."

"Why can we not see you before then?" Masako pressed on. "Would this not be a good idea? If I visit you, I can supervise you and I am sure that you probably would not have suspected me."

"I would now." Yoritomo said dryly. He found the girl in front of him rather interesting, and she was certainly a contrast to her sister, who seemed more then happy to leave.

"The Heike are still paranoid of the Genji being in power again." Yoritomo said simply.

"And do you think that this is justified?" Masako asked steadily.

"Who knows? But you two ladies of the Hōjō family, are you not forgetting why you came here?"

This was actually a dismissal. Tamako was actually rather relieved at this, unlike her elder sister.

"I am not going to give up though." Masako said firmly as she absently played with the ball that they retrieved. "I will think of another way."

Those who knew her all knew that she was very stubborn.

However, meeting Yoritomo was just one of her two projects. The other thing that she was trying to find out was their father's strange action in regard to the family shrine.

Masako's plan for this was rather simple as well, and Tamako felt that her sister enlisted her help just due to caution. She was sure that Masako could have done this herself. After all, all that Masako wanted was for someone to guard the corridor as they carried out their plan in the middle of the night.

On that night, everyone else but them slept.

Despite her confidence to her younger sister, Masako was actually rather nervous. After all, she had no idea about what she might found in there.

"…if someone come, I will notify you." Tamako assured her. "I am sure that your plan will work, aneue, but I really don't like this so please hurry."

There were times when Masako felt a bit frustrated with her sister. If Tamako had her way, then she would live a really monotonous life with no excitement at all. In fact, all Tamako wanted was to get through every single day with security and little, if no changes.

She was sure that Tamako would marry her fiancé and then live a very simple life of looking after his household and children.

When smaller, Masako did lament that her sister's lack of adventure prevented her from having a companion to play the way she wanted all the time. However, she was still very fond of her sister, even if she was rather timid.

When Masako stepped past the door, the first thing that entered her mind was that she might have been a bit too hasty by coming in here without discovering anything more.

This was because her instinct told her to step out.

However, Masako's personality meant that this only made her all the more determined to continue.

There was someone in the room- a strange presence. Yet she could not see any obvious shape. It was true that the single light from her candle was very dim, but she was sure that she would be able to notice a person.

"…over here." The voice seemed very loud, but she was sure that it did not wake up anyone. Strange as it was, she was not even sure whether it would have been heard by her sister, who was just a few steps away.

Swinging her candle around, she saw the family shrine. She then crouched down as she knew that this was where that strange presence was.

Masako expected something unusual, but what she found seemed like an anti-climax.

It was a dog, one of the many hunting dogs that could be found.

However…she soon realised that she was very wrong.

The dog actually spoke.

At that moment, Masako really wonder whether her desire for finding something dramatic has caused her to hallucinate such a thing.

"This is merely my current host." The dog was speaking to her, but the mouth did not move at all. Yet the voice was loud and clear in her head.

It was also a feminine voice.

"What…what manner of being are you?" Masako finally whispered.

"Is it not the manner of this country to say why you are before you demand someone of their name?"

"This country? But you are right…I am Hōjō Masako, the daughter of Hōjō Tokimasa."

"Your father spoke of you- he is worried that you might be able to find out about his guest." Even though the actual expression was naturally neutral, Masako was sure that the other was actually laughing.

"Who are you then?" Masako demanded. "I have already told you who I am."

"As I said, I am your father's guest. Although at this point, I am on the lighter side of the scale.

"Are you imprisoned here?" she asked curiously.

"No. however, I am very dependent on him." this was said with clear scorn. "This body is limited, and your father is the one who provided it- as well as preventing me from having a more useful body."

"…are you a monster?" she said slowly. However, she did not withdraw.

This earned her the other's approval.

"Not a monster. I am a goddess."

That would explain a lot of things, Masako admitted.

"How is it that chichiue can have power over you then?" this was a question that was still unexplained.

"Because he is the one that feed me, and he is careful in making sure that I would not be that powerful."

"What do you eat then?"

"…that is my secret." However, the other's voice suddenly became very gentle. Masako has long realised that this was often a technique people used in order to ask something, although she was a bit surprised to learn that the same logic could actually apply to a goddess as well. "I am not as powerful as I was, but I still have many powers. Therefore, I will grant you a wish if you help me."

"I do not trust you."

"That is fair enough…that is smart. However, my request is a harmless one. I merely wish to borrow your body for a little while, so that I can…"

"I refuse!" Masako actually raised the volume of her voice as she did this, a warning of how she would start screaming if need be.

"I do not wish to do anything harmful. There is merely someone that I wish to talk to…and I think you are probably the only one who would understand."

"…do you mean Minamoto no Yoritomo?"

"I was right in thinking that you would understand. I wish to talk to him, because I have watched him ever since I arrived in this place." Strangely, the voice became gentle once more. This time, Masako knew that this was not deliberate. "However…I could not be at his side."

"Why do you take such an interest in him?" the young woman asked. "But how is it that you are here?"

"My last body was killed and I decided to approach your father due to the belief that we would work together. He provided to be much more capable then what I thought. As for your other question…he is like me. We are both exiled to a foreign place with our power limited, especially when compared to what we had, or what we might be able to have."

"I can understand your desire to talk to him, but I will not lend my body to you." Masako declared out firmly. "However…I will find a way to take you out. But first of all, I wish to know your name."

"Is this curiosity, or is this because you are shrewd as well? Very well," unlike before, the name was whispered out.

"Dakiniten- this is only for you to know."

"I will not forget it." Masako said very calmly as she walked toward the door in what she hoped to be a very dignified manner.

What would Dakiniten have thought if she knew that the moment Masako closed the door, she actually collapsed on the ground?

Tamako was naturally very worried about her sister, but she knew that she had to wait a while before she asked her about what had happened.

They naturally had secrets from each other, but right now, it was simply because they did not feel that the other needed to know about it. If the other asked them, then would have most likely revealed it.

After all, they grew up together and they were also very close in age, which made them even closer with one another.

The next day, Masako seemed much quieter, but this was not completely surprising. After they had their meal, she and Tamako went out with the excuse of wishing to pick some flowers.

Their stepmother merely smiled as this as she thought that they were merely talking of romantic dreams as girls of their age tended to do.

"Aneue…I think we are far enough." Tamako said. She says this as Masako kept on darting her gaze.

"…Tamako, I will tell you what happened last night if you promise me this." Masako actually leant forward and grabbed her sister by the hand. "You will not tell this to anyone, not even Kagetoki."

Upon the nod, she began to speak.

"Is this not very dangerous?" Tamako immediately said in great alarm. "What chichiue is actually doing. I have heard of such a story before, and they never ended up with a good ending."

"But I think chichiue has not succeeded yet. I don't think that this being has decided to do anything for him." Masako pointed out before she recalled the last part of the incident. "Tamako, I am going to fulfil my promise."

"That is too dangerous!" Tamako said with an even greater concern. "Right now, that being is probably harmless due to where it is, but if you actually take it outside!"

"I know it can be dangerous." Masako admitted. "However, I do not think that she lied to me. I think she really just want to talk to Yoritomo-dono."

"Aneue, I do not think that this is a good idea. Kagetoki has told me about how people agree to such a thing for spirits only to end up being possessed or exhausted to death."

"I know that it is dangerous. I am not stupid." Masako said steadily. "However, I decided to do it. But Tamako, you do not need to come with me."

"If I didn't know about it, then I would be able to be ignorant. However, I do know about it."

* * *

In the end, Masako actually smuggled a bird to be the new body, while the initial body was drugged. Tamako followed her sister and their story would be that Masako ended up sleep walking.

"…are you sure that you want to come along?" Masako whispered. "It will not be very good if you are discovered. Tamako, you really don't have to come."

"I think I can manage to explain to Kagetoki." Tamako said. "I know that what I can do is limited, but I just don't like the idea of leaving you alone."

"You do not trust me, Tokimasa's second daughter." The being said mockingly.

"No, not at all." Tamako said without any hesitation. "How do I know that you would not just possess another's body?"

"Did you not hear what I told your sister? It is not that easy for me to find a host as they have to be slightly willing."

It was in the middle of the night, but not everyone was asleep. Therefore, Tamako often wonder whether they actually received some sort of aid in being able to arrive at their destination without any problem.

"What if the servants and guards here attack us?" Tamako hissed when her sister, who carried the bird, just walked right through the door.

"That would not happen." Dakiniten assured her.

However, it seemed that this did this not apply to the master of the house, because the moment Masako walked in the door, she found herself being pointed to by a katana, the blade merely a few spaces away from her throat.

"…I am merely here to talk to you." Masako said in a perfectly composed tone. "There is no need for you to attack me, and so there is no need for me to be afraid."

"But is coming to a stranger's room at such a time the proper action of two noble girls?" Yoritomo continued. He did not sheath his katana as he did not feel safe yet."

"I am not here to harm you, Minamoto no Yoritomo." The third member of the party said steadily. "I merely wish to talk to you."

Perhaps one of the goddess' ability was the fact that those who have faced her all quickly accepted her identity. But then, it could be because that there was such a strange and strong presence that one could only accept it.

"I have watched you since you came here…I wish to ask you a question." The goddess said. "What is it that you want? No, that is not good…what is it that you dream of?"

"Are they not the same thing?" Yoritomo said simply.

"To you, yes. To others, no. I do not wish to harm these two girls who have assisted me. Therefore, what is it that you dream of?"

Dreams could be a fantasy, but want was a reality.

"I do not think that you wish to spend the rest your life like this, yet I do not see you doing anything." Dakiniten continued.

"…if I seek immediately action then this dream will remain a dream. But as for what you said…the answer is 'of course not'."

"What is your dream then?" not only did Dakiten speak, so did Masako.

"…a new kingdom. It will be a different kingdom. A fair one based on abilities instead of relations."

"And avenge yourself on those who killed your father by taking away the kingdom of those that killed your father?" Dakiniten continued.

"That would not be bad." Yoritomo admitted. "But my main dream would not be that. It would be the creation of that new kingdom."

"I would like to see that." Masako said with great enthusiasm.

At this, Tamako finally spoke for the first time since she entered.

"If it is you, Yoritomo-dono, then I think it might very well come true." She said softly. "However…"

"However?" Yortimo asked.

"That is what scares me, the fact that you will probably be able to achieve it."

"Of course, to achieve this dream is no easy thing." Dakiniten said in agreement. "There is much that you will have to do. However, it seems that you can."

Much to Tamako's great surprise and relief, nothing happened afterward. Dakiniten really allowed them to take her back, where she went back to the body of that dog.

"This will be our secret." Masako declared out.

Tamako nodded and she did hold to her words. She was relieved that this seemed to be all. Even though Masako still secretly met with Yoritomo now and then, with her being an accomplice, she did not seem to approach the foreign being.

Tamako was naturally worried but what could she do? She could not talk to anyone about it, and this was not just due to the promise that she made. It was also because she felt that there was no use.

Beside…surely their father knew what he was doing.

She was worried, that was true, but like many in her situation, she decided to solve her problem by ignoring it.

Soon, she was distracted by other things

"Aneue, why do you keep on visiting Yoritomo-dono when we are not even meant to have seen him?" Tamako pointed out after a very close escape. "Is it because you are in love?"

"I…I am not sure whether I am in love. I am still not sure. However, I know that I really want to talk to him and be in his company. When he talks about his dreams, I can see them coming true. Is this what you feel with your fiancé?"

"I think it is different as Kagetoki is a very different type of person." Tamako reasoned out. "But aneue, if he is talking about his dreams with you, then he must regard you as quite special."

At this, her sister actually blushed.

"But it is just that he is so different from everyone else here!" Masako said in a surprisingly girlish way. "Do you not think so?"

"I agree with you. But aneue, what are you going to do when chichiue discovers this?"

Tamako was sure that Masako knew the truth much better then her.

"…I will come up with a plan then." Masako declared out. Her tone indicated that this was final.

At this, Tamako thought that maybe her sister was in love. Who else other then the lovers would be so foolish?


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_"I didn't even so much as know loneliness_

_That's how I think of me at that time_

_A sigh-stained, short summer night I've lived, haven't I?"_

_~ (__夏という光の泡沫__)_

Spring has come and the sakura was in full bloom. As Kunihira watched the sakura and feasted with his family, he could not help but to think of the year before, and the year before that year.

The first time he had done so in Kyo was with Yasuhira's maternal family, and that had been a very formal event. That was also before Eriko decided to give up on him. Therefore, he had to spend much of the time in her company. He actually did quite well due to the urgent waka lesson that Kagetoki had gave him. In fact, his friend was even generous enough to let him use the waka that he had written for Tamako.

However, Kunihria did not really enjoy it and that was probably because he wanted to be with his two friends.

Tamako actually expressed a similar complain as well. She had to go with the household she was staying and she claimed that instead of observing sakura, it broke down into a fight between the two ladies of the household. The maids were forced to help as the two ladies were even tearing at each other's hair and clothes.

Kagetoki's experience was much happier as he went with some of his following students. However, he said that it did get a bit tiring since he had to make sure that the younger student did not get too out of hand with their drinking. The strangest thing, he complained, was that he was in charge.

As a result, the three of them decided to observe the sakura together the next year in order to create a happy memory. Now that he recalled the day, he remembered how both he and Kagetoki had been rather shocked when Tamako appeared. She had deliberately dressed up in her best clothes, and even made up her face.

"Does this look really strange?" she asked consciously.

"No, of course not!" they both protested, but it was Kagetoki that succeeded in assuring her.

At this, Kunihira sighed, was this always going to be his reminiscence? To remember how Tamako regard Kagetoki as more important?

If he continued thinking, then it would be so much worse. After all, the other time when the three of them watched the sakura together had been the last time that they met. But in addition, it had been when he realised what he felt. Yet at the same time, that was when Tamako seemed to realise her own feeling for Kagetoki. Even though she did not specifically express is, her letter revealed her feelings very well.

Perhaps Kagetoki did the very same.

"…very honoured that you invited us." Someone was saying and this brought Kunihira out of his sudden reverie.

It was their recent guest: Minamoto no Kurou Yoshitsune and his companion, Musashibo Benkei. The two young men had arrived in Oushu a few weeks ago and while Benkei's reason was very easy- he regarded Kurou as a very important friend, Kurou's decision was not even visible to himself.

"I know that I wish to leave Kyo- it is not safe for me in Kyo." The young man, who was barely a man instead of a boy, admitted. "But I do no know why I choose Oushu. Perhaps it is because Oushu is exempt from the current situation."

"That is true. I have no intention of gaining influence outside oushu." Hidehira admitted. "However…if I allow you to be my guest, then it would be regarded as a sign."

"But surely the Heike would not dare to use this as an excuse to invade us." Yasuhira pointed out. "I do not believe that they have the ability to do anything to us. It will make them loose too much."

"It is too much that the Heike will decide who will be our guests!" Kunihira said at the same time.

The two brothers were actually thinking of the same thing, yet their logic was rather different.

"You two are both right." Hidehira agreed. "The action will be noticed by the Heike but they would not do anything about it. Nor am I a man who would let others affect my decision. Therefore, I welcome you two to Hiraizumi."

Their father later spent some time with these two and he fond them, especially Kurou, very likeable. Kunihira felt the same too. If he was honest, then he would admit that Kurou was probably the type of brother that he would like to have. One he could ride and practice weaponry with, as well as one who obviously enjoyed his company.

Benkei was different because he seemed to prefer reading, as well as studying herb lore. However, he was different from Yasuhira by being a skilled fighter when he chooses to be.

Most of all, he did not have Yasuhira's problem: he did not speak in a way that made you feel as if he thought lowly of you and cannot be bothered to have anything to do with you."

"There is no need for you to be so formal with me." Hidehira assured them.

"Kurou-dono, I am glad to see you here." Kunihira greeted the other enthusiastically, as he really was glad of their company.

"Kunihira-dono! If it is possible then I would like to have another match with you." Kurou said.

Kurou's swordsmanship was almost regarded as legendary by many, and there were rumours of how he was taught by a divine being.

"Sensei is human, but he is an amazing person." Kurou had said with great admiration in his voice, before he expressed his great regret of having his lessons stopped due to his departure.

However, Kunihira was very good at weaponry as well, which was why this possibility was met with many excitement. Many began to debate about who would win this time, and some were actually laying bets.

"I think you will perform very well." Hideihira told Kurou heartily before he added the following. "However, I will stand by my son."

"I will stand with Kurou then." Benkei decided as he placed a very suitable portion. This set the setting of this being a good hearted game.

"What of you, Yasuhira?" Hideihira said to his other son. "Who do you plan to bet on?"

"…why is there a swordfight when we are observing the sakura?" Yasuhria said bluntly and his words actually caused some muttering of how the young man was too much affected by his time in Kyo. After all, Hiraizumi was very proud of their fighting ability even though it had been a long time since they actually had an actual war.

"However," Yasuhira suddenly added, "If I must choose I will say that Kurou-dono would win."

Luckily for Yasuhira, Kurou had become fairly popular amidst the bushi.

"…you won't stand with your own brother?" Kunihira protested, but he was careful to make sure that his words were light. After all, this was something that could be easily misinterpreted.

"That has nothing to do with who would win." Yasuhira said bluntly.

At that moment, Kunihira suddenly had an urge of hitting his brother with the butt of his sword.

* * *

The match was certainly a very exciting one and many more begs and wagers were laid. In the end, they winners were naturally happy, but the losers were not completely upset as they felt that they had seen something very worthwhile.

The winner was Kurou.

"You were right, Yasuhira." Kunihira admitted. "But how did you know? It was a very even match, and you do not seem to know Kurou's swordsmanship that well."

"Not doing it is not the same as not knowing it." Yasuhira said, his voice slightly scornful. "But I feel that Kurou-dono will win because he is really serious about it. Unlike you, he really wants to win."

"I wished to win too!" Kunihira immediately protested.

"You wanted to win, but this is just a practice match. To Kurou-dono, he might very well be in an actual battle." At this, Yasuhira shrugged. "I thought he was rather like you before, but I think he is rather different from you."

At that moment, Kurou approached them.

"Kunihira-dono, that was one of the best matches I have had." Kurou said very sincerely.

"It has been a long time since I have had such a good match." Kunihira said in agreement.

"Yasuhira-dono, I will one day like to have a match with you…" Kurou began, after all, he has not been here that long."

"Kurou-dono, surely you have heard of this by now. I am different from my brother in that aspect." Yasuhira said simply.

"But this is very important." Kurou pointed out.

"It is important, but not the most important." Yasuhria answered steadily. "I have learnt the level that I need to learn."

"Yasuhira-dono, you will be the future leader of Hiraizumi, so is this not extremely important for you?"

"A general is not always the one who need to be the best swordsman. Rather, he needs to be one who can utilise his men."

"Surely a general need to fight alongside his man."

"Yes, but he does not have to fight the best, what he should be doing is to make plans and ensure that the battle will be won."

The debate would have continued if Kunihira didn't suddenly start to laugh.

"Yasuhira, this is the first time I have seen you like this." Kunihria said this between his chuckling. "You two remind me of Kagetoki and I, Tamako often say that we would behave like two children."

"I am thirteen years old!" Yasuhira immediately retorted back.

"Thirteen years old is not an age of being children!" Kurou agreed at the same time.

Kunihira was surprised because this was one of the rare times his brother actually tried to explain himself. However, now that he thought about it, Yasuhira actually seemed to get on quite well with the other in his own way.

Although that 'in his own way' was quite important. (1)

"Kagetoki and Tamako are my friends from Kyo." Kunihira quickly explained upon seeing the questions. That was the first time that Kurou heard the name Kagetoki, which would later have a very great impact on him. However, for now, it was merely an unknown name.

"I heard that you and Yasuhira-dono both stayed in Kyo for a while." Kurou began.

This allowed them to talk about it and that was what they were talking about until Kunihira suddenly excused himself. This might result in some problems as it was mainly Kunihira and Kurou who did most of the talking.

"Yasuhira-dono, I really think that you have a very good elder brother." Kurou said, and there was envy in his voice.

"…is that so? Aniue is not a bad brother, that is true. However…" at this, Yasuhira shrugged. "But the man who accompanies you, does he not seem like an elder brother to you?"

"You mean Benkei? This is true. However, I still desire to meet my real aniue." Kurou explained. "After all, his is my brother."

For someone who never knew his father and parted with his mother at a very young age, the possibility of him having a family member then made that person very precious. However, this then run the risk of making the person too idealised. Which was what Yasuhira pointed out.

"Perhaps," Kurou admitted reluctantly. "However, I would still really like to meet aniue, although I do not think that this would be possible. "Benkei told me that if I go to where aniue is, then this would be seen as sign of rebellion."

"Minamoto no Yoritomo… I heard that he is in Izu." At this, Yasuhria frowned slightly, what was it about Izu that he should recall.

Once or twice, he might have heard that one of his brother's friends was from Izu and belonged into the Hōjō family. However, he did not connect that with the exiled Yoritomo. After all, Tamako was just someone that his brother happened to have mentioned once or twice. He did not know her last name was Hōjō, or her father was actually the man who was meant to be supervising Yoritomo.

Although he never thought that this mattered when he did find out. As Kurou himself actually admitted, it was simply not possible for him to go to Izu.

"Why do you want to see him so much just because he is your brother?" Yasuhira asked and he was thinking of how his brother actually specifically went to find him on the first day that he was in Kyo.

"Because he is my brother." Kurou said once again.

"But how do you know that your brother would think the same way?" Yasuhria said and even though he did not point it out, his mere presence was actually a reminder of his own opinion.

"Maybe not the exact same way, but because he is my brother, I believe that there would be a bond. Even though aniue is quite some years older then me, I still believe that we would be affectionate toward the other. Perhaps it would be like Shigemori-dono with Tomomori-dono and Shigehira-dono."

"…Shigemori? Taira no Shigemori?"

"When I was very small, I used to spend time in the Taira household." Kurou explained before he added. "Although that was a very long time ago. But I used to play with Tomomori-dono and Shigehira -dono." (2)

They had almost been like brothers to him, and he was sure that they could have been like Benkei and him, had he been able to remain there. However, now they were just a name in the past, as he doubts that he could recognise either brothers if they walked right past him. (3)

"…do you miss the Heike?" Yasuhira suddenly said, and there was no little surprise in his voice.

It was true that there was no need for Kurou to hate the Heike for his family's downfall, yet the same logic meant that he did not need to feel desperately grateful towards the Heike for having spared his life and looked after him.

"…at one time, I thought that they were my family so I missed that."

All of a sudden, Yasuhira felt a strange sympathy for the other. Like him, Kurou seemed to have left something he cared for without understanding it. Yet unlike him, he did not have the certainty of being able to return to it. For the first time, Yasuhira considered what it would be like if he did not have the certainty of knowing that he could be able to go back to Hiraizumi.

If he put it that way…then he could feel a bit sorry for the other. In addition, there was also the irony that he was missing what he should not miss.

"You are a strange person." Yasuhira suddenly said.

However, Kurou was strange not in the way that most people would thought strange meant. By strange, Yasuhira was not really referring to Kurou himself, but the affect Kurou seemed to have.

Yasuhria has never wanted people's approval because he knew when he was right and wrong most of the time, and this was actually a cause of him being aloof. It was not that he actually wished for Kurou's approval, but he actually wanted to know about the other a bit more. No, it might not be that, it might simply just be the desire of spending time with the other person.

Was this not the explanation that his brother once gave in regard to why he chooses to spend time with these two people that he described as his 'very important friends'?

But Yasuhira thought that Kurou was also strange due to Kurou's friends. The fact that Kurou and Kunihira were friends did not surprise him, since he felt that there was some similarity between the two of them. However, he was rather surprised at Benkei being a very good friend of Kurou.

Benkei was clearly very different and there were times when Benkei was actually exasperated with Kurou. Yet these two were clearly good friends.

Perhaps the reason that he felt curious was because he although that one would have to be rather similar with their good friends, which was what his brother showed.

However, Kurou actually showed that the opposite was actually possible.

After all, Yasuhira was the opposite of Kurou.

A main cause of problems between Yasuhira and those that swore loyalty to his father was due to Yasuhira's method of spending his days. His elder brother tended to spend his time outdoors by practicing weaponry and riding, which naturally made him have many interactions with the bushi. In addition, Kunihira was very down to earth with them. Yasuhira was the very opposite- he preferred studying in his room and on the occasions when he was searching for books; his rather aloof manners prevented him from having the allies he might have gained.

"I see no need for me to proof that I can ride when I can." Yasuhira had said in reply to his brother's suggestions and offer. "I also feel that those who refuse to believe that I can do something just because they do not see it, are more then a little foolish."

Yasuhira was at the stables and he was just about to leave when his brother came.

"Are you going?" Kunihira asked in a very friendly fashion, although he actually didn't give his brother anytime to answer, as he knew what the result would be. "It is a shame as I am going riding with Kurou-dono and Benkei-dono."

"…I will come."

"I thought so, but it is a pity as…" Kunihira began before he realised what his brother actually just said. "Yasuhira…you agreed?"

"I said that I will come."

As a result, the small partly amounted to four people instead of three.

Benkei merely gave a polite nod upon seeing the additional member, but Kurou actually greeted Yasuhira with real enthusiasm.

Yasuhira could ride a horse fairly well, but that excluded the skills that related to fighting.

"I don't need to do so." Yasuhira said simply, when this caused whisper of this being another proof of his shortfall- some suggested that he made sure that he ride really well in order to escape instead of fighting.

In the beginning, the ride was enjoyable but uneventful. However, this would change when one of their members suddenly disappeared.

"Benkei! Benkei!" Kurou began to yell, which irritated Yasuhira since Kurou happened to be doing so right beside him.

"Can you not be a bit quieter?" Yasuhira said. "He probably just lagged behind."

"But what if something happened to him?" Kurou said with great concern.

"How old do you think he is?" Yasuhira said dryly. "Besides, the two of you are my father's guest, so no one would dare to attack him. If there is actually someone stupid enough to attack on of you, then it is most likely to be you instead of him."

"Yasuhira, that is not helpful right now." his elder brother interrupted.

"I am trying to point out that there is no point for Kurou-dono to worry." Yasuhira defended himself.

"Even though Yasuhira was a bit blunt, he is right." Kunihira began. "Kurou-dono, I am sure that Benkei-dono is perfectly fine."

"That is probably true but… I would still like to know what happened to him." Kurou began.

After all, this was before they discovered that Benkei would actually do this quite often.

"Then I will ride back and find him." Kunihira decided. "I know the area best."

"Very well, this is the best idea." Kurou conceded.

As Kunihira rode away, a silence appeared between the remaining young men. They were certainly a great contrast- Kurou was feeling rather uneasy and this obviously reflected on his horse, which was trying to continue walking forward. Yasuhira, on the other hand, was almost immobile.

"There is no need for you to worry." Yasuhira said in irritation while Kurou yelled out: "How can you not worry at all?"

The answer for Yasuhira was quite simple: First of all, he was fully certain that nothing actually happened. Secondly, why should he worry about someone that he hardly knew?

However, he actually swallowed the second part of the answer back. It was good that he did because Kurou would definitely have reacted to that.

Which would have been pointless, especially when Kunihira came back with Benkei.

"Benkei-dono, next time you have a sudden desire to pick some herbs, then please first inform us." Kunihira was saying.

"There is no need to worry at all in the first place." Benkei protested. "Surely you know that nothing would happen.

As they continued their ride, Yasuhira actually found himself thinking about what had actually happened. It was, he thought, quite foolish, the agitation that Kurou had shown over such unreasonable presumption.

But so? What of it? How should he make of this foolishness? How should he think of this person who displayed this trait, who was the exact opposite of him?

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1)__This__ is pretty much what I feel in regard to this fan fiction- the relationship of Yasuhira and Rurihime._

_(2)__ This idea was taken from the NHK drama. At one stage, Kurou would say that they really were like his brothers._

_(3)__ This is partly to show irony, but to also explain why Kurou didn't recognise Shirogane_.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

_"Our clothes that flow in the wind are like the flowers whirling_

_There is nothing for us to fear now that we are joined"_

_(__初嵐の眩暈をお前と__)_

The letter bore the good news of a reunion, but it was also the order of how Kagetoki had to return to Kamakura and began the duties of one who would one day be the head of the family. Kagetoki would start to serve the man that his father has served. A man with fairly great power, as he had a rather strong connection with the Heike family.

There was no room for any argument. After all, he was not sent here to become an onmyōji, he was just sent here to learn some new skills.

Kagetoki sighed again, as he was very reluctant at leaving Kyo. It was partly due to the fact that there was no great pressure or expectation here, as well as the fact that he enjoyed being in Kyo. The waka and the mixture of incense were the little pleasures of life that he would have to give up upon leaving here.

"…for you to settle down." The next page of the letter immediately caught his attention and he realised that the preaching and lecturing seemed to be limited to the first page, so he needed not feel reluctant in continuing reading the letter.

His father told him that it was time for him and Tamako to marry as this was part of the plan of making him carry out the duties that were necessary.

"…I have written to Hōjō Tokimasa and he agrees. You will go to Izu and you will spend the three nights in the Hōjō household. After the feast with the Hōjō family, you two will return to Kamakura."

This actually cheered Kagetoki up considerably. He had to play the voice of reason with Tamako but the truth was that he had been really reluctant in having her leave him. It was strange, but he feels that he could face everything if she was right beside him.

Yet it was funny, because she did distract him as well.

When he realised what would happen, he immediately thought of his closest friend, who remained so. Just as he wrote to Tamako and his family, he continued to write to Kunihira. If he and Tamako were going to be married, then surely Kunihira should know about it, and surely he should be attending the feast on the third night! He was sure that Tamako would agree with him.

Kagetoki began to write a letter about this immediately, as he wanted it to be delivered as fast as it could. However, he suddenly paused- would this really be alright? Him inviting the other given that it was not his house or family that were involved.

But surely Tamako would be doing the same, he reasoned. And it might be too late if he asks her to mention this.

That, he admitted to himself, was part of the problem. He often hesitate so much that he ended up not making the choice. (1)

This was a mistake that he would not allow himself to make, because he knew that he would not forgive himself for it.

Taking his pen, he continued to write.

After he wrote the letter, he informed his teacher of his actions.

"…is that so? "That will be a great pity." the onmyōji said with true sincerity. "It would be a pity in many ways."

"I am glad to have earned your approval, sensei, but…" the exact same master had once spent a long time in yelling at him due to an accident that caused his spell to backfire in a very bad way.

"Everyone makes mistakes." The issue was waved aside as if it was only a small matter. "But you have great potential…if you study harder instead of just giving up due to thinking that you are not able to do it, then you can end up being a very good onmyōji."

"…I will still study onmyōdō in my spare time." Kagetoki said with a formal bow.

"…you are my second student that leaves before they finished training when they could have completed the training and become a very skilled onmyōji. You are the second…Yasuhira-dono is the first."

"Sensei, you do me great honour by comparing me to Yasuhira-dono, as I am nowhere his level." This was said with a very cheerful laugh, which they all have heard quite often.

"You are different from him, that is true, and that is why I will actually miss you as my student. Although," this was said with a rather dry tone. "I will certainly be relieved at not having to hide away any possible items that you will want to play with."

After the teacher, it was naturally the classmates and following students. Kagetoki was actually really surprised at the warmth behind some of their farewell. Without noticing it himself, Kagetoki was actually rather popular. But then, he was cheerful and helpful, as well as being willing to talk easily.

But then, his onmyōji skills were much better then his bushi skills.

* * *

The letter that Kunihira received were both sent with joy and neither of the writers once thought that the receiver would have any other emotion then joy. Tamako actually wrote to him as soon as she heard the news from her father, expression a wish of him coming to the celebration. She wished for him to come because he was her friend, in addition to being Kagetoki's best friend. She actually predicted Kagetoki's wish and invitation.

However, Kunihira received the letter with a rather mixed state of emotion.

Contrary to what he had hoped, what he felt for Tamako did not change. He knew this because he dreaded and anticipated her letters. They were precious because they were finally words that were for him alone, yet there were many times when she would mention Kagetoki.

Similarly, it could be bitter to read Kagetoki complaining about how much he missed Tamako, despite Kunihira being happy at receiving words from his best friend. He knew this for certain now.

Yet Kagetoki was also Tamako's fiancé, and now he would soon be her husband.

Did he wish to go to the feast that would be held at the day after the third night that the couple spend together, where they would officially be recognised as a married couple?

He wished to go as he wished to celebrate with his two friends, yet he did not wish to go at the same time. After all, it would be a reminder of how Tamako was finally going to be gone forever.

Yet had that not been the case all along? He met Tamako after he met Kagetoki. Tamako was introduced to him as Kagetoki's fiancé.

That was the main reason of his misery: not so much that she would not love him, but that he should not love her, even though he should love her. He must love her as a friend, not as a lover.

He could not make up an excuse of not going, as he would never be able to forgive himself. And he did not want to see his friends again, so it should not be that bad.

No, you want to see them, but not the two of them together, he admitted grimly.

Once more- he found himself wishing that he had never ended up falling in love with her. Not only did this emotion bring him so much pain, it ruined the friendship that was once so precious to him.

However, he was not a coward and he would not be weak by not going to the celebration that both his friends wished for him to attend.

He would smile and wish them happiness, and it would not be insincere as he did wish for it, and he has seen how happy these two were when they were together.

"I will go to Izu." He declared out to himself.

Maybe, although it was something that sounded pitiful even as he thought of it, he would finally be able to give up if he sees them married.

* * *

When Tamako was summoned to see her father, she was actually rather nervous due to the fear that he has suspected something about Masako's actions. The fact that her father asked her sister to come along made her even more nervous.

"…I received a letter from Kajiwara Kagekiyo today." Tokimasa began. "He would like you and his son to marry soon."

Her surprise was so great that her father had to repeat what he just said.

"Really?" she finally asked. "I…I will be very happy about this."

The truth is that she was overjoyed. She would naturally miss Izu and her family, especially her beloved sister. However, the joy of seeing Kagetoki actually made the scale tip in the marriage's favour. In addition, she felt that she would be much more at ease when she leave here, as she would no longer need to worry about her father or sister might do. She would still worry, but it would not be that bad if she was not here. Besides, being with Kagetoki always made her relaxed.

The reason that this marriage was arranged was because the two families were at a similar position at that time. The fact that both sides were willing made everything so much easier.

"…chichiue, I have a small request." Tamako suddenly said. "There is someone I would like to invite to Izu as a guest. I am sure that Kagetoki would desire this."

"And who is this guest?"

"Fujiwara no Kunihira, he is…Kagetoki's very good friend." Without knowing why, she deliberately omitted the fact that she regarded him as a good friend too. Was it because she already foresees the possibility of her father's actions?

She was lucky that she wished to marry Kagetoki, because she would have had to even if she disliked him.

"Fujiwara no Kunihira…the son of Fujiwara no Hidehira?" Tokimasa examined out in surprise. "This is certainly interesting information. Tamako, do you know him well then?"

She smiled and shook her head even as she apologised to Kunihira in her head.

"I met him a few times, but that is it." She lied before she decided to improve her lies by adding: "We actually did not get on that well with each other since we both demand Kagetoki's attention. However, I know that Kagetoki would definitely want him to come."

That, she hoped, would dismiss any absurd thought her father might have, as well as making Kagetoki all the more suitable.

"He can stay in our house as an honoured guest if he wishes to." Tokimasa was sure that his daughter did not tell the truth because he doubt that she would be asking an invitation so graciously if she did not like the one in question. Although her worry was rather amusing, as he would not break the certainty for a mere possibility. After all, he was a very cautious man.

Even if he could marry her into the Oushu no Fujiwarashi, there would be little use of doing so if she did not do anything to help the family.

"…Tamako, you will have your marriage." Tokimasa said and his eyes then rested on the elder daughter. What should he do with this one? She did not lack suitors, yet she had refused every single one. It was just as well that he agreed with her. However, she seemed to show no interest in any men.

Unlike Tamako, he expected more from Masako and that made it all the more difficult. He could not help but to wish that she had been a son.

However, his eldest daughter was not thinking of herself at all. Masako could tell how happy her sister was, and she was therefore happy on Tamako's behalf, even though she was a bit regretful at how her sister would soon be leaving them. It would probably be a very long time before they would next meet. They had been parted for quite sometime, and her sister had only been back for a year. Yet it would be time to say goodbye again.

"And you will be living with your husband." Tokimasa concluded.

This was what most do now, especially one of their family.

* * *

That night, Tamako was trying on all of her kimono even as she arranged her hair and the hair accessory. She wished to appear beautiful to the one who she has not seen for a whole year.

"You will be very beautiful." Masako assured her before she said: "Come and sit beside me, so we can talk."

Their house was large enough for them to have a separate room, but they often ended up being in the other's room. There were even times when they talked into the late night that they ended up falling asleep.

"…Tamako, what does it feel like?" Masako asked after her sister obeyed her wish. Even though Tamako was now in her sleep attire with her hair loose, she was still holding onto that hair accessory very tightly.

"I want to get married to be with Kagetoki." Tamako said simply. "But as for what I feel…I am really excited and happy at seeing him and going to live with him from now on. Although I am quite sad at leaving here too. I will miss aneue very much." At this, she used her free hand to squeeze Masako's hand. "But I will write to you."

"I hope your letters will be longer now, since chichiue would not be making the rules." Masako pointed out, referring to the warnings and restrictions that Tokimasa had gave when she went to Kyo.

"But aneue, you will be meeting Kagetoki soon, I hope you will like him." Tamako said shyly.

"You speak as if your marriage will not take place if I do not like him!" Masako protested.

"I don't mean it that way, but you are my dear sister, so I really hope that you will like him. Oh, you will be meeting Kunihira too. Don't tell chichiue this, but Kunihira is my friend too."

Tamako suddenly recalled how quite sometime ago, when she actually asked Kunihira whether he might consider Masako as a possible candidate as a wife. Perhaps this was not completely impossible since they will probably be meeting soon. She was sure that Kunihira would come, especially when Kagetoki wanted this too. (2)

"Aneue, Kunihira is the son of the leader of Hiraizumi, so wouldn't his wife be able to have quite some influence?" she began, suspecting that this was the definite way to get her sister's attention. "And he is a really nice person too."

"Tamako, are you like chichiue as well?" Masako protested. "Or do you think that I have to marry now if I actually do want to marry, which is what one of our stepsisters said."

"She has always been jealous of aneue, and just uses our mothers being different as a reason for her to not get on with us." Tamako immediately said, angry for her elder sister. "It is not because of that. But you are my aneue, and Kunihira is my good friend."

"Maybe I might like him, but I will need to meet him first, is this not so?" Masako said, and this was really said to pacify her sister, because she herself actually did not feel that this would not be possible.

"It is true that I want to be able to achieve something, but I also want to love my husband. You and I are alike in that way."

She then thought of Yoritomo once more- she was sure that he would be able to achieve something great and the truth was that she wished to see it too. It was true that she definitely felt admiration for him, but was this the love that her sister felt?

"…although I am really nervous too." Tamako's voice contained a slight worry and even fear, brought Masako out of her reverie.

"What is it?" Masako was actually very concerned and she even prepared herself for several possible disasters.

However, it was merely the fear that many girls have on their wedding- if they remained in the state that allowed them to worry about it. (3)

* * *

Kagetoki arrived first, but it would only be by a day. He actually felt quite nervous even as he told himself that there was no need to. After all, this was something that both he and Tamako wanted.

His father's intention was that he should go straight to Izu from Kyo, but due to his mother's insistence, he actually returned home first.

Much to his relief, his little sister was very glad to see him, even though she did not immediately recognise him.

They talked a bit and he told her about her future sister-in-law. The little girl listened to it all very seriously, before she gave what must be a nod of approval.

"I hope aniue will be happy." Saku told him sincerely before she accidentally said the following out aloud: "And I really hope that I will have someone who loves me that way too."

The trip was strange because even though he felt that he was not making any progress, he would reach certain destinations and be amazed at the progress that he has made.

When he arrived at the border of the land that Tokimasa ruled over, he was greeted by Munetoki.

"So you are Kajiwara Kagetoki. I welcome you to Izu on behalf of my father." The young man said formally before he laughed. "It is good that you are here as you can finally put Tamako as ease. She is really paranoid that something would happen to you. Ranging from a sudden fever to you being robbed."

It was true that Tamako was worried about him since travelling was not that safe in their time, but this was just to excuse her agitated status as being nervous and concerned for him.

"She is at this temple, most likely praying for you." Munetoki added.

Strangely, Kagetoki found himself temporarily setting side his nervousness due to his haste of finding her. He wishes to quickly put her at ease.

Tamako was at the entrance of the temple and she seemed to be unwell, as she was actually bending down with a rather distorted expression. Without thinking, Kagetoki ran to her and grabbed her hand.

"Tamako, are you alright?"

"Kage-toki?" she then embraced him very tightly, burying her face against his body.

"Tamako, are you really alright?" he whispered in great concern.

"Nothing is wrong with me…I was just…really worried. As a result, my stomach actually started to hurt." She admitted in embarrassment.

"That is why you shouldn't worry like this." he said with a chuckle due to his relief. He then noticed that there was anther person there.

Kagetoki's first impression of the one who would make his life rather difficult in the future was actually not unfavourable at all. Even though her expression stated that he would be sorry if he would ever dare to do anything that hurt Tamako, there was no reason for him to feel nervous.

"I am so glad to see you again." Tamako whispered before she kissed him. "I missed you so much."

"I really missed you too, Kyo was no longer so fun." He told her before he asked the following. "You will…be returning to Kamakura with me, right?"

"Why are you asking me that? Of course." Tamako said with some indignation in her voice. "We always decided to do so."

* * *

The custom was that the future husband would sneak into the bride's room for three consecutive nights. At the day after the third night, there will be a feast to celebrate the couple being married.

Tamako was naturally very nervous about what would take place despite having already talked to her stepmother to learn about what would happen.

"Don't look so nervous!" Kagetoki protested as he embraced her. "Is being married to me such a bad thing?"

"Of course not!" she quickly assured him.

"I managed to get here really easily…should I try to have a more dramatic exit? Should I climb out from your window?" he asked with a smile.

"Don't be silly! The truth is that everyone knows about you being here." She laughed out. "I don't think people are really expected to sneak in. I heard that when my aunt married, my father actually bumped right into her groom, and my father had to pretend that his eyes hurt."

She suddenly stopped as she found her soon-to-be husband looking at her with the expression that she now understood to be tenderness.

"I like seeing you smile and laugh." He told her as he took her hand. "Therefore, will your promise me to always smile and laugh? At the very least, to smile and laugh more then frowning and crying?"

"…if you are there with me." she decided as she closed the little distance between them. She then kissed him on the lips. However, the kiss was merely the beginning.

When her sister came to talk to her the next morning, she was very relieved.

"I was so stupid to worry." Tamako declared out. "Aneue, I am so happy."

"And I truly hope that you will continue to be happy." Despite what she would later do, Masako was completely sincere. If anyone told her about the events of the future, Masako would have either laughed at the absurdity, or be offended at what would be insults.

Tamako was at a dilemma of what she should do because she wanted to spend the days with her sister, yet she also wanted to show Izu to Kagetoki. Both were what she could only do now, as it would not be that easy for her to come back soon, even though Izu and Kamakura were quite close.

"We will go together." Masako said for her. "If Kagetoki-dono does not mind…" (4)

That was what they were doing when their other guest arrived.

"Kunihira!" Kagetoki ran forward to greet his friend happily, and it was returned in an equally warm manner as Kunihira was truly glad to see him.

Talking to Tamako, however, was a bit harder. He found it difficult to look at her due to what would have happened.

"But what is the meaning of your letter, Tamako?" he quickly seized this as a subject. "You say that I have to act as if I do not like you that much."

This actually turned out to be a rather useful excuse for him because he could transfer his strange behaviour and emotion to an act.

However, Masako could tell that this was not so. After all, she was one who knows the truth, as well as the one who was alone with the three of them when they did not need to pretend.

It was the way that he looked at Tamako…when her sister was not looking at him. Often, he would not look at her, yet his eyes would then follow her.

This man seemed cheerful, however, the key word was 'seemed'. Masako was sure that something was bothering him and it related to her sister.

Her first thought was, in a way, accurate, although the reasoning was wrong.

"…are you unhappy with my sister marrying your closest friend?" Masako asked bluntly, perhaps a bit worried that he might do something. Was the lies actually based on some sort of a fact?

"Of course not!" Kunihira immediately said. "Kagetoki and Tamako are really happy at this marriage."

"But why are you not fully happy then?" Masako pressed on. Luckily, he had prepared a suitable excuse.

"Maybe it is because I am selfish." He said with forced lightness. "They will marry and be together, but I will be left out. Our friendship will be really different now."

She might have believed him if she did not hear him refusing Kagetoki's offer of inviting him to Kamakura. Even though his wish of not wishing to intrude on them when they just got married was logical, this was something that the couple really wanted.

"Are you sure? It might be quite sometime before the three of us can meet again." Kagetoki was saying.

Kunihira made some excuse, he couldn't really remember what exactly he said, but he did say something.

The real reason was because this would be too much. It was already difficult enough seeing them together.

* * *

The farewell was naturally an emotional one due to the two sisters. Luckily, Kunihira would be accompanying them part of the way to, so they were prevented from that immediate farewell. Both Tamako and Kagetoki then decided that they would use this as an opportunity to convince Kunihira to stay in Kamakura for a while.

However, it did not work. Nor did Tamako's plan of letting him be a brother-in-law worked.

"Then it will have to be the next generation." Tamako declared out. "Our children and yours." (5)

"Why are you so eager for this?" Kunihira asked.

"Because you are a very special friend of mine, while Kagetoki regard you as his best friend. Therefore, isn't this more then natural?" Tamako reasoned out.

"I agree with Tamako." Kagetoki added. "But I am still not sure whether we want a son-in-law or a daughter-in-law."

"You two…shouldn't you be planning only after I marry?" Kunihira laughed out. "Kagetoki, you are as bad as Tamako."

At this, the other two exchanged a glance, and then smiled.

"Kagetoki has been a bit worried about you." Tamako said as she took hold of one of his hand, while she then placed the other hand in Kagetoki's. "No matter what happens, the three of us will always be friend, right?"

What else could he do but to nod? What else could he do other then to accept this?

"Maybe sometimes later…not necessary far away, I will visit Kamakura." Kunihira said hopefully._  
_

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) This is __definitely one of Kagetoki's characteristics._

_(2) This is to show despite everything, she still regard Kunihira as being Kagetokis' best friend. She thought Kagetoki is more important to him._

_(3) Initially, I thought Japan was quite proper and strict, especially in the past. However, it seems that Heian period were not that…strict. It seems such love affair before marriage is not that uncommon, and a woman does not need to be a virgin._

_(4) This was before Masako married Yoritomo, so she would not have regarded herself at being a very superior position. _

_(5) As the prologue and epilogue would show, this did happen. It is Kagetoki and Tamako's daughter, and Kunihira's son with Iwako._


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

_"I wonder, is there really a place for me somewhere?_

_'It is here' you told me with a smile."_

_~ (__ミルフィーユ__·__ドリーム__)_

A year has passed since Tamako's marriage and the Hōjō clan was now preparing for a second marriage. However, the atmosphere was completely different due to the bride.

The bride was Masako and this was not due to her choice at all. In fact, her family actually needed to keep her guarded in order to prevent her from escaping.

It was not that Masako did not wish to marry, she actually yearned to marry in the way that her sister once did. However, it was the groom that she was completely unhappy with.

Masako has talked to Yoritomo many more times, and she realised that she actually loved him. It was like what Tamako said: she just wishes to be with that person no matter what. In addition, because that was the type of person that she was in love with, she wished to help him with creating his vision.

The main problem, however, was that she was not sure of what he feels toward her. She knew that he does regard her as special, and he even praised her. However, did he care for her?

Unfortunately, she could no longer wait.

Careful as she was, her visit was still discovered by her stepmother, who interpreted her actions accurately. This could not do and to do Tokimasa credit, he actually tried to reason with her.

However, not only did Masako declared out that she will not heed their advice, she also said that if she marry, then her husband would only be Yoritomo.

Her family knew her well enough to realise the danger of the situation. She might very well choose to elope. Therefore, the safest way was to marry her off. The candidate was not ideal, but due to their current situation, this was the best that they could hope for.

"Why is chichiue so foolish?" Masako said angrily to Munetoki, who received the task of supervising her. "Our family would be able to do so much better I am allowed to be with Yoritomo-dono."

"Masako, are you mad? If we ally ourselves with a member of Genji…what would the Heike think? Kiyomori-dono would probably order us to be punished." Munetoki hissed. "Do you not know how powerful they are?"

"I know that Yoritomo-dono's vision would be true. We can benefit so much more by…"

"Masako! Do you not know how dangerous this type of talk is? No…how can you not know? Yet why do you entertain these mad thoughts?"

"Have you never thought of this before? We obey the Heike, but what do we actually get in return? You must have thought of this, even Tamako has."

At this, Munetoki could only give his head a quick nod. Even their sister who rarely thought about politics was a bit bitter at the treatment and rules so how could he, the future heir, not notice this?

"That is the way it is." He said bluntly, only to have her correct him: "No, it is only so if we choose to let it be so. I really believe that Yoritomo-dono can change this."

"Masako…give up." Munetoki decided. "You will be married tonight."

He could tell that she was not happy, but he was sure that he had no chance but to accept. She was much more stubborn and rebellious then Tamako, but surely even she would not be able to do anything.

* * *

The groom was a member of the Heishi who actually bore the last name of Taira. He also held an important position as well, with quite some power. If Yoritomo was not there, then perhaps Masako might have not minded the marriage as much.

However, because she has made up her mind, she refused to accept this.

"My eldest daughter is very spirited." Tokimasa said in warning. "And like many girls, they are often rather rebellious."

"You think that I will not be able to handle the situation?" the groom laughed out. He was feeling more then a little pleased as he was sure that this marriage would bring him many advantages.

Therefore, he drunk quite a lot and was too smug to be cautious.

Masako stood behind a draper that she has hung for this very purpose: her groom would have to raise it and when he did so…

She brought down the wooden bat she had stolen from the armoury quite sometimes ago. Much to her relief, the force was either right, or she hit a vital spot, as the man immediately collapsed. (1)

She did not know what Yoritomo would say upon seeing her and perhaps he would send her away. However, her decision was made: she would go and see him and ask him to let her stay by his side.

Her main focus now, however, was to escape.

She would climb out from the window…that was the plan she came up during her imprisonment here.

"…wait."

As soon as she heard the whisper, she raised her bat.

"…I will help you."

"You are…dakiniten?" since that day, she had stayed away from the family shrine, which was where the foreign goddess was.

"You are going to Yoritomo, are you not?" the goddess said as an answer. "You and I think in the same way."

"What do you mean?"

"We will both do all that we could for that person." Dakiniten said simply before she repeated: "I will help you. Come to where I am and I will help you."

Masako found herself automatically nodding and this was also because she knew that the other would do so. She could not explain, but she was sure that this was so. Therefore, she still walked to that room even though she should really be concentrating on her escape.

Yet she felt that she must go and talk to the divine being. She has to.

Perhaps the divine being was already helping her, because she managed to make her way there without any problems.

The host was still that body, except that it was almost dying.

"You said that you will help me." Masako said bluntly.

"That is so…because I wish to help him." This was said with full honestly. "You can understand that feeling, can you not?"

"Do you love him as well?"

"Yes." That one yes was enough.

"However…I cannot go to him as you can. Yet you cannot help him as I can. However…I have a way to let us both be with him."

At that moment, Masako actually understood her feelings so much more. She was jealous at this other being for loving the one that she love, yet she would take her as this would help Yoritomo despite this hurting her.

"If you will let me share your body…then the two of us will become a one person. We will have each other's memories and our two spirits will actually become a single entity. Therefore, we will become a single person."

"I do not really understand…" Masako said softly. "Even if you enter and use my body, wouldn't we still be two separate beings?"

"Not if you choose to surround your body willingly. That way, we will become a single entity as our soul and conscious will merge together. That way," the goddess promised, "We will be very powerful as soon as I recover, which will not take long. You will not be a mortal borrowing a goddess' power, nor will I be a goddess borrowing a mortal's body. There will be no restraint on our power." (2)

"But we will cease to exist even as if exist." Masako said thoughtfully. "But why will you do this?"

The question was asked for the sake of having a confirmation, as she already knows the answer.

"Because I love him too."

At this, Masako nodded.

"If I can be of great use to him, then I can be very happy." She whispered. "I am ready."

* * *

Ironically, just as her sister was facing a wedding, Tamako was actually involved in a funeral. Her father-in-law had passed away, although it had been a fairly peaceful release. The man had been able to say farewell to his family and he also told Tamako that he believed she helped his son to settle down.

The funeral was over and Kagetoki was with his wife. Now that he was alone with her, he felt that he could finally rest.

"I really don't know if I can be a good head of the family." Kagetoki confessed, and he actually has his head in her lap. "Despite the year…I still am not certain."

"You will be able to do it, you always end doing a really good job even though you will say that you cannot do it." Tamako comforted him. "But if you get too tired, then just give me a wink. That way, I would throw a tantrum which you would need to handle, which would allow you to be alone. That would let you be able to have a rest."

"I cannot let you do that!" Kagetoki protested, but this did make him smile. "But Tamako, did we not receive some letters today?"

"Yes, from Kunihira and my aneue. I will read Kunihira's letter out for you." she offered.

The letter was a rather general one, but it still made them feel a bit better since it was news from their very important friend.

The next letter, however, was very different.

"Aneue says that chichiue is going to make her marry." Tamako explained when Kagetoki commented on the rather long silence. "She also wrote that she refuse to marry. In aneue's case…she would probably do something dramatic if chichiue insists. After all, she is very different from me."

"Would you just agree to the marriage?"

"Probably…to tell the truth, I felt like that when we were engaged, before we met." She explained hastily. "However…I would have done something dramatic if I was forced to marry someone else after I realised how much I love you."

At that moment, Saku entered. Saku was ten years old now and she was a very mature and serious girl. Therefore, there were times when she found her brother's light heartedness a bit too much. However, her sister-in-law told her the following: "Let your brother rest the way that he want."

The relationship of the two sisters-in-law were pleasant, there was nothing that could cause it to be otherwise. In addition, Tamako was cheerful without being too light hearted.

"Aniue, Tamako-dono, there is a man who wishes to see Tamako-dono urgently. He just told me to hurry up and summon you." Saku said. "But I think he is your family as he just calls you 'Tamako'."

That person was clearly not very patient as they could hear him yelling out her name once more before Tamako even walked out of the house. However, this did help her to work out his identity.

"Aniue," Tamako began, but was interrupted by Munetoki, who said: "We don't have time for this. Chichiue says that I need to get you to Izu as fast as I can."

However, he was not able to just ride away as Kagetoki, who had followed Tamako out, quickly grabbed her to prevent her brother from just sweeping her onto the horse.

"Munetoki-dono, I am sure that there is a good reason, but I would like to know what it is before you take Tamako to Izu."

Munetoki was going to say that he lacked the time for this again, but upon seeing Kagetoki's expression, he suddenly stopped. He was not sure just what Kagetoki would do, but he knew that his brother-in-law would definitely do something.

"…perhaps we should talk inside." He decided. "However, I really do not have much time, Kagetoki-dono."

"I do not mean everything. I merely wish to know the main reason." Kagetoki added hastily.

"Masako is married." Munetoki began bluntly, making sure that his voice was in a low whisper.

"I received aneue's letter- she is not very happy about it. However, if she is married, then does this not mean that it is all well?"

"She did not marry the man that chichiue wanted her to marry." She knocked him unconscious with a bat and then ran out of the house to her lover…he is 'that person'. They have married and is taking refugee at the local shrine. None of us," Munetoki then added dryly. "Thought that she would do such a thing, yet none of us seemed much surprised."

"But why does chichiue want me in Izu?" Tamako asked lightly.

"Chichiue said this 'Masako obviously knows a lot more then anyone else and even though Tamako does not know as much, she still knows a lot'." Munetoki repeated. "And it is also because you might be the only one that Masako might talk to."

"You think she will listen to me after she hit someone with a bat until he is unconscious?" Tamako examined out.

"I agree with you, but chichiue wants you to go Izu."

"…I will." Tamako promised with a rather bitter smile. "I probably owe him that much."

"Tamako, do you actually know – " Munetoki began, but his sister interrupted him by rephrasing what their father had said: "Not as much as aneue, but more then the others."

Tamako was not fully certain, but she suspected that her father's anger was not just due to her sister's marriage. When she saw her father's face, she was sure that she was right. She actually hoped that her sister would not be back as she was concerned at what their father might actually do.

Her stepmother was beside her father and it seemed that the other did not know what happened, just like the eldest son. However, it seemed that this was no longer so.

"Tamako…your sister married Minamoto no Yoritomo." Tokimasa said flatly. "She also stole something with her. Do you know what it is?"

The fury in her father's voice did make Tamako seriously consider the option of lying. However, she was sure that he would discover this, and he would definitely be even angrier."

"Chichiue, I do not think that the foreign goddess could be stolen." Tamako said steadily. "I think she choose to go with aneue."

"What is this?" her stepmother demanded, and Tokimasa was then forced to explain what he did. However, this was probably once because he felt that they should know about it now.

The reactions were predictable.

"How could you not tell me?" and "Chichiue, is this not really dangerous?"

"Tamako, your sister ruined all my plans." Tokimasa continued steadily. "What do you have to say?"

"This has nothing to do with me!"

"But you clearly know a lot…what do you know?"

Due to her father's order, Tamako was forced to admit what happened- how Masako once took Dakiniten to Yoritomo, as well as she had helped Masako to meet Yoritomo.

"Tamako..." she expected her father to say something very cutting, but he did not.

This was because he chooses to slap her instead.

"Do you not have any idea about the idiocy of the situation? Surely even you know about the current situation!" he snapped. (3)

"…aneue wishes to meet him, and how could I stop her?" Tamako pointed out. "Besides, I did not realise that this would end up happening- it is too fantastical!"

"Did you even give this matter much thought? As always, you would only think about what interests you more." Tokimasa muttered darkly. "Can you tell me that you were not just thinking of your own situation, or your wedding? Yet whatever that could happen to you would be nothing compared to what your sister would end up doing."

"…you are right." Tamako admitted guiltily. "I did suspect that she was in love, but I did not really think about it."

She had been too distracted by thinking about herself. Perhaps she was the foolish lover who believed that everything would be alright as long as she was with her lover.

"Tamako-dono's involvement should not be our main concern right now." her stepmother stated. "It should be what we should do."

Right now, Masako and Yoritomo have taken refugee in a shrine, and they were protected by the monks there. Masako has declared out that she would not leave until Tokimasa accepted her marriage.

"Tamako, you are going to talk to your sister. Tell her that she is being very foolish and should come back." Tokimasa ordered his second daughter.

"Chichiue…aneue is not going to listen to me." Tamako repeated again before she suddenly frowned. "Chichiue…have you talked to Yoritomo-dono before? From that one meeting I had with him…I feel that he could succeed…even if the situation seems completely against him."

"One man alone can never do anything." Tokimasa said very grimly. "I do not doubt his abilities if he has enough support, but whether he would be able to get this is a gamble. The Genji itself are divided and split…not unlike the Heishi. However, even if he could get support, the Heike are still too powerful right now. Therefore, your sister's action is dangerous, because she is taking too much risk."

Tokimasa himself probably knew that Tamako would not have much of a chance in reasoning with his eldest daughter. However, he still wished for Tamako to do this due to a very important factor.

Masako actually agreed to talk to Tamako.

* * *

As she followed the monk to where the two were, Tamako was actually very agitated as she felt a sense of great uncertainty. Once more, she took the hair accessory Kagetoki had gave her out from her hair and pressed the kobushi flowers against her face, briefly comforted.

If he was here…

She did not know what she should say to her sister, and she actually though of various possibilities. However, she did not end up using any of them. (4)

"…who are you?" Tamako whispered.

This seemed a rather stupid question, but it was not so. The person sitting there was Masako, yet she was also not Masako. Tamako did not understand why, other then knowing that this was so. Later on, she would decide that it was due to the fact that they were sisters who were very close.

"We are us." The woman said with a smile before she changed to a singular verb. "I am still Hōjō Masako."

"I…I do not think so." Tamako said even as she sat down in front of the other." "You…feel different."

"Shall I say as to be expected of the sister who has seen both of us?" after this, she then explained what had happened.

"But you are not my sister anymore. My sister is Hōjō Masako alone. Not Hōjō Masako and this foreign divinity." Tamako declared out firmly.

If a person had all of the other person and their conscious as well, could they still remain the person that they were before?

To Tamako, the answer was no.

"I cannot think of you as my aneue." Tamako repeated. "Yet I admit that you are not just that foreign being."

Later on, she would describe this person as 'mitai-sama'.

"But I still regard you as my sister, because Hōjō Masako is still here." Was the reply. "But Tamako, you and your husband should join us. Yoritomo-dono is able to do great things."

"I do not wish for that…I wish to continue the life that I have. I do not want it to change." Tamako said firmly. "And I am sure that Kagetoki is the same. In addition…what you two achieve cannot be done so prettily. Since you have aneue's memories, then you will probably remember the incident in regard to our stepmother's half sister."

That had showed the two girls that what was right might not always be carried out in a way that is right.

"I don't know what will end up happening, although I am sure that you two would be successful, especially after what you have done. However, I wish to have nothing to do with any of it." Tamako declared out. "Aneue, you have chosen your path and I hope that you are happy."

It would be a very long time before Tamako spoke or address Masako as 'aneue'. Aneue would refer to the one before this.

"I say the same thing to you." Masako said honestly. "I hope that our worlds would remain separated."

It seems that they already realised that to meet again would not result in a happy meeting.

"There is only one thing…I would like to know this one thing." Tamako said very slowly. 'Who are you…rather, who were you?"

"Do you wish to know my name? Names are very powerful."

"I do not seek your name for that purpose, I merely wish to know. After all, my sister and you are now one being." Tamako said before she suddenly smiled. "I did not tell Kagetoki about what happened. I will keep my promise, I will keep this promise too."

"Very well." At that time, none of them realised that this was a very important action that would have a great impact in the future.

"Dakiniten."

Tamako believe that she could say that she kept her promise. After all, she never told Kagetoki. He would discover this himself. (5)

* * *

Tamako knew that the accusations from her father were right, because not only was she self-centred, she also refused to think too much. She was alarmed at whether the Heike might actually do something, yet she still chooses to return to Kamakura without considering all that might happen. She also knew that she would soon put her fear aside by believing that things were alright as long as there were no immediate actions happening.

Perhaps Yoritomo would not be regarded as a threat yet. Perhaps the Heike would not spare any concern for him. Perhaps this new being of Masako and Dakiniten would solve everything.

Perhaps…yes, that was what she relied her hopes on.

As she stepped into her home, the first thing she heard was Saku's protest of there being no need for her brother to do the washing without her sister-in-law.

"But I think it will be good if she can have all of her clothes clean! So she can wear whatever she wants!"

Tamako couldn't help but to smile. The truth was that Kagetoki had a great fondness for doing the laundry, yet he was very reluctant to admit this, even to his immediate family.

"I just really like the idea of how every piece of clothing can become really clean no matter what." Kagetoki said and he then added the following rather darkly: "I wish everything else can be so as well."

"Kagetoki- I am back." She called out softly and she was immediately embraced by him. However, this actually ended up trigging a very severe reaction from her.

She began to weep. After all- she regarded herself as having lost her beloved sister.

"Tell me what happened…" Kagetoki began as he guided her to the privacy of her room. "No, you don't need to tell me that if you do not want to." He quickly corrected himself. "Just tell me what it is that upsets you."

"…I lost my aneue." Was what Tamako finally said. At this, she actually tightened her hold. If it wasn't due to her current state, Kagetoki would have told her to let go as the grip was so tight that he almost felt chocked.

"Don't go away…please don't leave me." she whispered over and over again.

"I promise that I wouldn't." he reassured her by repeating this over and over again, as well as kissing her on the forehead.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) In one version, Tokimasa actually agreed to let Masako marry Yoritomo, or she just eloped, but in another version, this actually happened._

_(2) This is what I feel has happened in the game. Due to my lack of Japanese, I am not certain whether this is what happens. But the bit about Masako seem to suggest that she and Dakiniten has become one entity, although it seems that in most route, Dakiniten die, even though Masako will survive. Yet at the same time, I do not feel that Dakiniten is just dakiniten, I feel that Hojo Masako is still there. In Kurou's route, we actually have a flashback to the time that Masako went to find Yoritomo and I think she actually said that the two of them has decided to become one in order to help Yoritomo)._

_(3) Once again, Tokimasa's comment is meant to show how different Tamako is, and what she is like._

_(4) This was because Tamako prepared to talk to her sister, yet it was not her sister, but this new being._

_(5) Tamako was just referring to Kagetoki, and she never told Kagetoki, he found out himself. The one she told was actually Yasuhira._


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

_"Nimbly and swiftly making its way through the flowers' shadows, a lost butterfly_

_Descending to dance are your fare feet, like flower petals__."_

_~ (__満月の雫は媚薬__)_

In Kyo, the Heike was to reach the height of their power due to Taira no Tokuko giving birth to a son. At Izu, around the same time, Masako actually gave birth to a daughter. The arrival of this girl naturally did not cause such a great impact. However, to Masako, this was so much more important.

Not only was this daughter with the one that she loved so much, the arrival of her daughter finally made her father accept this marriage after a whole year. However, it might simply be that the Heike were so powerful that this did not matter at all.

There was to be a banquet in the palace that celebrated the reaching of a month by the infant that would later be Antoku. However, it was clearly that this would also be the celebration of the Heike and their triumph.

After all, it was going to be Taira no Koremori that danced in front of the royal family, and Taira no Tsunemasa that plays the biwa.(1)

This was a great honour, so Koremori was naturally extremely worried. Usually, he would share his concern with Tsunemasa, but it just happened that Tsunemasa was occupied with his own problems in addition to worrying about his younger brother, who would be attending this time.

As a result, he decided that he would quickly practice again. Due to his state of agitation, he naturally regarded that as the cause of feeling that he was being watched.

Upon stopping for a while, he suddenly heard loud clapping.

Hiding behind one of the large trees was a little girl. The first thing he actually noticed was her expression as she was almost looking at him in awe. He then noticed her clothes- they were extremely elaborate. Therefore, her parents would be someone extremely wealthy.

"I have heard of how good Taira no Koremori-dono is, but I have not managed to see you dance until then." Her chattering was very fast due to her excitement. "That was why I was so excited when Hahaue told me about the banquet. However, I didn't think that I could be so lucky as to be able to see you now. You really are amazing and I would really like to be able to dance as good as that, if I can, then I want to be able to dance with you when I grow up."

At this, she finally paused and Koremori then used this interval to ask her name.

"Rurihime." She said before she told him of her parent's name as well, and both of these names were rather well known

Her father was one of Goshikawa-houu's younger brothers, and therefore, this eleven years old girl was a princess in her own right. Her father was a prince, but he was the type to take little interest in politics. All of his concern seemed to be related to the arts- which he excelled in. As a result, he was not seen as a threat by his brother, who even talked to him of waka now and then.

Her mother had a reputation as well. Her mother was the child of one of the Fujiwarashi and a dancer. Many had said that to make a dancer into the keishitsu was the sign of a man in his dotage. As a result, the woman was determined to proof that she was very capable. (2)

She was successful because not only was she and her child both extremely accomplished, a prince even ended up making the daughter of a dancer into his seishitsu.

Another reason of their fame was due to their extreme beauty- which was increased by their husbands choosing them.

Rurihime was, so far, the only granddaughter just as her mother was the only daughter. She was very skilled in dancing and the other arts, and she also seemed to have great promise in her appearance.

She was very knowledge in dancing, and that was why Koremori actually found her company rather pleasant.

"Do you know of this dance?" Korimori suddenly said, as this was something that he was very fond of, yet it was something that only a few know.

"A little," the young girl said before she danced the first few steps. "Is this right?"

Regardless of the fact that he had to teach her the next steps, and the fact that she was much shorter then him, which meant that it did not really seem as if they were actually dancing together, Rurihime still regarded this as dancing with him, and it would be a very precious memory to her.

"…when I grow up, can I dance with you properly?" she whispered very shyly. "I will practice very hard with this dance."

As someone who was very fond of dancing himself, Koremori was naturally very pleased at this similar interest. Even though most of his family member around his age was taught the fine culture of Kyo, Shigehira was the only one who seemed to share his liking of this particular art. Tsunemasa was completely devoted to his biwa, while Tomomori was not a good example.

Besides, what harm would he do by indulging in this young girl?

"Of course," he promised her.

Then he did a rather impulsive thing.

He gave her the fan that he had- he did not know why, but he suddenly thought that this was a very suitable gift for her to have. After all, the fan depicted butterflies flying amidst some budding flowers.

She seemed to be like that.

"Koremori-dono!" Shigehira was not yelling as this was not elegant enough, but he was clearly in a slight rush. "Tsunemasa-dono is looking for you."

"I will come immediately." Koremori said before he left with a suitable farewell.

"Should I escort you?" Shigehira offered, but his charms were actually completely wasted because the little girl's attention was almost completely focused on Koremori.

At this time, Shigehira was in his teens, so he would look very different when he became Shirogane. Besides, she actually did not pay much attention to him.

* * *

Koremori's dancing was widely praised and if she could, Rurihime would have liked to walk up to him to congratulate him, which was what her father was doing. Her father was fairly skilled in dancing and there had been times when he danced with her mother. Like many children, Rurihime thought of her mother as very beautiful and wished to be like her mother. However, she thought that there was something very special about how her mother would turn to smile at her father, and she wished that she would be able to be like that.

Right now, she was still too little, but she wished to one day be in such a scene.

"Rurihime, did you enjoy the dance?" her father asked as he smiled at her with great affection. She was his only child and it was natural for him to be very fond of her, especially when he loved his wife so much. After all, she made him to truly be in love.

His little daughter did not say anything, but her expression conveyed it too clearly. She had her hands clasped together and her look was one of awe.

"Then that is well." He said simply. "However, it is time for you and your hahaue to retire."

"Why?" She immediately protested. "There is still quite some time."

"…are you sure?" her mother actually asked at the same time.

"I believe that this is best." Her father said and his tone was very firm. "I will speak to my own brother."

Many others were excusing themselves, so it was not hard for them.

"Hahaue, why do we have to go now?" Rurihime protested as the two of them began to walk to the part of the palace that they lived in.

"I am sure that your chichiue has his reason. Besides, did you not see Koremori-dono dance?" her mother said in her voice- which was rather soft and gentle.

"But there were other stuffs that I wanted to see." Rurihime protested, but she was then soon distracted by her mother discussing the dancing.

"I actually saw Koremori-dono dancing…practicing, and he is such a kind person!" the little girl whispered in wonder before she suddenly declared the following out: "I want to marry someone like Koremori-dono. I think such a person would be a bit like chichiue too."

"…Koremori-dono? But my dear child, your wish would not be able to come true as Koremori-dono is already married."

"I do not mean him exactly, I want someone like chichiue or Koremori-dono. Someone I can dance with and talk of these stuff." She said with a blush.

"I think that is important." Her mother said in agreement. "To have someone that can have the same interest as you."

A fact that she raised with her husband when they talked of their daughter's marriage. After all, they were of a very high status, so girls could and would marry at a younger age.

"It is true that Koremori-dono is married, but there are many other members of his family. Taira no Shigehira is quite artistic as well, and they are not very different in age."

"That boy is often surrounded by girls and I would not be surprised if he behaved like me." which meant that he would have many mistresses and lovers at the very least. "He is not suitable for her."

"Then there is Tomomori-dono." At this time, Tomomori merely appeared as a rather quiet child.

"But I do not think that he is really interested in the arts as she would desire…"

"Which is the very opposite of Shigehira-dono." His wife interrupted, "But that is not why, is it? It is the same as you making Rurihime leave at that time to prevent her from having to talk to Kiyomori-dono. Why is it that you are so reluctant to let our child marry into the Taira family?"

"…it is too dangerous." He finally said. "The truth is that aniue is not happy with them at all." He had numerous elder brothers, but aniue was like a code for the brother that had become the emperor. "I know aniue well enough to say this: if he feels that a flower is blooming too well, then he would find a way to destroy it, however well guarded and difficult it might be."

"Is the situation that bad?"

"Something will happen. I do not know when, but it is definite. I prefer to let her husband be someone far from Kyo."

"Do you have someone in mind?"

"A few, but it will not be that easy at our current situation." This was said with a very bitter laughter. "People would be more willing to marry one of Kiyomori-dono's daughter or even nieces instead of my daughter, even though I am a prince."

"And that is why you dislike them so much, even though they are the type of people that you would like." She said softly. "You see much more then what anyone else thinks. But then, most people think that you see nothing."

"If they were not climbing so high then I would have considered Rurihime marrying into the family. However, it should be them that plea for this, not I." a sneer accompanied this.

"Yet as you said, they are now at the height of their power. I have no doubt that Kiyomori-dono intend for his grandson to be the future emperor."

"But what one wish is not always what will be." He said with confidence." The Heike are like a flower that has bloomed to its very peak, but this merely means that it is time for the flower to wither. Even though I would be happy at seeing this, I do not wish for our daughter to be involved."

"Yes, you would not be very sorry if that is the case." His wife pointed out. "After all, I think you always have harboured dislike toward that nephew of yours due to his mother."

"I would naturally not blame someone for making the impossible even more impossible. However, there are many things that she can be blamed for."

"Yet you seem to be sincere at what you said to her when we attended that banquet held for her."

"I don't like her, but she has one redeeming quality that caused me to not dislike her that much." At his wife's questioning glance, he stated the following in a very matter of fact tone: "Despite her loyalty to her family, she does love my brother."

Unlike most others, it was clear that Taira no Shigeko regarded Goshikawa-houou's well being as something of great importance. For the interest of his brother, he truly wished for her to live a long life. (3)

However, this was something that he would only admit to his wife when they were alone. At their situation, to say such a thing would make him risk the possibility of being seen as one who supported the Heike family.

This was something he did not want to due to more then one reason.

More then one was actually personal.

* * *

The talk of the next day mainly consisted of the banquet yesterday and Rurihime and her family were no different. as Rurihime sat beside her mother and listened to waka being exchanged, she knew that many of these lines referred to it.

Unlike them, her father was much more direct. But then, this was because he was having a very private conversation with one who he was very close with.

Mochihito was the third son of Goshikawa-houou and he and this 'uncle' of his has always been very good friends. It was partly due to their similar love for art, in addition to being similar in age. (4)

"What do you make of last night's banquet?" Rurihime's father said bluntly as soon as they were alone. "I was a bit surprised that you attended without any protest."

At this, Mochihito smiled very bitterly. "And create another thing for that woman to use against me?"

"I can understand why you dislike her so much, but surely you know that you had little chance of being the crown prince?"

"Ultimately, it is the emperor who would decide- especially when my mothers' rank is not so low." Came the reply that had been said to many times.

Like many mothers, Taira no Shigeko wanted her son to be the heir to his father's inheritance. In most cases, this meant getting rid of his competitors. Shigeko did this by making Mochihito being disfavoured by the father that was once so fond of him.

His uncle could sympathises and even resent Shigeko with him because Goshikawa-houou once really did care for his third son very much, and it was not just fancy- which was quite common for him.

"I would be careful if I were you." unlike usual, it was Mochihito who said this. "Kiyomori-dono's sudden mentioning of Rurihime is too suspicious."

"Her mother told me that she saw Koremori and he seemed to have made an impression. However, I do not think that my daughter is considered to be an advantageous candidate for him."

"Maybe not for his son, but for other members of the family…it could be a way for him to show how powerful their family is. Also," Mochihito continued thoughtfully. "It is true that her rank is not as advantageous as it should due to Kiyomori himself, but she would be seen as very suitable in other aspects. Have you forgotten that the Heike's artistry is something that Kiyomori has started? Even though they believe that they can laugh at others for being uncouth, many would still laugh at them at how this is just a way to cover their origin." (5)

In addition to her father, Rurihime was the daughter and granddaughter of two women who were said to be very artistic. Therefore, if she married into the family, then this would mean that there was an approval of their artistic achievement.

"…I think not." The father said grimly although he was rather irritated with himself for failing to consider this possibility. He had thought that his daughter was not in such danger yet.

When he had an audience with his brother, the conversation was rather similar, although it differed by having so much more detail.

"Kiyomori had a nephew your daughter's age." Goshikawa-houou said suddenly. "A rather charming boy who plays the flute very well."

"Is that so? But what do you yourself think of this? You are fond of your niece, are you not?"

"I am, and that is part of the problem. What I do will have an impact. If Rurihime marries into that family then this would be an indication- just like what happened when Taira no Tokuko married my son. However, if I let her marry anyone then that would be seen as a sign too."

"Rurihime's marriage would not be easy." The younger man admitted. It seemed that he was wrong in considering his brother's aid.

Not that he really expected any in the first place.

"But then you have been rash before. Did you not marry without telling anyone, and some of your mistresses…I suppose I can forgive you for being rash one more time." Upon saying so, a slight smile appeared, which was then joined by the other.

"Of course, I would wish for my daughter to marry well…and I might be hasty in snatching up a chance."

"When she is married or engaged, then I have no choice but to let it go, since I would not wish to be so cruel. Although," he added, "you might be lucky by not needing to go into all that trouble. I will give you a hint."

* * *

Hiraizumi was not involved in politics, but they were perfectly aware of what was happening. Kunihira has heard of Masako's actions and he had written to his friends about that. He would now just send one letter because the two of them would read it together anyway.

It was still not very easy as what he felt for Tamako did not chance despite the amount of time that passed. Yet it was so foolish of him to be jealous when he never had a chance.

"Kunihira, where is your brother?" his father demanded, and he was holding a letter- which was from Kyo.

Usually, Yasuhira's whereabouts was rather easy. However, due to Yasuhira becoming friends with Kurou, this was no longer so. Despite the protest and complain that Yasuhira give, he would almost always accpet the other's invitation. The friendship was quite different from Kunihira's friendship with Kagetoki, but he could tell that Kurou was clearly a very important friend to Yasuhira, and he was glad of this.

"…I believe that he is riding with Kurou-dono." Kunihira replied before he asked with concern: "Has something happened?"

"Nothing is wrong, but this letter does concern him greatly." Hidehira said simply.

When Yasuhira returned, the situation was explained. Hiraizumi had a rather powerful position in politics despite not being involved. Perhaps it was due to the fact that it was independent.

Rurihime was offered by her father, as something akin to a peace offering and symbol. If Hidehira's son would marry her, then it would be an indication of Goshikawa-houou letting them do all that they pretty much want.

"This is rather advantageous for us and it will be a good marriage for Yasuhira." Hidehira said.

"So it is the heir instead?" Yasuhira commented.

"If it is your brother then this might be regarded as an insult. After all, she is a princess, as well as being the child of the main wife." Hidehira pointed out.

Kunihira nodded in agreement and he was actually very relieved that it was not him. He knew that it was impossible for him to get what he wanted, yet he seemed to refuse to face the truth by marrying. Luckily, he was not the heir, so he had the ability to delay it.

"If this is advantageous for us, and it appears to me, then I have no reason to disagree." Yasuhira said, almost as if he was talking about another persons' wedding.

Unfortunately, there were no women who were important enough to attend the meeting. Kunihira's mother was dead while Yasuhira's mother would probably never return. Even though they would have still agreed with the marriage, they would at least have noticed the problem the couple would face.

After all, it would be a marriage with two people that had completely different interest and personality.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) Given that this is a Haruka 3 fan fiction, I thought that I would use the Japanese term (Biwa) instead of the Chinese term (pipa)_

_(2) Seishitsu is the main wife, while Sokushitsu is the concubine. However, Keishitsu is the second wife. When a main wife (seishitsu) die, a man might decide to have another main wife, and this would be keishitsu. Taira no Tokiko is a keishitsu, and so is Atsuhime._

_(3) Taira no Shigeko was Taira no Tokiko's sister, and her son was the emperor Takakura- Takakura-tenno, which was the father of Antoku. According to some source, her death actually resulted in the Heike and Goshikawa-houou's relationship worsening, as she had served as a mediator. _

_(4) Mochihito was the third son of Goshikawa-houou and the one who ended up rebelling with Yorimasa. He was said to be a very artistic person. It was said that his father actually considered making him the ruler, but then ended up disliking him due to Shigeko. But one version did say that he was not able to be the heir due to his birth._

_(5) This bit is quite interesting, there is actually this whole thing about how one of the Heike's downfall could be due to the fact that they became too artistic. Unlike the Genji, the Heike were no longer warriors, but like the nobles of Kyo due to their love of art. On the other hand, this seemed to be the result of Kiyomori and I have a feeling that initially, the rest of the family were like a bushi family. _


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

_"To be the shadows at his feet _

_And to be able to be of use to this light_

_Then this would be happiness"_

_~ (__洞窟に純光の瞳__)_

At twelve, Rurihime was still more of a girl instead of a young woman. However, she was a very beautiful girl and her accomplishment in the arts made her all the more attractive.

Then there was the 'dowry' that her bridegroom would receive: the indication of a royal approval.

This was probably the more important part, but it was good that not only was she rather pleasing to the eyes, she did have a rather gentle personality that was not unpleasant.

Yasuhira's mother had been the very opposite in regard to the last part.

"…she is indeed a charming daughter-in-law." Hidehria said before he turned to his chosen son. "Yasuhira, do you not think so?"

"Does this matter?" Yasuhira said impatiently. "The reason that we are marrying is for the political marriage, just as how you married my mother."

Rurihime actually found herself bending her head down even more, losing all the courage she had in looking up. She actually had not get a proper glimpse of her future husband, and she did not have the courage to do so now.

His voice was cold and she immediately realised that he did not care for her at all.

"Please forgive my younger brother!" Kunihira suddenly said with a clearly forced laugh. "But boys of his age are very…sensitive!"

The 'I am not a child!' naturally made the argument even less convincing, but they all had to use Kunihira's words as a way to get themselves out of this rather awkward situation.

"That is so." Hidehira quickly agreed.

It was true that this marriage was very advantageous for the bride's family and they showed how willing they were for this alliance by coming to Hiraizumi themselves. Although it was also because the family's excuse of leaving Kyo was due to doing a pilgrimage here.

This was a very great act of humbleness and Hidehira knew that it must not be taken for granted. That is to say that they should not push their luck that far, because the alliance was very advantageous and desirable for Hiraizumi too.

His son's comment clearly affected the daughter and the mother actually openly frowned.

"But it is a pity that she would be returning with you to Kyo." Hidehira began. "I think it would be better if she stayed a bit longer to know about Hiraizumi better."

"We will be staying here for sometime." Rurihime's father said. "However…my wife is not able to part with our daughter yet."

"After all, this is a sudden decision." The mother said smoothly, refusing the urge to embrace Rurihime, who was clearly getting rather uncomfortable in this situation. They had told her about the real purpose of the trip, yet she has clearly not been given enough time to digest the news. "I have not taught her all the necessary things.

Even though their letters stated that this was a planned arrangement, these pieces of paper would soon be destroyed. To the world, the marriage would be described as a sudden event. All the more necessary due to the current situation.

Perhaps, her parents thought, their own daughter was dangerous as well. If she could choose, then she might very well choose the fate that they were trying to prevent her from. Rather recently, the family had been invited to a banquet by Kiyomori. Taira no Atsumori had played the flute to which Rurihime danced.

This banquet made her parents greatly alarmed.

First of all, there was more then one suggestion of how well she and Atsumori looked together. When Rurihime was asked about it, she said that she quite enjoyed being in Atsumori's company and she even giggled that he was quite adorable. (1)

Secondly, Koremori praised her dancing and the young girl had blushed. She seemed to regard the young man with a certain reverence due to his dancing and despite her mother pointing out that this was just a little girl idolising something, her father replied that something could still happen before she grew up from this fancy.

"But I think the main reason is also your pride." Her mother said. "You feel that they ought to be begging for the honour of marrying our daughter due to your position."

It was not that the other candidates he had selected for his daughter would be that extreme, but there was a clear difference in their attitude. Unlike Kiyomori, being that of the imperial family was acknowledged.

But then, Kiyomori was much more powerful. It was clear that the current emperor was very obedient to Kiyomori.

"It will not last though." Was the grim prediction. "Something will be happening."

Therefore, they decided that not only would she be married, she would marry soon.

"However, we are very eager for our daughter to marry your son." The father of the bride said. "Therefore, we wish for the marriage to take place now. A few years later, when she is older, she will come and live here."

At this, the adults then nodded to seal the agreement: the wedding would take place tonight.

* * *

Unlike the wedding of Kagetoki and Tamako, this one was much more grand and there were much more ceremony and preparations involved. Rurihime was prepared by her mother. She was attended by maids that her mother brought here, as well as maids here. Despite their chattering that involved her in both a direct and indirect way, she still found her mind wandering.

She knew that she was approaching the age when she could be married, but this was still completely unexpected: it still seemed much too early.

Her parent's marriage had been rather romantic to her- her father saw her mother at a banquet and he then decided that he would marry her no matter what. the young girl knew that she would probably not be able to have a similar incident happening to her, but she did believe that she would at least be able to know a bit more about her groom.

Perhaps it was because she thought that she would marry someone from Kyo.

On their way here, she accidentally heard her parents talk about the possibility of her marrying into the Heike family and she had wanted to explain, but her desire of sleeping was much too strong.

It was true that she regarded Koremori as a rather idealised figure, but that was all. She merely meant that she liked to have a husband like him, as she wished that she and her husband could talk about such a thing together, because she had really enjoyed her conversation with Koremori.

As for Atsumori, he was a kind boy but that was all. Besides, he actually did not really talk to her as he seemed to prefer his brother's company so much more.

Shigehira happened to be sick that day while Tomomori was not friendly to those that he was not interested in.

Although, she admit, being part of the family might not be bad. The family had mostly been nice to her and this would mean that she would get to remain in Kyo.

It was true that she did not need to live in Hiraizumi yet, but she would one day need to. It was a beautiful palace, but it was clearly not what she was used to.

As for her husband…this was probably the hardest part.

In addition to her position, Rurihime was a girl that most people found quite charming. Therefore, she was actually used to people being nice to her. However, Yasuhira was very different.

Yet this man would be her husband. What would life be like for her?

"…all of you, leave." Her mother suddenly said. "I wish to be alone with my daughter."

The mother was actually not very calm either. She loved her daughter very much and she could not help but to wonder whether this really was a good idea. After all, the meeting with her future son-in-law had not been very promising.

But then, she reasoned almost desperately, boys at the age of sixteen who were not interested in girls yet would often end up being very different when they grew up.

It was true that Yasuhira was not interested in what Rurihime cared about, but he would give her daughter more security. Surely that was more important.

"…Rurihime, you look very beautiful." She began, hoping to make the girl feel a bit better first. This was also something that the loving mother regarded as very true.

"But I don't think Yasuhira-dono really cares." The bride said sadly.

It was just that the groom was not someone who could be charmed by such a thing.

"You are still very young, and so is Yasuhira-dono." Her mother said, clearly trying to convince herself as well. "When people grow up, they will become very different."

"I really hope so." Rurihime whispered. "I…I don't think he likes me much."

It was natural that she would be afraid of being disliked when she would be in an alien situation.

"But Hidehira-dono is a very nice person, and so is Kunihira-dono." The mother assured her. "Most of all, you are coming home…back to Kyo with us."

"But hahaue, why is it so important that I marry now?"

"Because Kyo might be…dangerous. Therefore, it is important that you have this place to return to. Rurihime, you know that your father and I both love you very much."

The nod was immediate and without hesitation.

"Therefore…know that we choose Fujiwara no Yasuhira because he is the best husband for you."

This nod was not immediate.

* * *

As this wedding was so much more grand, the couple actually exchanged wine at the banquet. This would be the occasion when they finally could have a proper look at one another. Rurihime had been too shy to look at Yasuhira, which actually meant that he did not get to have a proper look at her.

Dressed in the fineries that deserved their name even in Kyo, with her face and hair both decorated very carefully, the bride was very beautiful and this was commented on by many of those present. Rurihime had this as an advantage because many men would have felt a desire to please her if she was their wife due to finding that beauty very pleasing to them. In time, affection might easily grow in the relationship. Therefore, she would not need to be worried at what might happen when time pass in abundance.

Unfortunately for her, Yasuhira was not the type of man who would be affected in such a way.

As he faced her, he admitted that her appearance was what most would describe as beautiful. However, this did not matter at all. He would still marry her even if she was hideous. Besides, he was not the type who felt that one should look at beautiful things a few more time. (2)

Therefore, the object of envy would have laughed had he heard about what people were saying.

At the time of their marriage, Yasuhira was only sixteen, as their age gap was that of four years. However, Rurihime felt that he was so much older then her, as he already seemed like an adult.

She was not universe to elegance due to being from Kyo, but Yasuhira made her a bit confused. He was not…particular elegant, but there was something about him that made him seem really different. He was more elegant then those from Kyo despite not being elegant.

As for his appearance…she was not sure if she could describe him as handsome as she did for Koremori, but he was certainly extremely striking. In fact, she was sure that he would be easily spotted even if they were in a crowded room.

Later on, she would look at him very often, and perhaps she actually enjoyed doing so. However, she did not really like meeting his gaze. This was because she was certain that his eyes were, at the very best, indifferent when they looked at her. (3)

She was probably a bit vain since she did grow up with her appearance praised quite often, and even though she naturally did not expect everyone to respond to it, it was still a bit upsetting when her husband completely ignored it.

He told her, when they were alone together, that he has no intention of sleeping with her, so she should feel free to go to sleep. As for him, what he would do was very clear as he took a book out and began to read. This was done without so much as a second glance at her.

Rurihime couldn't help but to be angered at the fact that the book was so much more interesting then her. If she was a few years older, then she might have done something that was more useful in the situation. However, she did not possess such a knowledge at twelve.

"…Yasuhira-dono."

He looked up, but what should she say? "This is not how people should spend their first night together.'? She knew that this would provoke ridicule from her. He would tell her, with no little scorn in his voice, that he knew this.

What if he then decided that he would sleep with her? Was she ready for this?

"…do you have anything that you wish to say?" Yasuhira asked very evenly.

"I wish to talk to Yasuhira-dono a bit more." She suddenly burst out. "Should we not try to understand each other a bit more?"

His reaction told her that this was probably the wrong thing to say.

"Instead of understanding me, should you not try to understand Hiraizumi a bit more?" he actually continued to speak, which she would later on recognise as a good sign, because a very stupid question would be completely ignored by him.

"Hiraizumi is different from Kyo, so your advantage in Kyo would probably not be useful here. Your dancing and art will find few admirer with the people here." He continued. "Even if they do praise it, this is merely because they find it quite pleasing to look at. That is all. It will not mean what it did in Kyo, so you better get use to it."

"Yasuhira-dono, do you know the culture of Kyo well then?" she asked, recalling some of the things that she had heard.

"I know it as I have live there during my childhood." Like many, he would only use this term when he felt that this period of his life, which he might still be described as being in, was actually quite far away. "I do not practice them or even care for them, but it seems that having been in Kyo as a child is enough to condemn me. Therefore…"

His words were unfinished as he did not feel that it was necessary to do so. Rurihime was not the type of person that Hiraizumi would regarded as suitable as the wife of the future leader.

But then, Yasuhira was not really regarded as acceptable to be the future leader.

"What do you think though, Yasuhira-dono?" she asked, hoping that her voice did not sound desperate. If he did not approve then how does she survive here?

"Marrying you is advantageous. Besides," this was added with a bit more emotion. "I do not need their approval in order to make my decision."

"Yasuhira-dono, I know that we are very different as you will probably never be interested in what I am but – " at this she paused because of the way he looked. It was clear that he found her words ridiculous.

"I do not wish to be the wife of someone who despises me." she muttered. "I admit that not all marriage can be like my parent's, but I still would like a happy marriage. Therefore…" due to her panic, as well as her fear at him saying something very cutting, she was almost saying anything in order to prevent him from speaking.

"Therefore…tell me what I have to do and I will…improve myself."

A silence followed as she had finally ran out of things she could say.

"…it is as I have said, marrying you is advantageous and that will do." he repeated. "Do what you wish, as long as you do not give me any problem. Besides, do not think that having my approval will help you much."

"It is not that! You are my husband, are you not? So I…I wish t good wife to you!"

"You will probably be a good wife if you bear sons in addition to bringing some sort of advantage. That is certainly what most people would say." Yasuhira said bluntly. "You only need to do the first part."

"But is that really enough for you?" she continued. Perhaps she just wanted to do something so she would not just be anyone as that meant any one could be in her position. "What is it that you would base your decision on if you are the one that is choosing?"

"The fact that you bring political advantage- "

"If that is not included!"

"…not being hysterical will be very important." His tone was very dry because at the same time, he took hold of both of her hands- which were grabbing onto the sleeves of his sleeping cloth- and pried it off. "I don't want someone who will irritate me."

"Do you wish one who would be able to be of help to you?" she suggested. Perhaps she could study hard and come back being very wise and capable. Even though this was rather hard, she would try.

"It might be useful, but I do not need it. I do not need to rely on my wife." He said this scornfully.

Rurihime suddenly felt a slight pain at her temple and she actually closed her eyes as she began to rub her temple. At the same time, she was also taking a deep breath.

Perhaps she had been too idealistic in her views on marriage, but her 'husband' seemed to suggest that there was nothing she could do to make it better.

"…Yasuhira-dono, what is your view on love?" she suddenly said. As her eyes were closed, she would not be able to see his expression. This was probably deliberate.

The tone assured her that this was a very smart decision, although the tone also told her that the question was extremely stupid.

Which was what he began his sentence with.

"As to be expected of a princess from Kyo." He added. "To live in such a fantasy."

Despite everything, he would remember her reply.

She had put down her hands and opened her eyes, and she even raised her head so that they were looking at one another.

"I am waking up today." She said very softly.

That was the first night they spent together.

* * *

The bride's mother actually did not get much sleep either as she was rather agitated for her daughter. She was sure that her daughter would not be facing the event she would have to face and would tell the world that she faced. However, a mother would still be very worried.

Like most young girl, Rurihime had been quite agitated upon hearing about it. But then, this was a very common reaction. Even Tamako was very nervous about this despite being in love with Kagetoki.

"…hahaue."

"Rurihime…" her mother took her hand and led her to the room she was in. As she did so, she kept a careful observation on her daughter. The girl was not smiling, but that did not seem unexpected.

Her hope was that her daughter was not going to burst into tears, as that would make her begin to doubt her decision.

"…Yasuhira-dono is a very strange man." Rurihime finally said.

"Well, it is still very possible that he might be…different." the mother suggested.

"I don't think so, hahaue." Rurihime said rather bluntly. "He is not an unkind man but…"

"If you really regret this marriage…" she probably could not do anything about it, but the love she bore for her only child still made her say this.

"I do not regret this marriage." Rurihime interrupted. "It is…strange, but I do not regret being his wife at all. In fact, I wish to be a good wife to him."

"Because he is your husband?"

"That is partly the reason." She admitted. "But that is not the only reason. I…I do not understand it, but I wish to do something for him even though he would not care at all."

Because he was her husband? Or because she just want to do something for him so that she would be useful and special?

Besides, she know that despite anything that her parents might say, their marriage would remain. This man would be who she spend the rest of her with.

Therefore…if her husband was not willing to do anything, then she must be the one.

However, this only reminded her of the fact that there seemed to be nothing that she could do.

But what did she feel for the man herself? This was not a question that she was able to answer. He was certainly not someone whom she said she would like to marry, and his behaviour had not been encouraging.

Yet she wished to please him.

Perhaps she even wished to be by his side.

Despite the fact that that he did not care for that?

"I really don't know what to think of Yasuhira-dono," Rurihime admitted, "I don't even understand what is it that I should do."

Perhaps it was her naivety that prevented her from giving up.

Even more importantly, however, was the fact that she did not dislike him.

Much to her surprise, he actually took her to see part of Hiraizumi. Despite his attitude, which made Rurihime wonder why he actually bothered, Rurihime could still tell that he really did care for this place.

"…Yasuhira-dono, I will be returning to Kyo with my parents." Rurihime declared out on the eve of their departure. For the sake of this marriage, the two of them spent every night together. Yasuhira still tended to read, although he would answer her questions if he deemed that they were worth answering.

Yasuhira had said that it was probably better for her to stay in Hiraizumi, since the fact that she was from Kyo like his mother would have made many see her in an unfavourable way. To them, Rurihime was probably not that different.

She actually had a good thought about this, but then decided against it. It was true that one day, she would do all that she could do be a very good wife, which would meant staying in here. However, she was not going to start at this very moment. Perhaps it was because she realised how different that this was, so she wished to take a slight rest by going back to the situation where she was familiar with.

"However, I will come back." She continued. "Then, Hiraizumi would be my home, because you will be my husband."

"That is not a bad decision, although I doubt that you would be much use, it is still better for you to be here instead of in Kyo. The people here are too narrow minded."

"Yasuhira-dono, may I ask you one more question?"

"A 'no' did not stop you from asking extremely stupid questions." Was the equivalent of a 'yes'.

"…do you never feel dishearten at dong something for people who do not fully approve of you…who do not even really accept you."

His answer was predictable. "Being the future leader of Hiraizumi is not due to their acceptable or approval, nor am I looking after Hiraizumi for their acceptable or approval."

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) She did like talking to him and find him quite adorable, but as she would later explain, this was all._

_(2) Initially, Rurihime was going to be described as very beautiful, but I then realised that this is not what Yasuhira would notice. I do not think there is, to him, a difference between beautiful and very beautiful._

_(3) If they are not indifferent, then she means that he dislike her._


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

_"That grieving gaze of yours,_

_That sometimes became an adult's_

_When will its true smile return?""_

_~ (__青葉時雨に佇んで__)_

Rumour always had a way to spread and the news of the marriage was talked by many even before the family returned to Kyo. If the marriage had been a challenge for the daughter despite the parents taking a rest as that they had planned was becoming true, the return to Kyo meant that the rest for the parents were over.

For her father, one of the first people he had to face was Goshikawa-houou. Even worse was the fact that Kiyomori was actually there.

"What a surprise and coincidence for you to be visiting at the same time as Kiyomori." Goshikawa-houou said with what sounded like real surprise, even though the other two both knew that this was something he deliberately planned. This was probably the only thing that they could agree on. "It is a pity that my niece is not here- I always find her dancing very pleasant." The following was added in a tone that seemed truly ignorant despite him having been partly responsible for what had happened. "Surely she is not in Hiraizumi with her husband, if he is indeed her husband."

"Rurihime is with us although she had been rather reluctant in leaving her husband." Not fully true, but who were they to call his bluff? "My wife and I decided that it is better for us to come back to Kyo with us."

"This is certainly a quick decision." Kiyomori said in a rather neutral tone.

"It is so, and my wife has already scolded me for this." once again, how would these two have proof? He was keeping his tone deliberately light to prevent the mood from being serious. "It is hasty but being the wife of the future heir of Oushu is too prestigious a position…I am sure that you will think so too, from a father's point of view."

"And Fujiwara no Hidehira is the one who came up with this plan?" Kiyomori continued. "He offered his son?"

"My daughter, even though I should be the one who say this, is a very charming girl. But then you have already given her the great honour of telling me that you think so yourself. In addition," at this he finally betrayed a smile that was like a smirk. "She does have some status."

"Most certainly," Kiyomori said steadily. Despite what one may do, both were still very important. However, this was no longer a great problem since the Taira has mingled with the royal family. "Though this is a pity."

"A pity? But there has been no one who wished for my daughter's hand in marriage."

At this, a second grin appeared. Because Kiyomori did not feel that this marriage was desperately important, it slid out of his hand. This was partly due to his pride- he was one of the few who could be like this.

However, this victory, if it was one, was a very petite victory. Kiyomori could simply shrug and forget all about it because it did not matter that much.

Despite smiling, Goshikawa-houou was not satisfied with the situation at all. The action of his brother merely offered some immediate satisfaction. He would still need to do something about this.

"I do not deny that something will be done." Was what Mochihito said when the two friends were have a private conversation. "But will it be done on time?"

"You speak as if you know that something is going to happen. "Rurihime's father pointed out, frowning. "Has something actually happened during my absence?"

"…I had a chance to talk with my brother alone- the current emperor. He…he and I have never really conversed without his mother or her allies hovering near us. Therefore, yesterday was a very rare event. He…he said this to me…"

Due to the political situation, the two brothers had been on hostile sides. However, the following was said: "Aniue, you have nothing to fear from me. I am merely a boat with not ability of controlling where or even which way I go." (1)

"This could merely be a statement of the current situation instead of a prediction." Was the verdict. "However…it is a very accurate description."

"That is because he allowed it to be so." Was Mochihito's rather unsympathetic words.

"I hope that you are not planning something foolish." His friend said grimly.

"Aren't you the one who had been a bit rash?" was the not so good assurance. "I am not as patient as my father but I can bid for the right time too…"

"Mochihito…be careful." Was the parting words. "I admit that you had been careful to a certain extent since nothing has happened yet, but…"

Something did happen rather soon: Taira no Shigeko was ill again and this time, she did not recover. She herself probably foresee the future because her dying words had been: "I cannot die now, I am needed."

When Rurihime's father first heard this, he had sneered and said the following to his wife: "She seem to regard herself as the actual empress." However, it only took him a few days to realise that he was the one that was wrong.

The funeral was attended by Goshikawa-houu and both Kiyomori and Tokiko were there. After all, Shigeko was Tokiko's sister. It was an event that contained more then what it should.

Grief was there, but that was not all. There was an obvious tension.

Shigeko was actually much more important then what most people gave her credit for. Because of her love for Goshikawa-houou as well as being Tokiko's sister, she actually managed to stabilise the current situation. In addition, she was also the mother of the current emperor.

Now that she was gone, there was no one to speak for Goshikawa-houou and protect his interest at the meeting of the Heike family. Likewise, there was no one to defend the Heike family that might be listened to by Goshikawa-houou and the current emperor. After all, they did care for Shigeko and though they would probably not admit it, they did not wish to hold her.

However…now that she was gone…

One of the first thing that Goshikawa-houou did was to summon his third son to him.

"Mochihito, it is true that we have been rather estranged due to many things in the past, but due to the recent events, I realised that I can no longer bear this." Goshikawa-houou began and there were even some tears. "Therefore, let us cease this foolish battle."

Despite being fully prepared for this, Mochihito was still shocked at how shameless his father was, as well as having to admit that this acting was remarkably well. A neutral and ignorant person would certainly say that no son should be able to refuse such a plea from his father.

But then, Mochihito thought with a slight smile, it was in his interest to agree as well.

"Of course." He said and it was probably not just due to the political advantage it would bring him, but because he was still really glad at the possibility of being cared for by his father again.

This reconciliation was obviously designed for more purpose then to reunite a pair of estrange father and son. However, reconciliation was important as it would allow them to meet more easily in the future.

Surly a father should not be denied the opportunity of talking to the son he had little contact with during the past few years. Yet this itself was a clear sign as well. After all, most know that it was Shigeko that cuased this.

Something would happen…that was certain. Rurihime was naturally not involved in any of this, but she was fully aware of what was happening due to the conversations around her.

Things were clearly being very bad when her father asked her whether she would like to go to where her husband was. She actually asked him to let her have sometime to think, and her seriousness would have made him smile if it wasn't due to the current situation.

"I think I will be going back to Hiraizumi soon and I am not really unhappy at this because I do wish to be beside Yasuhira-dono." She admitted. "However," and this however was the important part. "I do not wish to leave chichiue and hahaue just yet."

Like them, she seemed to someone know that when they part, it would be an extremely long one. Even though it would not be hard for them to meet, they know that this would not be so.

Her parents exchanged a look before they decided that they would take this risk. It was probably not a smart move, but they were not always rational when their daughter was involved, just as they had not been completely rational in their decision to be with one another. Perhaps there was also guilt as well, as they know that her daughter's marriage would not be very happy even though she seemed to care for her husband. At the very least, the early years of the marriage would not be happy.

Instead of returning back to her room as her parents told her to, Rurihime actually carefully hid herself so that she could listen to the words that would only be said if she was not there.

Perhaps to not let her know was dangerous as naivety would not help in any way. At the very same time, what one learns could often be very harsh.

"And what is it that makes you worry so much?" her mother was saying. "I know that there is something more."

"…as I have said many times, something would happen." Her father began, "But it would not be my brother's hand. He has always been like that…someone else would act for him so he could participate in another game, as he would not be one of the destroyed pieces. Right now…it seems that Mochihito is the one that he chose."

"What will you do then?" was the very grim question. "Will you stay out of this or will you actually side with him?"

The reply was something that Rurihime missed due to it being too soft. It was just as well, because it concerned her.

"…I will never do something that will severally endanger Rurihime."

"What about me then?" the wife asked, which the daughter heard.

"You understand me, do you not?"

This meant that she would accept his actions.

* * *

In the end, it was Kiyomori who moved first. Goshikawa-houou was actually imprisoned in a very smart way. Despite him seeming to have great freedom, he actually had none.

Perhaps that was why many made the mistake of not doing anything about it. Or perhaps it was because many actually did believe that Kiyomori would be the better candidate. This was a rather reasonable assumption- especially for those who had some relation with the Heike. It was true that priority were given to those who bore the name 'Taira' and were closely related to Kiyomori, it was still more advantageous for some one of the Heishi.

Such as the Hōjō or the Kajiwara. It might be reflected glory, but something did exist. This was the next best thing to being part of the Heike.

Yet it was not enough. If it had been, then Tokimasa would not have forgiven his daughter for marrying Yoritomo.

Goshikawa-houou was imprisoned, but that were merely the first step. It was true that most were not pleased, but many were able to look the other way.

The next step, however, was too much.

It was one thing to imprison the retired emperor, but it was a completely different matter to force the current emperor to abdicate and let your own grandson be the emperor.

This made the situation all to clear- the real ruler was Kiyomori.

Upon hearing this news, Rurihime's father actually visited his nephew- being one of the few who could do so. The other had been surprisingly tranquil for a man who just had all of his powers taken away from him, but then, he has not regarded these power as his for a very long time.

"…the emperor is a vessel. All his subjects are the water that tries to get him to sail the various directions and he will eventually sail to the direction ordered by the one who controls the others."

"And you will just accept this?"

"I have already accepted this for a very long time."

He accepted his fate with resignation, but the same could not be said of his father.

Goshikawa-houou had many visitors, including this brother. However, the imprisoned man made no complain of his situation. If there were tears, then it was shed on behalf of his son that was no longer the emperor.

"At such a time," Rurihime's father said to his wife very bluntly, "He suddenly loves that said person very much."

"But I cannot believe that this would happen." Rurihime's mother said. "It is just…too much."

"Exactly. Many people have accepted the fact that Kiyomori had great power as it was impossible to change this, but this is too much. Many would choose to fight as there is now nothing to lose."

"Or they might do so as who knows what would happen if they do not do anything?"

"Either way, this is a sign for me as well." At this, he rested his gaze on their daughter. The young girl was dancing in the garden, and she did paint a very beautiful picture.

"Beauty and the skills that enhance it are dangerous. For many, Rurihime is like a price to be collected. The man will treasure it, but it is only because he does not wish to damage it." The father said bitterly.

"And so you choose a man who does not see her as beautiful?" the mother asked sharply, recollecting how Yasuhira's eyes had been completely unaffected.

"That was a coincidence- that he would have such a personality. However, it might be a good thing. When a man like Fujiwara no Yasuhira cares for someone, he will care for them simply because he does. It is an emotion that will be lasting because he sees the virtue and faults, yet is not affected by either." (2)

"But he must care for that person first, is that not so? That emotion…will be very difficult to obtain."

A silence followed as there was no way to deny this.

"But I have made my decision. Rurihime would start the preparation for her departure to Hiraizumi. This time…she will be staying there." He said firmly before he added the following: "You…could go there with her."

"I will not." His wife said without any hesitation. "I will stay with you. Are you not my husband? Or have I merely been a prize to you? If you love me…then you will let me stay with you as you will understand how much it hurts to be parted from you."

* * *

Rurihime listened to everything with an unusually grave expression. When she spoke, she proved that it was simply impossible for her to remain ignorant, even if they might have wished this.

"Are we in danger?" she finally said. "If that is so, then why do chichiue and hahaue not come with me to Hiraizumi?"

She was a girl who, like most of those in her position, rarely ventured out of her quarters, and her main interests were her dancing and arts that girls her age would pursuit. However, she has heard what the servants and maids whispered. This, combined with what was occasionally betrayed by her parents meant that she was actually quite well informed.

"We are not in danger…it is merely the possibility of being in danger." Her father said, and this was a rather honest answer. "Therefore, it is a suitable time for you to go to your husband. Right now, there are few who could threaten Hiraizumi."

"But will Chichiue and hahaue be safe in Kyo?" she repeated once again. "I will be safe in Hiraizumi, but you two will be in Kyo."

"We will be safe in Kyo." It was her mother that answered for her father and later on, both women would wonder whether this was because she already suspected what he was thinking of.

"Also, the reason that you are in more danger is due to this." her mother said before she explained about the rather hasty marriage.

"Chichiue, hahaue…I would never have married any of the Taira family if you two did not desire it." She examined in great surprise.

"It is not just due to this." her father assured her very quickly. "The trouble is that who get to decide is not us. I think the Heike has reached their limit…but that is why the situation right now is very dangerous. Those with privilege has extreme power, which causes many to desire to change it"

Rurihime's gaze moved to her fan- which her parents knew was a gift from Koremori. Was she perhaps finding it hard to believe that the Heike were given the role of a villain?

"Taira no Kiyomori is not a bad man." Her father began, trying to explain the situation in a neutral way. "But the problem is that he feels his family ought to be the one that benefits and he will use his power to ensure that it is so."

"Are not most families like that?" Rurihime pointed out.

"But there are things that we know that we can't do." her father said grimly. "Your mother and I love you very much and we wish for you to get a grand marriage. While we might try to use our influence to let you be the one chosen, to prevent others from being there would be too much."

"I think I understand." Rurihime spelt out very slowly. "Is this not the same as making another leave the position he has so that your family member can occupy it?"

There was no need for her father to answer, as this was what had happened with the emperor.

* * *

One more incident was to happen before Rurihime leaves Kyo. At a glance, it seemed like a very simple action, but it would be this that triggered a series of event.

Minamoto no Nakatsuna, the son of Minamoto no Yorimasa, was the owner of an extremely famous horse. The value of the horse along with the fame made it a very precious object to the answer. Not only was it irreplaceable, the owner claimed that it was even more valuable then his own life.

Rurihime has actually seen the horse a year ago due to chance. As the young girl admired the horse, her father had been talking to the host.

"I heard that so and so offered this amount for it." Her father had been saying. "Yet you refused to sell it."

"I will never sell it regardless of the amount of money that is offered." Nakatsuna said simply. "This horse…its value is that of my life."

Yet this horse changed its owner.

"Taira no Munemori demanded it, and so he received it." Rurihime's father commented cynically. "What might he ask for next time?"

This made him all the more determined to see his beloved daughter to go to Hiraizumi.

"Do you think Minamoto no Nakatsuna will do anything?" Mochihito asked his friend. "His expression when he saw Taira no Munemori is certainly…interesting."

"He will never do anything his father refuses and his father has been Kiyomori's dog for how long?" was the reply. "After all, Kiyomori certainly fed him well enough."

To his daughter, however, he tried to be less cynical.

"Do you understand what I meant?" he began. "What happened is obviously wrong, yet Kiyomori allowed it to happen as it does not harm his family in anyway. His family can have whatever they want despite who would be hurt."

"I understand." Rurihime assured her father gravely. "I understand why it would be dangerous.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) The original words were taken from the Tale of Heike (Which I got from wikipedia and they are something like this: '__the emperor is a ship while his subjects are water. The water enables a ship to float well, but sometimes the vessel is capsized by it. His subjects can sustain an emperor well, but sometimes they overthrow him.'_

_(2) I really feel that Yasuhira is like- I feel that his relationship with Kurou is a good example. He sees Kurou's fault and is probably frustrated by it, but he accepts it._


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

_"The brief rainbow is the gift from the heaven_

_It has seen the secrets of the sky_

_As well as your sad expression"_

_~ (夕虹の淡き秘めごと)_

Rurihime left Kyo and not only would she never return to it, she would never see her family again. But she did not realise this at that time. She knew that the situation was bad, but she was still naïve enough to think that things would somehow be alright.

A few days after her departure, her father was to receive two visitors, a common and an uncommon one.

"Minamoto no Yorimasa…" he said slowly. "What do you intend to do by this alliance, Mochihito?"

The answer was simple- his friend and nephew intended to ally himself with Yorimasa as well as rallying the exiled members of the Genji."

"I have decided that this is what I will do." Mochihito said firmly. "Because this is my only chance."

"Why did you come and see me?" he asked dryly. "I have no stand with the Genji, nor do I have any military power?"

"You are wealthy." The practical reason was given before the sentimental one. "And I wish that you would be with me."

The truth was that they were one another's closest friend.

"It is true that I think Taira no Shigeko has done you wrong, but Mochihito, you had little chance of being the emperor in the first place." He finally said bluntly.

"It is not just due to that…it is due to pride. Kiyomori treats the royal family as if we are his subject…forcing my brother to resign."

"That is not untrue." Once again, he thought of his beloved daughter.

"But why have you decided to ally yourself with him?" this time, the question was directed at the other person.

Minamoto no Yorimasa smiled grimly and he only said one sentence, but that one sentence was enough.

"The rumours are true."

At this, Rurihime's father was completely startled. "Surely such foolishness could not be true."

The horse that Nakatsuna loved so much was given to Taira no Munemori, if such words could be use to describe what had happened. Yorimasa had told his son that they had no choice other then to obey due to all that Kiyomori has done for him. However, this was not the end of the matter.

The horse was renamed to Nakatsuna.

"I saw it with my own eyes…I can no longer endure this." Yorimasa said very grimly. "It is true that I owe a lot to the Heike and Kiyomori, but this…"

This was too much. The balance was lost. (1)

"To do such a thing…this is a great insult." Mochihito said grimly. "This is perhaps the equivalent of provoking a fight."

"Perhaps they think that I will merely accept it was I have endured such an insult in the pas." Yorimasa admitted. "However…enough is enough."

"And is Mochihito merely a tool for your revenge?"

"Not a tool, but an ally. After all, do you two not desire this already?"

"The truth is that I do not know how high our chance of succeeding is." Mochihito admitted. "However, I am determined to do this. Not only is this a suitable time…I fear what might happen if we do not act soon. Kiyomori seem to already regard himself as the emperor."

"…let me have tonight to think." Was the answer. "However, take these money."

What he needed to decide was whether he should stand right beside his closest friend and face the possibility of being hunted by the Heike. He was sure that he was uncertain of what he would do, but his wife seemed to be the opposite. Upon entering her room, she actually said the following: "So has the time come?"

"What to you mean?"

"One of the reasons that I did not wish for Rurihime to leave is because I know that she would be able to prevent you from doing something stupid." His wife said softly.

"Do you think that this is merely 'something stupid'? Names are very important and what Taira no Munemori did…I think if the opponent had not been one of Kiyomori's immediate relatives, then they would have been immediately attacked." He said thoughtfully. "The only reason that such injustice…such insult is accepted is because of the one who did this is Kiyomori's son, and therefore no one dare to protest."

"But this is the whole matter! Taira no Munemori is Kiyomori-dono's son, and right now, the Heike are very powerful."

"Yes, that is so. But the Genji who are exiled around the land have long resented this and I believe that if they do rally themselves together, then there is a possibility…"

"Why are you telling me about how it will work?" her words were very sharp. "This does not concern us!"

"I…" he did not know how to continue speaking. Was this what he has already decided? It seemed that he was part of those in the plot who were trying to convince another to join.

"…I wish to aid my friend." he finally admitted. "And perhaps…perhaps it is what Yorimasa-dono said…"

"I am over seventy now and I never expected that I would live to this age." The much older man had said just before he left. "But as I looked at my life, I realised that I had always lived by doing what others wished."

"Perhaps I wish to be reckless as this is a way to live for my self. Yet it is true that such a thought would enter because the carrying on of my daily life is no longer satisfying."

"So you made your decision then…" his wife whispered this, and she then knelt down right in front of him. "Then let me make my decision. Let me stay with you in the places that I can."

He had to allow this.

"We will write to our daughter so that she would not…misunderstand." He added. "And also…to let them know that I act independently."

The letter was written and sent, but that was merely one of the events. Not only was Rurihime in Hiraizumi, so were Kurou and Benkei. Just as the letter of Rurihime's parents arrived, so did Minamoto no Yukie with the words from Mochihito.

The words were simple: the Heike family were in a position of too much power and it was time for the Genji to restore the balance.

A family council was summoned by Hidehira. Yasuhira was naturally there as he was the future heir, while Kunihira was the eldest son and old enough to take a part. Benkei and Kurou were there because this matter clearly affected them and it was also because they were almost like Hidehira's son.

Rurihime was there and she was the only female there. This was because Yasuhira's mother was in Kyo while Kunihira's mother was dead. They were not the only women of some standing in the house, but Hidehira's other sokushitsu were not important to attend such a meeting. If Kunihira had married then his seishitsu would definitely be able to be here. However, the head of the woman would actually be Rurihime, since she was the proper wife of the heir.

Rurihime has been at meetings with her husband but since she was still very young by being only fourteen years old, she usually spoke very little.

However, this meeting would be very different.

"My father has made it clear that he would be making no contact with me here, so that Hiraizumi would not be regarded as working with him." Rurihime said softly, the letter in her hand. "This letter which informed me of this was actually sent in secret."

"…did you know about what is happening?" Hidehira asked, and he was making sure that he was keeping his voice rather gentle, as he did not want to frighten her.

"I did think that chichiue would do something like this…he knows the danger." She said softly. "But it seems that he still choose to do despite this being very dangerous."

"But what do you think of this then?" Yasuhira turned to Kurou, feeling that what his wife said was enough. "This scheme…"

"I…I would like to fight with my brother." Kurou declared out simply.

"Why is it that you have this obsession with Yoritomo just because he is your brother?" Yasuhira muttered. He had spent quite some time with Kurou so he knows this aspect of the other's characteristic well enough now.

"But Kurou-dono, what your brother is doing is not certain yet." Kunihira pointed out. "Although he is now with the Hōjō clan."

"Kunihira, do you know much of the Hōjō family?" Hidehira asked. "Did you not visit them?"

"To a certain extent…but my friend is Hōjō Tamako, not her elder sister. Although Tamako did talk about Hōjō Masako now and then. Something about her sister being really intelligent and capable. As for their father…I do not really know."

"Aniue, if you do not know anything then don't you just say so in the first place?" Yasuhira said dryly.

"But I am surprised at this news." Benkei said thoughtfully. "After all, Minamoto no Yorihisa has always been very loyal to Kiyomori-dono."

At this, Rurihime then explained the story of what had happened with the horse.

"…if a similar thing had happened to my own children then I would probably have done the same." Hidehira admitted. "This is simply too much."

"Yet it also mean that the Heike were extremely powerful since they could do such a dangerous thing." Benkei pointed out.

"I think they have gone too far." Rurihime added. "My father…he has never been the type to involve himself in politics before."

"Perhaps it is because he could not before." Yasuhira suddenly said. He knew that not all people would have the same intelligence, but such naïveté still irritated him into saying something cutting.

Although, he had to admit, his wife was not that bad because she was aware of her own fault and would not presume to know the solution. (2)

"It is true that I am not sure what my brother is doing, but even if my brother is not involved…I think I would still like to do something."

"…are you not able to accept a peaceful life in Hiraizumi, Kurou-dono?" Hidehira finally said. "If you answer to this call…then your life will become very different."

"I could be happy here." Kurou admitted. "But I am a Genji, the son of the leader."

"Yet did you not once say that the Heike were like your family?" Yasuhira said- recalling the conversation they had quite sometime ago.

"That was when I was much younger…a child. I am," Kurou declared out. "A Genji."

The family meeting did not result in an immediate verdict, but what would happen was clear. Kurou would not act just yet, but he would definitely do so when his brother acted. However, it seemed that Hidehira and Kunihira both believed that they might be able to use this interval to make Kurou change his mind.

"That is foolish." Yasuhira said. "If he wishes to be stupid and leave, then there is no point in wasting our time to stop him."

However, Rurihime could hear great emotion in the voice of her husband. They have yet to sleep together so as a result, they have not had much opportunity of spending time with one another. The time where they were with each other was very brief and Rurihime felt that if she did not make the effort of approaching him, the time she was beside him would be even less.

"You sound…affected at the idea of Kurou-dono leaving." She began. Affected was a very good word to use because 'upset' or 'sad' would definitely cause the conversation to end.

"It is because Kurou is being stupid." Yasuhira muttered. The detachment of the honorific did not really surprise his wife because this was not the first time. When alone with her, he has just called the other 'Kurou'. However, he has yet to do this in front of the said person.

"Stupid? But is this action not normal?" She pointed out.

"Yes, but it is still stupid." Yasuhira said. "He has no plan at all! All he knows is that he is going to do it. He is almost…suicidal."

"Yasuhira-dono, if you do not wish for Kurou-dono to leave, then why do you not say so?" Rurihime said, which earned a sharp: "What he want to do is no concern of mine!"

"I think Kurou-dono is a very good man." Rurihime began, although she knew that her opinion would not really matter much.

She naturally has not seen Kurou that much due to the sphere of the women being separated from the other one. However, from the brief time they had talked or was just in the same time, he seemed a rather good man. Well, he has not been deliberately kind to the girl he had almost nothing to do with, but he seemed a rather friendly person due to his interaction with the two brother.

Benkei probably had more interaction with Rurihime since he was like that with women- always behaving with great courtesy that could be rather flirtatious now and then.

She suddenly sighed, was she thinking so much of the situation as it prevented her from thinking of her own parents? The truth was that she was very worried about her parents.

Yet she had no one she could confide in. Upon arriving here, she realised that one of the worst thing was to not have anyone that you could talk to.

"Yasuhira-dono…"

"What?"

His tone was enough to make her realise that she was being extremely stupid.

"Good night, Yasuhira-dono."

* * *

Rurihime has settled in Hiraizumi now and even though it was very different from the type of life she had in Kyo, she was not completely unsatisfied with it. Perhaps it was because she did have a goal.

She wished to be a good wife to Yasuhira.

Her new life was still very comfortable and even though she had no one close to talk to, the maids and ladies that served her were quite friendly and did provide gossips to prevent her being bored. This was partly because she did not really give herself any airs; she was used to being served. Although this then meant that she was not very imitate with them.

She was young and rather charming, but perhaps what helped her the most was actually Yasuhira's attitude, as the others could feel sorry for her.

There were many times when she would dance and the women in her quarters admit that it was rather pleasant to watch.

An area that changed, however, was her actually being out of the house more. Unlike the time in Kyo, when she would travel by some type of vehicle, the method of travelling was walking or riding. Since she could not ride, she tended to walk. (3)

She did enjoy these walk as the scenery was very beautiful. The people were friendly although that was all, as her rich clothes made her too distant from them.

Quite sometimes has actually passed since the visit from Yukie- which did not result in any immediate action. However, she knew that this was merely a gap.

Something would soon happen.

She was walking to one of the temples when she was greeted by a very surprising sight.

Her husband was riding…and he actually stopped in front of her. Regardless of whether he merely wished to stop and talk to her, or deliberately come to find her, both actions were very rare.

"There is news from Kyo, so Mitachi wishes for me to bring you." Yasuhira stated as he stretched his hand out to her.

"Yasuhira-dono?"

She did not have time to react because Yasuhira grabbed her by the hand and actually yanked her up to the spot right in front of him. This was actually very uncomfortable for Rurihime because that space was actually rather small.

"Did I not say that my father ordered me to bring you back as quick as possible?" was his explanation.

Rurihime was actually sitting sideway right in front of him, and this meant that she could actually see his face, which was very close to hers.

Even more alarming for her was the fact that her body was actually pressed right against his. Even though she was only fourteen years old, she was not completely unaffected due to knowing what she would one day have to do.

A man's body was alien to her right now, but because she would need to be imitated with it, a blush appeared.

However, her husband was completely indifferent because he still regarded her body as a child, nor was he really interested in women. To him, it would merely be an act of necessity.

Yasuhira helped her down but that action had not been tender. Rurihime did not have much time to be affected by this, as Hidehira's grim expression told her the answer to her question.

"I am prepared for the worst." She said bravely.

Hidehira nodded his approval at this while Kunihira smiled very encouragingly at her.

Mochihito had to flee due to the defeat of his troops and Rurihime's father had been with him. The two of them were at Nara when they were killed. However, their death was merely a confirmation of a failed plan as Yorimasa has already committed suicide due to losing his battle.

"…so everything has ended." Rurihime said softly.

"No, this is merely the beginning." Hidehira explained. "It is true that this rebellion failed, but it actually encourages many others to do the same. For some, it is an excuse while for others, it is merely an example."

"Perhaps…but it is finished for me. My father is dead…my father…" tears were pouring down because the pronunciation of the words made the reality so clear.

She would not see her beloved father again…he was dead…

After she managed to ask for the permission to leave, she actually stumbled out of the room.

"Yasuhira…" Kunihira began.

"What I say would not matter." Was the rather cruel answer. "It is not as if I can restore her father to life."

* * *

A letter from her mother soon arrived for Rurihime and this letter was of great help to her. Her mother let the young girl know that her father could not have been unhappy, because this was a choice that he had made; that this was something that he had wished to do.

"As for me…" The letter continued, "I have decided to become a nun as it is my wish to devote the remainder of my life to pray for your father."

This did not really surprise Rurihime. The two of them had loved each other so much that it seemed strange to think of the two of them not being together. Her mother's action was then the best way for her to cope in a world without her husband.

"You are my beloved child and even though I can take pleasure at your presence, the pain of missing your father is too much. All the worldly good that I had once delighted in are now empty as he is no longer there." The letter informed her. "Perhaps you will understand this one day if you do not understand it already."

Rurihime was sitting on the porch with the letter in her hand when Yasuhira actually appeared.

"…you are taking this rather well." He said as he stopped just a slight distance away from her, his arms crossed. "I expect you to be slightly hysterical at the very least."

"Yasuhira-dono, I know that you much prefer this reaction, so why do you ask me to do what you don't want?" Rurihime murmured darkly.

"…while you shut yourself in your room, many other things have happened." Yasuhira continued. "Yoritomo has acted with his father-in-law…saying that he would avenge what has happened."

"An excuse then?" she said- recalling Hidehira's words.

"That is so, and Kurou has decided to join him."

"That is what he wishes to do…he could stay in Hiraizumi, but he would probably be unsatisfied for the rest of his life." She said, thinking of the letter in her hand. "My father seemed to be like that. If he did not do anything, he probably would have been able to continue living his rather comfortable life in Kyo. However…"

"It is foolish." Yasuhria muttered and Rurihime almost suspect that he wished to kick the porch. If it was anyone but him, then she would have believed so.

"Yasuhira-dono, when have you been upset over other people's stupidity?" she suddenly said. Perhaps it was due to a slight anger at the care he showed for Kurou when none were given to her.

"So your eyes are not only for decorations, although I did think so for such a long time." he said dryly, a retort to having had some of his thoughts that he refused to admit being spoken out aloud by her. (4)

The truth was that Kurou has become a very important friend to him, especially when he was no one who would easily accept someone into his life.

Yet he was not someone who would show this. Therefore, the only thing he said to the departing Kurou was: "Don't get yourself killed so easily."

Later on, Rurihime would realise that this had been a very emotional moment in her husband's life.

* * *

_**Notes:**_

_(1) Initially, in the game, I did feel a bit sorry for the Heike and thought that they were quite unfortunate. However, it was this scene in the NHK drama that really made me changed my mind. I feel that if this is what happened, then what happened can be said to be brought upon the Heike themselves. At the very least, Munemori can be blamed for a lot of things. But as I have said, I feel that by omitting Munemori's presence, the game has become pro-Heike. Another bit that I really remember in the drama is when Nakatsuna was saying that there was no way that he can endure this, as this is just too great an insult._

_(2)Which, I feel, is what the Nozomi/Akane type of character does._

_(3) In NHK's drama, Masako was riding, so I am sure that some woman would ride. However, it seemed that the woman in Kyo mostly did not, and Rurihime would definitely be one of those that might not ride. I think walking, in such a place, should be alright, although it might be different in Kyo._

_(4) He actually says this to Nozomi at one stage. Although he said that her eyes were for decoration_


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

_"I really really like you,_

_The one person most important to me_

_If I could have been strong…for you."_

_~ (__風花昇華__)_

The day seemed like any other fine day, he ought to be able to go back and greet Tamako very happily. They would eat together with his mother and sister, and then he and Tamako would drink tea together, sometimes joined by the rest of his family. What they talked would vary- perhaps his latest invention or hopes for the future, or maybe just what they planned to do at his next free day.

These peaceful days were finally brought to an end. Kamakura was affected by the political situation since it was no longer limited to Kyo. The matter at hand was even seen as 'personal' to Kagetoki by some others.

Yoritomo and Tokimasa had acted and ironically the man which Kagetoki and his late father worked for was ordered to fight them by the Heike. For Kagetoki, having to fight in any way was bad, but the fact that he had some relationship with the opponent made it so much worse.

It was true that he has only seen Hōjō Tokimasa a few times, but the other was still his father-in-law. In addition, surely it was impossible for Tamako to be completely unaffected.

"I understand. Chichiue is rebelling and you are not, so it is possible that you two will be in conflict." Tamako had said bravely.

"Besides, what could she do about it?

"I am not really surprised." She admitted. "Chichiue has never been satisfied with the situation. I think the only reason he did not do anything before was that it was simply too dangerous."

Yet this was taking a great toll on her. Kagetoki knew that she was having trouble sleeping. At such a time, he really wished that his inventions could do something about this too.

Kagetoki was twenty three years old now but he realised that the past five years merely made him even more certain of what he wanted: a peaceful life.

However, the opposite was happening. He was going to be literally involved in a way. He was to take part in the actual fighting. Despite not being the best bushi, he was the one given the role of a commander.

It could be a bribe, but his lord had told him that it was because he was good at strategies, and was fairly liked by the others.

He really did not want to fight, but what choice did he actually have? Not only was he born into this family, he accepted this inheritance.

Unfortunately, he was not born during a time of peace.

He was able to go home a bit earlier that day, so his family was not waiting for him yet. He actually made his way into Tamako's room and perhaps he was being so secretive about it due to being curious at what she was doing.

He found her sewing something, but her hands were not fully steady because she suddenly threw down what she was doing in great frustration and began to cry softly.

"Tamako, what is wrong?" he asked her gently as he embraced her, as well as wiping her tears with his hand. "Why are you crying?"

"I…I wasn't crying! I was…" She muttered as she tried to think of an excuse.

"I did only say that to be so serious will be tiring, but to force yourself to not cry when you want to can be bad too." He said. "Therefore, don't force yourself. Especially not in front of me."

"It is nothing…" she muttered as she picked up the object she was sewing. "It is not as if I have never sewed before, but why does it keep up turning out really badly?"

It was a small pouch- the type to put certain perfumed powders in.

"I want to give this to you…but it keeps on being wrong." However, his presence seemed to make her much more calm, as she began to sew again, with him sitting right by her. "Kagetoki…I am really afraid."

"I will be fine, Tamako." He assured her firmly. "I will definitely come back. Unlike the others, I won't be doing anything stupid as I am not fighting to gain anything. Therefore, I will be very careful."

"…but I am still really worried." She said, her head bent as if it was to concentrate on her work. "Yet it is you that would be fighting."

"I will be very careful." He assured her again before he actually embraced her and pulled her right into his arms. "Tamako, I really don't want to die now. That is why I will definitely live. You believe me, right? Therefore, please be strong for my mother and Saku."

"…just as you had been strong for all of us?" she whispered before she forced a smile to appear. "Kagetoki, you must promise me that you will live and come back. Otherwise….I will never forgive you…I will never talk to you again."

"I promise, I promise." He assured her." I know it is hard but we must put on a happy face tonight. Hahaue tend to worry and Saku is too serious for her own good."

Turning around, she kissed him and then pressed something into his hand.

It was the pouch and she had filled it with his favourite incense. (1)

"I promise I will survive whatever war that I have to fight." He repeated as he clutched onto the object tightly. "After that, let us go to Hiraizumi and visit Kunihira. He said that we would always be welcomed there. We can see the sakura that he said could rival Kyo's."

Once more, she nodded. What else could she do?

"…there is only one thing I am really worried about in regard to this fight." he suddenly said. "I really don't think that I will meet your father or brother but…"

"I understand." She assured him. "I am from a bushi family and I married into one. I understand about such a thing. I am sure that aneue is the same as well. A woman will stay by her husband."

Although a marriage was meant to create an alliance between the two families.

"But please be really careful." She repeated. "I know what my father is like enough. If he will do this, then it must be because he has a chance in winning."

Once again, he assured her that he have every intention of doing so.

"But Tamako…will you think lowly of me if I do all that I can to survive?"

"Why would I do that? I just wish for you to survive the battle and come back to me."

"…thank you." it was a very strange thing to say, but that was what he said.

"Now…we will go and talk to hahaue and saku. However…" he actually reached to touch her face again, as she had started to cry once more.

"Do you remember that you once asked me to smile because you like seeing me smile? Do you recall what I said? I can only do so if you are there."

"And that is why I will definitely come back." He promised.

When they had dinner with his mother and younger sister, Tamako certainly played her part with him very well, assuring them that it really would be alright. However, he felt that it was much harder for her since the defeat involved her family. For Saku and her mother, the names were nameless and faceless.

"I accepted being in your family when I married you and therefore, you and your family are more important to me." she declared out, sensing that he was still feeling bad about this despite their earlier private conversation. "Besides, you are more important then my father."

* * *

The words of assurance to his family were not unreasonable. He was fighting the army led by Yoritomo and Tokimasa with his lord, but they were merely one of the groups.

"We definitely have an advantage in number!" Kagetoki assured his man because too many of them were like him: this was the first battle that they would fight in. Therefore, it was necessary for him to keep the morale up.

Kagetoki felt that he could never forget this battle, because so much…too much had happened.

First of all, this was the first time that he killed someone.

Tamako's warnings were right because Tokimasa was very skilled and so was Yoritomo. Even though the tide was not turned, they did suffer quite some loss. Kagetoki's group was one of the severest affected as their lord was killed due to being baited into the trap, and this resulted in them separated from the others. (2)

Therefore, the commander became the temporary leader as the lord's son was absent.

"I have a strategy that might work." Kagetoki said. "But it will not be a proper strategy."

He was right to introduce it in a tactful manner because this immediately caused some mummer.

"It is true that to utilise your resource is good." Someone began, "But this…"

"Yes, to strike a leader of our opponent this way is not ethical, but given our situation, this is our best chance of making it." Kagetoki explained.

He could just have done it, yet he felt that it was necessary for the others to accept it, as he would be commanding him for a bit longer.

"I don't deny that it is almost cowardly, but I wish to return to my wife and my family, instead of giving her a corpse."

A bushi was supposed to fight for honour, but what Kagetoki said was something that many of them desired. However, they would not admit it the way that Kagetoki just did.

"We have no other choice." Someone said, and this would be their excuse.

The protocol of fighting was to declare out your name to the opponent that you have chosen to fight with. Yet Kagetoki planned to attack the leader on the other side before the other was prepared.

This could almost be described as assassination. (3)

"Or is there someone who is certain that they can win?" Kagetoki muttered. "But even if this is so…it will not cause much change.

Another reason that he came up with this strategy was that his enemy would be surprised due to the blow being rather mysterious, due to his weapon.

"I will trust Kagetoki." Someone said. "After all, he had been right about this being a trap. If our lord had listened to him, then we would probably not be in this situation."

When alone, Kagetoki clutched onto the pouch that Tamako had gave him once more.

"Tamako…you will not blame me for this, right?" he whispered before he turned to his gun: what would play a very important role.

* * *

Their enemy arrived the very next day and Kagetoki was prepared for it. He would shoot the man he rides towards them, and then cast some spell to create more chaos.

He thought that he had made the necessary resolution, but it was not so. A new twist was added.

The opponent…the man who led the band sent to attack them was none other then Hōjō Munetoki- Tamako's elder brother. (4)

"You will forgive me, will you not, Tamako?" with that, he pulled the trigger. He could not let himself be affected as he was not just responsible for himself.

His strategy worked and that was how they managed to re-join the troop that they were separated. He was successful, yet he was aware of the look in the other's eyes.

On his part…he did not feel that he was wrong. That had been necessary.

However…

He could not forget the young man who laughed as he told him about how Tamako was being paranoid about him. That was one of their few meetings, but he found himself keep on thinking of it.

Munetoki was not someone that he really knew. What would have happened if the opponent was actually someone he knew from his classes in Kyo? Or what if it was Kunihira?

Would he still have shoot?

It was necessary to do so for the sake of survival, but when would it be too much? Would it ever be too much?

More then anything, he wished to go back home and never think of it again.

However, this opinion was not available let although he had high hope of it ending soon due to the battle being in favour of the Heishi. In fact, Yoritomo and Tokimasa were retreating.

Since his own lord had not been that powerful, this meant that Kagetoki had to answer to the general in charge.

"…Kagetoki, I am sending you to chase after Yoritomo." The general announced. "They are heading to Ishi-hashi-yama."

Perhaps much would be different if someone else had been given the task. In fact, Kagetoki often wonder why it was he that was chosen. Was it because he killed Hōjō Munetoki? Or was it because his wife was Tokimasa's daughter?

Either way, the task was given to him and he would have to be the one responsible. However, the general would most likely have claimed all credit.

Kagetoki did not really care as the last thing he wanted was to have a higher position.

When he finished the task…he would be able to go home. It might not be the last battle he would fight in, but it was certain that there would be an interval where he would be able to rest.

Yoritomo and the few survivor of his troop were riding away and the troop was actually decreasing in number due to Kagetoki's man shooting. It should have been an easy task.

One of the riders was actually cloaked, but then a sudden gust of wind blew the hood off.

The figure had very long hair that was decorated…it was clearly that of a woman.

"Hōjō Masako?" Kagetoki whispered in surprise. "Why would a woman be brought into the battle?"

The rider suddenly stopped and she turned around to face them. It was Masako, but there was something very strange about her.

"…I have rested enough." She declared out. "It is time."

All she did seem to be a wave of her hand, but that was enough. Most of the man that came with Kagetoki began to scream and for many of them, that would be the last sound that they make in this world.

Kagetoki was not fully certain of what was happening, but the intense pain that he was suddenly feeling told him that he did not have the time to think.

Raising his gun, he shot Masako.

"How scary!" Masako said this with a laughter that clearly showed otherwise. "That you would point that thing at me."

"What…what are you?" he was not surprised that she was alive as that shot had not been done for the sake of killing her. However, it would have cause the barrier around her to be dispelled.

He did not have time to wait for an answer- although he doubt that he would have got one. Taking his gun, he began to chant- it seemed that this was a rather strong barrier.

This earned a slight pout from Masako.

"It is fun to watch you struggle, but what is impossible will be impossible." (5)

He was actually bleeding and he felt his grasp on the gun slipping due to sweat. However, he refused to give up.

Tamako was waiting for him…and so were his mother and sister. There was also so much that he wished to do. To visit Kunihira in Hiraizumi, to have children with Tamako.

But was what would be impossible doomed to be impossible?

His conscious was slipping…was the end approaching?

* * *

The great pain in his body told Kagetoki that he was alive. However, the question was how long he would remain alive. Since he was tied, he had no doubt that he was captured.

Despite the situation, he suddenly wanted to laugh. He really was a failure when he could screw up this simple task.

"Not so simple…you had no choice of winning due to my powers being complete."

Sitting up, he saw that Masako was right beside him, and not far, was Yoritomo. Kagetoki has seen Yoritomo before but being at such a close distance was very different. There was something very imposing about him despite him not doing anything at all.

"Masako-dono?" he whispered, finding that his throat was extremely dry. "Are you…Masako-dono? You seem much different then before."

"Different, yes. However, I am still Hōjō Masako. Although," she added, "Tamako does not agree."

"Tamako? That trip back to Izu…" Kagetoki suddenly recalled what his wife had said between her tears. "She said she 'lost her aneue'."

"I might tell you more but now is not the time." at this, Kagetoki noticed that his gun was in Masako's lap. "This is certainly an interesting toy. Tamako never told me anything about it."

"…is this what you used to kill Hōjō Munetoki?" Yoritomo said, speaking for the first time. "What is it?"

All Kagetoki needed to do was to nod, but it seemed impossible for him to not answer the whole question.

"…what are you going to do with me?" Kagetoki finally said.

"What do you think?" Masako asked slyly.

"I do not know. It is true that I am your sister's husband but I did kill your brother." He said softly. "Therefore, I do not know."

"Chichiue would like to kill you." it was rather disturbing to hear a light laughter accompanying this sentence. "Not so much because you killed aniue, but because of how you killed him. I think he is waiting outside."

"Why am I still alive then?"

"Do you wish to die so much?" Masako asked. "Tamako would be very sad."

"I wish to live." Kagetoki said honestly. "But I am a bushi…so I will die like one."

"With the same dignity that you gave my son?" Tokimasa had been listening outside and up to now, he managed to control himself.

"Chichiue, please don't interrupt us. Please wait outside." The way she said this convinced Kagetoki that something dramatic has took place with this woman.

"As you can see," Masako said as she gestured to the departing Tokimasa. "This is your situation. However, Yoritomo-sama wishes to change this for you."

At this, Yoritomo began to speak once more. Unlike Masako, he jumped straight to the point.

"You are a capable man and I wish for you to be my servant….a rather important one."

"I?" Kagetoki almost wanted to laugh because the situation was getting absurd.

"This battle showed me that you are capable…because you are able to do what you must and you are unscrupulous." Yoritomo continued. "The death of Hōjō Munetoki is a very good example." (6)

"In addition, you wish to live." Masako added. "And you can do what you must in order to live. You are a real cruel person, Kajiwara Kagetoki. Because what you will do in order to live is very ruthless."

"If I refuse…would I be killed?" Kagetoki asked bluntly.

"That is so. However, if you agree then you will not just get to live." Masako pointed out very sweetly. "You will be rewarded greatly. If you want, I can even arrange it that people think you willingly choose to work for Yoritomo-sama. Most of all, your family would be very well looked after by us…very well."

The tone really meant that they would be hostages.

"I…" shouldn't it be easy to say the answer? Yet he could not help but to question whether this really would be alright because it was not just about him.

"We do not have that much time." Masako said with a slight frown. "As you can see, chichiue is especially impatient and I do have the task of reasoning with him if he doesn't get to kill you."

Kagetoki did not wish to die, but if he agreed to work for Yoritomo then he would be putting his family in great danger.

Was there a way for him to change anything?"

"I am a Heishi." The only reason that he said this was a vain hope of delaying some time.

"And? Are the Hōjō not Heishi too? Yoritomo-sama will be different by not letting our background matter that much. It will be status that counts." Masako answered. "Therefore, you would be Yoritomo-sama's servant although you are my sister's husband."

That made the only thing he could do appear. It would only help Tamako but at least one person would be free.

"But I do not think that most people would see it that way." Kagetoki began, even though this hurted him a lot. "To most people, it would be a clear indication of how being the son-in-law of Hōjō Tokimasa led to advantage. After all, why else would I be spared?"

At this, Masako was frowning: "What are you trying to say?"

"…that it is dangerous for me to be married to your sister." Kagetoki said. "It is dangerous for you two. Because if I am the son-in-law of Tokimasa-dono as well, then this would give me additional power. It would be even worse if I am to be an important servant…it might be seen that I am really serving Tokimasa-dono."

"You think too much!" Masako laughed out. "But do you have a solution then? I warn you, I will not be happy if all you want to say after all this is 'Therefore, this is why I will not be working for Yoritomo-sama'."

At this, Kagetoki actually smiled grimly- as it seemed that neither of them has noticed what he decided to do.

"…I wish to divorce my wife." Kagetoki stated.

"This is an interesting proposal." Yoritomo said and Kagetoki could tell that he was clearly amused by this. Hopefully, this expression was not a bad sign.

"If I divorce Hōjō Tamako, then this would allow you to show Tokimasa-dono that you are the one in full charge, not him." Kagetoki continued. "Besides, this will not bring you a disadvantage, Yoritomo-dono. After all, I will continue to be a good son and brother. However, I would not be able to be a good son-in-law."

This was really an indication and acceptance of what would happen to his family: they would be hostages.

Beside Yoritomo, Masako began to laugh.

"Yoritomo-sama, I can understand why you wish to have this man as your servant. He really is a capable yet cruel man. After all," she said with a cruel smile. "He would hurt those that he wishes to protect.

Kagetoki could not argue with her because she was perfectly right. This would hurt Tamako so much. In addition, he would end up doing so much that would hurt his family if they knew- yet it would be for their sake.

Yet he had made his choice.

"I wish to live…Yoritomo-sama." (7)

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) This is what happened in one of his event in Izayoki. The PC will end up making this for Kagetoki, I think it is called an ebi. It will turn out that Kagetoki is usually the one who made the incense for the family- which is what Akifumi does in Haruka 2. so this seems a rather upperclass past time._

_(2) I got this idea from the game, in Shirogane's route. Yasuhira will lure the others to the range of the ouyasha and he will then use the gekirin. However, we actually see Kagetoki telling the other guy to wait for a while as he suspect something._

_(3) Given that the way to fight was this: to declare out your name and see if they want to fight you. Apparently it was due to this that made them do quite bad when the Chinese attacked them, because they other side certainly did not bother with doing this._

_(4) Munetoki did die in this battle, although I do not think that he was killed by Kagetoki._

_(5) I thought that this line was quite ironic to be said by Masako (I didn't intend to) but it is oddly suitable, because this is what Kagetoki feel about the whole thing._

_(6) Due to writing this story, I actually did begin to think about this question and this is my answer. Yoritomo is a very smart man, so the fact that he picks Kagetoki is really due to him thinking that __Kagetoki is capable. _

_(7) This bit is symbolic because Kagetoki changed the title from –dono to –sama._


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

_"Oh heart, change to an icy wasteland_

_Change to a lonely icy wasteland_

_Let my thoughts freeze, so that I would not waver_

_Oh heart, change to an icy wasteland_

_And go to the furthest end of the darkness_

_Who does the traitor betrays in the end?"_

_~ (__心よ最果ての氷原に__)_

The news of what happened naturally arrived before the return of the said person. Kagetoki's family was to learn of what happened- how he ended up becoming a servant to Yoritomo without him returning to tell it.

"It was said that he saved Yoritomo-sama." Someone whispered while another said: "He seemed to have said something mysterious about the full moon being covered by too much cloud." (1)

"I am sure that Kagetoki would be able to explain this." Tamako assured them.

"That is so, hahaue." Saku added. "I am sure that aniue knows what he is doing."

"Saku-chan, will you come to the market with me?" Tamako suggested as they left Kagetoki's mother. "I would like to prepare a really good meal for your mother tonight, so I would need your help to choose the right food.

They naturally had servants in their house due to it's size, as well as their own position. However, because they were not of an extremely high status- a contrast to Rurihime- there were times when they would take part in the house chores.

"…look at that woman, that is Hōjō Tamako. Her husband is Kajiwara Kagetoki." Someone was whispering to her neighbour. "That marriage is bound to end in tears as I heard that he killed her brother in a recent war."

Saku noticed that her sister-in-law's hand actually tightened over the basket she was holding, casing the bamboos to squeak loudly.

"Saku-dono, would you mind if I rest for a while?" Tamako said with a weak smile.

How could she not agree?

Tamako and Kagetoki had been married for five years, so Saku was close with her sister-in-law. Therefore, the possibility of her leaving did made her sad, as well as being very alarmed due to what affect this would have on her brother.

"This is something that Kagetoki and I once talked about." Tamako began. "It is something that we have accepted. After all, there is no choice. When you fight in a battle, you will have to kill others to survive. But it is just that the other happened to be my brother."

Saku had already heard a similar thing, but that was before this actually happened. By this time, she already realised that theory was not always the same as practice.

"Saku-chan, do you think that I plan to wait for your brother to come back and then avenge my own brother by stabbing Kagetoki when we are in bed?"

"Of course not!" Saku quickly said, blushing. At fourteen years old, she was starting to realise why their servants often laugh about the number of times her brother tended to go to her sister-in-law's room to sleep. (2)

"But Tamako-dono, how is it possible for you to not blame aniue at all?" Saku asked. "If anything happens to aniue then I…"

"I am upset at what happened as my brother is my brother. However…" at this Tamako took off the hair accessory she wore very often and stared hard at the kobashi flowers. "I realised that I had to make a choice between my family and your brother. I choose your brother because he is much more important to me. Perhaps…" she added very softly. "He is the most important person to me."

"I do not understand just yet. How is it that you can suddenly love a stranger so much." Saku said softly.

"…I think you will know what it is like soon. After all, you are almost grown up now." Tamako pointed out before she suddenly chuckled. "Although I am not sure what Kagetoki would say about this. He still thinks that you are quite young. Although he and I were engaged when we were both just a bit older then you right now, Saku-chan."

Initially, Tamako had addressed Saku as 'dono', but due to the numerous times that her husband complained about: "Why are you calling my little sister in such a formal way when you are my wife?" or "Don't you feel that –dono automatically creates a distance?". Later on, Tamako would point out that Saku tended to use 'dono' too, which caused Kagetoki to change his strategy. "Saku is too stubborn, but if you work with me by not sticking to protocol that much, then we might be able to change it" and "Hearing Saku-dono is so strange, should I call you Tamako-dono as well?"

Due to a mixture of bribe and threat, Tamako ended up calling her sister-in-law 'Saku-chan'

"I have made my decision…I will remain with your brother, my husband, no matter what." Tamako declared out. "Regardless of what he has done, or what he will do."

At that time, neither of them considered the possibility of Kagetoki deciding otherwise.

* * *

It was almost evening when Tamako and Saku returned, and they noticed that there was a very strange atmosphere in the house.

"Tamako-sama, Saku-sama," one the servants began. "Kagetoki-sama has returned."

"Really?" Tamako whispered out. "Then that is really good…that is really good."

"But there is something very strange about him – " the servant's words were cut off due to that very said person appearing.

"Aniue…" Saku began, but her brother actually walked pass her and grabbed onto his wife's hand.

"Tamako, there is something I must tell you."

Both women were very surprised as he was not like this.

"Kagetoki…" Tamako began. Not fully sure of why, she wanted to delay the words that he would say. "Perhaps you should rest first."

"I am a coward, so I must say it now." Kagetoki said as he began to walk, almost tugging his wife.

There was something very uneasy about the mood and it was worsened by the silence that she did not know how to break.

Kagetoki only stopped when they reached to a particular temple. At this, Tamako frowned and indicated that she did not want to stop here.

They had been here once, and they witnessed a scene of an abused woman running to seek refugee here. Her husband had chased after her and his words had certainly been very profane.(3)

"Let us stop here." Kagetoki said as he guided Tamako to the gate, but not into the temple. He touched her, but he has yet to embrace her or even touch her in an intimate way, which she was very surprised at.

The reason was because he did not dare to. If he did, then he might lose his resolution.

"Do you know what happened to your aniue?" he finally began. He did not want to look at her for the fear of her expression, yet for the same reason, he was almost staring at her. If showed revulsion, then it might be easier for both him and her. "I killed him…by my gun. Do you know what this means?"

She was sad, but that was all. She did not condemn him for doing what he must to survive.

"I am also working for Yoritomo-sama." He continued. "The reason is simple. I would have died if I refuse. Therefore, I am a traitor to the Heishi."

"I can accept this." she continued. "Besides, my father and sister both…"

She was forced to stop because Kagetoki suddenly began to laugh. However, it was a rather disturbed type of laughter. Not the type he shared with her, or the type he would deliberately use to assure others.

It was one of exhaustion.

"Tamako, can't you just yell at me for a while if only to make me feel better?" he muttered. "I really…I really don't know how I should do this."

"Kagetoki?" this time, she was really alarmed. "Let us go home. You can say whatever you want there…after you had a rest."

"Tamako…" he took a deep breath before he said these words. These words that he never would have thought that he would say.

"Tamako, I wish to divorce you." (4)

Her hand, which reached to touch his face, halted.

"…what?" that was the only thing she could say. Her mind become completely blank and all that she could hear were these words repeating over and over.

Kagetoki did not feel the silence as he was thinking what his next sentence should be. Yoritomo and Masako decided that they would say that this was their order- they wanted Kagetoki to divorce Tamako so that Tokimasa would not be that powerful.

This was not charity, but a game. Would he have the courage to tell his wife that this cruelty was due to him?

"Why?" Tamako could finally say another word.

She did not demand him to tell her that he was joking because she knew that he was not. She knew what he was like too well.

…no, not well enough as she never foresee this.

"Yoritomo-sama wishes for this, so your father would not be too powerful." He began.

"And you just accept this?" Tamako whispered.

"…I think it is best. After all…Saku and Hahaue would be very well looked after by them. Do you know what I mean by this?" it seemed that he was not brave enough, because he was pushing away the blame and even trying to gain some sympathy from her.

"Why can't I stay then? If I stay…then surely nothing can be done without them knowing! Chichiue…would never be able to do anything, not that he would!"

"But divorcing you will be a message to Tokimasa-dono."

She interrupted him by slapping him.

"What does chichiue or Yoritomo-sama matters now?! It is you and I that are involved!" she yelled out.

"Tamako…do you remember the time when we were in Kyo?" at that moment, she realised that the way he spoke was very frightening- his voice was almost flat. "I had been very sad at you leaving Kyo because at that time, I thought that being in love should mean that the one I love would always be with me. However, I now realised otherwise…"

"Kagetoki, what right do you have to make my choice for me?" Tamako whispered. "For me, I wish to always be with the one that I love. Kagetoki…please don't send me away."

"This is what Yoritomo-sama wants." The reason that he hated this was not just because it showed his cowardliness, but because this was a lie. He didn't even have the courage to tell her the truth.

"Then tell him that it is a crap idea!" she yelled out. "There is no need for this! Kagetoki…what type of man are you to just accept this?"

"I accept this as I think if it for the best."

"Because I will not be a hostage…unlike your sister and mother? Do you think that you are protecting me? You are not." She hissed. "I will have to go back to Izu and I doubt that chichiue would not do anything. I might end up having to re-marry and that is a punishment!"

"That," he repeated once more, "might be for the best."

She slapped him once more.

"What…and you call yourself a man?"

"Traitors and cowards are still men." He muttered. "Tamako, it is better if you do not have anything to do with me."

"That is not for you to decide! I…I am your wife!"

"…I have made my decision." He said in that still flat voice. "Tamako, go and stay in this temple. Your father will find you here. I will send your possessions back to Izu. Do not…" he said very grimly. "Dare to come back to our…to my house."

At this, he prepared to turn away, he could no longer look at her as he knew that she was going to cry.

"Kagetoki…I am your wife." She whispered again. "You love me! I am your wife…the wife your father and mother both picked."

"I am the head of the family so I can divorce you if I wish, and I do."

He made the mistake of pausing because she managed to grab onto him, her arms circling his waist. However, his body actually stiffened as this was something that he could no longer allow.

"…do you not love me anymore?" her voice indicated that she was indeed crying.

"I do. I always will. But that is why I have to do this."

"Why won't you fight to have me stay with you?"

"I do not want to, because I think it is better if you are no longer my wife."

"…Kagetoki." Her voice was suddenly very cold. "Do you really think that I will just smile and walk into the temple and wait for my father? Do you think that I am that meek?"

"I do not think that you will…unless you must."

He has done and would do many things that he was ashamed of, but the worst ones would always be the acts of betrayal.

"Tamamko, I will not ask for your forgiveness, as I think it is better if you hate me."

He was a bushi so he had weaponry skills. Therefore, he knew where to strike and hurt without killing the person. Yet his hands were actually trembling because this was one of the hardest things that he has ever done.

He tended to fight with his gun and/or onmyodo, although there were times when he did need to use a katana. However, he has never really used the dagger before.

The dagger was drawn without any sounds and he then turned with his gaze lowered so he would not see her face.

…he stabbed her.

The wound was not deep, but it had to have some bleeding in order to let the nuns in the temple see him as someone they must prevent Tamako from seeing again. Therefore, she had to bleed quite a bit.

The hair accessory he had given her was tucked into the fold of her clothes, so the white flowers were dyed red.

"Tamako, do not approach me again."

He then turned around without even looking back at her…he could not even look at her.

Then the tears began to fall. He did not return home until sometimes later because he could not stop crying.

He loved Tamako so much, yet he sent her away and it was a permanent parting…it could only be a permanent parting. Not only would Tokimasa see this as an insult, he doubt that Tamako could forgive him. Even if she could, she would believe that he would injure her…that was the extent he would do in order to get rid of her.

No woman would return to such a man.

Yet this would be for the best…she would be safe this way.

He took out the pouch she had made and this would be the only reminder of how she was once his beloved wife. Yet this object seemed to be laughing at him as he could hear his words to her…the foolish plans and dreams of the future that would never be.

"Tamako…I am so sorry."

* * *

Kagetoki's plan worked very well because the nuns insisted on Tamako staying there and they were almost guarding her. After all, she and her husband were seen arguing and then she was stabbed.

"If I could talk to him again…" Tamako whispered. It was foolish, but she was not able to just accept this.

Who could help her? Who would help her? Kagetoki was no doubt one of the most hated men to her father due to what he has done. The killing of his son and the divorce and injury of his daughter. Her father's arrival would be disastrous.

Her beloved aneue was gone and the new being had been responsible for the current situation. Tamako considered writing to her mother-in-law or sister-in-law for help, but she was sure that Kagetoki would intercede the letters.

…wait, did she not have a rather special friend?

Surely Kunihira would help.

Before she heard any thing from him, she would first have to go back to Izu. After all, there was no where else for her to go. When one's husband divorced you, you could only rely on your father or brother.

"I am going to do something…I will find something I can do!" Tokimasa immediately yelled out upon seeing his daughter. "This is too much! He has gone too far."

"Chichiue…no one saw what had happened." Tamako said steadily as she placed a hand over her now bandaged wound. "Only I know the truth."

"…Tamako, you will lie for this man despite what he did?" Tokimasa said in disbelieve.

"Not 'this man', chichiue. He is my husband." She said very stubbornly.

Some days later, longer then what Tamako had thought, Kunihira actually arrived in Izu. Even though it would properly not be fully proper, Tamako still greeted him by embracing him. He would always remember that embrace.

"I went to go to Kamakura first." Kunihira explained and his expression was very grim. "Tamako…surely Kagetoki was lying."

"Lying?" she suspected what he was going to ask because he was staring at the place of her wound.

"This will definitely be very inappropriate, but I need to know!" before she could even scream to stop him, he stretched out his hand and tore her kimono open.

"…but it might not have been Kagetoki!" Tamako said desperately when her secret was revealed.

"And are you going to say that you did it yourself?" Kunihira said very grimly before a long silence descended, only to be broken by a: "I am glad that I punched him."

"But did he tell you why?" she asked as she quickly tidied her clothes.

"My guess is that his mother and sister's wellbeing will depend on him." Kunihira reasoned out. "So the idea of divorcing you is meant to be him protecting you."

"But it is not for him to decide-" Tamako was going to continue when Kunihira suddenly had a very emotional outburst.

"That idiot! If he is a man then he should have let himself die!"

"Kunihira!"

"He lives by being a slave to Yoritomo where he is forced to divorce his wife, and where his family are hostages." Kunihira continued as he smashed a fist into the tatami. "He is better off dead!"

"…is it really a sin to want to live?" Tamako whispered.

"You defend him even now?" Kunihira examined in shock. "Tamako…it is better that you are divorced."

"Aren't you just the same as him! Deciding my happiness and choosing for me!" she yelled out. "I do not care what you two or my father thinks, but Kagetoki is my husband."

"Tamako, he stabbed you!"

"You don't have proof- "

This was too much for Kunihira. The fact that she was still clinging onto her husband…his best friend…even though what happened should have changed this. Most of all, she was still only thinking about Kagetoki at this situation!

He still loved her! It had been five years since Kunihira last saw Tamako, but he still loved her!

Therefore, this was too much. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he kissed her very roughly.

His grip and force was so tight that she could not break free despite struggling greatly. However, she continued to resist until he pulled back.

At this, a very hard slap was given, and she then slapped him a second time with the back of her hand.

"How dare you!" she hissed. "Is this some sort of a twisted joke or…"

"Unfortunately for both of us, it is not." He said as he let go of her. "Tamako, I have been in love with you ever since I was in Kyo with you and Kagetoki. If Kagetoki is going to be stupid then he will suffer for his mistakes."

She did not speak, she only continue to stare at him with an emotion that he would not decipher.

"There is no point in looking at me like that, Tamako. Do you think that I would be affected after seeing what you and Kagetoki were like together?" he said calmly, even coldly. "Besides, this is Kagetoki's fault for being so ungrateful."

"Am I supposed to be grovelling at this generosity then…Kunihira-dono?"

The use of this honourifx she had not used for such a long time actually hurt him more then the slap.

"It is for myself as well…" Kunihira admitted. "Kagetoki is the only one I will give you up to. But your father will certainly will agree…"

His words were stopped very sharply upon her raising a dagger, which must have been hidden by the fold of her clothing.

"…I am not brave enough either." Tamako said bitterly, with the dagger still raised. "I am like Kagetoki. I don't want to die. However…" at this, her eyes became very cold. If you rape me then I will kill myself. Is that understood…Kunihira-dono?"

When she suddenly moved the dagger, Kunihira actually let out a yell even as he moved to grab it away. However, it was her hair that she swung the weapon at.

The hair fell down and they continued to fall until her hair was barely chin length.

"Despite all this," Kunihira declared out without any hesitation. "I will still marry you, Tamako."

* * *

**_Notes_**_:_

_(1)__ This is what the real Kagetoki is supposed to have said when he explained why he let Yoritomo go in this battle._

_(2)__ I have a feeling that in their time, if you go to your wife's room, you are sleeping with her. However, in Kagetoki's case their relationship is sort of 'modern'. He just want to have her company, he is not always sleeping with her._

_(3)__ I think in the Kamakura period, woman could only seek refugee from their husband this way. I think the real Hojo Masako actually built a temple in Kamakura that is known as the divorce temple. However, I am not sure whether this would apply to the time that they live in. as mentioned, they live in the pre-Kamakura period and it seems that they are undergoing many changes. It seems that women are only beginning to live with their husband. I feel that the marriage system in the Heian period probably allow woman to have more power as they are not living with their husband, they are not subjected to their husband. _

_(4)__ Their divorce is actually quite problematic as well because I have not really find out how couple divorce at that time- especially in this period. I think in the late Kamakura period, a woman could divorce their husband if they run to seek refugee in the temple- the divorce temple. I am not sure how man actually divorces their wife, but I did read that they could only do so if they argue that their wife is barren or he is making her into a state of deep sorrow. But they seem to be in the Heinan period. One source said that what happened was that the husband would send the wife this three lines which would mean that they are divorcing, while another source said that there is actually not divorce for woman, a husband might just stop coming to visit her. _

_In the end, I guess what I did is sort of a mixture and I think it should be right. The three lines does not seem to be in this period, yet…what happened is that Kagetoki actually did the formal procedure of announcing that he want to divorce Tamako and then divorce he__r_


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

_"The arrow of treachery,_

_The wound that would not disappear_

_You are always in the centre of my memories"_

_(__満月は夜空の真珠__)_

The room seemed much too big now. The space made it seem even emptier. Even worse was the fact that Kagetoki could still remember the one who was here so well. He was sure that this room was not that empty before.

He know very well what people were saying of him- the traitor, the dog, the coward due to a new power. The fact that some part of this was due to jealousy did not make him feel better at all.

It had been a few months since the divorce and a lot has happened. One of the most important one would be that Yoritomo actually set up a base in Kamakura. Not only was it bad enough at how often he had to see his new master, Masako was there too.

Kagetoki often wonder whether Masako despise him for what he decided to do because she would often mention Tamako, achieving pleasure at his obvious discomfort that was really at the expense of Tamako.

Perhaps it was the fact that he choose to divorce her and accept their orders so meekly? Or was it because he did not tell Tamako that this was actually his idea? Therefore, Yoritomo and Masako were the victims.

"Masako-sama, you sent for me?" he asked as he bent his head- it seemed that he was surprisingly good at this.

"Oh, there is no need to look so grim, this is not a business meeting!" Masako said with a wave of her fan. "But a rather personal one."

"Is this about Tamako-dono?" he quickly added that last bit in.

"Right on the first guess!" Masako said merrily, but her tone then became very serious. "I did once wonder, whether my sister's lie about Fujiwara no Kunihira was based on some type of fact. Did the close friend and the fiancée really did dislike one another due to some type of jealousy. However, I now feel that it might have been the complete opposite.

"Instead of Kunihira-dono being jealous of my sister receiving your attention, is it not the other way around? Kunihira-dono was jealous of you for receiving my sister's love?"

"Most likely." Kagetoki admitted, as he thought of the very revealing conversation he had with his best friend. "Although I did not realise it until recently, and I doubt that Tamako knew at all."

"She would know now." at this, Masako tapped to the letter in front of her. "This is from my father. He tells me that Tamako is now married to Fujiwara no Kunihira, and she is in Hiraizumi."

If she expected a dramatic reaction, then she would have been severally disappointed.

"Are you not surprised?"

This could result in an honest answer. The question: "Are you happy?" would have been a bit too much.

Kunihira had come to see him and Kagetoki was not surprised. But his assumption for the reason of the visit was wrong because the relationship between Kunihira and Tamako was not just a special friendship between two people of the opposite gender. Therefore, Kunihira was not just a third party helping out his two friends.

"Kagetoki, I received a letter from Tamako." Kunihira began. They were sitting inside, but Kunihira had seen that there were activities that clearly resembled packing.

"…it is true." Kagetoki answered bitterly. "I divorced her."

"I thought you love her." Kunihira yelled out. "Surely you will not just abandon her that way if you actually love her!"

"It is for the best…Kunihira, what exactly did Tamako tell you in her letter?"

Kunihira choose the quickest method: the letter was handed to Kagetoki. But then, it was never a very personal one that she wrote to him. He had been a bit surprised at the arrival of the letter as he saw that it only contained her writing upon quickly scanning it.

"…Kunihira, the walls in this house have ears." Kagetoki said softly as he handed the letter back. No…it is better to say that the nearby houses have eyes and ears.

Kunihira was like Kagetoki in that aspect: he did not like to think of the serious and political issues that much, but this was because he choose to act in such a way. After all, he was the son of the ruler of Hiraizumi. (1)

"Kagetoki, why did you agree in the first place?" he asked very softly.

"I wanted to live…or perhaps I just didn't want to die." Kagetoki admitted. Because it was his best friend, he admitted the truth. "Even if this is the consequence."

"Even if Tamako would not be there?"

"Tamako is safe…I realised that being happy does not always mean that she would be right beside me. This is better."

"…Kagetoki, draw out your sword." Upon finishing his sentence, his own sword was already in his hand.

"Are you that mad at me?" Kagetoki muttered as he placed a hand on the weapon that he rarely used. "You know what my skills are like. It will not be a proper duel."

"I am not challenging you to a duel. I just want to hack and cut something. Unless you stop me then I will just start at that direction."

"Kunihira…why are you so angry?"

"Because you are going to divorce Tamako and send her away like that!" Kunihira's words were not an idle threat because he really swung his blade forward and Kagetoki only just managed to block it. However, the force was so strong that Kagetoki saw his own blade vibrating.

"You are fortunate enough to marry Tamako and have her love you!" Kunihira continued. "Yet you will just give her up like this! What type of a man are you? Others….others can not even admit this!"

"…others such as yourself?" Kagetoki said very softly- his tone and voice a complete contrast to his best friend. "If that is so…I am sorry."

Sorry for never realising it. He was sure that he and Tamako actually ended up making Kunihira undergone so much more pain.

"But Kunihira…what do you seek to achieve?"

Strangely, the fact that what he felt was said made Kunihira felt much calmer as he actually sheathed his blade.

"I want Tamako to be happy. It is different from you though…you are doing something that upsets her."

"It is too late, I have made my decision." Kagetoki said very firmly. "I will not change my decision."

"Even though it will hurt her? Her letters show this so clearly!"

"Even if I hurt her! This is better for her!"

This was finally too much for Kunihira. However, his rage did not allow him to give any warning. His hand curled into a fist and this was delivered accurately and painfully.

"Kagetoki, I love Tamako but I never resented you even though I did envy you." Kunihira said very slowly, and his hands were still clenched together. Kagetoki would not have been surprised if a second punch was delivered. "After all, it is not your fault. You met her first and you were engaged to her, and then you two were in love. This all happened before I met you two. However, if you would abandon her like this…"

"I have given the matter much thought, Kunihira." Kagetoki said steadily. "It was all that I could think of! However…my resolution is firm. Kunihira…I even struck her with a dagger. This is how firm my resolution is."

"If you will do whatever you want then I will do what I believe is necessary." Kunihira finally said after a long silence. "Kagetoki…I accepted you with Tamako because you met and love her first. However…this is all."

The parting words were a rather clear indication of what would happen. However, Kagetoki forced himself to not think of it.

Tamako being married to Kunihira…Tamako being married to another man…someone else would be sleeping beside her or with her. He could not help but to keep on thinking of that fact. Yet it was stupid because he had told Tamako that he did not care.

But then, that had been one of the best performances in his whole life.

This…this should not be something that makes him sad. Didn't he tell both Tamako and Kunihira that it would be better if Tamako was not by his side, and that being in love did not mean that you always want that person beside you, as that might not be the best for them.

Kunihira would be a good husband. Not only did Kagetoki know what type of man his best friend was, there was an even more important factor: the other was in love with Tamako.

In addition, Hiraizumi was a very powerful place. Tamako would be safe there.

"Why is it that I cannot be the one to protect you?" he suddenly whispered out, unable to contain his emotions anymore. "Why is it that I can only protect you by pushing you away?"

It was fairly late when he got home and this was definitely intentional. He was not fully ready to face his family yet, as they were both naturally unhappy at his decision. Since they did not realise that he made it impossible for Tamako to come back, since he never told anyone about how he stabbed her, they both indicated a wish for him to get her back.

This would put an end to it.

However, it was still quite hard for him as he could and would never tell any the truth. If Tamako was there…at least one person would understand his feelings. There had been many times when she did make him feel so much better just by listening to him and telling him that it was not fully his fault.

At the very least, someone had been on his side and knows the truth. He did not need to pretend in front of her.

Despite the amount of time that had passed, he still went to the now empty room. However, it was not empty today.

"Hahaue?"

"This seemed that she was never here." His mother said slowly. "Is this your intention?"

"I merely returned all her possessions." He reasoned before he changed the subject. "But hahaue, should we not leave here? It is a bit cold here."

"Kagetoki, is it necessary for you to make this room completely empty? If you really want to forget the marriage…then it is best for you to marry another."

"I can't do that!" he yelled this out before he could even control himself. "I mean…not right now.

His mother merely smiled, although it was a sad one. After all, she did expect this answer. "Kagetoki, why did you divorce her? Not only had this been a marriage that your father choose for you, you were in love with her. In addition, you clearly do not wish to re-marry."

"Just not so soon. I will re-marry eventually." He had to as he was the only son in this rather small family. "But just not now."

"But why did you divorce her?" the question was repeated once more.

"…it was necessary, hahaue." He whispered. "And that is all I will say. So please, don't ask me anymore."

His mother had always been a small woman, but a mother was still a mother. Therefore, when she gently patted Kagetoki, the son suddenly felt as if he was a child again.

"I am your mother, Kagetoki." She said gently. "Therefore, I do not wish to see you be sad and I can see how painful this divorce is for you. However, you are very different from your sister that way, as you would force yourself to laugh when you wish to cry. Yet you had been very different when Tamako-dono was here."

"But it is too late, hahaue. She re-married. Therefore…please don't…don't talk to me of this anymore."

"Very well." She finally promised. "Kagetoki, I am going to attend to some business of the house."

This was really her telling him that she would leave him, which was what he wanted.

She had only walked a few steps before she saw her other child. She really ought to be thinking of the matter of Saku's marriage, but the war had delayed it as she had wanted to discuss it with her son. It would now be delayed even more because how could she ask her son to arrange a marriage when he was suffering so much from his divorce?

"Hōjō Tamako has remarried." She said to her daughter. "And perhaps it is time for us to let it go."

"But how can aniue just accept this! Tamako-dono loves him so much! She even chose him over her family!"

"I still do not know why, but I think your brother must have his own reason. Therefore, we have to accept it. After all, it is his life."

"But hahaue…"

"Listen Saku, sometimes there are things that simply just happen." She said grimly. "You can only accept it because there is no other way."

* * *

A few days later, Kagetoki went to see both Yoritomo and Masako, and unlike the last meeting, this was a business meeting. Kagetoki was to go to Kyo to deliver a very important message.

That was the official but secondary task.

The real purpose of his visit was to kill someone.

"Is this the price of survival?" he whispered out as he began to arrange for his departure.

But it was more then that, it was the price of his family's safety. However, in his moments of self loathing made him wonder whether he would have made a different choice if he was alone in the world without any family.

"It is nothing interesting- something about the recent battle and a decision made by Yoritomo-sama." He had laughed easily due to his mother pointing that he seemed rather worried. "Surely you two know what I am like? I might screw this up by accidentally losing the message or even deliver it to the wrong house."

It was an exaggeration, but he seemed to be merry.

It was rather late, but he was not able to go to sleep. He was in his own room and it actually felt rather alien. Not only did the war made him be away for some time, he actually almost always slept in Tamako's room.

"You are giving the servant's gossip." Tamako had laughed as she nestled against him. "I even heard someone say this: 'Kagetoi-sama must be really strong since he is with Tamako-sama every night. Although it is strange, because their room is not always loud'."

"Why do they presume that I will be doing that every night just because I sleep here every night?" he muttered. "So many of our maids would giggle whenever they see me."

"But isn't that what most noblemen are like? They go to their wife's room for the purpose of doing that." She said before she smiled in content. "But I am happy, I like having you right beside me, even if we are not doing that."

She then kissed him and he could see the laughter in her eyes. "However, I have to say, I like doing that too…"

One of the first things he needed to get use to was actually sleeping alone. He was too used to having a warm body beside him, which he usually held as he slept.

The nights were often cold now and that merely reminded him of memories with her. There was a time when he blew her hand until they were warm, and times when she wanted to pull the blanket over her head due to her reluctance at getting up.

Someone tapped on his door lightly and it was followed by a rather soft: "Aniue, are you still awake?"

"Saku? You should really be sleeping." He said in surprise. "Besides, this is not fully proper."

"I will go to sleep soon, but it is just that…hahaue said that you still seemed a bit worried and it was not just due to what you said."

"You two really are perceptive." He said lightly. "I give up then, I will tell the truth. It is because of the prospect of being in Kyo again."

He realised how good he was at lying as he could actually use the truth as a lie.

"Does aniue not like Kyo?"

"No, it is the opposite. I was really happy in Kyo…with Tamako and Kunihira." As he said this, there was a rare seriousness in his voice. However, he did not give his sister much time to think, or even to link the name to the recent visitor, as his tone soon become very light once more. "But thinking about that would not do any good and it might make things worse by giving me insomnia."

"Aniue…how is it that you can still laugh like this?"

"…if I don't laugh, Saku, I might start weeping." He said honestly before he told her: "I think we both need to rest now."

When he lied back down, he couldn't help but to think of what would happen if Tamako was here. Would he have ended up telling her the truth? Would she have discovered the truth?

* * *

Kyo did not seem to be that different, but did he really know much about Kyo? When he thought of Kyo, what came to mind were the memories of the three of them. They had been really happy here. It was probably a bit different and difficult for Kunihira, but Kagetoki was sure that there were times when his friend had been really happy too.

Kagetoki thought that he could see the three youth who looked forward to the future as they did not realise what it would be like. Who would have thought that he and Tamako would divorce and she would now be Kunihira's wife?

Tamako and Kunihira…he did not think that she would be willing to accept it. Even though she did not seem to have done anything like Masako, he knew that she would struggle at it in her own way. Kunihira…he would probably allow this due to his own guilt.

Perhaps, Kagetoki hoped desperately, it could end up being a happy marriage after sometime.

Yet he knew what Tamako was like. Also…he himself knew that he would not change.

The house he was meant to go to was approaching and he paused for a while in order to collect and compose his thoughts. He needed all the concentration that he could get.

The task was pretty straightforward: Yoritomo needed a man to be dead and Kagetoki was given the task of making that a reality. Most knew that someone might be sent to kill him, so the man was very prepared.

Therefore, it was up to Kagetoki to find a way.

He did have a very useful tool that Yoritomo lent a message of possible forgiveness.

"Destroy it as soon as you used it." Were the firm instructions. After all, if this was known, then it would have a severe effect.

"And am I given it because they know that I am too cowardly to act otherwise?" he said to himself bitterly.

As well as capable of doing it.

The man himself was a complete stranger to Kagetoki, but he knew that he must end this stranger's life. After all, the price of this task was the safety of his mother and sister. This was the real reward…the reward that he cared about.

Everything went surprisingly well, which made the whole situation very disturbing.

The other merely bent his head down for a while and that was when Kagetoki struck. Taking the dagger, he struck with full force. (2)

It was all finished…

Some blood actually splashed onto his hand and he wonder whether he could truly wash it off. Even though he quickly wiped it off, he could still smell the blood there.

Was he really right to decide on this path? Yet it was too late, as he was already walking on it.

As he walked out on the streets, he felt that it seemed he was finally allowing himself to see everything properly. Beneath the grandeur of the city, there was actually a very great uneasiness there. (3)

He looked down at his hand and wonder whether he could still do something about this. Perhaps he could wear gloves. That way, the blood that could not be washed off would not stain his hand. One of the reason he liked doing the washing was due to how he could make a dirty cloth restored to its original status. (4)

Humans, however, were not able to do this so easily.

He decided that he would get these clothes washed as soon as he could. Even though it was probably just self-denial, at least he would feel a bit better when he knew that his clothes were clean.

* * *

Instead of returning straight home when he arrived in Kamakura, Kagetoki actually went to see Yoritomo first. Then he would return home. But it was no longer a home where his wife would smile and greet him with a 'welcome back'.

Perhaps he was thinking of the past too much, but this did not mean that he should have to face this situation. As soon as he stepped in the house, his mother said this to him: "Saku is insistent on marrying a stranger."

"Who is this man then?" Kagetoki asked urgently.

"She tells me that he is a nobleman from Kyo."

His sister was in the garden with the man she intended to marry and the way she was being held really made Kagetoki feel quite embarrassed. He could only hope that he and Tamako had never been that bad, at least not in front of Kunihira.

"Saku, will you introduce us?" he began after a tactful cough. However, this man actually did not let go of Saku even though they both turned around.

"I am Kokuryuu." The man said and Kagetoki did not miss the sudden change of expression on his sister's face.

"Do even people in Kyo have this kind of a name?" Kagetoki almost made the mistake of saying this out aloud.

"Kokuryuu, will you let me be the one who speaks?" Saku quickly said with a sweet smile.

"Of course, whatever you want I wish for you to have. I wish to let you have whatever you want because I love you so much."

At this, Saku smiled and quickly led her brother to be some distance away.

"Aniue," Saku declared out very firmly. "I am going to marry this man and return to Kyo with him. I love him and I am certain that I will always love him."

"Saku, how long have you know this man?" he asked reasonably.

"Not very long." The young girl admitted. "But I know that I love him."

"Is it not better to wait a bit…"

"Aniue, I am fifteen years old now." she said very stubbornly. "Aniue, I asked Tamako-dono about how she would remain with you even if you killed her brother and she told me that she could accept this as she chooses you, as you are the most important person to her. I now understand what she means, because I have found the most important person to me."

"…what would you to if I say no?" he finally said after a pause, and this would be a test to her resolution.

"I will run away and marry him!" she shouldn't have added the next bit, but she did. "Unlike aniue, I wish to always be with the one that I love."

She regretted it the moment she said it, as her brother as clearly very upset. However, it was her brother who quickly prevented the situation from being too awkward.

"But then, brothers always get jealous when their younger sister marries. This is probably why." He laughed.

However, Kagetoki quickly become very serious once more. "Saku, I agree with this so you will be able to marry him. Therefore…there is something that I wish to know. Saku, who is Kokuryuu-dono? I wish to know the truth."

"What do you mean, aniue? He is a nobleman from Kyo. That is all." Saku declared out.

"I feel very…strange when I stand close to him." Kagetoko continued. "Yet…"

It was not an alien feeling. He had felt a similar thing on that day, when Masako suddenly demonstrated that very unusual power. (5)

"Aniue, you are thinking too much!" Saku laughed guiltily. "I have to go back to Kokuryuu…he doesn't like me being out of his sight for that long. However, he would be really happy when he hears the news."

It was an unnatural feeling, but Kagetoki did not have anything that he could do.

"Saku." He suddenly called out, resulting in his sister pausing and turning back to look at him.

Kagetoki forced a very cheerful smile as he said this: "Be happy, Saku, always be happy."

The brother could no longer have a happy marriage, so he hoped that his sister could.

"Be happy in Kyo with Kokuryuu-dono."

* * *

**_Notes_**

_(1)__ Kunihira in my story is really shown as a really cheerful guy, but given who he was, I really feel that this was just because he chooses to be like this. To not worry._

_(2)__ The real Kagetoki is supposed to have killed this guy by being really fast. Apparently this guy was on guard as he knows that Yoritomo want to do something to him. Kagetoki actually invite this other guy to play a game with him, and when the other guy bent his had down to examine the pieces, Kagetoki pulled out his sword and killed that guy. Apparently the speed he drew out his sword was really amazing._

_(3)__ I think Kagetoki, like Tamako, had really idealised Kyo as they were really happy there. In addition, they never bothered to look at Kyo properly. They were really just focusing on how to enjoy themselves._

_(4)__ I am not sure whether Kagetoki said this in the original game, but in the expansion this was the reason he gave to explain why he like doing the washing so much. However, one of his character songs did have him say this. That he like the idea of how a cloth, no matter how dirty it is, can become clean. As for the bit about his glove, I just suddenly had that idea. A… 'maybe this could be why' moment._

_(5)__ Saku did say that her brother suspected and my guess is that this is how Kagetoki managed._


	18. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen **

_"Rather than simply smiling and abandoning love_

_Perhaps one is stronger by weeping over it, losing yourself in it."_

_~ (__緋色の涙の女よ__)_

Saku's marriage actually caused quite some problems. Firstly, many of their relatives were disapproving of the fact that Kagetoki allowed his sister to marry a stranger who had no proof of his identity. Secondly, even though Saku had not been promised to anyone, there were expectations by some.

"The Kajiwara family seems to think that they are now above us just because their son worked for a new master." Someone whispered when Saku went to the market, while others said: "Never mind the fact that Kagetoki actually divorced his own wife just due to an order.

There were many attack targeted at her husband. Even though her brother had warned her about this, it still made her very upset. To hear that Kokuryuu was accused of being a liar and even a thief was really painful. The worst bit was that she did not really know how to defend him because she could not tell them the truth.

The most painful part was that she had to lie to her own mother and brother.

However, she comforted herself with the promise that she would reveal everything when she and her husband solved the problems in Kyo, although she was not sure at what they would do. It was also for herself and Kokuryuu as well, she wished to be known as the priestess of the black dragon.

Her brother comforted and helped her when she needed, but most of the time, he just watched what happened with a rather strange expression: it was clear that he did not believe her words.

One day, it seemed that this was too much for her brother. Saku was not really surprised as she was sure that this would have happened.

"Don't worry, I won't force you to answer." Kagetoki assured her. "But I just need to know one thing: will you be alright in Kyo? Do you two have a place to stay?"

She nodded. However, she felt that she could not understand her brother at all. She herself loved Kokuryuu so much that even the thought of a brief parting from him would hurt.

"Aniue…how is it that you could bear to let Tamako-dono go?"

Kagetoki was clearly startled by this and it seemed that he was just going to leave the room without saying anything.

"Aniue!"

"…hasn't it been enough, Saku?" he finally said, just as he was about to leave. "Tamako is married to Kunihira and he will never let her go."

Kagetoki then left and he really hoped that his sister would be happy in her marriage even though he was still rather uncertain about her husband.

The fact that they were going to Kyo was also a bit alarming. After all, the situation in Kyo was not good at all. On the other hand, it might be good if she was no longer in Kamakura.

* * *

The situation, however, took a completely different turn. One day, Kokuryuu simply disappeared.

To many others, this was not surprising. Many whispered that he had to disappear as Saku and him were going to Kyo and this would then result to the real status of his identity being discovered, so he had to run away.

The worst bit was that some servants were saying the same too.

"Why else would he abandon Saku-sama?" one of the maids was saying. "Despite everything, I – Kagetoki-sama!"

Their master did not yell at them, which was what they expected most to do in his situation. However, a very serious expression replaced his usual smile.

"I wish that you would not repeat such rumours in my house. It is very hard for Saku." He said rather severally before he entered the room where his mother and sister were.

"…I know that he did not lie to you but he is gone and this is truly strange." Their mother was saying.

Saku was very still, almost immobile. More then once, their mother whispered that Saku seemed more like a corpse as she would not even more.

However…there was one thing that could cause a reaction.

"Kokuryuu did not lie to me!" Saku yelled out.

"But Saku…" their mother began again. "You must face the truth. He is gone."

"He would never go like that!" she started to cry and Kagetoki was going to suggest that they leave Saku alone when she suddenly yelled the following out.

"That person would never lie to me! He is not a liar!" this was not illogical at all, but the next bit…

"He really is Kokuryuu, he is the black dragon god! I saw his original form myself…he changed into a human right in front of me! I am his priestess!"

When he heard this, Kagetoki discovered that he was actually surprisingly calm about this. Even though he did not get the exact detail right, he already suspected that there was something very unusual about the other.

However, this then meant that Masako was in a slightly similar status. Tamako used the phrase: "I lost my aneue" While Masako said: "I am still Hōjō Masako, although Tamako disagrees." He had studied Onmyōdō, so it made sense.

However, this was not the most important thing right now.

"Saku, I believe you." he assured his sister. "However…it is dangerous to let other people know so."

"I agree." Their mother said. "Saku, I think it is better if you forget about all of this."

"How can I forget! Aniue, can you forget all about Tamako-dono?" she yelled back.

"Your brother's situation is different." Their mother began. "Saku, I really think that it would be better if you forget."

She shook her head firmly.

* * *

What happened was known to many, and Kagetoki decided to use this to his advantage. He asked permission to go to Kyo again to investigate the man who had 'tricked' his sister. In reality, he planned to discover something about the dragon god. Kyo would contain the most amount of information as the dragon gods protected Kyo.

"What a kind brother you are." Masako commented out. "A pity that you are not such a good husband."

It was not that long before he was in Kyo, but it seemed very different.

The place to start his research was easy- in the Abe family. It was quite easy for him to do so since he had connections there. (1)

"It is strange that you should be asking this as I had someone who asked me a similar question very recently." The man in charge of the scrolls and books said. "I remember it well because he specifically mentioned the black dragon."

"What was his name?" Kagetoki asked cautiously.

"I do not quite remember, but he was a monk."

Kagetoki's research did not provide much result since the situation was very different. There were no records of the dragon being in a human form. In addition, the previous priestesses had to summon the dragon god. (2)

The last priestess of the black dragon actually left some writing and the Abe family actually has it.

"Taira no Chitose belonged to a lesser branch of the Taira family and she then married Fujiwara no Yukitaka- who was a foster son of an important branch of the Fujiwara family." Was the brief introduction of the writer. (3)

The account was rather thin as it mainly detailed the black dragon's power and the writer's desire to protect Kyo. However, the end was rather interesting.

"…the two dragons are meant to be one being and the two priestesses are meant to be working together. I pray that no one would make the mistake we committed as we almost destroyed Kyo by our folly of fighting against each other."

Kagetoki memorised this bit because it was possible that they might one day meet the other priestess. Perhaps, he thought rather optimistically, it would be the other who could help Saku.

"Is there anything left by the last priestess of the white dragon?" Kagetoki asked hopefully.

A negative answer was given: "She disappeared after she summoned the unified dragon god with Chitose-hime."

His trip to Kyo really made him regret going because not only did it not give him any useful clues, it made the situation worse. The dragon god would summon their priestess when they needed their help due to some form of danger.

Saku actually waited for his return eagerly due to hoping for any form of news. The good thing was that she was getting better as she was no longer shuting herself in her room.

In fact, this must be the first time that he saw hope in her eyes again.

"I am sorry." He said simply. "I did not discover anything."

"Is that so?" Saku was clearly disappointed, but she still smiled at him. "Thank you, aniue."

He really thought that she recovered enough to continue living. He did not realise that his answer would cause such a reaction.

When they woke up the next day, Saku was gone. The note she left behind announced her intention of becoming a nun.

"Kagetoki, you must get her back!" his mother began, clearly very worried.

"I will, hahaue." He immediately assured her in order to calm her down. "But hahaue, did something happen when I was in Kyo?"

A long silence followed as it was sometimes before she was willing to nod.

"The gossips are still here, even in our own house." She said. "But it is also due to the fact that that many others would deliberately come to our house to offer insults. Most of all…I might have been a bit too insistent with my wish of her forgetting all about this."

Her daughter had burst into tears and yelled the following out: "I will not betray that person by being with any other man."

"Hahaue…is it really necessary for Saku to get married? We don't really need any alliances and she is not the one who would need to carry the family line." Kagetoki suddenly said. "Therefore, wouldn't it be better if we let her do whatever she wishes?"

"Kagetoki, you would have your sister mourn for the rest of her life?" his mother yelled out.

"No! But for Saku, forcing her to remarry now is clearly something that she will hate! However, if we let her do whatever she wants then she might at least come back to us and in time, she might be able to recover."

"Kagetoki, do you think that your sister will change her mind?"

"Not really…" Kagetoki admitted. "But at the very least, this is better then her living in the nunnery. At least she would be living more. If we force her to re-marry, she would probably run away at the very best."

"But I still think that it is better if she remarry instead of being bind by that…being!"

Kagetoki then knew that he had to use his last retort. He did not want to because this would definitely hurt her, and it was also rather unfair as well. However, he had to say it to let his mother realise that what she want would not be good at all.

"Hahaue…you already have a son who will not have a happy marriage due to him needing to remarry. Please don't let your daughter cause history to repeat itself."

* * *

When she heard that she had a visitor, Saku was not surprised at all. She has prepared for this- she knew what she would say. Most of all, she had made up her mind to stay here.

"Saku, there is no need for you to look like that." Kagetoki began. "I won't force you to do anything." At this, his tone became very gentle: "have I ever forced you to do something?"

She shook her head as this was the honest truth. Even though there were times when she was frustrated with her brother, she did not deny that he was a loving brother.

"Therefore, will you listen to me?" he continued gently.

"I will. But aniue, I will not go back."

"Because wishes for you to remarry?"

"That is so. I will never be with anyone but him." Saku declared out without any hesitation.

"I talked to hahaue about that and she says that she will not force you to remarry. Besides, you are still a nun even if you do not live in the temple." Kagetoki reasoned. "And if things get really bad then you will always be able to return to a nunnery."

"If I could then I rather be at home with you and hahaue." Saku admitted. "But aniue, not only will I not be forced to remarry, I do not wish to be pressed about such a topic at all."

"I shall talk to hahaue and see what I can do." he promised. "I…I know that our situation is very different but I can understand that feeling. Therefore…"

"But it is different! I will never give Kokuryuu up just due to an order!" she immediately yelled out.

"Perhaps this made me not deserve any sympathy, but does this mean that my pain is any less? Or does this mean that I love her any less?" Even though his tone was still the same volume, there was a sudden edge to it.

"But I cannot understand how aniue can let Tamako-dono go. Especially now!"

"Because it is better if she is not with me." Kagetoki finally said. However, he would never tell her the reason- as the real reason did involve Saku.

"Do you wish that she is with you?" Saku whispered. "Because I cannot stop thinking of that."

"Perhaps you were right, our situation is too different to be compared." Kagetoki said. "But Saku, you will be able to recover only if you allow yourself to."

"…if I allow myself to?"

'Right now, you are thinking only of Kokuryuu-dono. You need to think of other things. I know that it is not fair for me to say this, but…do you not realise how much this hurts hahaue and I? The fact that you choose to run away hurt so much more because we would no longer know what is happening to you."

"I…" at this, she began to cry again. "It is not as f I don't know! But this pain…"

"It would never be completely gone, that is true." Kagetoki admitted. "However, it is too dangerous if you let yourself be chained to it. Therefore…come back with me. I…this is foolish but he would not wish for you to be like this."

Because he himself actually wished that Tamako could end up being in love with Kunihira, as that would mean that she would be happy.

* * *

In the end, Saku did return with him and her decision was accepted once more. They decided to keep the real status of her husband as a secret, but it seemed that they were not the only ones who knew this. Kagetoki was certain that Masako knew this.

But then, Masako was clearly no ordinary human. By logical reasoning, she had to be a goddess since the one with the very similar feeling was a god. The impossible thing was the possible answer to an otherwise impossible question.

If Tamako was here then she would probably be able to answer quite a few questions for him.

It seemed that both he and his sister were rather unlucky in their marriage but he thought that he was luckier then Saku. Unlike her, he could take comfort in the fact that his decision made her fare better. At the very least, he knew that Tamako was safe and well."

But then, he realised, Tamako was in Saku's situation. She did not really have a choice. Not in the divorce or the remarriage.

Perhaps that was an additional reason to why he had been so insistent about Saku not remarrying if she did not wish to. It lessened his guilt slightly as he would not have an active reminder of the pain that he had caused.

"Tamako was very upset about her remarriage, but chichiue insisted." Masako had said. "I think she did ask to enter a nunnery if only to escape her marriage. She didn't succeed, but she cut her hair as an indication of her feelings." (4)

Kagetoki was actually rather upset at hearing this- he always thought that Tamako looked very pretty with her long hair and that was probably part of the reason that his first gift to her was a hair accessory. Or maybe he just liked her hair since the accessory was probably still wearable with short hair.

Perhaps not the length of Saku's hair…if she actually cut her hair that short…

Strangely, that upset him even more. The idea that she would no longer be wearing his gift.

He could still remember how the accessory had been stained by her blood…his doing. But even if the blood could be washed off…it would still be there.

Just like the blood that would always be on his hand.

Perhaps he longer had any right of touching her.

* * *

**_Notes_**_:_

_(1) __In the game, Kagetoki managed to find where the Hoshi-no-ichizuku was due to using his connection with the Abe family._

_(2) __I know that in the manga of the first game, there was a time that the dragon god appeared in a human form. However, I am working with the idea that the people of Kyo don't have that much knowledge of what happened, and what happened to Akane was not really recorded down, hence this is why that the people has no idea. I feel that this is not completely unreasonable, because why did no one know that there are two miko and two dragon gods? _

_(3) __My idea is that we never really get to find out what happened to Houko__ (my haruka 2 pc/oc)__, and this is partly because I don't want to bind my own story to an ending. If I say that she ended up with Akuram then it would seem that the official ending is her with Akuram. The fact that Chitose would not mention what happened even if Houko married her brother would still make sense, because Houko actually would stay with Katsuzane as a random person so that they would have a happy life- so no one would know that he married the ryuujin no miko. Regardless of what, Houko being the priestess ended after she summoned the god, because she would then return as Takakura Houko alone.__However, I seem to just always feel that Chitose would be with Yukitaka._

_(4) __Well, this is sort of true and sort of not. Tamako cut her hair due to a sudden impulsive moment after Kunihira kissed her, but this was probably what it meant. _


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

_"This pale flower is so similar to you_

_At the very least, perhaps I can pick it and keep it close to me."_

_~ (__心よ最果ての氷原に__)_

Kurou has actually been in Kamakura for quite some time, but Kagetoki did not get the chance to talk to him. When he finally did, he had been working for Yoritomo for more then a year.

If Kagetoki was asked to describe his life without lying then he would say that even though it could be better, it was not all bad. It was true that he was often doing jobs that he hated, as well as still apart from the woman that he loved, but there were good parts to it. He was able to provide for his family and he was seen as being a good servant, which was what a bushi needed to be.

Most of all, his sister was recovering.

Kagetoki had always enjoyed doing the laundry and it was also something that he used to have fun with Tamako. However, he was now even fonder of it. He enjoyed seeing how clean the clothes could become due to his own hands.

At the very least, his dirty hands could actually clean something. This task of doing the laundry actually became something that helped him to feel better- even if it was only a temporary relief.

Therefore, he thought that he could probably continue this life for quite sometime.

As for what would happen then…he'd figure it out at that time.

"Kurou-dono!" Kagetoki began, recalling how the other was said to have stayed at Hiraizumi for quite some time. Even though the time period did not seem to have match, he still wished to ask.

"Kagetoki, is it?" at the nod, Kurou then said: "There is no need to be so formal with me. I heard that you are one of aniue's trusted servants."

Which, Kagetoki thought, was not a good thing at all.

However, this was a good sign. Unlike what some others suggested, Kurou did not seem to give himself airs just because he was Yoritomo's brother. A very good thing given what Yoritomo's ideals were.

"You have stayed in Hiraizumi for sometimes, is that not right?" Kagetoki began. "Do you know Fujiwara no Kunihira and Fujiwara no Yasuhira well?"

"Quite well, why?"

"I knew the two of them when I stayed in Kyo quite sometimes ago so I would like to ask after them."

"Wait…" Benkei, who was right beside Kurou, suddenly said this as he tapped his forehead thoughtfully. "Kagetoki…I think Kunihira-dono has mentioned that name once or twice. But it was always said with another name…"

"Well, that was sometimes ago…the two of us used to be friends." Kagetoki said quickly.

"I recall that there was a time when Kunihira-dono suddenly went away." Benkei continued. "To attend a friend's wedding in Izu, yes, that was why. The bride was Hōjō Tamako…while the bridegroom was you."

At this, Kagetoki sighed, he ought to have thought about this. But then, this divorce was known any way, as it was linked to the full depth of his betray to the Heishi.

"But I have heard that you divorced Hōjō Tamako and she has remarried Kunihira-dono." Benkei continued. "I have heard of this already, but I did not realise that you and Kunihira-dono knew each other."

"We were very young when we were friends and things changed when we grew up." This was not really a lie, which made this very effective. "But we were friends so I wish to know whether he is well. The same can be said of Tamako…we were too young."

The reason he said this was because he did not wish for the truth to be known. In addition, he thought that the speculation of their marriage being broken due to her brother's death due to him was good as it provided a fairly reasonable excuse.

After all, only a few would know the truth.

Yet from another angle, this was just a cowardly attempt of him denying that this was all due to him.

"Kunihira-dono was well enough when we left, while I have never seen Hōjō Tamako." Was the predictable answer.

What was he hoping for anyway?

The truth was that he already knew the answer to his question due to knowing what she was like.

As he walked home that day, he saw some pale violet flowers and he immediately recalled how he had once saw an almost identical one with Tmamko some time ago. He had took it and told her that they were a special hair accessory, as he then plaited them into her hair.

"I will pay a very high price for this then, as they deserve a very high price." She had said before she kissed him.

Both his mother and Saku's expression upon seeing her hair indicated that he did a really bad job. However, he could still remember how she only took these flowers out of her hair when she untied her hair for bed.

There was no point in his actions, but he still picked these flowers and tucked it into his clothes. This was the only thing he could do.

"Tamako," he whispered as he raised his gaze to the sky, the only thing that might still connect them. "I hope you are well."

* * *

Coincidentally, Tamako was holding these same flowers in her hand, and she was thinking of that very same memory. Perhaps she would put some of those flowers in her room. They were a much better reminder of Kagetoki then the blood stained hair accessory. Despite her numerous attempts, she could not wash the blood off. As a result, the treasure was wrapped carefully in fabric and no longer worn.

Hiraizumi was a beautiful place and she was comfortable here. The truth was that she would have been satisfied with this marriage if she had never known Kagetoki.

Her home was in this beautiful place and her husband was of great influence here. Even more important was the fact that her husband loved her. That would have been enough for a comfortable and even happy life.

The problem was that she loved Kagetoki and could not be happy with anything and anyone else. The fact that Kunihira loved her was the cause of her being here, so what would have been good was then a bad thing.

"…Tamako."

"What do you want?" automatically, her voice became hard while her gaze, which had been very soft due to looking at these purple flowers, become hard.

"Do you hate the sight of me so much?" Kunihira asked bitterly as he sat down beside her. He suspected that the only reason she did not just stand up and leave was due to the fact that he would follow.

"I did not want to remarry." Tamako said bluntly. "Did I not make it clear that my 'husband' would be a victim to my emotions and resentment?"

"Do you think that your father would allow you to remarry unwed?"

"Probably not. However, do you seek to play the part of the hero then, Kunihira-dono?" she muttered very coldly. "By making me marry you, the role changed to a villain. In my view, you were not helping me. In fact, it was worse as I trusted you."

"Even if I believed that this was helping you…"

At this, a sneer curled against her lip. "Husband…you were doing what you desired. How did it help me?"

He did not know how to argue with that as it was the bitter truth. Now that he looked back, he often thought that things could have been very different if he had not acted in such a rash way. Instead of forcing her to marry him, had he waited and then offered his as an alternative marriage when another did, then maybe she would have been grateful to him.

Yet that would not be what he wanted. He wanted her to be his wife…not as a friend in a marriage to protect her.

"Tamako…Kagetoki would not take you back even if you spend your whole life waiting for him."

"But that is still my business, not your decision."

"Despite that?"

The wound in her chest had healed, but the scar was there. However, he only knew this because this was what Tamako said. Despite being married for a whole year, they have yet to sleep together.

That was what caused him to be here. Even though Kunihira was not the heir, his father still made it clear that he wished for some result to be produced from the marriage.

"Tamako…what would you if do I go to your room tonight?" he finally said slowly. "Will you really kill yourself?"

She thought about this for quite sometime before she admitted: "No. I don't think I have the courage to do this. However…"

"However?"

"I will start screaming." She said firmly. "Do you really think that your father can accept his son having such a bride?"

"And you will rather go back to Izu and then marry someone else?"

"If I could then I will rather stay here. That is probably why I never did anything." She admitted. "However…if you plan to sleep with me then I will do something about it."

"Yet you would merely escape from something to another." I can't bear that." Kunihira said. "Kagetoki is the only man I will accept you to be with."

"When did you have the right to decide who I would be with, Kunihira-dono?"

"Would you accept me only going to your room? I will not do anything."

Confusion and surprised appeared before she suddenly laughed.

"If this is to prevent you from having a sokushitsu or divorcing me, then I am not going to help you." she stated.

"Chichiue says that at the very least I should have a sokushitsu." He repeated.

"I agree with him." Tamako said before she actually sighed. "Mitachi is a really good man and I am sorry to upset him like this. However, I will not change my view for his sake." At this, she touched the still shorn hair. "Therefore, I will please him this once by agreeing."

"Tamako, you are actually quite happy at this, are you not?" Kunihira said bitterly.

"Even if I leave my personal factor aside, I think this is a good thing." Tamako said honestly. "I will tell Mitachi this, so do not use me as an excuse."

"I will have a sokushitsu, but you will still be my seishitsu." Kunihira declared out. "Tamako, I am not giving you up."

A silence relapsed again, but this was very different from the comfortable silence that they once shared with Kagetoki in Kyo.

"What about your brother?" Tamako suddenly asked.

"Yasuhira? What about Yasuhria?"

"Is he going to have a sokushitsu too?" much to his surprise, she then added the next bit: "His little seishitsu would be upset at this."

Upon seeing his expression, she laughed and said: "What, do you expect me to dislike everyone? I do not dislike the little princess from Kyo. After all, we are the two seishitsu of the two sons for Hidehira-dono."

"My brother is very different from me." Kunihira muttered.

"Because the little princess' charms are wasted on him?" Tamako laughed bitterly. "At this very least, it should not result in that scowl remaining the first few times he saw her."

"It is true that most man would be fond of the beauty. However…that alone is never enough." Kunihira said simply. "But I am not sure whether I actually like her. I think I…pity her."

"Because she yearns for something that she cannot get? Because you see that she is doing what you are doing?" Tamako asked cruelly.

* * *

Right now, the one with the highest rank in the women's quarters was Rurihime. Since Hidehira's main sokushitsu died while his seishitsu was as good as divorced because she has yet to return to Hiraizumi, although she has not remarried. After all, she knew that she needed to preserve the alliance. These two women had the main influence and any other sokutshitsu or the wife of others in the household, had little rank or status to match the position of these two.

Rurihime was the wife of the heir, so her position would naturally be greater then Tamako's position, not to mention her own status. However, she was too young to make advantage of this and she was used to having it without asking for it, since she had been born into it.

Tamako could probably have put up a very good fight for the position of importance if she had wanted to. However, she did not, as such a thing never entered her head at all.

Strangely enough, she could be fond of Rurihime. Perhaps it was because she was the only other who could serve as a companion due to their similar position and even situation.

Pity was there too, Tamako admitted, recalling how Rurihime had looked so downcast due to Yasuhira's words. Because the truth was that she was yearning for something impossible too. She too, was waiting for someone to turn and look at her despite knowing that this was impossible.

The wound was his firm resolution.

In addition, helping Rurihime did give her something to do. It seemed affection then appeared.

Rurihime still dressed in her normal fashion, which was extremely elaborate in Hiraizumi. The servants did not dislike their main mistress. After all, the one they served had wealth that was already impossible for them to have. Unlike the others, Rurihime was not possessive as these things were what she regarded as her normal possessions.

In addition, she was pleasing to look at.

What caused problems were the wives of the other men of position in Hiraizumi along with their relatives. They never created trouble but Tamako was sure that there could be problems in the future

Most of all…it was also due to particular problem.

"Look at her, the doll they brought from Kyo."

After all, Yasuhira has yet to sleep with her despite the two of them having been married for more then a year.

At this, Tamako thought about whether she should have a talk with Kunihira- did his brother know about what you had to do in the bedroom? Or did Yasuhira actually have some sort of aversion to it? After all, the girl was now a young woman as she was fifteen years old and she was very beautiful. Most men would have been most eager to perform the necessary duties.

"…Tamako-dono." Rurihime had walked up to her and there was a shy smile on the young girls' face. "May I talk to you?"

On her part, Tamako could understand why Rurihime would end up carrying for her sister-in-law. After all, she was the only other available and even though the young girl was not snobbish, servants were servants.

"It is something very important." Rurihime added.

Perhaps the other girl was like a younger sister to her and she did miss her own sister. Tamako had younger sisters but the age gap and some of their dislike towards Masako prevented her from being close to them. Rurihime was also the same age as Saku.

"It is about Yasuhira-dono…" Rurihime began when she seated down. "I…it is just that I don't have anyone else that I can talk to."

"If I can then I will help." Tamako promised.

"Yasuhira-dono says that it is time for him to sleep with me since one of the important parts of our marriage is to produce a heir." Rurihiem repeated and her expression and her voice made Tamako wonder how the two brothers could be such contrast, and how could anyone say this to one that he must knew to adore him.

"I know what would happen but I am still afraid." Rurihime continued. "It is silly…isn't it?"

At this, Tamako could only repeat the words that she had been comforted with. However, she had to omit some of it due to a very important factor: Yasuhira and Kagetoki were completely different.

"Rurihime-dono, do you love Yasuhira-dono?" Tamako suddenly said.

The young woman nodded. "I think it must be love."

"Tell me…what would you feel if he wishes to have a sokushitsu?"

"Has…Yasuhira-dono says that he wishes to do so?" immediately, she showed great worry at this.

"It is just a possibility." Tamako quickly said. "A sudden question."

"I do not know." Rurihime admitted. "Since it is Tamako-dono who asks, I will be honest. I do not wish to share Yasuhira-dono with another. Even though to think like this is really stupid."

"No." Tamako said with a shook of her head. "It is normal. It is a sign of you caring for your husband."

"What would Tamako-dono think then?"

"It depends on who the husband is." Was the brutal answer.

In addition to rumours, it was impossible for Rurihime to remain ignorant about Tamako and Kunihira's sitauiton. One of the simplest reasons was this: Tamako saw Rurihime as being on Kunihira's side too much, and therefore wished to show that she was a victim too.

"I would hate to leave Yasuhira-dono's side even though he is indifferent to me." Rurihime said softly. "Therefore, I can understand how hard it must be for Tamako-dono."

Therefore, she was always cautious in her words. It was true that there were times when she felt that Tamako went a bit too far in regard to how she treated Kunihira, she would still remind herself that Tamako had reasons to be like this.

Most of all, the relationship between Tamako and Kunihira was a triangle that she had no right in interfering.

Besides, she had much to worry about. Mainly her husband.

She was dressed in suitable sleepwear and her long hair was completely loss. For most men, that would have been a rather appealing picture, especially when she was also a young woman with her body developed enough.

"Yasuhira-dono," she began nervously when he entered, and she was automatically looking down. "Are you actually considering having a sokushitsu?"

"That is aniue." Yasuhira said, thinking that she might have got the information confused.

"Kunihira-dono is going to get a sokushitsu? But he said that he would only love Tamako-dono." Rurihime automatically examined out.

"Even though aniue is happy being the laughing stock of Hiraizumi, there is a limit. The ideal solution would be him divorcing her, but he is very foolish in that aspect." Yasuhira said this with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"And is this what Yasuhira-dono thinks? That Kunihira-dono is being extremely foolish?"

"He married her even though she seems to hate him…the most foolish bit is what he feels. If he knows that he would regret this then he ought not have married her, if he had to marry her no matter what, then he should not feel guilty."

"Not everyone can think like that, Yasuhira-dono." Rurihime pointed out. "But Yasuhira-dono, will you be having a sokushitsu?"

"If I need to, but not anytime soon. I don't want to create any more irritations. What, do you have another question?"

"I was going to ask what Yasuhira-dono would do if he was in Kunihira-dono's situation, but I realised what a foolish question that is." She muttered. "Because I don't think you would ever be in that situation."

"I have no need of such ridiculous emotion. However," he said with a frown. "Why are we talking about my brother at such a time?"

However, this was not due to any tenderness. It was merely his desire of getting what was necessary done.

Later on, he would visit her and sleep with her, but the time of his visits were so predictable that it was obvious that this was merely a necessary duty.

However, this made Rurihime realise one thing- she wished for Yasuhira to be the only man who could mark her body. The thought of another doing that she did with Yasuhira actually upset her greatly. To her, regardless of what Yasuhira thought, what happened had been very special.

Yet if he had a sokushitsu… she would have to accept it, but she did not think that she could like the other. She would definitely be jealous.

At the very least, she suddenly thought, I must be special to Yasuhira-dono.

What Tamako felt was too obvious- her being so welcoming to the sokushitsu of her husband revealed that she did not care for Kunihira that way at all.

"Even if it is an impossible dream, we will hold onto it." Tamako had said. "We might be friendly, but it would never be affectionate."

Kunihira's sokushitsu was picked- a noble girl who was distantly related to his maternal relatives. Even though Kunihira was kind to her, it was clear that he still loved Tamako. Luckily, the girl accepted this as she herself was not in love with anyone yet and was relieved to have a friendly husband with his seishitsu not causing any problems for her in anyway.

Therefore, things were very peaceful.

Despite everything, Rurihime was glad at this peace. Sometimes she would think of the time that she was in Kyo, when that first hint of uneasiness appeared.

She was not unhappy now, because she could be right beside her husband. She liked to curl against him when they slept and he did not seem to have noticed the approximaty as he never once complaint about it.

At times she would gently touch his face and hair. He was a very handsome man, especially when he slept, because he lost that frown and glare.

She had decided on what she would do and she was lucky enough to be able to do so. She would remain by his side and do something for him. Surely, she thought with the optimism that was there due to her youth, she would be able to do something that he would one day appreciate.

She was very certain of her feelings now- she loved her husband just as Tamako loved her first husband, as to continue mourning for him, just as her mother and father loved each other so much that she decided to abandon the world when he died.


	20. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

_"Like the game of combining the fragrances together_

_I dream of combining our two bodies and mind as one_

_Even though I know that it is a dream that cannot come true."_

_~ (__宵闇と秋風の薫物合を__)_

Outside Hiraizumi, much has been happening. Kiyomori was said to have died- he was said to have died because his death was very uncertain. No one has seen the body and it was rumoured that the Heike were still being led by someone who was very similar. Likewise, Taira no Shigemori's fate was uncertain as well.

The Genji were not free of gossips either. It was said that a very uneasy alliance existed between Yoritomo and Yoshinaka, these two being the main power. The existence of Minamoto no Yukiee made things worse as he seemed to be changing his alliance every now and then.

Then there were those that were associated with Yoritomo. Hōjō Masako was Yoritomo's seishitsu but her father was very unsatisfied with the current situation. In addition, Kajiwara Kagetoki was in a very prestigious position. It was true that Tamako was involved with both parties but she had made the fact that she has severed ties with them very clear.

Therefore, Hiraizumi was not affected by what was going on .Unlike the outside world, things were going very well in Hiraizumi, as the next heir might soon be arriving.

Rurihime was pregnant and as she was the seishitsu of the heir, the child would be the unquestioned heir provided that he was a boy. Even if the child was a girl, the child would still have quite some prestige and status.

It was true that Yasuhira was not extremely popular in Hiraizumi, but the birth of the future heir was always a good thing that people would be happy about.

Ironically enough, it was the future mother that did not seem to be happy. When she was with others, she would smile and express her joy at being pregnant. However, she would often sigh when she was alone, and there were even times when she looked very sad. Not what one would expect.

It was autumn now, and the child would most likely be born in early winter. Rurihime was a petite young girl so the pregnancy was clearly a heavy physically burden as well as mentally.

In addition, her husband's attitude was a great factor. This even caused others to interfere.

"Tamako-dono, what a surprise to see you here." Yasuhira said dryly. "Have you run out of things to argue about with my brother?"

It was true that Tamako was seen as a bit better by the rest due to her acceptance of Kunihira's sokushitsu, but her marriage did not really improve. There were even suggestions that the sokushitsu should become the keishitsu.

Tamako's answer was: "Go ahead."

"I would certainly never bother you with such petite issues, Yasuhira-dono." Tamako said dryly. "I am here for something of great importance."

"And that is?" his tone was not impatient, but it was clear that he did not expect much from her.

"Yasuhira-dono, do you not think that you should be visiting your wife?"

"I thought you wished to tell me something important?"

"Is the fact that your wife is pregnant with your heir not important enough?" an edge was clearly in her voice.

"How will visiting her help? Is that going to guarantee the child being able to be born without any problem?"

"Are you not her husband and the father of her child? Should you not be helping her?"

"And how would that be helping her?"

"Surely you must know that she loves you?"

"And so?" he then added the following cuttingly. "If we are wasting our time by speaking of such a thing, then should we not mention a wife who ought to be comforting her husband?"

"Tamako-dono? Yasuhira-dono?" It was the said person and her rather nervous expression suggested that she might have heard their conversation.

"What are you doing outside? I thought you were not meant to exert yourself." Yasuhira began harshly. "If that child is the heir to Hiraizumi then…"

He probably was going to say more if he was not suddenly hit by Tamako's fan, which flew with a rather unconvincing: "Oh, my hand suddenly slipped. I hope you were not hit too badly, Yasuhira-dono."

"I thought that I would feel better if I take a walk." Rurihime said, the past tense rather significant. "And since I passed here, I thought I would enter."

"Let us return together then." Tamako said and before she did that she turned to Yasuhira's direction. However, the other has already resumed reading his scroll.

Tamako was filled with a strong desire of hitting his head with her fan once again.

"Tamako-dono, do you think that Yasuhira-dono would be upset if our child is a girl?" Rurihime asked and she had her hand over her abdomen rather protectively.

"Strangely enough, he would not." Tamako said thoughtfully, realising that the rationality she regarded as irritating actually had its advantage. "He would say it is because you had no power in deciding the gender."

"But surely he would be happier if the child is a son." Rurihime pointed out.

"Rurihime-dono, you should not be exerting yourself so much." Tamako quickly said, as that was not a point she could rebut with. "Did the midwife not say that you must focus on resting and being well for the baby?"

"But it is really hard." Rurihime whispered. "It is so strange, Tamako-dono, I feel so tired so easily as this child seems so heavy. Yet I cannot sleep very well."

Another cause was her loneliness. Yasuhira has yet to visit her once now that she was pregnant. It was predictable, but still very upsetting. It became a too vivid reminder of how their marriage was merely a necessary political marriage for him.

Without any warning, the younger woman began to cry.

"I don't think Yasuhira-dono would ever care for me! I really thought that he would be really happy at this, but he is not! I wonder if he even cares. No, of course, he would care for the child," Rurihime quickly corrected herself, "After all, this child would be the heir. But this is it!"

Tamako was suddenly filled with a strong desire of helping the girl and it was probably because she was in such a pathetic situation. What she wanted was the most basic thing.

"Rurihime-dono, will you accept my company?" Tamako suddenly offerend. "I would stay and talk to you every night."

"Tamako-dono, I do not wish to impose on you!" Rurihime said very quickly, and she was trying to force herself to stop crying, although this was met with little success.

"It is for myself too." Tamako said softly. "I don't like being by myself every night either. This is probably because I am too used to having someone beside me."

"Do you mean your first husband?" Rurihime asked curiously. It obviously could not be this husband as their relationship was rather infamous due to that aspect.

"Partly, but it is also because my eldest sister and I often used to go to each other's room at talk." Tamako quickly said, wishing to avoid any mentioning of Kagetoki. Even though Masako was not that much better, it was still better.

"I do wish for my child to come." Rurihime suddenly said. "Hahaue said that she loved me even before I was born, and I used to think that she was just saying so. However, I now that she was telling me the truth because I already love this child. But speaking of hahaue…I have not heard from her for such a long time. Even though she is being very devoted to praying for chichiue, surely she could reply to my letters now and then. I am very worried for her because I hear that Kyo is rather dangerous now with the war. In addition, I have also heard that there are some type of unusual spirits in Kyo."

"I have heard of such rumours as well." Tamako admitted. "But it is hard to discover which bit is real as we are so far away."

"I have talked to Yasuhira-dono about this and he says that there is no need for me to be bothered about this right now because Oushu is not affected by it. He also said that what they would do is simple: they will remain neutral but defensive. I am actually not that worried about this," this was said with a glance at her abdomen. "When Yasuhira-dono said this, I feel that we would definitely be safe."

She did not know that the news of what happened to her mother was actually being discussed by their husbands at this very moment.

Kunihira arrived at the place where Yasuhira tended to do his work just some time after Ruihime and Tamako left. He held a letter in one hand and Yasuhira could tell that he was rather agitated as he was even muttering to himself.

"I was talking to a messenger from Kyo." Kunihira begun, "And it is a huge mess."

"Is this due to Minamoto no Yoshinaka?" Yasuhira immediately said.

"He has imprisoned Goshikawa-houou after he killed many important officials. It is even suggested that he want to be the grand general."

"Yoritomo would never allow that. Yoshinaka is digging his own grave." Yasuhira said simply. "But I did hear that Yoshinaka's son is actually a hostage in Kamakura under the pretence of being engaged to Yoritomo's daughter."

"That is so, but to think that a father would do such a thing…I can understand if it is due to the necessity of protecting something, but to do this due to the desire of wanting something…" at this, Kunihira actually smashed a fist into the floor. "How could there be such a father?"

"And?"

"And what?!" Kunihira snapped before he realised that he did have something else to tell his brother. "The messenger who brought the news used to serve Rurihime-dono's family. Therefore, he actually brought news as well as a letter from her mother. Yasuhira, I will be blunt with you. Unless you will be beside her and comfort her then you better hide the news from her."

"Did her mother die?" Yasuhira reasoned. "I admit that she can be childish at times, but I do not think that she would be hysterical."

"It is how her mother died. If my mother died that way then I would ride to Kyo and kill the one responsible." However, the only reaction that he received from his brother was a stare that translated to: "I did not ask what you would do in her position." With a sigh, Kunihira continued. "Yoshiinaka said that he has heard of her reputation and so wanted to see her himself. What he wished to do was clear, so she choose to commit suicide."

"And I am supposed to hide this news from her forever?" Yasuhira asked with a slight sneer. "This is foolish."

"Tamako told me that it is necessary to be careful with a pregnant woman." Kunihira repeated before he added. "And I do think it would be better if you visit her now and then."

"Why is it that you two actually manage to agree on something when it involves my wife, which is my own business? Why is it that you two out of all people actually think that you can give me advice on this?"

"It is because we both feel sorry for her." Kunihira said honestly. "Yasuhira, that girl is in love with you."

"And does that means I will have to love her back?" Yasuhira said in impatience. "At the very least, she actually understands this, unlike the mess that you are in."

"Yasuhira, there is a line between basic courtesy and indifference, just as there is a line between indifference and cruelty. Right now, you are at the last place." Kunihira clenched out. "But since you want a reason, here is one for you and it should convince you to go through the trouble of hiding the news from her. What more trouble would you have when she kills herself with the future heir of Hiraizumi still in her? Even if you would not be upset at her death, think of the problems for you then!"

With this, his brother actually stormed out.

The words of his brother actually made Yasuhira consider what he never had before: the possibility of Rurihime being gone. Even though he quickly shook his head at this and decided that he was being extremely foolish, he did thought about it, although it was just for a brief moment.

Nor did he like the idea. (1)

* * *

The child arrived in winter and not only was the child completely healthy without any problem, it was a boy. Therefore, the child was also the all important heir to Hiraizumi.

Hidehira was naturally delighted with his first grandchild and this feeling seemed to be slightly contagious. It was a good excuse for a celebration. Yasuhira was naturally very different, but there was nothing to suggest that he was unsatisfied with this. After all, it was necessary for him to have a son, and he has succeeded.

The son was named by the father and he was named Yoshihira. (2)

The birth had been rather hard, so the mother was still in the process of recovering. However, she was clearly like most mother by being extremely delighted with the child, especially when the child should be able to have a happy life.

As she held her child, she realised that here was another that she could love so much, and she would also be able to live for this child as well.

Her husband did not visit her before the childbirth so she did not really expect him to come and see her now. Besides, the child was not old enough to gain his attention. However, she would always remember how he had held the child when the birth was announced. He had held the child with an unusual gentleness as well as almost being rather nervous.

She should be happy, should she not? She had a beautiful son and her husband acknowledged him as the heir. She finally did something for her husband that she knew he approved of.

Shouldn't she be happy? Shouldn't all her sadness disappear?

Now that she had gave birth, her sister-in-law no longer slept in the same room as her. Rurihime knew that this had to be, but she was a bit disappointed as the other did help her to sleep a bit better. If only it was due to the fact that she no longer felt so long due to the other.

She was not sleeping very well at night times, and this was making her feel very tired during day time. However, she was still not able to sleep well despite being tired. Often, she would lay on the futon with a very exhausted body and mind, yet still finding sleep impossible.

Sleep was a great rest, but it was much too rare.

Being awake was a very frightening thing- especially when she was alone. Ye the brief sleep she had was often during day time, after a visit or even during a visit. Perhaps that was why she was able to sleep.

The visits she looked forward to the most were Tamako's and the time when the nanny would bring her son to her. In truth, that was really the recurring visits.

The other women, such as the important wives of some of the men here, did their duty by visiting her once or twice, while there were a few times when Hidehira and Kunihira came. However, the visits of the men were quite rare and it was really to see the child that happened to be in the same room as her. Kunihira's sokushitsu Iwako did come, but she too, was here to see the child.

Rurihime felt that Tamako was probably the only one who was here to see her, not just the child.

Rurihime felt that Iwako was quite friendly, but this was all. Even though Tamako was welcoming to the sokushitsu, there was a barrier between the two women. The other would almost always keep to herself and the retainers that she brought with her. She was clearly satisfied with this arrangement.

Perhaps, although they did not realise it then, it was also because Iwako's own feelings were actually changing at that time.

Rurihime was sure that she would feel much better if she could see her child more. However, it was deemed that she needed to use this time to rest more and the time that she spent with her child could actually be exhausting for her.

Yet it was painful for her to lie awake and hear noises from where her child was.

The truth was that she felt really lonely as well as insecure. She wrote to her mother but there was no reply, which was another cause of her distress.

Now that she thought about it, her mother has yet to reply to her early letters, when she mentioned her pregnancy. It was true that her mother now lived in a very secluded way and rarely wrote, but surely such a thing would be an exception!

She would think this way because her mother has always been very loving. When Rurihime cried, her mother would immediately crouch down beside her to ask her what was wrong. If she was scared, then the other would immediately be beside her to sooth her.

Therefore, what appeared as a sudden indifference hurt her very much, as it was completely alien. Even though her husband was rather indifferent to her, she was still too used to the affection and love she had from her family.

Perhaps, she decided, she would ask Tamako for advice. Surely the other would know what to do.

* * *

Mothers were almost always proud of their child. In this period, a mother tended to be even more proud when it was a son. Rurihime was certain that she was so. However, she was rather uncertain at what the father felt as he has yet to talk to her about this.

"But Yasuhira-dono has accompanied his father and Kunihira-dono when they visited the child." Iwako declared out. "Although the visits are rather short, I am sure that he is proud of his son.

Iwako was visiting once more, and Rurihime could tell that this woman was clearly very envious of her situation as she was clearly very fond of children. It was true that Iwako was different from Tamako by wanting to see the child more, but Rurihime could not deny that she found the praising of her son very pleasing.

However, there was a disadvantage to Iwako's visit. She seemed to want to hold onto the child all the time. Without meaning too, Rurihime was to find herself being a bit possessive.

"I wish…" Iwako suddenly said. "I wish that I may be blessed in the same way."

This was said with such a sadness that Rurihiem felt a bit guilty to be holding onto her son instead of answering the other's rather subtle hint of wishing to hold onto the child.

"But there is no reason that you would not be having children." Rurihime pointed out.

"That is so, but surely you know the truth, since everyone does." Iwako said with an uncharacteristic bitterness. "The one that my husband loves is Tamako-dono despite the way she treats him!"

For the first time, Rurihime found herself thinking about the woman right next to her. She never did before because she would be too occupied with her husband, and then her pregnancy. In addition, the sokushitsu had seemed satisfied with her situation.

"Oh, I didn't mind it at first." Iwako admitted, guessing what Rurihime was thinking. "Nobles don't marry for the silly love that they read about. My situation was very comfortable in addition to being good for my family. That was more then enough."

"But now?"

"I seemed to have become greedy." Iwako admitted. "It is true that Kunihira-dono remains very kind, but that is simply because he is a kind person. I want him to care for me!"

The way that Kunihira looked at Tamako showed Iwako just how different that feeling was. Affection for a sokushitsu he married due to duty was very different from the one he loved to do all these folly.

"Please forgive me, Rurihime-dono, for being like this." Iwako said quickly.

However, her apology was lost as Rurihime realised that she herself was rather similar. She had become greedy due to being in love with Yasuhira. Instead of being satisfied at having done something for him, she desired to have his approval.

Yet it seemed an impossible thing.

It almost seemed as if a miracle had happened because the nanny suddenly entered to announce that Yasuhira is here and he desired to talk to Rurihime alone. For Iwako, this was a clear dismissal but she accepted this without any protest since she was sure that even Tamako and Kunihira might undergo a similar thing.

"But Yasuhira-dono, are you not here to see Yoshihira?" the mother as well as the wife said. "He…"

"I am here to talk to you about what has been happening outside Hiraizumi." He said simply, waving her doting words of the little baby away. "Surely you know that Kyo is in a mess? I am certain that the name 'Minamoto no Yoshinaka' or 'Kiso Yoshinaka' is known to you." (3)

At her nod, he actually felt a bit more at ease because this meant that this might not be that problematic.

"Your mother is dead. Yoshinaka wished to rape her so she committed suicide." In short, this was what happened, but the fact that he could say this to the daughter was rather cruel. After all, he was stating this without any attempt of making her feel better.

"She also wrote a letter." Yasuhira was just going to hand the letter they had hid for quite sometimes when he noticed that her face was extremely pale.

At this, he was actually at a loss of what to do.

"…hahaue is dead?"

"It is as I said." He stated, but he was actually showing some self control and even respect by not saying anything more.

"And what did my hahaue say to me?" she began, her voice has become very soft and it was almost inaudible.

"Can you not read- " he began, but was stopped by her words- which were almost like a scream. "Does it look like that I am in a state where I can read it?!"

She actually began crying and her eyes were already full of tears while her kimono sleeves were damp due to her attempt of wiping her tears on them.

"Perhaps it is better if I leave you." he decided.

"Yasuhira-dono, will it kill you to do this one favour for me!" she was definitely screaming now. Part of the reason was that she was desperate to read the letter in the hope of her mother offering her some words that would help her to get by, which was what had happened with her father. However, her eyes were so blurred with tears that she could not see any thing. This also gave her courage because she was not able to see what expression he would have.

"…I will only read it once." He suddenly said.

Even though his reading was devoid of emotion due to his tone and voice, the words were enough. When he finished reading the letters, her weeping had calmed down enough for her to speak and be understood.

"Thank you for reading this letter, Yasuhira-dono." She finally said. "But there is one thing that I would like to know. When did my mother die?"

He did not see why he should hide the truth.

"Surely this letter did not only arrive now." Rurihime stretched her hand out and he placed the letter there, the paper preventing their hands from touching. "Why is it that you did not tell me earlier?"

Foolish as it was, she was secretly hoping for the answer to reveal some sort of concern for her, slight as it might be.

"You might have endangered yourself and the child you are carrying." He said truthfully.

"And it is alright now that our son is born?" at this, she began to cry rather violently again.

If only he would say something…anything. Even a simple 'no' would have been accepted by her. However, he chooses to answer in an even more cruel way.

He simply left the room.

On his part, it was a logical decision. He did not know how to deal with a hysterical woman and he was sure that she would be alright after he left her alone for a while.

However, it was not as simple as that. For Rurihime, her mother's death was like the loss of security. Despite her mother choosing to isolate herself from the world, she was still there. Therefore, one of the two people whose loved she relied on had still been there.

It was also due to the way that her mother had died. Unlike her father's death, it was very unfair. Her father had made the choice of being in danger and even though his death was sad, it was something that he had accepted and prepared himself for it. Her mother, however, was innocent of such action. All she wanted was to spend the rest of her life in prayer for her dead husband. She did not even venture out. What killed her were the mere rumours of her beauty. (4)

"…I have no regret at leaving such a Kyo." Her mother had said in her letter. "I do not think that it would last, but what I have seen so far is disgusting enough. Kiso Yoshinaka is a vulgar and tasteless barbarian. He is like a child with a new toy and Kyo is a shop that can provide him with them. However, he is a child that will break all of his toys. I have no wish for such a fate." (5)

Yet part of her Rurihime's tears was also due to envy. Her mother was not unhappy as she believed that she would be united with her husband. She had also been blessed with her husband's love.

Rurihime wept for the fact that such a thing was impossible for her. To her husband, she was merely a tool and now that she has done her purpose by giving him the heir, there was no need for him to have any more interaction with her. After all, he did not even visit her once during her pregnancy.

Her earlier conversation with Iwako was a reminder of her situation. By being in love, what was given was not enough if the other could not love you, or at the very least, cared for you.

She was shaking slightly, but she still chooses to go to the next room. She felt a strong desire to be with her son.

"Rurihime-sama!" the nanny and servants began in shock due to the status of their mistress' appearance. However, she silenced them with a sharp wave of her hand.

"Let me hold my son for a while." This was said by the one who was their mistress, yet she seemed to be speaking it like a plea.

As she held her son, Rurihime was happy. Yet it seemed that she still desired the father too.

* * *

**_Notes_**

_(1) __One of the rare moments when Yasuhira is emotional_

_(2) __He was named after Kurou (Yoshitsune). I can just see Yasuhira doing that, although I do not think that he would admit it._

_(3) __Initially, Yoshinaka seemed to use his last name, but then he changed it to Kiso, although they still use it now and then._

_(4) __I must admit that I took quite some creative liberty here. The story is that when Kiso Yoshinaka arrived back in Kyo as the shougan, one of the things that he did was to make this woman sleep with him by force, as he heard that she was really beautiful. I found this out due to NHK. However, the Japanese Wikipedia says that this is just a popular myth because what happened is that this girl was not married, and she actually chooses to marry him as this would be good for the family. She wanted more power. However, I thought that this would fit with my story really well, and this could also help me to show this beauty in Rurihime's family._

_(5) __Rurihime's mother is a very upper-class aristocrat from Kyo, so she would see people such as Yoshinaka and Kurou as crude._


	21. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

_"Glasses that shines in the darkness_

_A future that is just as dreamlike_

_I will continue to believe it_

_I will continue to believe that things would change_

_Because you told me so."_

_~ (月氷の背中は陽炎)_

Rurihime seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. She clearly looked very unhappy and it was impossible to pretend that this was exhaustion. The maids and nanny had little to tell: she might have had an argument with her husband as she seemed to have screamed at him before she began to cry rather violently.

Tamako was actually quite shocked at Rurihime's condition. The other was extremely pale and had been crying. Yet Rurihime said that she was not able to explain the reason- it seemed to be a sadness that seemed to refuse to stop.

It was true that the young girl was better when she was with her son, but it was not that big an improvement.

Therefore, she had very few options left.

"Kunihira-dono, may I speak with you?"

It was early morning and her husband was just taking a rest from training with some of the men that were responsible for the security of their home. A task that remained a necessity despite the heavy snow. After all, it was winter. When he saw his wife appearing, he did turn to that direction, but he was still completely surprised by her address.

Even though he was sure that it would not be something that he wished to hear. At best, it would be something impersonal. However, he still allowed himself the indulgence of being a loving husband.

Tamako was fully aware that these bushi bore a dislike toward her, since she was rather cruel to the man that they clearly admired and revered. However, she did not care.

"In that matter," she had said with a smile, "I am rather different from Rurihime-dono."

As long as they did not make her life uncomfortable, then she would not care.

"This is a rare thing, you coming to talk to me, Tamako." Kunihira began as the two of them headed in. He would not have her outside at such a weather. "You usually resent me entering your room."

"Did I say that I changed my mind, Kunihira-dono?" Tamako said dryly. "Do not push your luck, husband."

"What is it then? It must be something extremely important as you would seek my company." He said bitterly.

Tamako actually remained silent for a while and when she spoke, her voice was unusually gentle. "Cynicism does not become you, Kunihira-dono."

"I am not the young boy who wanders around Kyo with his two friends and believe that their company is enough, nor are you the young girl who believe that you would marry your fiancé and have your happy ending." Kunihira began. "Most of all, do not expect me to behave the way that I used to when you would be addressing me in such a fashion."

"Marrying me did not make you happy, so why not let me go?" she asked seriously. "Iwako-dono can be the deserving wife that you ought to have."

"I am not a youth who believes in marrying for happiness…it is probably a foolish dream. However, it is a fantasy that I would like…therefore, I am jealous of one who had it, but threw it away."

"In that, I can agree with you. Even if it really was for my own good, I still much rather be with him." Tamako said. "But tell me, Kunihira-dono, have you had any contact with Kagetoki? After all, your sokushitsu…"

"I do wonder what he would say…" Kunihira admitted. "But I don't think he would be angry at me because he knew that it was he who let you go. Yet I think he might be secretly pleased because all men can be possessive."

"I do not," Tamako said with great coldness. "Believe that Kagetoki would do so. He is not that type of men. He can be very selfish, but he is not selfish in that way.

"He is selfish by wanting the two of us to be happily married?" Kunihria admitted out aloud. "I think the fact that I have a sokushitsu would upset him. But Tamako, do not glorify him. He is a normal man as well."

"Of course I know that! He…He is my husband!" despite everything, Tamako still choose to use the present tense. "But you are right, we have all changed much. I have heard the rumours that are associated with him. The truth is that I cannot deny them as being impossible."

"Because you did not stab yourself in the chest, Tamako?" Kunihira said as he gestured to the place of her wound.

"I did not come to talk to you of Kagetoki!" Tamako said very sharply as she changed the subject. "It is about Rurihime-dono."

"Even I have heard that she is ill, so it must be very serious. However, I am not able to do anything at all."

"Do you know why she might be upset? I did hear that there is something about Kyo and her mother…but it seems that you have been keeping this as a secret with your brother."

"Not a secret, Tamako, I merely didn't tell you yet. And since I have yet to tell you, I naturally would not tell it to anyone else."

"Not to Iwako-dono?" there was no jealousy or even curiosity. She was merely stating the fact.

"If I don't tell you something then it is impossible that I would tell her." This too, was matter of fact, almost without guilt. He then told her of what had happened.

Tamako frowned and this was fully reasonable. However, her conclusion surprised him.

"I hope, for her sake," Tamako said in slight agitation. "That your words were not repeated by your brother. I know that you were clearly doing so to prevent her from endangering herself, but if your brother said it in that tone of his...it would sound as if you two think that what happened to her would not matter at all once the child is born."

"Tamako, I will never think of such a thing!" Kunihira protested.

"Yes, I know that." She assured him. "But you must admit that if this is from your brother's mouth then…"

At that moment, they were interrupted by a loud cry of his name.

It was not as if the seishitsu and sokushitsu has never been in the same room before- it was something that has taken place quite a few times- often with Rurihime and her child. However, it was rather rare for Kunihira to be there with only the two of them. If the three of them were in close proximity with one another, then it was almost always in the company of many others.

Even worse for Iwako was the fact that Tamako and Kunihira were standing rather close together, and despite the frequent disagreement, there seemed to be something that bounded the two of them together.

Iwako was reminded once more of how she was the outsider. In a way, her situation was a bit similar to Kunihira when he was in Kyo. The other two had met first, and then had fallen in love.

"What is it?" even though Kunihira showed himself to be willing to listen and talk, the way that he greeted Iwako was different.

"It is about Rurihime-dono," Iwako began, pushing her own feelings aside. "She has disappeared."

"Disappeared? What do you mean?" Tamako said sharply.

"I wanted to see Yoshihira-dono, but when I went there, the nurses and maids were all panicking as Rurihime-dono has disappeared. One of the maids actually has actually spent the whole morning looking for her!"

"Is there no clue to her whereabouts?" Tamako pressed on.

"She just suddenly disappeared; the maids said that Rurihime-dono did not do anything that might be a clue."

"I will go and find her." Kunihira decided. "If she is out of the house, then she can not be very far."

"It is dangerous though." Tamako said softly. "For her to wonder about in this weather."

"I will find her." Kunihira repeated. "If this is what you want."

However, this attempt of sentimentality was ignored.

* * *

It had been dawn when Rurihime suddenly departed the house. She has first kissed and cradled her son once last time before she suddenly stepped out of the large house. Without knowing why, she was filled with a strong desire of getting up and just leave.

To stay in here was suffocating. Even though she was sure that her actions would be frowned upon by her husband, she still decided to do this. things are getting worse each day, she felt that each day seemed to be completely pointless and she kept on crying without understanding why.

There were times when she felt like screaming, yet she would never be able to explain.

"Yoshihira, please forgive haha for whatever she might do." She whispered as she placed her child back.

It was not snowing, but it had been as it was winter. Normally, she would not even be venturing out without an escort. However, not only was she alone, she was not sure of where she was going.

Yet she did not consider turning back. She actually felt so much more at ease. In addition, she actually welcomed the cold, as it meant that she would only think of the weather.

It seemed that she did have a place she desired to go: one of the many temples built in Hiraizumi.

"Rurihime-dono!" the head nun did recognise her as she was the wife of the future leader and has been here before. However, she was completely startled at her appearance. Her hair was in great dishevel and the layers of her kimono were roughly arranged. Most of all, her eyes showed traces of violent weeping.

"I wish to pray." The young woman stated. "For my parents."

"Yes, but this condition…" the nun began in great concern.

"This condition does not matter." Rurihime insisted.

"But where are your retainers?" the nun asked.

"I am alone."

That was a clear sign that something unusual was taking place and the head nun then decided that it was necessary for her to send a message to her home.

The young woman did begin to pray and whatever she was thinking made her weep again. It was this state that Tamako was to find her in.

"Rurihime-dono, will you tell me what is wrong?" Tamako said very gently as she sat down beside the young woman.

"I have prepared a room for you two." The head nun announced.

Rurihime allowed Tamako to lead her by the hand like a little girl and tears were streaming from her eyes even then.

"…I wish to go to the temple and pray for my mother." Rurihime began. "But why…why did this happen to hahaue? Does being a nun not mean that hahaue would be protected?"

As she began to pour out many of her insecurities, Tamako actually began to comb the young girl's long hair that she was so vain of. The status of her hair was actually another indication of her current emotional instability. (1)

"Will you not come back with me? I can arrange for it to be done without any problems." Tamako said gently.

However, Rurihime actually shook her head.

"I do not think that I am ready to do so yet. I wish to stay here for a few days if that is possible."

"Stay in the nunnery? But that is…" Tamako was frowning because the reason that woman would do so when their husband was still alive was rather limited, and it was certainly not a good thing.

"I will say that I am praying for my mother." Rurihime said before she began to cry again. "Tamako-dono, I am really afraid that I might do something very bad if I go back."

"Something bad?"

"I do not know what but it will be something bad as I think I am going mad." Rurihime said. "I can't sleep there and I keep on thinking of so many things."

It was true that Rurihime was seventeen, but seventeen was still rather young, Tamako thought. After all, her own biggest worry at seventeen was when she would see Kagetoki next.

"But Rurihime-dono, what about Yoshihira-dono?" Tamako began. In truth, the boy would be perfectly fine, because it was not as if Rurihime was the only one responsible for the child. Nor was the child old enough to miss her. However, Tamako has discovered that this was something that would definitely affect the mother.

However, it seemed that she has gone too far as the young girl began another violent round of weeping.

"I do not mean that he would be in danger, but it is just that he might miss you." Tamako quickly said.

"Tamako-dono, I do not deserve to be Yoshihira's mother." Was the tearful confession. "I…I think I really just wanted a son to make Yasuhira care for me."

"Don't be foolish!" Tamako said very sharply and the firm tone seemed enough to temporary distract Rurihime.

"Rurihime-dono, how can you say such a thing when it is clear that you care so much for Yoshihira-dono?" Tamako began, her voice gentle now that she has gained the attention of the young girl. "I have seen you with Yoshihira-dono and it is clear that you are a very good mother who loves him. Tell me, would you care for you child any less if you had a daughter?"

As she predicted, a very violent shook of head was given.

"Therefore, let us return."

However, Rurihime actually shook her head again.

"I can't yet, Tamako-dono." She said firmly. "I am not ready yet."

"Is it because of Yasuhira-dono?"

A nod was given before Rurihime began to speak, her voice very soft. It was barely audible as they were the truth that she was a bit reluctant to admit out aloud.

"I think I am starting to realise that one cannot always have everything even if you try very hard." She whispered, and her gaze was suddenly very distant. "When I was a child in Kyo with my parents… my parents were loving to me and perhaps they spoilt me as I seemed to have all that I want. In addition, I was seen as quite accomplished due to my dancing." (2)

"I then came to Hiraizumi and I realised that things are very different. My accomplishment in Kyo actually does not really matter. Of course, I know that what I had in Kyo was not automatic, but I believed that if one worked hard to get something, then they would be able to get it."

"However…I know the truth now. Life is not as pleasant as that. You and Kunihira-dono, and then Iwako-dono actually all taught me this." at this, she looked at Tamako rather apologetically, but the elder woman indicated, with a gesture, that she wished for her to go on. "But most of all, it is Yasuhira-dono.

"I was only twelve years old when I met him and he was the first man to treat me in such a fashion. Even though I realised how different he probably was from me, I think he became special since that day. I want to do something for him, not just because he is my husband, but because of him being who he is.

"However, I did not know what to do. When I arrived here, he still regarded me as a child. He did not sleep with me until I was fifteen years old. But it was clear that this was for the sake of getting an heir.

"I then thought that he'd be happy with an heir and I thought that this meant that he might care for me if I was the one to achieve this for him. But…I think he is satisfied with me." Rurihime admitted a bit optimistically. "But that is all."

"Is it his love that you want?" Tamako asked gently upon the silence that appeared.

"I want to be loved by Yasuhira-dono as I love him. Yet it is impossible." Rurihime said in great despair. "I realised that no matter what I do, if he would not love then he would not. At the very best, he would be satisfied with me, but…his affections seemed something impossible. I realised that to do something that he want would not always result in affection, but merely that of satisfaction."

"But Rurihime-dono, Yasuhira-dono would definitely not be pleased if you stay in the nunnery like this." Tamako reasoned out. "Surely having his disapproval is so much worse."

"That is so, he must think of me as hysterical." Rurihime admitted, but her tone did not waver. "But it does not matter since he would be indifferent with me even if I do not create a scene. I need sometime to think…no, perhaps I just need sometime to escape the truth.

"Tamako-dono, surely you understand how scary it is to know that you will be in a marriage where the other would be completely indifferent to you. Yet I foolishly thought that I could change this. I need to stay here in order to accept this.

"That is why," she finished, "I am afraid of going back now. I cannot accept this yet- and the fact that I am in the same house with Yasuhira-dono would make it worse."

At this point, she began to cry again. Or, it might be more accurate to say that she resumed crying.

"I can't go back yet." She whispered. "I would go mad there. I believe that I can recover here…far away from the rest."

* * *

It was no longer possible for Yasuhira to be kept in the dark, and Kunihira pointed out that attempts of doing so would only make things worse due to his brother's personality. However, they did attempt to conceal it from Hidehira.

Tamako smiled easily and told Hidehira of why Rurihime was at the nunnery- a desire to pray for her mother, and maybe that of her father as well. It was a bit unusual but was not Rurihime always a bit different from the rest due to the being the princess of Kyo?

She was not sure whether their plan worked but at the very least, Hidehira accepted it. Therefore, she could step out of the room with a lighter heart.

Hidehira was a good man, but it was also important to recall that he was a strong ruler and one could not be that if they were only 'nice'. There has to be the capability of doing what was needed despite what one might feel. (3)

It was also a bit alarming. After all, Yasuhira's mother simply just left Yasuhira, and perhaps it was too dangerous to announce that Rurihime was doing a similar thing. One might easily protect about the necessity of such an alliance.

Tamako was going to return to her room, but she saw the familiar sight of her husband and his brother, and it seemed that she was not able to avoid them as they had both noticed her. She thought that maybe she ought not to bother because what did it matter if the servants wanted to gossip? However, to scream in the corridor still seemed a bit too much.

Therefore, she made a quick turn and walked into a room. Chances are that she would still be heard, but it would not be that bad as it would take place in doors.

As she predicted, both Kunihira and Yasuhira came.

"Tamako-dono, where is my wife? Did you not go to fetch her back?"

Tamako already knew that Yasuhira's words were going to make her mad, but she did not think that it would only take the very first sentence.

"I am not your servant!" she yelled back. "If you want her to be back then get her back yourself!"

"Tamako has a point, Yasuhira. It would be more efficient if you do so." Kunihira began, hoping that by siding with his wife, she would actually calm down a bit.

"Whose fault is it that Rurihime-dono is in this situation?" Tamako continued, not calming down one bit. "Yours! You would not even visit her when she was pregnant, and did you even visit her after she gave birth? Such little things would have made her very happy…such little things are what anyone would have done. Yet you didn't! Therefore, she felt that you did not care her one bit as you were only concerned with having the child that would be the heir! And you call yourself a man?"

"She is being hysterical and I refuse to join in." Yasuhira said coldly.

"Because it is too shameful for you to go to your wife that just need slight attention from you, which she definitely deserves after she just endured childbirth for your sake?" Tamako said in an equally chilling tone. "Then let me ask you this, Yasuhira-dono, is it not worse being the husband of a wife that has run away to hide in a nunnery?"

* * *

In the end, for the sake of Hiraizumi and his reputation, Yasuhira decided to go to the nunnery. Perhaps it was his expression as well as his character, but the head nun actually said the following warning to him.

"Yasuhira-dono, please do not forget that this is a nunnery which offers protection to those who seek it. Therefore, not even you can have the right to take anyone out of here by force."

"My wife," Yasuhira said evenly, "Was not seeking refugee and protection here."

"Then surely you can allow Rurihime-dono to stay here."

By this time, Rurihime was much calmer and even though she still seemed a bit dull due to being very tired, as well as showing traces of tears, she was looking much better.

"How long are you going to make a scene?" Yasuhira said upon entering. "This is ridiculous."

Her expression immediately darkened at his reply and a long sigh then followed. "Yasuhira-dono, can you not say any other thing?"

"This is unreasonable…and even childish! To run away just because you feel neglected." Yasuhira muttered.

However, this did not provoke any reaction other then another sigh.

"Yasuhira-dono, I am only seventeen now, and I was only fourteen when I came to live here. I am different from you by not growing up as fast." She said simply.

"This is ridiculous!" he repeated once again.

"I know, but I need to think a bit more. Therefore, please allow me to indulge myself a bit longer." Upon this, she closed her eyes and this was actually a dismissal, which naturally did not sit well with her husband.

"What do you want, Rurihime?"

"Yasuhira-dono, my absence does not really matter to you so why not just let it be?" she said softly, "People would talk, but do you really care?"

When she opened her eyes he was gone, and this did not surprise her, yet she could not help but to think about how nice it would be if he actually denied any part of her speech. If only her presence and absence actually mattered to him…even if it was only for a very small bit.

Yet this was clearly impossible.

It seemed that with the exception of the patriarch, there was no happy marriage in that house. Everyone seemed to be desiring for affections that would not be returned.

But perhaps she was the luckiest. Unlike Tamako, she was by the side of the man that she loved, and unlike Iwako, she did not have to see him being in love with another person.

She also had a son, a son that was accepted as the heir. She was also sure that her son would love her and she vowed to be a loving mother like the one she herself had.

She did feel a deep love the moment she saw her son, and she already missed him.

Yet the idea of going home…to where Yasuhria was, still hurts. To think that she would be there yet never see him as he was completely indifferent to her.

Just a bit longer…she decided…she would be here a bit longer. At this prospect, she actually became calmer.

* * *

Rurihime was actually still in the temple when Tamako brought news of what happened in Kyo. Tamako visited quite often and she admitted that fact that she wished she had a similar courage when her father decided to marry her off to Kunihira.

"Kiso Yoshinaka has been killed in a battle." Tamako began. "In the battle led by Minamoto no Yoshitsune." (4)

"Kurou-dono?" Rurihime recollected with a slightly sad smile. "He is someone that Mitachi and Yasuhira-dono both value greatly. But how is my son?"

Tamako gave the answer that was necessary, but once that was done, she was clearly distracted by something as she appeared rather agitated.

"What is wrong, Tamako-dono?"

"…it is said that the hakuryuu-no-miko has arrived." Tamako finally said. "And she is with the Genji."

"Houko-hime? Is she real?" at this, Rurihime's excitement actually made her seem like a little girl. "Though I do not really like her story because I think it is too sad- no one even acknowledge and realises what she did until it was too late. Until she disappeared."

"Not the priestess in the legend, but an actual girl." Tamako corrected. "But what alarms me is the fact that I learnt that the Kokuryuu-no-miko is Kajiwara Saku…Kagetoki's sister."

"But then shouldn't everything be alright then? It was said that Houko-hime and Chitose-hime summoned the dragon god and everything was solved."

"But it seems that this is not so." Tamako pointed out grimly.

A silence followed and Tamako then noticed something extremely unusual. Beside Rurihime's pillow was actually a white lotus in full bloom. However, it was winter, the flower should not even exist.

"It is beautiful, is it not?" Rurihime said upon following the gaze. She then picked it up in a way that showed the item was a precious treasure to her. "Tamako-dono, I am ready to go back."

"Are you sure?"

The younger woman smiled, and Tamako felt that that the other seemed to be at peace with all that had happened.

"A lot of things have happened, and I believe that Yasuhira-dono would not always be indifferent. Most of all," She said this with a smile as her eyes rested on the flower. "I do want to be by his side."

She took that out of place lotus with her and she kept it by her pillow. Yasuhira actually noticed it but he did not thought much about it, as he had other things to do instead of worrying how she managed to find such a flower.

However, he noticed how much she valued it.

"It was a special gift." She had said when Yasuhira asked about where she got it. It was not very important, but he was surprised because it was very strange. "By a visitor in the temple."

When the flower begins to wither, she actually pressed it in order to preserve it. At this, Tamako asked her why it was so important. It was true that having a white lotus at full bloom at this time of the year was a rather amazing thing, but when summer comes, they would be very common flowers.

"This flower is special to me because it made me realise that what is impossible can actually be possible."_  
_

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1)__ In the Heishi time, a woman's hair was a sign of her beauty and upper class women would take great effort with it. Therefore, as Rurihime was rather vain, her not taking care of her was very symbolic._

_(2)__ I did not write this sentence with the intention of referring to the whole Nozomi thing, but I feel that this actually summarises that really well. In Nozomi's case, she never know what it feels like to try and still fail, because she can always get what she want._

_(3)__ A bit like Kiyomori really. However, what annoy me is that this is just brushed aside and he is portrayed as a really nice guy._

_(4)__ In the very beginning of the game- when the PC first ends up in Kyo, she actually met Kurou when he was about to fight Yoshinaka._


	22. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty ****one**

_"If I've been alone from the beginning_

_I'll likely be alone until the end"_

_~ (__心よ最果ての氷原に__)_

Masako was the elder sister of Tamako, so she would now be in her late twenties, since she and Tamako only had a year apart in their age, and Tamako would be twenty seven this year. However, there seemed to be a sense of girlishness to Masako.

Yet she was not a young girl- if she wanted to then she could suddenly appear with great dignity. Her behaviour was very unpredictable. However, what made Kagetoki the most uncomfortable was how she could sound so sweet when she was saying something very chilling.

Whenever Kagetoki looked at Masako, he would think of Tamako. Was there any of Tamako's features on her elder sister? Yet it had been such a long time since he last saw her.

"It seemed that Kurou did a good job with the battle against Kiso Yoshinaka." Masako commented when Kagetoki finished his report. "Kagetoki, what do you think of Kurou?"

"He is…very devoted to Yoritomo-sama." Kagetoki began very carefully, making sure that he was striking the right balance. "He is very loyal."

"Is he a good general? You would have seen him in action."

"A good general. Everything," Kagetoki reinforced, "Kurou does is for the sake of Yoritomo-sama."

"Is that so? I did hear a very interesting thing- it is said that Kurou is travelling with the ryuujin-no-miko."

Kagetoki had always told Saku to make sure that no one would know of how she had these strange abilities due to Kokuryuu. However, Masako seemed to have discovered this and so Kagetoki had no choice but to have his sister accompanying them.

Saku herself did not mind as she desired to help the onrryuu, and she also pointed out that she was not a child to be isolated from all possible danger.

"Not your sister- the kokuryuu-no-miko." Masako said a bit sharply. "I heard that it is the hakuryuu-no-miko that appeared."

"There are rumours that such a person travelled with Kurou during the battle against Kiso Yoshinaka, but I did not meet up with Kurou during the battle. When I did see him in the battle with some of the Heike, he was alone." He said truthfully.

"Then confirm it. It would be useful if we have the hakuryuu-no-miko on our side as she is said to be able to seal onryuu." At this, Masako suddenly smiled, "Did you and my sister not spend sometime in Kyo? Therefore, you would know the story of the ryuujin-no-miko much better then me."

"I have heard a few stories." Kagetoki admitted. "But Masako-sama, they are probably mere folk tales."

"They are certainly amusing in many ways. I like the story of Houko-hime much better then the first miko, because it shows human nature. I did wonder why there are so many stories of her. In fact, why is she called hime when the other was merely the miko? Chitose-hime could be a hime as she did hold that position, although she barely held it. But since the hakuryuu-no-miko became a hime, it probably seemed natural to do so for the kokuryuu-no-miko as well. The real reason, however, is funny." Her lips parted into a smile, but it was not a pleasant smile. "People glorify her in stories and spread many tales as they are guilty."

"Guilty?" he could not help but to repeat this.

"All the stories of Houko-hime remain the same until the end. She was alone with no believers, while the one believer- the hime of the hoshi-no-ichizuku - showed a blind trust that would not really help. In addition, Houko-hime was even blamed for not doing enough at times. The truth is that the people of Kyo felt guilty at this, especially when she did save them."

"As the people only noticed what she did after she disappeared, they can only show their gratitude by remembering her?"

"Exactly. That way, Houko-hime is a tragic character. The truth is that observers afterward tended to feel sorry for those who are alone. On the other hand, one who supported and faced little problem would be seen in the opposite way." (1)

Kagetoki was sure that she was giving him some sort of warning, but he was not sure whether he understood it.

The rather sharp sound of her fan snapping together startled him out of his reverie, and she then began to laugh in a rather girlish way again.

"I must stop being distracted." Her tone was light, but what followed should not result in a change of tone. "Kagetoki, Kamakura-dono has a very important job for you."

He inclined his head to show that he would do all that was required- even though it might very well be something that he loath.

"Oh there is no need for you to look so worried!" she said with a laugh. "It is not that bad. We merely wish for you to work with Kurou and tell us about what he is doing. After all, Kurou is still rather young."

"…to observe Kurou?" he repeated this as he tried very hard to not frown. "Masako-sama, is this necessary?"

"Oh, I know that you are very concerned since Kurou is a grown man and so would not like this idea. Therefore, make sure that you do not interfere with his decisions. That way, he would not even know."

This time, the warning was very clear. He was meant to notice and report Kurou's mistake, not to correct them.

To Kagetoki, this was one of the worst situations- to see Kurou making a mistake and yet is unable to help him.

Kagetoki liked the other, but he had to admit that there was a naivety in Kurou that would definitely not work in his favour.

* * *

Kyo, Kagetoki decided, was now a very strange place. It was true that onryuu were actually running wild, yet the people seemed to carry on with the rest of their life the way it was. Despite the possibility of onryuu appearing, the market was still set up and people were crowded around certain stalls.

He did not mean to look at that piece of fabric, it was just that his attention was suddenly caught by it, and without thinking, he held it up and examine it.

It was a thin silk for summer and even though he himself did not really pay attention to what he wore, he did still have some knowledge of the feel and quality of fabric due to doing the laundry. This was a rather fine silk and it was quite pleasing to look at. It was a pale pink that was very pleasing.

"Sir, that is a very fine fabric." The owner immediately said upon seeing the potential buyer. "I am sure that your wife will look very beautiful."

He actually allowed himself this slight indulgence- pretending that he could present this fabric to Tamako. At first, she would ask the price and probably scold him for spending so much money. However, the end would be the same. She would smile and kiss him, excited at the prospect of having a very beautiful gown. She would definitely put on the gown as soon as she finished making it, and the fact that he would tell her how suitable it was would make her even happier.

She was like that. She would never demand it, yet she would be very happy when she has it.

The stall owner continued to talk but Kagetoki was not really paying attention to the other. He was thinking of the time he had done the laundry with her and then that special smell of the newly washed clothes would be there when he held her against him.

"How much is it?" he found himself asking even though it was very foolish for him to think about buying it. No one would wear it. His mother preferred another colour while Saku has put away her old clothes upon being a nun in order to don a nun's robe.

The price was quite high and before, he would have to put it down and consider giving Tamako another present. However, he was able to buy it now. (2)

Yet who would wear it?

Perhaps he ought to hide the bundle so Saku would not scold him for wasting money. At this, he chuckled softly. At least they were both continuing with their everyday life by being concerned about things that were clearly trivial.

Right now, he and Saku were both living in Kyo due to the past events. He much rather not as the place resulted in too many memories. However, he had no choice.

At least this was not the worst case scenario as Tamako did not live in Kyo. That would be too much.

A loud scream suddenly interrupted his thoughts and he saw that onryuu has suddenly appeared. Even though he hated fighting, he had no choice other then doing something about it.

Pulling out his gun, he fired the first shot. Luckily, it was a perfect hit. However, there was more then one.

"This would not be an easy task." He said to himself.

At that moment, he saw her.

The girl was wearing the robes of a nun, but her hair was much too long. In addition, she was wielding a rather unusual looking sword. Without any hesitation, she brought the sword down to strike an onryuu. (3)

"Senpai, be careful!" Kagetoki did not know who the other was, but he could tell how important that person spoken must be. Turning, he saw the speaker. Kagetoki was very surprised because he was sure that the cloth worn by the young man was his!

"Nozomi! Yuzuru-dono!"" now his sister was here. "…aniue?"

"I would like to know what is going on as well, but we have to get this done first." Kagetoki said grimly.

With the additional help, everything was solved quickly. The girl they referred to as Nozomi was not that good, but her weapon seemed to be something that would do great damage with each blow, however it was struck. The young man was an archer and he demonstrated a skill that many bushi would have praised. (4)

"Has things become that bad…" Kagetoki was just saying when the final member of the party, a young boy his was dressed in a very strange style, suddenly grabbed him by the end of the clothes.

"Miko, this is the chi-no-byako." The boy then stretched up and tried to touch his collarbone. "There is the gem."

"What – " Kagetoki's own words ended in a very sharp inhale as a strange gem has suddenly appeared at his collarbone. Strangely, he knew that this was not an evil being that he needed to be weary of. He then saw that the other youth actually had a similar looking gem at his ear. (5)

"Aniue is a hachiyo as well?" Saku examined out in surprise.

"Just what is going on?" Kagetoki examined out once more.

However, an explanation was only given when they returned to his house. After all, this was not a subject that could be easily discussed on the open street. By this time, they were untied with others: including Kurou and Benkei. There was another stranger, although the other's appearance showed him to be a member of the oni-no-ichizuku.

"So I am a hachiyo as well?" Kagetoki finished the summary of his understanding with this. "Then I guess I will have to do my best to protect you, Nozomi-chan."

The miko seemed to be a cheerful girl whose character seemed to be a direct contrast of his sister. Kagetoki felt that the other would allow her emotions be shown easily.

"But I probably should change my address toward you, shouldn't I?" he suddenly said. "Like miko-sama or miko-dono?"

"There is no need to be so formal with me." Nozomi quickly said. "Beside, you are much more older then me."

"Then it is Nozomi-chan!" he said merrily.

"Aniue!" Saku said with a shook of her head before she turned to Nozomi. "I am sorry that my brother is like this."

Because of this, she failed to notice her brother ceasing his smile. Kagetoki could not help but to feel that his words were a lie. After all, how could he actually protect her when he could not even protect the ones that were so important to him? (6)

That was not fully accurate…he was not able to fully protect Tamako as he drove her away.

"But aniue, what is in that bundle?" Saku suddenly asked.

"I…this fabric was very cheap." He lied and he decided that he might as well let her know what it was since she clearly knew that there was something in there.

"Aniue, we don't need such a thing!" Saku said with a sigh. "No one would wear it."

"It is a pretty fabric though." Nozomi examined out.

"Why don't you have it then, Nozomi-chan?" after all, it would probably never be used, and even worse was that it would probably end up being yet another reminder of Tamako.

"Really?" this was the only protest she had since everyone seemed to be so generous in this world. She has yet to be at a stage where an act of gift would have been a miracle. (7)

"I am sure that it would be a very pretty kimono." Kagetoki said merrily.

"Kagetoki, has aniue give you any message to pass to me?" Kurou quickly asked as soon as he had the opportunity to do so.

"I did not really get a chance to talk to Yoritomo-sama, although I did talk to Masako-sama. Masako-sama did say that you did very well in the battle and this is probably what Yoritomo-sama thinks too, although Yoritomo-sama is not someone who would easily show what he thinks."

Out of fear that Kurou might press the question on, he quickly turned to his sister. "Saku, hahaue says that she hope you might return to Kamakura soon."

That was enough for the subject to be changed.

* * *

Even though there were no immediate battles to be fought, there was much work for them to do due to both he and Kurou's position. One of it turned out to be attending the ritual for requesting rain at shinsenen. Due to the insistence of Nozomi, Kagetoki ended up taking them. It was true that he did not need to, but he felt that this was not really an option. Yuzuru was very responsible and mature, but he was still a stranger to Kyo. Benkei would have been good, but the other had some private business to attend. Ridvan would easily cause problems due to his appearance, and it was not as if he was there anyway.

Due to the location of the place, Kagetok and Saku told the others about the legend that was associated with it. He expected questions to come, that was natural, but the emotions behind Yuzuru's words still shocked him.

"And the hakuryu-no-miko's fate is uncertain?" Yuzuru said and it was clear that the answer was very important to him.

"No one is sure. Some say that she merely returned to the world that she came from, while darker versions attributed her death to the leader of the oni-no-ichizuku, she either died for him, or was killed by him." Kagetoki said honestly, he was still a bit worried at saying this even though Ridvan was not here.

"But Kagetoki-san, you said that there were a lot of endings." Yuzuru said sharply.

"Well, some also say that she was so injured from the final battle that she ended up dying shortly afterward. Another story say that she lived, just that no one ever found her. There was even a version where she was took by a god in a different realm, as that god fell in love with her and ended up making her into a goddess."

He was careful to omit the ones that might cause Yuzuru and Nozomi great worry: the claim that Houko-hime only managed to summon the ryuujin by sacrificing her own life. But surely this was not applicable to them when the dragon god was already right beside them.

"But the kokuryuu-no-miko lived very well and very long. She married one of the hachiyo- Fujiwara no Yukitaka, who was the betto-dono of Kyo at that time."

Once again, Kagetoki thought of Masako's words: Houko-hime, the last hakuryuu-no-miko had been a tragic character because she was demanded to do so much without being given any help. She was alone and remained alone until the end. Yet when she was finally loved and revered by the people, she was not there to enjoy it.

What would she feel if she knew that this would be her fate? Strangely enough, he felt that he could emphasise with her. He was not sure what she thought, but he would definitely prefer to be with others instead of being alone, yet celebrated as a hero upon her death.

But then, he was not Houko-hime.

However, be began to think of the lines of a waka that he had composed quite some time ago. He could not remember the exact words, but it went something like the following.

"He who that is alone when he takes his footstep is probably he who would take his last step by himself." (8)

* * *

The observation of the ritual should have been a break by being something relaxing. However, things became very wrong when Goshikawa-houou noticed Nozomi and Saku. Saku had the perfect reason and any other men would probably not even dare to ask due to her attire. At this, Kagetoki wished that Nozomi was still wearing his sister's clothes, although he was sure that Nozomi would not have lied.

Nozomi did learn to dance from Saku and the problem was that she was quite good at it as she had much more practice at this then the fighting lessons from Ridvan. As if to make things worse for herself, it actually began to rain.

By this time, even Kurou discovered the situation.

Kagetoki was actually thinking about whether he should try to create some sort of a diversion, or say that Nozomi was an orphaned girl under his protection and was thinking seriously of becoming a nun. He had to do something because the result of him not doing so was having Nozomi being taken from them.

However, it seemed that Kurou already had a solution.

"Goshikawa-en, please wait." Kurou suddenly yelled out. "This person and I have swore to marry! Therefore I cannot hand her over to anyone else, not even you."

Kagetoki was just going to compliment Kurou on the idea and the acting when he suddenly noticed Yuzuru's state. Not only was the other clenching his first, it looked as if he was going to yell something out.

"Yuzuru-kun, this is not the time." Kagetoki hissed, and he was seriously considering whether he should take the other's weapon away.

Luckily, very luckily, Yuzuru remained composed until Kurou and Nozomi arrived back.

"What is the meaning of you two swearing to marry!" Yuzuru demanded, and Kagetoki wondered whether the reason Yuzuru did not grab onto any of them was because he was not sure who to grab.

"Yuzuru-kun, calm down!" Nozomi said very quickly. Yet the fact that she did not immediately explain indicated that she did not really understand why he was behaving in such a way.

The very same could be said of Kurou, although he at least revealed the act.

"Why are you so upset? It was just an act."

At this, Kagetoki decided that he best do some explanation to prevent Yuzuru creating a scene as the younger boy was still very agitated. Just when he though that Yuzuru calmed down, Nozomi and Kurou actually began another argument.

"I think Goshikawa-houou-sama might still be looking at this direction." Kagetoki suddenly said. "Besides, this is all solved so why not just let it be?"

As a result of all that had happened, Kagetoki was really relieved at finally being home. Yuzuru seemed to have improved his mood as he was talking about how he planned to cook something really good as compensation to everyone for all that had happened.

Kagetoki knew that he should really use this time to relax as well and there were washings that he could do. However, he seemed to like to create trouble for himself, as he had to realise that the events today did not just end here, as there were many consequences.

He would need to talk to Kurou, but how to do so in a way that would not appear as if he was helping Kurou? In the end, he decided to say it in a way as if he was merely discussing something that Kurou already thought about.

"Kurou, have you informed Yoritomo-sama of this?" Kagetoki said in what he hoped to a very natural tone. "I know that it was just an act, but it would be real to the others. Therefore, it would most likely reach Kamakura as a piece of rumour that is based on truth."

"Why would I need to tell aniue about this?"

Since he was asked, surely he could answer the question?

"First of all, you are Yoritomo-sama's brother so a marriage will be seen as creating some sort of connection. Secondly, the person you are said to be engaged with is not just any woman."

Luckily, Benkei was there as well.

"Of course, this will be seen as a sign, as an indication." Benkei said before he added the following, probably on purpose. "Do you think that he would be made to divorce his wife as you were?"

"I still find it hard to believe that aniue would do that." Kurou said. After all, he has heard rumour about how it was a very affectionate marriage. Once again, Kagetoki had to wonder whether he was right by concealing the real fact that it was he who came up with it. Despite the fact that this did help Tamako, it still hurt to hear others call him a dog who obeys Yoritomo's every word.

At one hand, that was true, yet at least that bit was not true.

At that moment Yuzuru appeared to tell them that dinner was ready. Even though he did not mean to, he seemed to have heard what they were saying.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) __I really did not mean for there to be a parallel of Houko's story and Kagetoki's story, but the more I see it and the more I work on this story, I realise that there is quite an obvious similarity. At least for me, Houko's situation is very like Kagetoki. She was alone with little support, hence the people of Kyo feel sorry for her after they realised how she helped them. For me, that is really what I feel towards Kagetoki. He is doing all this alone, yet no one knows, and that is why I feel so sorry for him (a bit like what I feel for Nasatya too). And this is probably why I like Karin so much more then Akane and Nozomi, as well as why I think Karin is so much more stronger then them._

_(2) __Maybe it is because I am biased, but I feel that Yoritomo was not that bad a master. It is true that he made Kagetoki do a lot of things that he did not like, but he did keep up his side of the bargain. Therefore, I feel that he would have probably treated Kagetoki quite well in that aspect, so I think Kagetoki would, at the very least, be spared of worrying about financial aspects._

_(3) __I just find the idea of them having their clothes changed too weird, so they came in their uniform. Therefore, Nozomi would be wearing Saku's clothes, while Yuzuru would most likely be given Kagetoki's clothes to wear._

_(4) __Okay, in regard to Nozomi…come on, she had a few lessons and suddenly she is so good? Besides, this is taking place when she first arrives in Kyo. So she would only have had a few lessons. In the story, Nozomi did get a second chance, but I actually never mention where it is at. Partly because I, as the author, have no idea._

_(5) __As they pointed out in previous Haruka games, you can only see the gem when you realise that you are a hachiyo._

_(6)__ Obviously, Tamako is an OC of my insertion. However, I feel that this is what Kagetoki thinks, in regard to his family. He has to protect them this way, which he clearly dislikes, so how is it possible for him to suddenly feel that he could protect this stranger?_

_(7) __Which is the situation of Karin/Houko._

_(8) __I admit, I was shameless here, I took this line from Kagetoki's song, which I used in the beginning of this chapter_


	23. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty ****two**

_"Other than me, there is nobody else but you_

_Who can protect that person's smile."_

_~ (__時の河を渡れ__)_

News has arrived from Kamakura and it meant an end to the short peace that they had. They were to fight the Heike and both Nozomi and Yuzuru would be going. Right now, Nozomi was the hakuryuu-no-miko in addition to being Kurou's fiancée. Due to Benkei's help, the letter of explanation that was sent to Yoritomo was a very good one.

Not only would this prevent Nozomi from being taken away, it also justified her fighting along with the Genji. Even though she was becoming very skilled with a sword due to Ridvan's teaching, the idea of taking her to a battle was still a bit too much. It was fully acceptable for the wives of general to accompany their husband to camps, and such actions might even be praised. However, for her to take part in the actual battle would be too much. (1)

There were exceptions, such as Kiso Tomoe, but this was very rare. In fact, some even said that this was another example of how barbaric Yoshinaka and the others were.

However, Nozomi decided to do so. Because of this, Yuzuru decided to do so as well.

Kagetoki supposed that his liking for Nozomi is natural as he was a hachiyo while she was the miko. It was probably also because she was a rather kind yet determined person. He could find an admiration toward that determination.

However, he actually struck a deep friendship with Yuzuru. Even though the other was much younger and still a bit naïve due to his youth, as well as being so serious that Kagetoki did feel like sighing now and then, he still felt that he has grown very fond of the younger man.

In fact, he actually wished to prevent the other from coming along with them to this battle even though he accepted and even admired Nozomi's decision.

However, Kagetoki did not really get to talk to Yuzuru as the other was very busy due to his senpai.

Was that another cause in why he befriended the young boy? He saw a similar scene as what happened with Kunihira and so was trying to make up for what he did not notice then?

It was late spring right now, and the sakura would be in full bloom. Even though his reason for refusing to attend Nozomi's outing of viewing the sakura was that this might affect his work, it was a lie. He could make the time if he truly wished to.

The real reason was that he did not with to go to Ninnaji, which had memories that were too painful.

Since Kurou also expression difficulty in doing so, he was able to get away with it.

However, Nozomi then suggested that they view the sakura at night time, and this actually made things worse. After all, it had been night time when the three of them watched the sakura together at that very said temple.

Unfortunatly, he had run out of excuses.

Mankind was really strange. When they had to avoid a place due to memories that was evoked, then they would do so. However, once they ended up being there, then they would choose to go to this exact place of the memory.

Kagetoki had tried to avoid ninnaji and the sakura, but once he was there, he actually went to the very spot that the three of them had sat.

It was a whole decade ago, yet he could still see the three teenagers there. The three who laughed together with the belief that the future would be very well.

He was so absorbed in staring at the sakura that he did not notice that someone was actually approaching that spot as well.

"Kagetoki."

"Ku-nihira?" for a brief moment, Kagetoki almost wonder whether he was hallucinating, or whether he actually created an illusion. However, the other was a much elder figure then the boy that had laughed with him. There was also a grimness about him that seemed to be the reminder of this being a reality.

"Why are you in Kyo?" Kagetoki finally said before he realised an even more important thing. "Is she…here?"

"What will you do if I say yes?" Kunihira asked, although he did not keep the other in suspense for long as he quickly answered the negative: "Much has happened in Hiraizumi and my business would not bring her to Kyo with me."

Kunihira then sat down and placed a flask of wine between them. "I have some more time before I need to leave. As for why I am here, I am in Kyo on behalf of Yasuhira. His mother has died and since he can not leave Hiraizumi to attend the funeral, I am sent."

"He is not attending the funeral?" Kagetoki sat down as well, but there was a clear distance between the two of them.

"He has too much business in Hiraizumi…which you probably would know." At this, Kunihira drank some wine as a silence has fall between them once more. "I have to admit…I never expected this to happen. That things would end up being like this."

Kagetoki did not answer, he merely took a mouthful of the wine. The party of three on that day ten years ago had been so different.

"Kagetoki, she cut her hair." Kunihira suddenly said.

"She cut her hair?" at first, Kagetoki was surprised but he then worked out what Kunihira meant. "I know this. Masako-sama told me about it."

"Like a nun. She cut her hair when I first said that I would marry her." Kunihira added bitterly. "She continues to cut her hair. I am also Kunihira-dono to her."

This was her way of expressing how she did not wish to be in this marriage.

"Kunihira, I have a question to ask you." the wine was all drunk and this indicated that quite some time has passed. However, the two who would once have spoken at the same time due to having too much to talk about, now barely spoke a few sentences to one another. "Were the memories of Kyo happy for you as well?"

"…yes." The reply was not immediate, but it was then a definite one as he had much time to think about it. "It is true that I began to care for Tamako in Kyo, but I did not realise what I felt until that day- when both Tamako and I realised that we had to leave Kyo- which was the last time that I saw the two of you in Kyo."

"One of my companions reminds me of you- the admirer that is not noticed at all." Kagetoki said. "He makes me feel guilty."

"If you feel guilty then you should feel guilty about the divorce. As I said, I did not regard you and Tamako being in love as something that I blame you for. Kagetoki- I have a question for you too." A nod was given, but the question was not asked until sometimes later, and it was really said as a statement. "Kagetoki, I have a sokushitsu."

What reaction did he expected to get? Kunihira thought that his friend would be relieved, while Tamako denies this possibility. It turned out that neither of them knew him well enough.

"What does Tamako's say?" Was Kagetoki's reaction.

"She is happy about it alright." Kunihira muttered. "Probably the only time she is happy with me."

"But you will not divorce her?" this was asked with great concern. "Even if your sokushitsu would give you an heir."

Kunihira couldn't help but to laugh as the situation was too ridiculous by being the way around. However, he forced himself to calm down and deliver an answer.

"Kagetoki- I won't give her to any other man." He said very firmly. "But do you really wish for Tamako to be my wife?"

"She is safe there." Kagetoki said firmly. "That is what I wish."

That is all that he could wish.

Kunihira stood up and Kagetoki wished that there was something that he could say to make the situation better- to change the situation as this might very well be the last time that they talk.

"I heard that you are travelling with Kurou." Kunihira suddenly said. "Is he here? My father orders me to bring a message to Kurou."

"Messages?" Kagetoki said this word in a tone that Kunihira realised to be significant. (2)

"Merely greetings and well wish." Kunihira said before he frowned. "Why are you so concerned?"

"To a certain extent…only to a certain extent, Yoritomo-sama reminds me of Yasuhira. Kunihira, do you remember what he had said when you went to find him upon your arrival in Kyo?"

"…is this a warning, Kajiwara Kagetoki, the military of the Genji?"

"Yoritomo-sama is my master, so Kurou is merely a comrade. One answers to their master."

At this, Kunihira nodded in understanding. However, this then raised a second question. "Kagetoki, is this worth it?"

Because the one who asked was his best friend regardless of all that has happened, Kagetoki admitted the truth.

"Maybe a different answer should have been given."

* * *

Unknown to Kagetoki, Yuzuru has actually been observing him. After all, Yuzuru knew the story of the Genpi war enough to be weary of Kagetoki, even if he seemed very different. Kajiwara Kagetoki was said to have a very bad relationship with Yoshitsune, which caused him to be very critical of the other in front of Yoritomo. Even though to blame him for everything might be a bit too much, Kagetoki was responsible. (3)

Yet this Kajiwara Kagetoki…Yuzuru could really not imagine him doing so. This man seemed light hearted and merry, yet unlike his own elder brother, Kagetoki's words and actions did not hurt him in anyway. (4)

However, the long conversation he had with the sudden stranger did make him suspicious once again. Was this a messenger from Kamakura? When the other approached them, he actually automatically took a step forward in order to shield Nozomi.

"Yuzuru, there is no need to be on guard." Benkei assured him. "This man is Fujiwara no Kunihira and he is a friend to both Kurou and I."

"Does he know Kagetoki-san?" Yuzuru asked when Kurou confirmed this by stepping forward and clasping the other's hand.

"I think they used to be friends in Kyo although what happens now is uncertain." Benkei said.

After the exchange of basic greetings, Kunihira suddenly said the following: "I heard that you are engaged?"

Even though what happened was a lie, Yuzuru still find it painful to hear this. Therefore, he actually walked away.

"Yuzuru-kun, why don't you sit with me?!" Kagetoki offered with a smile. At this, Yuzuru found himself frowning again: this is the Kajiwara Kagetoki that would be partly responsible for the death of Minamoto no Yoshitsune?

"Yuzuru-kun, what type of person do you think I am?" Kagetoki suddenly said. "Perhaps I am simply being paranoid, but I feel that you seem to expect me to do something dramatic any second."

"No, it is not that." Yuzuru quickly denied this and he was actually quite surprised at how observant the other was, as he was sure that he had been quite discreet. "It is simply because you are very different from the history that I know."

"Oh, how so?"

At this, Yuzuru realised that he merely escaped from one problem by creating a new one. Even though the version of another world was allowed to be different, it was still impossible for him to say it.

There must be something inoffensive…

"Your age!" he said, grabbing onto the life straw. "In the history from our world, you are actually much older as you have a son that is grown and fighting beside you." (5)

"A son, is it?" at this, Kagetoki sighed deeply. "This needed not be something fully impossible."

"Kagetoki-san?"

Kagetoki was not sure what he would achieve by telling his past to Yuzuru, yet he hoped that it would be of some help. After all, it had been a slightly similar situation. At the very least, it could serve as a warning.

"I was married." Kagetoki suddenly said and even though he tried to prevent his voice altering, it still ended up being very sad. "It was an engagement that was arranged when the two of us were quite young. By chance, we met in Kyo before we were to marry. I was there in order to study Onmyōdō, while she was serving in her relative's house. By chance, we met another who became our good friend- the man whom I was just talking to: Fujiwara no Kunihira.

"Tamako was my fiancée who I loved, while Kunihira ended up being my best friend. To Tamako, he was her special friend. However, things were different from Kunihira. He ended up being in love with Tamako.

"Much then happened. I married Tamako but then had to divorce her. At this…" he sighed at this as this bit was when the happy story suddenly had a new twist. "Kunihira decided that he would marry Tamako regardless of what she thought. As a result, the two of them are very unhappy with one another.

"Of course, Kunihira knew that she did not want to marry and would view her husband with hatred but…his love for her is so that he would do so despite knowing what she feels. As long as he could be with her…"

"I would never do that to senpai!" Yuzuru yelled out.

"Yuzuru-kun, that man was my best friend and he was also Tamako's very good friend." Kagetoki reasoned out. "Neither of us ever thought that he would go that far. However, I think what makes me feel really guilty is the fact that neither Tamako nor I noticed what he felt."

An awkward silence followed before Kagetoki decided to conclude the story.

"But Yuzuru-kun is smarter then us so you will probably not make our decision. But all our follies were due to love. Kunihira and his decision of marrying her; Tamako for continuing to hold onto the past as she loves me. As for me…I am the very worst. Because I love Tamako, I seem to have decided that I can choose her happiness for her."

"…Kagetoki-san, do you not miss her?" Yuzuru asked.

"I miss her every single day." Kagetoki said bluntly and honestly. "Yet this is my decision."

"How could you do so?" this was said with no little reproach.

"Because I felt that she would not be happy with me." he said softly. "But then, she said that her happiness is with me."

"I don't think I can understand Kagetoki-san's actions." Yuzuru said firmly.

"You are not in my role." Was Kagetoki's answer. However, he decided to change the subject, although it was still a most severe one. "Yuzuru-kun, I think it would be better if you do not come with us in the battle." (6)

The answer was very predicable.

"I must protect senpai."

"But have you really made the necessary resolution?" Kagetoki said very grimly. "Saku never fights because that is not her task, although I am not very sure about Nozomi-chan. However, they are the ryuujin-no-miko so they would be protected. You, however, will not have any special privileges." (7)

"I can protect myself." Yuzuru said without any hesitation.

"Yuzuru-kun, tell me, how do you live in a battle if there is no one who would protect you?" Kagetoki suddenly said.

"By…killing your opponent yourself." The answer was very soft because this was the first time when this resolution was spoken out aloud.

"And have you prepared yourself for that, Yuzuru-kun?" for the first time, Yuzuru thought that the elder man's voice and tone were suddenly rather hard.

"Out there, you will have no opportunity to hesitate." Kagetoki continued. "Yet when you go there, you will wish to hesitate. And even if you are the lucky one by surviving…it will be very hard to forget the faces of those that you killed, because they are the ones that you destroyed in order to advance. Even if you win…it will still be very painful."

Kurou spoke of the battle as a way to help his brother in creating that vision, as well as a way for him to be useful. For Benkei, it was a necessary evil that needed to happen in order to bring peace. Yet Kagetoki, someone who grew up in such as surrounding and expectation, spoke it with great bitterness.

Unlike some of the others, he seemed to be in great pain just by being here.

"Kagetoki-san, why are you fighting?" Yuzuru asked.

"To live." Kagetoki said softly. "But when is this no longer enough?"

To Yuzuru, Kagetoki was always a cheerful person. Therefore, the other's behaviour tonight was very strange. In fact, he even pointed it out.

"It is the full moon!" Kagetoki said with a smile that was very reminiscent of his usual self. "People often do unusual things when the moon is full. It is also the wine that Kunihira brought." (8)

As Kagetoki looked at that full moon, he suddenly thought of the story of the woman in the moon. The story says that she took the price that was meant to be for both her and her husband in order to go to the heaven and become a goddess, instead of just being an immortal. (9)

Was she lonely?

How could she not be? Kagetoki decided. However, would her husband condemn her? The husband she betrayed was said to have suffered a second betrayal as his own pupil shot him. However, was he perhaps a bit relieved at the fact that his beloved wife was free from this?

"We have such a story in our world as well." Yuzuru said in response. "But we also have people who could go on the moon."

At this, Kagetoki immediately began to ask Yuzuru questions and the younger man felt that their situation has suddenly changed. The elder man was like a student who was eagerly asking questions upon being in a lesson that he really liked.

However, Yuzuru was not able to forget how different Kagetoki had suddenly been.

* * *

The battle was a complete victory for the Genji as they had discovered the trap that the Heike created. However, Yuzuru was to keep on recalling Kagetoki's words of how winning would still be painful.

He went to the battle and as he was not protected by anyone else, he had to protect himself by killing the enemies that would have killed him. This was just what Kagetoki said.

Yet it had still been hard despite his resolution. He suspected that he was actually very lucky in being here since he was certain that he actually hesitated upon the first enemy. Even though he immediately fixed his arrow on the target, he did not immediately realise it.

He was going to kill someone…

However, he had little time to hesitate as that being was approaching his senpai.

"I will protect senpai." He said firmly as he released the carefully aimed arrow.

The battle that followed was still intense despite the Genji's advantage. As a result, Yuzuru didn't really get time to think about what had happened until much later. He would have liked to talk to Nozomi, but she had her own problems to face and so was looked after by Saku and Hakuryuu.

The others seemed to be in some sort of meeting which he was allowed to be excused from.

Their group- if such description was applicable- was increased by the stranger who only revealed the name 'Hinoe'. They met him in Kyo on a chance stroll at the street and then discovered that he was a hachiyo as well. In addition, he also seemed to be related to Benkei, although both men kept the truth rather vague.

Yuzuru could not deny that the stranger was a good person to have as a companion since he was very resourceful as well as capable. However…it was impossible for him to just accept the other person.

This was all due to how he treated Nozomi.

Even though Yuzuru was jealous of his own brother, he knew what his senpai and his brother thought of one another well enough; Kagetoki was friendly to Nozomi but it was in a very brotherly fashion and Yuzuru could tell that the one he loved was the wife he divorced; Benkei had the tendency to say something extravagant now and then, but he was like that with other women and it was clear that they were merely words. It was true that Hakuryuu was always with Nozomi, but he seemed to only be a child, as for sensei…Yuzuru was sure that he was not that paranoid!

Strangely enough, Nozomi and Kurou seemed to be quite close despite their constant bickering. However, Yuzuru know that this is something he must accept, as it would be wrong if he desired to imprison her!

Hinoe, however…

As if his extravagant praises that were spoken so many times were not annoying enough, the fact that he seemed to be constantly 'accidentally' touching Nozomi, such as grabbing her hand or a lock of hair, and whisper right into her ears, was enough to make him angry.

"Yuzuru-kun, are you feeling better?" the question was rather ironic since the one who asked was clearly troubled by something.

"I know that you really ought to be resting but we decided that it is better to have you and Nozomi-chan's opinion." Kagetoki said.

It turned out that the battle had perhaps been a bit too successful as a new chance has presented itself. Their initial plan was to just fight this battle, but they now had the chance of continuing the attack.

"…if we continue the attack into Fukuhara then we have a great chance of destroying much of the Heike's power." Hinoe concluded his argument with a confident wink toward Nozomi. "Hime-gime, I will deliver this victory to you!"

"I disagree!" Kagetoki said very quickly and Yuzuru noticed that he remained very agitated. "We- the Genji- are only allowed all this due to the appearance of guarding Kyo from the Heike."

"As you said, it is merely an appearance." Hinoe countered. "Surely the most important thing for you lot is the Genji winning. I doubt that you can get another chance as good."

"This is still too dangerous." Kagetoki pointed out again.

"What is so dangerous about this?" Hinoe commented with a roll of his eyes.

"Our orders were to guard Kyo." Kagetoki said and he turned to Kurou. "This is what Yoritomo-sama orders us to do."

"Wouldn't it be better to present him with the spoils of the victory instead of letting him know that he missed a chance due to you not wishing to decide for him?" Hinoe reasoned.

"I know that our orders were to guard Kyo and I should really ask for aniue's permission." Kurou admitted. "However, Hinoe is right. This is too good a chance to miss. Kagetoki, I understand your reasons as well, but I believe that attacking Fukuhara is the right thing. I will send aniue a report of why I did so, so he would know why I did so before the news arrive. I will attack tonight and I believe that aniue would understand, because his goal is for all this to end."

"I am sure that Kurou-san will win." Nozomi declared out.

"…it seems that everyone made their resolution." Kagetoki said softly when the others gave their assent as well. "Then I will be resolute as well."

The others would only understand his words much later on.

The actual fighting was successful, but the rest of it was disastrous.

Nozomi found a wounded man who she insisted on looking after, and he seemed to be a member of the Heishi although his name was not known. At the worst, he would probably have the last name 'Taira', which would make it rather hard for him to change sides.

Kagetoki was in the process of deciding what he should write in his report to Yoritomo when he was suddenly interrupted by Nozomi and Kurou arguing. Since he was probably looking for an excuse to escape the report that would cause Kurou harm, he seized the chance of escaping too happily.

"He is injured and so should be looked after!" Nozomi was saying, while Kurou was naturally quoting out the necessary rules. Surprisingly, Hinoe was actually taking part by helping Nozomi.

"But Kuoru, it might not be a bad thing." Kagetoki said. "If he- a member of the Heishi joins, then it might encourage others to do so. Besides, it is not as if there are not many Heishi who serves Yoritomo-sama."

A very ironic comment because he himself was one, while the Hōjō family were another major group.

"…the ten no Genbu." Hakuryuu suddenly said and this was one of the few times when he sounded very serious. "This is the ten on Genbu: Taira no Atsumori."

"Hakuryuu, are you sure?" all of a sudden, Kagetoki's voice became very sharp.

"The ten no Genbu is drawn to miko." Hakuryuu stated before he suddenly smiled. "My miko is the best."

"If he is the ten no Genbu then he is one of our companions, even though he is one of the Heike." Kurou admitted reluctantly.

"But his identity…" Kagetoki was frowning deeply at this. "His status is much too high." (10)

"Kagetoki, you would take him to Kamakura?" Benkei asked steadily.

"The problem is that I am not sure about what I should do." Kagetoki muttered.

"It is true that he is an important member of the Heike family and so ought to be taken to Kamakura like the other prisoner." Kurou said. "However, he is a hachiyo. Therefore, we cannot immediately hand him over." (11)

Kagetoki would describe all that happens as disastrous as that gave Yoritomo another reason to think badly of his brother.

Minamoto Kurou no Yoshitsune, do you truly understand nothing? Kagetoki thought bitterly as he watched the other celebrate. This actual victory was the warning of the storm that would soon break, as Kurou managed to break two important rules in one single night.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1)__ I see so many people say that Kurou is a real jerk by not letting Nozomi fight, but I then realised that Kurou did nothing wrong at all. It was the norm of the society. In fact, who does the PC think she is by suddenly demanding them to let her join?_

_(2)__ The idea I had is that because Kunihira is Kagetoki's best friend, he is able to notice the real Kagetoki when others would not be able to. Therefore, if Kunihira was there then perhaps he might have suspected about what Kagetoki was doing._

_(3)__ Well, I think in addition to Benkei being different from the story/history, Kagetoki was very different too. I think if one was there, the fact that Kagetoki was so nice might have prevented one from suspecting that he was traitor, as he just seemed so different. In fact, I have seen quite a lot of people commenting this out. Even though they know that Kagetoki, in history, is a traitor, there were still super surprised at that bit in the game, as they just did not expect it after seeing that Kagetoki._

_(4)__ I don't deny that Masaomi does care for his brother, but I feel that the way Masaomi acted actually ended up being really hurtful to Yuzuru, even though this was not his intention at all._

_(5)__The real Kagetoki was said to be in his 40s when he met Yoritomo, and he was actually about seven years older then Yoritomo. Kagetoki's eldest son (Kagesue) was actually only a few years younger then Yoshitsune._

_(6)__ By this, Kagetoki is saying that Yuzuru is in the role of the one who is not noticed, so not the one who could have the ability of making a choice of leaving the one he love._

_(7)__ I do not think that Saku fought. The thing is, I realised that even in battle, Nozomi has actually been protected. By people such as Yuzuru, by the other hachiyo as she is the miko._

_(8)__ Kagetoki actually said this in the game, he would say that the reason he is speaking in such an uncharacteristic way is all due to the moon._

_(9)__ I feel that this bit is quite ironic because Inoue-san also voiced Hisui. In Haruka 2, there is this whole conversation by Hisui about the goddess in the moon. The really ironic bit is that while we have Kagetoki who says that she must be lonely, Hisui's view had been totally different. Hisui actually asks Karin why she thinks the goddess would be lonely, when she has the immortality that she desires?_

_(10)__ Initially, Kagetoki did say that it would be good for Atusmori to join, but when Hakuryuu revealed who Atsumori is, we actually see him being rather worried. So I think he definitely know that Atsumori's status was too high for this to be okay._

_(11)__ This is referring to Shirogane (Shigehira)_


	24. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty****three**

_"My heart is a mirror of ice, reflecting a white darkness_

_I can hear a voice that I cannot remember_

_Who is it crying for?"_

_~ (玲瓏なる覚悟よ)_

Hiraizumi was still peaceful even though the situation in many other parts of the country- especially Kyo- was in a state of great chaos. However, the leader of this beautiful place knew that this was temporary. Oushu was too powerful to be ignored by a shrewd and ambitious man like Yoritomo.

Right now, Yoritomo was much too occupied with fighting the Heike, but something would definitely be done afterwards.

Therefore, the trainings were no longer practices, but rehearsals.

Yasuhira was naturally involved in many things, and he was also rather eager for news from Kyo. Even though this was more then logical, Rurihime still felt that this was not the only reasons.

After all, he actually asked questions about Kurou.

"Kurou-dono is in a delicate situation." Kunihira said bluntly. Upon his return from Kyo, both his father and brother- though the brother appeared to be much unconcerned- asked him whether he met their mutual acquaintance. "It is true that he is very successful…the problem is that he is too successful."

"And my father and mitai-sama are not happy about this?" Tamako retorted coldly- seeing that her husband seemed to specifically turn to her direction. At this, Kunihira was puzzled. Now that he thought hard about it, Tamako almost never addresses Hōjō Masako as aneue, which was what she used to do. Initially, he thought that this was a slight resentment against her family, but this could not be so, because she still referred to Tokimasa as 'chichiue'.

"One would be lying to say that they are." Yasuhira pointed out dryly.

"Kurou-dono is in great danger." Tamako said frankly and bluntly. "I know what is said of my father. People accuse him of being a man that relies on his daughter to get power. However, they are wrong. The truth is that chichiue would have been here anyway. Perhaps a bit later," she admitted. "But he would definitely still have ended up in that position." (1)

"It really depends on what type of brother Yoritomo is." Kunihira added. "When I was in Kyo, Kurou was praised very lavishly. What would happen depend on how Yoritomo would feel." (2)

"Yet you seem to already have an answer." Tamako said sharply. "Do you know what he is like then?"

Some distance away, Iwako bent down her head. This seemed yet another reminder of how Tamako and Kunihira could never be intruded by her. (3)

"I think he will feel threatened." Kunihira said grimly. "Even though we all know that Kurou would be loyal, Kamakura-dono would still be paranoid."

At this, he thought of his best friend again. Kagetoki was a most excellent example of Yoritomo's paranoia. His mother and sister were watched and observed in a way for Kagetoki's absolute loyalty, and it seemed that a very similar thing was happening with Kurou.

The ironic thing was that Kagetoki was now the one who was doing what another was doing to him.

Kunihira turned to Tamako's direction and found that she was observing him very carefully. Did she guess what has happened?

"Isn't the military commander of the Genji Kajiwara Kagetoki?" Yasuhira suddenly said. "He seems to be working with Kurou right now."

"We were friends, that is all. I don't even know what he is thinking or doing." Kunihira snapped.

"What type of person is he?" Yasuhira continued, undaunted by his brother's reaction. Perhaps it would be even more fair to say that his brother's words actually answered his question. "He seemed to be someone of great importance in the Genji…therefore, we will probably cross path with him."

"And how should we answer you, Yasuhira-dono?" Tamako asked evenly. "The man we know when we were all teenagers will obviously be very different from the grown man that he now is. However, Kamakura-dono trusts him and values him, is this not a good answer?"

"He certainly seemed to have backed the right gambit." Yasuhira said steadily. "Are the Kajiwara family not part of the Heishi?"

"And so?" Tamako said coldly. "The Heike only regard those who bear the name of Taira as family. The rest are their servants. Why should we be loyal to Kiyomori-dono when Kamakura-dono offers us what Kiyomori-dono would never give to anyone else but his family?" (4)

"It is certainly a brand new way of living." Hidehira said grimly. "The world is certainly changing. But Kunihira, tell me more of Kurou-dono." (5)

That way, the conversation changed into a much more different subject. Although the possibility of what might soon happen was still there.

"Kurou did say that he is very grateful at Mitachi, yet he does not believe that he would be returning to Hiraizumi any time soon." Kunihira continued.

"It would be better if he does not come here." Yasuhira said darkly. "When he does, he would probably bring the rest of Kamakura-dono's men with him."

"Yasuhira – " Kunihira began sharply, but this warning was ignored.

"I am sure that when he returns, it would be because he has nowhere else to go." Yasuhira continued.

"Yoritomo is merely seeking an excuse." Hidehira pointed out before he declared the following out in a very severe tone that prevented anyone from arguing with him. "Should Kurou-dono returns, I will offer him what I will give to my own son."

* * *

When the meeting of the family was over, Rurihime obediently followed Yasuhira, while Kunihira existed with Tamako more close to him then Iwako. It had been like this for quite sometime.

"You saw him, didn't you?" Tamako said the moment they stepped out of the room and managed to separate from the rest.

"At ninnaji- where the three of us once sat and looked at the sakura as we talked about trivial things that were once so important." Kunihira repeated a bit mechanically. He suddenly wondered what she would do if he deliberately withhold that information from her. What would she give in order to receive news of Kagetoki?"

"How is he?"

"What do you mean by how is he? How do I describe how he is?" Kunihira muttered. "But it seems that we were both wrong about my sokushitsu. What did you think that he would be like?"

"Not very happy…" Tamako decided.

"His first words were: 'What does Tamako says?'." Kunihira recollected. "He was most concerned about you. He was only satisfied when I made it clear that I would not divorce you even if I have an heir from Iwako."

"But did he…was he well?" Tamako continued.

"He is not sick or ill, that is certain." Kunihira said slowly. "But I think he really regrets his decision of doing all this. Tamako…Kagetoki is a really unhappy man."

She paused her footsteps in order to make him face her directly. He then noticed how grim her expression was.

"Which one of us is actually happy, Kunihira-dono?" Tamako said softly. "Neither you and I are happy. I don't know how your brother thinks but his little seishitsu is still not that happy, although she seemed to have gained a sense of content that we still do not know. However, you own sokushitsu, who is spying on us, is definitely unhappy."

At this, Kunihira automatically stepped toward the third party, but was stopped by Tamako, who raised a hand.

"It doesn't matter, I doubt that she heard anything at all." She said. "I am a nasty wife when I do not love my husband, but I really think that you are a much better person then I am. Therefore, I hope that you will be a loving husband despite not loving her." (6)

"You ask for very demanding things, Tamako." He clenched out, and she replied by pointing out: "I once asked for very simple things, yet I was denied of them."

"If you can change your attitude then I can perhaps be a bit more loving to Iwako." Kunihira suggested.

A bitter smile was the immediate answer. "That is truly impossible, Kunihira-dono, I am not nice enough to do so."

He was not surprised because if she really cared, then she would have done this quite some time ago. She was resentful and clung onto that resentment.

"Kunihira-dono, you said that you could never accept me with any other men apart from Kagetoki, and that Kagetoki is the only men you will give me up to." Tamako began. "Tell me then, what will you do if Kagetoki wishes for me to go back to him?"

"Is there a point in me answering this question, Tamako?" he muttered as he began to walk away. "Because nothing that I do will be able to stop you."

He then passed his sokushitsu and he had to admit that the expression in her eyes did not make him completely indifferent. Perhaps they were a reflection of how he looked at Tamako.

"I do not dislike you," he whispered as he passed her, "I just do not love you."

At this, tears began to fall from Iawako. However, they were unnoticed because Kunihira walked away while Tamako did not even bother to turn and watch her husband leave.

* * *

Contrary to what Tamako had claimed, Rurihime was actually not that unhappy. Her son was very healthy and seemed to be rather intelligent. The first was a fact, but the second was probably the indulgence of a fond mother.

Most of all, she knew that being cared by her husband was not impossible.

She was at the nursery again- probably more often then what was deemed as proper. However, her husband actually prevented her from having any problems due to his words, although it was certainly rather discouraging.(7)

"It is not as if she is desperately needed elsewhere." Yasuhira said with a shrug. "Nor is she stupid enough to spoil him."

Therefore, she was happy. Probably much happier then her brother-in-law's wives.

It was summer now, so Yoshihira was half a year old. By now, he recognised his name although the 'dono' that was said by some did confuse him now and then. He was not able to speak a proper word yet, so that was naturally Rurihime's goal.

"Chichi." She said again. "Chichi."

She was sure that Yasuhira would be a bit pleased at this, although she knew that it might just be a slight nod.

"Chichi." She repeated the word again before she held him gently due to thinking about how she would make sure that her child would address the right person when he could finally said this word.

After all, he has only seen his father a few times.

"Rurihime-dono…"

Rurihime's greeting died when she saw the state that Iwako was in. It was true that the other woman had not been very well for some times, but how haggard she looked right now was extremely alarming.

It was oddly reminiscent of the time when she herself had that break down after Yoshihira's birth.

"I am not ill. Merely tired." Iwako said softly.

"But is something wrong?" Rurihime began very gently.

Initially, it seemed to be good news. Iwako is here to talk about how Rurihime felt when she was pregnant since she suspected that she was in such a state. This was clearly very good news, yet the mother-to-be did not look that happy about it.

"…but no matter what, Kunihira-dono will not really care!" Iwako suddenly cried out even as she began to weep very violently. "After all, this is merely his child with me. His greatest desire is to have a child with that woman! If he has a child with that woman, then my own child…"

"But Iwako-dono, Tamako-dono is the seishitsu." Rurihime began very logically. "No matter what, it would be her child that inherit."

"I know this! That is not what I mean- I don't care if my child won't inherit. What I fear is…they would not receive their father's love at all, because he would definitely love her child more."

This was true but one could naturally not say this. However, Rurihime did not know what she should say in response. Luckily, she did not need to, although the result was much worse.

"That woman! She is so lucky that she have Kunihira-dono's love! I want nothing more then that…"

At this, Rurihime thought of Kagetoki- whom she simply knew as Tamako's first husband. Kunihira probably thought the same of Kagetoki.

What of herself? As she looked at those around her, Rurihime suddenly thought that she was very lucky. At the very least, she did not have to see what she desired so much being given to another. Even worse was the fact that the receiver of that love did not care at all.

Yet was it really the receiver's fault for not wanting something just because you want it and can not get it?

"But Iwako-dono, your child will be a part of you and Kunihira-dono no matter what." Rurihime said as she kissed the sleeping baby in her arm. "You might not believe me, but you will be able to take joy in this simple fact."

But what did the father feel? There were times when Rurihime talked about Yoshihira with her husband but she often wonder whether the reason he listened was because he could not be bothered to tell her to shut up. After all, he never replied. He would only do so if it had been something extremely important.

When Yasuhira came into her room that night, he was to discover that his wife was still holding onto their son.

"This is your father." Rurihime told the child with a smile. "Can you say, 'chichi' yet?"

Strangely, he actually felt a bit irritated.

"I really wish that Yasuhira-dono would spend more time with Yoshihira. I don't want him to call the wrong man 'chichi'." Rurihime said with the child was sent away with his nurse so they could go to sleep."

"…I always know who my father is." Yasuhira said in reply. "He does not seem to be able to speak yet."

"Not yet, but I am sure that he would soon." She said hopefully.

She was just going to reach to take off his coat when her hand automatically stopped due to the screaming coming from nearby.

"Any other men would have divorced her!" Iwako was screaming out. "At the very least, they would have done something instead of allowing her to behave in such a fashion!"

At this, Yasuhira gave a slight shake of head and muttered: "What a mess."

"Kunihira-dono loves Tamako-dono." Rurihime found herself saying. "Yet the pain that she suffers is now being inflicted by him."

"Aniue is foolish- you can't keep what does not wish to be kept." Yasuhira said grimly. But instead of merely stating it, it was almost as if he was discussing the matter. "Chichiue wished for Kurou to stay, but we all know that the only way is for him to choose to do so."

"…I think Yasuhira-dono seem to really like Kurou-dono." Rurihime said softly. "Surely you would help Kurou-dono if he needs it."

"Is it not better if he does not need my help?" Yasuhira pointed out before he changed the subject very abruptly. "I will be very busy tomorrow, so I intend to sleep now."

She was surprised at this, but she tried to calm herself down by pointing out that it was because it would be too troublesome for him to go back to his own room.

"Yasuhira-dono, would you ever have a sokushitsu?" she asked this because the argument in the next room now reached this stage.

"Not right now. There is no need." He then closed his eyes to indicate that he conversation was over. However, he then added the following: "I trust that you will not be as foolish as my brother's wives."

* * *

It was fairly early when Yasuhira woke up. Once more, he found that his wife was sleeping right beside him. However, the unusual and novel thing was that he actually had an arm around her.

Yasuhira was not the type of man who would make himself think about these type of things, but he did know that Rurihime was a bit special by being a bit different from everyone else. If she was gone, it would not be easy to replace her.

However, that was all.

It was still fairly early so he decided to treat this as a spare time by taking a walk with his dog. He was fond of Kugane and the dog was also the reminder of the one that he cared very much about, although he rarely admitted this, even to himself.

The reason he did not want Kurou to come was because he already realised that it would be as a refugee, and he did not wish for Kurou to be in that situation. However, he himself knew that to think like this was to think of the impossible.

If it would happen then it would happen. When the time come, he would do all that he could to protect the other regardless of the opponent. There were many strange rumours that related to Yoritomo and he would need to find them out.

Perhaps that was a bit like his wife's situation, Yasuhira suddenly thought, Hiraizumi was the sanctuary her parents carefully arranged for her, but they probably would not wish for her to be in such a situation in the first place.

Kugane began to bark and it was the type of greeting given to strangers. However, Yasuhira thought that this dog was too much like the one who found it: he was too friendly with everyone by not being careful enough.

It was the body of a man. Yasuhira was just starting to think how he should catch the criminal that dared to do something like this in his land when the body gave a twitch. This was a good sign as it meant that the questionings would be much easier.

"Who are you?" he began. "What happened to you?"

"…do not know…" Was the barely audible answer.

His clothes were in tatters, but they were still of a very fine quality. There was no weapons, nor signs of a place for them. This was a very rare thing for one who travelled. At this, Yasuhira thought that this man probably did not deserve that much sympathy. (8)

"What should I do with you?" he muttered.

The world was not peaceful enough for him to accept all strangers who arrive in Hiraizumi without knowing what their background was. However, he could not just leave this man here.

"I ask you again, who are you?" Yasuhira repeated.

The man opened his mouth but no words were produced. Instead, the noise of trying but failing to speak appeared.

"I might as well take you back." Yasuhira decided. "It is not as if you can do anything dangerous."

The other's gaze has been rather vacant, but upon this, his eyes changed.

There was clear gratitude.

This, Yasuhira decided, might be very useful.

* * *

The strange man would have caused a great reaction no matter what due to how he was found. However, he soon became rather infamous due to another reason.

Once he was cleaned and began to recover, the women could tell that he was a very handsome man. As if this was not enough, he also behaved in an extremely charming way. As a result, the maids would fight for who would be the one to bring the food and clothes to him.

"What is with all this noise, there are many other works to be done." Tamako snapped as she fond the passage blacked due to this.

At this, the maids could only apologise even as they mourned for the events that made their life difficult, two of their mistresses were both rather tense and therefore short tempered. For Tamako, it was because of the war which she knew Kagetoki was taking part in. For Iwako, it was partly due to her pregnancy.

"Tamako-dono, I am sure that they are not being lazy." Rurihime said softly and the maids all gave her a look of gratitude. "But is the…patient well?"

The report then allowed the subject to be changed.

"But he really needs his medicines." The girl who was lucky enough to hold onto the bow said. "Therefore…"

"That is not fair!" another immediately protested. "You had it yesterday."

"This is ridiculous. Give me that." Tamako was clearly in a very foul mood as she snatched the bowl and entered the room.

"Ta…Tamako-dono." At this, Rurihime automatically followed the other, and this then allowed her to have a proper look at the patent that her husband had found.

She immediately frowned as he looked rather familiar.

"Do you know who I am?" Rurihime asked. She did not say that he seemed familiar as she herself was not very sure.

A firm shook of the head was the answer.

"Who are you then?" Rurihime asked.

"I do not know." The man said in a tone that only the most cynical people would be able to doubt. "The only thing that I remember is being at the mountain. Then Yasuhira-sama came and took me."

"Do you know where you come from then?"

Once again, a negative answer was given.

"Have you seen him before?" Tamako finally spoke.

"Perhaps, but I am not sure."

At this moment, Yasuhira entered. He had heard that the being he found was recovering, so it was time for him to decide what he ought to do with it.

Tamako immediately left but Rurihime actually tugged Yasuhira's sleeves to ask for his permission of staying.

"Why?" Yasuhira asked in a hard tone.

"I am a bit curious." She said softly. Her husband could be frowning, but then he usually looked like that anyway. "That is all."

"Just don't be presumptuous." Yasuhira told her.

Similar questions were asked again and similar answers were given. The situation was clear: this man had no memory of what happened at all.

"No matter what, I am very grateful to you for having saved me." he finished as he tried to kneel down after he first sat up.

This actually clearly pained him and Rurihime found herself automatically stretching out a hand to the other.

"What are you doing?" her husband demanded, causing her to drop her hand and quickly fix her gaze onto the floor.

"And so you have nowhere to go as you remember nothing?" Yasuhira said before he then nodded. "Then you might as well be my servant."

"But Yasuhira-dono," Rurihime began. "You know nothing of this man."

"Yes, so it will depend on his actions from now on." Yasuhira answered calmly. "You will need a name."

The man's hair colour was rather unusual and that was enough.

"You can be…Shirogane." (9)

* * *

Shirogane was certainly a useful servant because he did all that he could do, learning the necessary skills. He was soon skilled at all his tasks and most importantly, he was extremely loyal to Yasuhira due to the other giving him a place to be.

However, Hiraizumi was not that friendly to a stranger that was very different from them. Very soon, some of the bushi began to be unsatisfied with how Yasuhira was making Shirogane into a personal servant. After all, Shirogane was constantly by Yasuhira's side.

One of the main problems was that many suggested that Yasuhria might be from Kyo. Without intending to, some of the inhabitants of Hiraizumi, especially bushi, have began to regard associations with Kyo as a rather bad thing.

Hidehira married a woman from Kyo and she ran away and took their heir with her, and this heir returned as someone who had little interest in weaponry and preferred to read books that they could not understand at all. This heir then married a girl from Kyo and her behaviour after she gave birth was certainly not good. Kunihira, who they were very fond of, married the girl that he met in Kyo and look at how disastrous that marriage was. (10)

Then there was Kyo's general status.

"If I did not do what I did…" Rurihime had muttered, but her husband was not bothered at all.

"It was stupid, what you did, but I doubt that your actions really mattered. If not that, then it would be something else." He said simply.

"But Yasuhira-dono, I think it is very possible that Shirogane is from Kyo. When I looked at him…I would think of the time that I was in the city."

"Where he is from does not matter." Yasuhira pointed out. "It is the fact of what he would do here."

Rurihime had her fan opened and she was almost staring at it. The butterflies were a symbol of the Heike family and this fan had belonged to Taira no Koremori. She began to think of that day- when she first saw him dance. At that time, she had merely admired one without thinking that what she saw was merely one side of an object.

At that time…despite what she later told her mother, she had secretly wonder what it would be like to have Koremori as a husband. Later on, she might actually have ended up being married into the Heike family.

How different her life would be then.

"Yasuhira-sama, I have something very important to report to you." Shirogane said as he entered. For a brief moment, his eyes were fixed on the fan, but he then quickly turned away. "I wish to seek permission to fight in a duel." (11)

Yasuhira actually stared at his servant for a long time before he spoke, asking a very logical question.

"…can you fight?"

"I do not know how." Shirogane admitted. "I have not learnt it yet."

"Then why are you fighting in a duel?" his master asked in a tone of disbelief and Rurihime felt that her husband probably added: "Idiot" inside his head. The only reason he didn't say it out aloud was probably because he was too surprised.

The reason was explained and Rurihime found herself unable to remain silent.

"But this is really dangerous! Surely it is folly to go." She pointed out.

"Yet he agreed- to not go now would be even worse." Yasuhira said carelessly before he raised a hand to indicate dismissal. "Very well, you can do so. However, make it a draw. If you win, then this matter would be even worse."

"Yasuhira-dono! He can't even fight!" Rurihime protested, finding her husband's action much too cruel.

"I want to see what skills he has- whether he really could not fight." Yasuhira explained before he frowned- why was he actually doing such a thing? "He might merely be saying so."

"But what happens if he is telling the truth?"

"So what? No one," he said very grimly, "Would cry if he dies." (12)

A tear fell, followed by a second.

Without any warning, she felt her chin being grabbed by her husband very roughly and the gaze that met hers was rather chilling. When he spoke, his voice was actually a bit angry. (13)

"You better have a good reason to explain why you are crying for another man."

"…I am crying for myself because no one would cry for me if I die now." Rurihime replied steadily even as the tears continued. "You would certainly not."

He was actually at a loss of words and if her situation was not like this, then Rurihime would have laughed. However, his words about Shirogane made her really sad. Even though that strange meeting gave her hope, she still felt rather insecure now and then.

"Don't waste your time thinking about such a thing." He finally said as he turned away. "Go and get some rest."

He did not deny her words, yet he did not confirm it either. Nor did he change his mind about Shirogane.

Due to the incident with her husband, Rurihime felt that it would be too foolish for her to go and see the duel. Besides, she did not really care for Shirogane that much. In fact, she was actually too occupied with what Yasuhira was thinking.

However, her husband seemed to think what happened was merely a strange fit of irrationality that was actually cured by a good rest.

"Shirogane is certainly interesting." He said upon returning from the duel, which she already know the result of due to the maids gossiping. "It seems that he is very skilled with weaponry. He would be useful to me."

"But Yasuhira-dono, if he is very skilled then he would probably not be an ordinary man." She pointed out.

"Yes, but he is loyal to me." Yasuhira pointed out. "Although he can be quite troublesome as well."

When he recalled the conversation much later on, he would wonder why he did not spoke of it with her at the time when he ought to.

* * *

**_Notes_**_:_

_(1)__ This is something that I feel quite strongly about. Even though at one hand, it does seem so, I felt that Tokimasa was not the type of man who would need to rely on his daughter. The NHK showed that he is actually a very capable man- and I was most impressed by the time that he told Masako how there are times you have to be willing to endure insults and be submissive- as that is something that many others were not able to. Therefore, I feel that this man would have gained some sort of a position anyway. In addition, this is even more so in my fic. After all, he had been the one who got Dakiniten (to be honest, I feel that this is what might have happened in the game, him being the one to get the goddess)_

_(2)__ Even though I like Yoritomo and feel that some of his paranoia is justified, I still feel that part of Kurou's tragedy is that he have such a brother. One who would be paranoid like this._

_(3)__ In that time, it seems that the seishitsu has quite some influence and would definitely be able to attend such a meeting (Masako, Taira no Tokiko). Therefore, I think both Tamako and Rurihime would definitely be able to be there. However, I am not very sure whether the sokushitsu would have been allowed. Therefore, I am actually not very sure whether Iwako would be able to be there._

_(4)__ Once again, this brings back to this theme. In this story, both Tamako and Masako seemed to have been influenced by their father's attitude in regard to this matter. I think if Tamako was not in this situation…if Kagetoki had not been threatened and if he had actually chosen to join Yoritomo, I think Tamako would not mind at all. She would probably even see it as a good thing. In addition, her father and sister are both already there._

_(5)__ In the game, Hidehira actually uses another title, but I am pretty sure that he has addressed Kurou this way as well._

_(6)__ Tamako is basically saying that she was not a bad wife when Kagetoki was her husband, as she had loved that husband._

_(7)__ It seemed that they were like most other society too, upper class woman were simply not expected to play that large a part in their child's life, especially infancy._

_(8)__ There is this whole thing about Shirogane's weapon, and to be honest, it is quite strange. After all, I really don't think that Yoritomo and Masako would have let him keep that strange weapon. In addition, Yasuhria seemed to have found him without anything. In addition, surely if Yasuhira found Shirogane with that weapon, he might work out who Shirogane is? At the very least, he would know that this person could probably fight. However, in the drama CD, no one knows whether Shirogane could fight or not. On the other hand, it is quite strange that Shirogane would end up with having this weapon because why would Yasuhira bother to give him this fancy weapon when a normal sword would do? Although it is possibly that this weapon was not fancy at all_

_(9)__ To be honest I am not perfectly satisfied with mentioning Shirogane has unusual hair, because I tend to try and avoid mentioning this. After all, I still feel that to mention someone (even if they are in a fantastical world) having pink hair really weird. The only hair colour that I really mention is blond, because it is suppose to be unusual (as the oni-no-ichizuku are different due to having blond hair). I just find it really weird to say, for example, someone has green hair and make that seem quite normal. I think the most extreme thing I have done is in Haruka 4, when I might have said that Shani have silverish hair. However, it is quite strange as I have no problem saying that Nasatya and Asvin have bright red hair, even though that is really not possible either._

_(10)__ Ironically, Tamako is from Izu, and the people of Izu are probably quite similar to them. She herself was regarded as a bit barbaric in Kyo_

_(11)__ As the fan belonged to Koremori, and it was actually__a fan that he was quite fond of, Shirogane would have, as Shigehira, seen the fan. He actually, for a brief moment, feels that he recognise it._

_(12)__ Yasuhira actually said this in the game. One of his servants commented that the duel has started and then asked Yasuhria whether he would really let this go ahead. Upon this, Yasuhira would say that if Shirogane gets killed, then it merely proofs that he is not capable, and no one would actually be upset if he dies._

_(13)__ This is probably because Yasuhira is actually showing a little bit of emotion- he actually cares for Rurihime. In addition, he is also jealous due to Shirogane. After all, Shirogane and his tendency to gain a fan club…I think it is fairly reasonable that Yasuhira might be a bit worried that Rurihi_me might be in that situation to.


	25. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty****four**

_"That full moon is a pearl that I can no longer reach_

_I can only watch you from afar_

_Feeling the flow and ebb of the waves of my feeling"_

_~ (__満月は夜空の真珠__)_

The battle between the Heike and the Genji would soon end and the result was already obvious. Kiyomori had briefly changed the tide due to being an onryuu, as well as being the bearer of the one who held the gekirin of kokuryuu- which was what caused kokuryuu to disappear.

"Give him back to me! Give him back to me!" Saku was screaming and if it wasn't for Nozomi, she would have run to Kiyomori with the intention of snatching it back.

Kiyomori merely laughed at this. After all, who was Saku to him?

"So this is the Heike's secret." Hinoe said thoughtfully, while Atsumori looked down in guilt.

"…it is time for the dead to return to the kingdom of the departed." The speaker was Kagetoki, but his voice was in a tone that they had never heard before. All of a sudden, the others, even Saku, wonder whether they actually truly knew him.

"…aniue…" Saku whispered, temporarily distracted.

"How often have I and the Hōjō family been called a traitor." Kagetoki continued in that same voice, feeling a deep anger that seemed to be completely alien to him. "Yet I doubt that this would have been returned had we begged before this betrayal. For the first time…brief as it will be, I do not feel guilty at where I am."

This being destroyed his precious sister's happiness.

"The Heike's era is over." Kagetoki said firmly.

Kiyomori was defeated and the onryuu was purififed. However, the infamous Shigemori was still alive. Likewise, Tomomori was still alive. However, they decided that a slight rest would be allowed before they plan for the final battle, which would take place at the sea.

"I can't believe how different Kagetoki-san was." Nozomi was whispering to Yuzuru. "I was actually a bit scared."

"That is true." Yuzuru agreed, but he suddenly recalled how he had once seen a very different Kagetoki. However, that was different from this time too.

The moment that Kiyomori was defeated, Saku had grabbed onto the gekirin. Unfortunately, Kiyomori had used up all of the powers and even Hakuryuu said that he was uncertain about what would happen, only that a slight essence was there. He could either be freed or nourished. Yet the second bit might not be an option. The first would definitely restore the being, but it would be a completely new one.

At this, Saku shut herself in a room and declared that she wished to think.

"Saku, can I enter? I wish to talk to you." Kagetoki said. However, he actually did not wait for permission. "I know this is bad, but it is really important."

Much to Saku's surprise, her brother actually casted a barrier to prevent anyone from over hearing their conversation.

"What I say is very important and it must be a secret, not even Nozomi-chan can know." Upon this, he took out a thing that looked very similar to the gekirin. "This is a crystal that I changed with my illusions. I want you to hide the real gekirin and then pretend that this is the real thing and then break it."

"Aniue, I do not really understand…" she began, but he did not even let her finish speaking.

"That thing had been very powerful and I wouldn't be surprised if others want it do, especially those in power." Kagetoki said. "Therefore, if you don't do this then someone might take it from you. I don't know if this plan will work, but it is the only thing that I can think of right now."

"I understand. But aniue, not even Nozomi- "

Once again, she was interrupted and this was a clear indication.

"No one, Saku, no one. Not Nozomi-chan or hakuryuu, not even hahaue." He said very firmly. "Saku…make sure that you create a scene. Make sure that people know that you broke it."

This was because it was like one of the three sacred artefacts- it ought to be handed back to Yoritomo. Right now, they managed to find the sword and the broken mirror from Kiyomori.

Kagetoki thought that Kurou would definitely know what he ought to do with the two holy artefacts. At the very least, Benkei would definitely know. That was why he allowed himself to devote all of his attention to this problem. (1)

"Saku, despite everything that happened and everything that would happen, I truly wish for you to be happy…especially in regard to this matter."

He would like to rest a bit longer but there was still much that he had to do. Some to do with others, as well as preparations for what that should not be done.

* * *

The final battle would take place at the sea and this was a great disadvantage for the Genji. Even though Hinoe's presence did help as he was very knowledgeable in what he was involved in, this was all. Kumano remained neutral so Hinoe was there without any additional resources.

After all, he was only there as Hinoe, not as Fujiwara no Tanzo.

"At our current situation…" Kagetoki began grimly. "Our chances of winning are less then half. The Heike still have a substantial resource and unlike us, they are much used to naval warfare."

"There is also the tide- the day would start with the Heike in advantage." Hinoe supplied.

Kagetoki allowed the discussion to continue on a bit longer as he was not even willing to say the plan that should work quite well. This seemed to be another reminder of how he failed to be a proper bushi.

When he began to speak, he could hear the words from a decade ago. The words that had merely been an ordinary debate between two young boys would become real- with death being the consequences.

"It is not proper at all." Kunihira had said upon hearing his plan. "Kagetoki, you never shoot the rowers."

"But what if I am really outnumbered? Surely the prudent thing will be going along with my plan." Not the exact situation that they were in, but they were severally disadvantaged due to the lack of knowledge and skill to fight in such a battle.

"But if you win, everyone will say that you should not win." Yes, people would definitely say that. In fact, he could already hear those words.

"Yes, but it will not change the fact that I won and that my people are alive." Was everyone not the same? What you gain was often via another person's lose. What Kiyomori did to Saku was really the very same.

What had Kunihira said when they ended their conversation? When he said that he would never be in such a position- the position that he was in right now.

"I think I am glad of that. I think you'll be a really ruthless commander. Doing all that you can to win."

That was a very god description of what he has become- he has killed in order to continue living.

The sigh should have been hidden, but he was unable to do so. This then caused the others to focus on him again.

"It is true that this might work." Hinoe admitted with a frown. "But it will certainly earn many condemnations."

"As you said yourself, upon the attack in Fukuhara, the Genji winning is the most important thing." Kagetoki defended before he admitted very sincerely: "If anyone could come up with a better plan then I would be very happy to use it."

"It will work…" Kurou admitted, but he then yelled out: "However, this is breaching too much protocol!" (2)

"Yet this seems to be the best plan." Benkei admitted, and Kagetoki almost sighed a second time. He actually betted his hope on Benkei- that the strategist could come up with a better idea then this.

"I don't really care about what would be said since I am not involved. However, this would affect the Genji greatly." Hinoe said simply.

"Let it be known that this is my plan." Kagetoki said without any hesitation. "That should be enough."

Condemnation would appear and it would easily be attached onto his name. After all, he has already done much to earn it.

"I have to make my way back to Kamakura as Yoritomo-sama and Masako-sama would both be present at the battle, and I will be accompanying them. We should arrive right on time for the battle." Kagetoki announced when the meeting was finally finished.

"Aniue is going to be there, is that wise?" Kurou asked in concern.

"Yoritomo-sama decided that he would be there." Kagetoki said. "But since I am going back to Kamakura, I will take the two sacred artefacts back."

"I have already sent it back to Goshikawa-houou." Kurou stated. "I thought that it ought to be returned as soon as it could."

For a brief moment, Kagetoki almost wonder whether it was his paranoia that was causing him to mishear things. Surely this would not be happening…

"As soon as you could…as soon as the battle finished?" maybe if he hurried, then he would be able to catch up with the messenger. This would be an interference that he would be pardoned for, because getting the two artefacts back was most important. In addition, both Yoritomo and Masako would definitely be in a better mood if the artefacts were not lost.

However, the distance seemed to be impossible.

"Kagetoki, what is wrong with you?" Kurou began. "Do you think that I shouldn't have sent it back immediately?"

The answer in Kagetoki's head was 'You shouldn't have sent it at all!'. One would either take it themselves, or gave it to their master. What Kurou did was much too dangerous.

"No, I don't think it would matter that much." This was not a lie, but it was not really the answer to the question that they were thinking of. The reason that he said this was because he felt that this would not have a major impact on his master's soon to be decision. After all, this would merely be one of the thing, not the only thing.

"I am leaving as soon as the sun rises, so I am going to rest now." he ought to despise himself for being able to sound so cheerful despite that this might be the very last time such a thing would happen.

But maybe things would not be that bad…

Throughout the meeting, Yuzuru had been very quiet. Only speaking now and then. it was partly because he knew that he had little right to interfere in all this as he was just a student in senior high school. In addition, his main concern was Nozomi. (3)

However, he was observing everything very carefully.

Upon hearing the plan from Kagetoki, he was very surprised. It was because that this very practical plan (to one who came from the twenty first century) was meant to have come from Kurou, not Kagetoki. In fact, Kagetoki was meant to have protested about how unconventional it was.

But then, history was clearly different. There was no guarantee that what happened there would happen here either.

"Yuzuru." It was Hakuryuu and unlike most of the time, the god actually looked very regal. This was one of the times when one felt that they had little choice but to obey.

"I am very concerned with Kagetoki." Hakuryuu stated. "Even though he is smiling, this is merely a mask to hide his tears." (4)

"Kagetoki-san…" Yuzuru was not as certain as Hakuryuu but there many times when elder man made him feel that he was not what he appeared as.

It was not hypocritical in the sense of being deliberate, but Yuzuru felt that Kagetoki did have a rather different side that was usually hidden. However, the problem was that what this secret side was like was not very clear

"But it will be alright if Yuzuru-kun helps him because you two are the two co-existing sides of Byako." Hakuryuu added.

It was true that Yuzuru's main concern was Nozomi, but he would like to help Kagetoki too. Therefore, he found himself walking to the stables as Kagetoki would probably be there.

"Yuzuru-kun, you ought to be resting." Kagetoki immediately said before he suddenly laughed. "I am sorry, Yuzuru-kun, I seemed to have the habit of telling Saku to do so for much too long."

"Kagetoki-san is a bit like an elder brother to both senpai and I. You are much elder then us and you do look after us now and then." Yuzuru said thoughtfully. "But shouldn't you be resting as well?"

"I will, but I have to get my horse ready. After all, a horse is very important to a bushi." He said simply.

He was actually feeling a bit emotional at what Yuzuru said about him being like an elder brother. However, he then quickly reproved himself for this- being related to him was actually quite a bad thing. Therefore, he quickly tried to prevent this topic from growing by creating a new topic.

"How a bushi's horse looks like would affect a bushi." He began. "However, I used to be quite lazy by failing to after the horses in my house. Once, I had to see my master and none of the horses were presentable and I could not find any of the brushes. Therefore, I grabbed the first comb that I saw. Unfortunately, this turned out to be my wife's and it actually caused a great misunderstanding due to me putting it back without telling her."

Tamako was to find hair of an unusual shade on her comb that did not match with any one in the house. She loved her husband and trusted him but still worried like anyone in love would.

"Yes, I used it to brush someone else's hair." Unfortunately, his choice of words was affected by her question. "You are not angry, are you?"

"Why were you brushing their hair for them?" she continued, clearly demanding an answer.

"Because it was in a mess and so I had to do it." He answered, still not realising why she was creating such a bit fuss about it.

"It was someone quite young, right?" she was almost pleading. "Or someone quite old."

The horse he rode was in neither category, so the negative was given.

"I don't like it." She admitted when he asked her about her strange behaviour. "If it is not a child or an elderly person, then it must be a woman. I know that nothing would happen but still…I don't like the thought of you brushing someone else's hair."

He stared at her for a very long before he suddenly laughed. Without saying anything else, he took her by the hand and led her to that very horse.

"But that was quite sometime ago." Kagetoki said with a smile. "Afterwards, I made sure that I would at least have one horse ready."

"Was it this horse?" Yuzuru asked- finding that he could not change this cheerful mood yet. Perhaps he did not wish to.

"No, not Surusumi. It is impossible for it to be Surusumi- he was given to me by Yoritomo-sama and I divorced Tamako when I began to work for Yoritomo-sama."

"Why?" Yuzuru asked again, and the answer did not change. However, Yuzuru actually pressed on. "Is working for Yoritomo-san so important that you would give up Tamako-san?"

Once again, Kagetoki could hear the accusations of that he was a dog who obeyed Yoritomo's every demand. Despite everything, he suddenly felt very tired. It was such a heavy burden.

Did he tell the young man in the hope that the other would not regard him as that bad and weak a person? Was that why he only told him a part of it? Was it only fear and an inability of trust that prevented him from revealing everything?

But why say anything then?

"When people get old, they seem to have a tendency of talking to themselves out aloud." He began. "Yuzuru-kun, you did not hear any of this, alright?"

At the assurance of secrecy, Kagetoki continued: "The truth is that I was actually spared by Yoritomo-sama and Masako-sama in that battle. They captured me and if it was not for them, then Tokimasa-dono would definitely have killed me, or they would. What I had was the choice of being a servant or dying, and I wished to live."

"Is that why you are working for Yoritomo-san?" Yuzuru was very surprised at this because not only was it a complete shock, it was very different from history.

"Partly." Kagetoki said. "But Yoritomo-sama is a great man. He could be a very great leader and ruler."

The only problem was that Yoritomo thought that others could be as rational as him. If Yoritomo was in Kagetoki's situation, then he would not be bothered at all.

"Before, who you are would determine your future. If you belong to the Hesihi then you must submit to Kiyomori-dono's decision. Likewise, being elsewhere in another family is pretty much the same. However, Yoritomo-sama is different. He would let one's abilities and skills judge ones position. I really think that he could be a good ruler." What Kagetoki said was the truth that he realised for quite sometimes, yet he still appeared very grim. "But this can be bad too…Yuzuru-kun, I am talking to myself again as I ought to never think of such a thing in the first place, let along tell it to another. However, a good leader is often someone who thinks of the people instead of just one person." (5)

This was actually a clear warning: therefore, he would destroy a useful tool once it has become too dangerous despite all that it has done for him. Therefore, he would ignore a person's individual feeling, as what they cause might be much more important.

After all, he was the leader who chose to be in that position.

"The moon is full again." Kagetoki suddenly said. "Perhaps I ought to stay indoors on such a night as it could be very dangerous. However…I have been thinking too much due to everything."

"But hopefully, the whole war would be over." Yuzuru said optimistically.

"Hopefully…I have been thinking about what happened and I realised that it is always the same. It is all due to human nature being selfish. Kiyomori-dono used the gekirin and he did not care at the pain it caused Saku since what would happen to his family was much more important. I am exactly the same- except that with me, Saku is much more important to me so I won't care about what would happen to the Heike. Kurou and you are all the same as well."

There was a scale and as you do something, you will weigh it and the heavier side is what is more important to you, so you are willing to sacrifice what was on the other side.

Everyone does this everyday, the only exception was that their actions differed.

At this, Kagetoki looked down at his hands again and thought of the various things that he did. He was willing to even kill in order to preserve what was important to him. There were times when the scales were not as one sided, but the result would always be the same. His family would always be there and they would always be more important.

However, the scale was balanced rather evenly this time as the side that competed was Kurou and the rest. Companions…if not friends.

Yet the result would always be the same.

"Yuzuru-kun, have you worked out what is the most important thing to you?" he suddenly asked, although he indicated that the other did not have to answer. "For me, it is my family. My mother and my sister."

They were the ones who would always outbalance everything.

"But Kagetoki-san, what about Tamako-san?"

"Tamako is in a different situation." He said simply.

She was safe as she was no longer on the scale. She would not need to be protected by him. A good thing as he was not able to do so.

* * *

Yoritomo's decision did not really surprise Kagetoki and he has already decided that Yoritomo was his master. Therefore, he would do this despicable act.

He was sure that Yoritomo would be able to be a good ruler, but it was just like what he said to Yuzuru. A good ruler was not good to everyone. The people in this country would be able to have a pleasant life, but many others would first die in order for this to come true.

Some of those deaths would be ordered by Yoritomo.

Was Yoritomo disposing Kurou the moment he no longer needed the other? Or has the battle merely delayed things? Or would it have been better if Kuruo never appeared to help his brother?

They would not set off until the next morning, so Kagetoki was allowed to spend this last night in his own home.

Instead of resting in his room, he found himself in the empty room once again. The room seemed to have remained completely empty even though this was very strange. It was not even the spare room as this room was not used at all.

He was sitting at the porch outside the room, which the two of them often sat. As he raised his head to look at the moon, he saw that it still remained full.

What was she doing in Hiraizumi? If Yoritomo was completely right, and Kagetoki had little doubt about this, then Hiraizumi's current peace would soon be disrupted.

However, she should be safe…at the very least, she would be safer there instead of here.

"Kagetoki, you should be resting." His mother said rather reproachfully. She did not sit down with him, but she did stand at a place where she was able to see his face.

"The war between the Genji and the Heike will be over soon." She said softly. "But would war really be over?"

"There will still be much work to do, but…" At this, he decided to not lie. "It will be over, but it will not immediately be over."

"And I see that the same can be said of you and Saku." The mother said thoughtfully. "Saku made her decision long ago, but you are not like your sister."

"So she often says." Kagetoki said lightly, but his mother did not allow him to change the subject.

"What is it that you want, Kagetoki? What is it that you truly want? I think you never once do what you trust wanted as something would always prevent you. Lately, I think I am starting to realise what it actually is."

"What are you talking about, hahaue?" despite the attempt of laughing, the mother would tell that not only was her son pretending, he was actually nervous.

"I would like you to be able to do what you wish." She declared out firmly. "I would like you to make a choice without thinking about who it would affect."

She suspected that he made his important choices based on what would happen to others, not himself.

"I wish that you can be happy by doing what you wish." She whispered.

She recalled how the boy had practiced with the wooden sword in their garden with such a look of reluctance. However, he would quickly smile if he thought or noticed that someone was watching. Hit was true that he could have tried much harder, but it was something that he only did because he had to.

Then when they made him come back from his study of Onmyōdō…she only discovered how reluctant he had been about this when she accidentally overheard a conversation between her son and daughter-in-law.

As for the divorce, she suspected that there were other reasons behind his decision.

"…at the very least, I wish for you to only remarry when you wish to." Perhaps her late husband would be very angry given that Kagetoki was their only son, but she was not sorry about this decision.

However, she was not sure if he would do so. Because he knew that he was the one responsible for continuing the family, he might still do so and smile as he says that he does not mind.

When did his smile become like that? When did his smile became a lie, a pretence?

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1)__ Well, in regard to what happened to Kurou in his route, I really blame Benkei the most. I can understand why some others would not do anything, but I cannot understand why Benkei would not realise how dangerous it would be from Kurou. In addition, this is his job so I feel that Kagetoki is justified by saying that he felt Benkei would know._

_(2)__ This is quite strange but I feel that in this aspect, the role of Kurou and Kagetoki are actually reversed in the game. It seems that Kurou is very honourable (in Kagetoki's route he was really upset when Kagetoki suggested a retreat) and he seems extremely honourable. Yet it is ironic as the real Yoshitsune is said to be really capable due to his break of rules, and the real Kagetoki had been unhappy about it. However, in the game, it seems that it is Kagetoki who would be willing to do these things._

_(3)__ Initially, I was actually quite surprised at why Yuzuru spoke so little at certain times, when he would actually know the history quite well. But however, it makes sense. In addition to the fact that he can be quite selfish by being too devoted to Nozomi, he is not presumptuous. He knows that he is only a high school student. Therefore, he probably feels that he does not have the right to interfere so openly. In addition, now that I think about it, I really feel that it is sensei and Benkei's fault for what happened to Kurou in his route. When he accepted the position and ended up being killed by Yoritmo._

**_The PC and Saku:_**_ I feel that they both do not realise what the current situation. In addition, the PC has no knowledge about history, as she did not even know who Kurou was._

**_Masaomi_**_: he was not there_

**_Kurou_**_: obviously he did not realise it, as he did not realise that he was doing anything wrong at all_

**_Hinoe_**_: I think he actually did not realise what type of man Yoritomo is, that this action would have angered Yoritomo. Because in the attack against Fukuhara, he actually thought that it was quite strange how Kagetoki was saying that they ought to ask for Yoritomo's approval first. I feel that despite Hinoe being quite worldly and all that, he still have much to learn. I feel he is still too young and it is the idea that he has a lot of theory, but not enough practice. In his own route, what happened after that battle seemed to be a wake up call for him._

**_Yuzuru_**_: Yuzuru probably knows, but I think he felt that history is quite different. After all, look at Benkei. Then there is Kagetoki. The person who is said to be a traitor for Yoritomo by snitching on Kurou due to disliking Kurou actually is really nice to them. He even seems to like Kurou. Therefore, Yuzuru would not be wrong to think that Kagetoki would not do so. In addition, Yuzuru might have thought that if Benkei and the others are fine with it, then it probably really is okay._

**_Atsumori_**_: I don't think Atsumori actually knows what is going on, and even if he did, he probably feels that his position prevents him from doing anything._

**_Kagetoki: _**_obviously, Kagetoki knows what happened and when we actually see him looking quite worried upon finding out that Kurou did this. It is true that he might have been able to change this if he actually talked to Kurou about it. However, I can understand why he did not do anything. After all, Kagetoki's first priority is making sure that Yoritomo will not be angry with him, so that he would not endanger his family. It does make sense as well. After all, Kagetoki out of all people knows about how paranoid Yoritomo is. Therefore, he probably feels (quite rightly) that if he warns Kurou about what is happening, then he and his family might be in danger. Yoritomo might think that Kagetoki is thinking about betraying him._

**_Sensei: _**_I really blame sensei as well, because all sensei have to say is: "Kurou, you should not do this" and Kurou would not have done this. Besides, it seems that he had the Gekirin and actually saw what happened. _

**_Benkei: _**_I feel that Benkei is the other culprit because he should have realised this._

_(4) __In that OVA, Hakuryuu actually said a very similar thing in regard to Kagetoki. He actually said something about how Kagetoki has a bright smile, but he is actually crying inside. However, he then says that Yuzuru would be able to help Kagetoki. I have to say…and this might be the influence of reverse gender fan fictions. If Yuzuru was a girl then I would definitely pair her up with Kagetoki._

_(5)__ I really feel that this is so. I really think that if Yoritomo did not threaten Kagetoki like that, Kagetoki would have thought that Yoritomo is a very great man._


	26. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty****five**

_"The darkness in my heart seems like it is about to be exposed_

_I move forward but my footsteps are shaking_

_Where is it that I should be going?"_

_~ (__煌めきの月__)_

The final battle would soon begin and the arrival of Yoritomo Masako actually raised morale. However, Kagetoki found himself wondering whether victory would really be good. It seemed that this day would be both an end and a beginning.

Maybe it would be better if he died today, than there would be no more problems. He would not have to hear any new condemnation and he would not have to fight in another war or be in conflict with people that he once cared and fought with.

As he watched Kurou making sure that the last preparations were done, Kagetoki actually felt a deep pity for the younger man. The other's mistakes were only mistakes because of his circumstances. Another person would have been very glad of the attack at Fukuhara, while it was only this era of backstabbing that resulted in his decision of returning something as being extremely suspicious.

When Yoritomo heard about this, his instant reaction was not even anger, but a mere surprise at the impossible being done. (1)

"Kurou is truly too naïve." Yoritomo finally said and there was real emotion in his voice. "If he does not die recently, something else would seal his fate."

It might be better if Kurou died at the battle as well, Kagetoki suddenly thought. He was not being malicious because if that happened, Kurou would not need to see his brother abandoning him and be branded as a traitor. If he died here, he could be the heroic general who did all that he could do for his brother, including dying for him.

Just as it might be better if he himself died at that battle all these years ago.

"Kagetoki-san, welcome back!" Nozomi said cheerfully, while Yuzuru greeted him as well.

"Will Kagetoki-san be fighting with us?" Yuzuru asked.

"…up to a certain point." Once again, his words had double meanings.

"Kagetoki-san, do you know why Yoritomo-san…" Nozomi began, but she was interrupted by the correction very hastily.

"I know that you and Yuzuru are both not used to doing this but it is really important for you two to so when there are others around." Kagetoki said very gravely. "To not do so could be labelled as a challenge and this would be bad for Kurou as well."

If the reasons built against Kurou was not so strong then this might have been added as another one.

"But Kurou-san is really worried at why Yoritomo-san, I mean Kamakura-dono, is here." Nozomi quickly said. "He thinks that it might be an indication of him not being seen as capable."

"I do not really know why." He said and this was partly true as he felt that Yoritomo's action was not really necessary and it was even a bit risky. The only possibility that he could think of was that Yoritomo actually wished to see his brother one last time.

"Kagetoki-san, do you know what would be happening after tomorrow?" Yuzuru asked. After all, they kept on talking about tomorrow being the end, but no one mentioned what might be happening afterward.

"I am not fully sure but it would be an end to the war between the Genji and the Heike. At least it would be an end." He said. "But the most important thing is for us to focus on tomorrow."

A tomorrow that he wished would not come.

Kurou then arrived and after a slight conversation, Kagetoki made his escape. He did not feel that he was a completely good liar as to be completely unaffected.

"Kagetoki-san!"

As he was in deep thought, Yuzuru actually startled him more then a little.

"I am sorry, but it is just that you seem…rather strange." Yuzuru said, and Kagetoki's expression made him even more convinced as they seemed to fit Hakuryuu's words really well.

"I dislike fighting." Kagetoki admitted honestly before he laughed. "It is really embarrassing but this is the truth."

"But why did you become a bushi then?" Yuzuru asked.

"I was born to be one. As a result, Tamako used to say that I must have been born into the wrong family, that I should have been an aristocrat." Kagetoki said without any hesitation before he smiled rather sadly. "I did not wish to make my father ashamed of his only son but…"

Perhaps his father would be turning in his grave now.

"…I am sorry." Yuzuru apologised, but this was quickly waved aside.

"Perhaps that is why I am here." Kagetoki said thoughtfully. "If there is a world where one could do what they want instead of being restricted by their birth, then it would be Yoritomo-sama that creates it. After all, it was not the world of which he was born into."

Or was that merely an excuse that he thought of?

"But of course, it is not just due to that. As I said, everyone is the same. It is to fight for what we regard as important."

* * *

Kagetoki long learn that you could deny the passing of time as much as you want, but it could never be stopped. As a young man that studied in the Abe family, he actually once researched for whether such a thing was possible.

However, it was a mere dream.

The battle begun and his plan worked very well. He knew that Kuoru was not very happy about this method but the other had to admit that this was necessary. The truth was that Masaomi had thought about this as well, but the Heike had not been willing to believe in it, as no one would do such a thing.

Therefore, it was impossible to make them do so as well. If Kiyomori was there, then it would be different. Even though the others did respected and trusted him, the blind love was absent.

Soon, Nozomi and the others were to face Tomomori- one of the few remaining members of the family that was still alive.

Unlike the others on the ship who spat upon them for this strategy even as they fought, Tomomori merely laughed.

"It is certainly an interesting diversion as I waited for you, Genji-no-miko." Tomomori said as he pulled out his two swords. "Let our blades crosses one last time- that will be the only welcome that I want as I enter the capital under the sea." (2)

"Regardless of what you do, the fate of the Heike will not change." Kagetoki began. Even though he knew that their opponent would only choose to die, he still spoke. (3)

He was not sure why himself.

"The fate of the Heike? That had been decided too long ago." Tomomori said without any concern other then a surprise at being thought to acted for this reason. "I merely wish to leave the world the way that I wish- to join the banquet of Ashura." (4)

He then turned to Nozomi again. "Come, let us enjoy this feast."

Kagetoki truly could not understand their opponent- if he fights merely for the sake of doing so, then why did he fight as if he was not doing so? Or was it truly as he said- he merely wished to fight for the sake of fight.

How could this be? Kagetoki thought as he watched the fight. To just fight for enjoyment…not for anyone or even for survival, but for the mere sake of doing so.

"I can't understand it…I can't."

He probably never will.

The fight between Tomomori and Nozomi ended rather suddenly because Tomomori suddenly took a step back- almost causing Nozomi to fall forward. He did not sheath his sword, yet he did not hold them as if he was going to fight.

"I have had enough." He spoke in the tone of a voice of a man who truly had all that he wished. "I have seen what I wished to see, done all that I wished to do." (5)

"Wait! What are you doing!" Nozomi yelled out even as she ran forward.

"Military commander of the Genji, give my regards to Yoritomo as you explain my absence."

Then he jumped into the ocean, and the bloods on his blade which were completely dyed red, made the water swirl in a bloodlike red before it faded.

Just like the man.

"Tomomori-dono must have intended to do this all along." Atsumori said sadly. "Miko, this would be exactly what he wished for."

"It isn't senpai's fault at all." Yuzuru quickly said to Nozomi, who was still staring at the ocean, and has yet to pick up her sword. "It was merely what you had to do."

However, she was still in great shock as this was a death caused directly by her.

"Kagetoki-san," Yuzuru suggested, but stopped due to the seeing that the other was in no state to help anyone.

"I don't understand…I can't understand!" Kagetoki whispered. "If he intended to die in the very first place then why…why fight now?" (6)

"Aniue, are you alright?" Saku asked nervously.

Later on, she would find her brother's rather ominous words very difficult to forget.

"…the end for the beginning. It is finally here."

However, news of how Yoritomo's ship was being attacked quickly made them act. (7)

* * *

Yoritomo was very calm given that Shigemori was actually not that far away. It was true that this man was very skilled, but not even a single man could defeat an entire army. No, not even the famed Taira no Tomomori or even the recently famed Minamoto no Kurou Yoshitsune could.

Beside him, Masako was chuckling, obviously thinking of the same thing.

"Do you think that Kurou and the others will arrive on time?" She said, as if this was merely a request for dinner.

The result was certainly unexpected as Yoritomo never once thought that Kurou and 'Shigemori' might actually know one another. However, this also showed that his decision of choosing Kagetoki was right.

The other clearly knows this 'Masaomi' as well. However, he did not hesitate like the others. (8)

"Masaomi-kun, if you harm Yoritomo-sama then I will kill you." he said simply as he moved to stand in front of Yoritomo and Masako.

"Kagetoki, I have decided." Was what Yoritomo said in greeting. "Now is the time."

"But Yoritomo-sama, would it not be more practical if – " he began, perhaps hoping to delay it, even if it was just for a few minutes or even a few seconds.

"Kagetoki, do you question me?" Yoritomo said, and this was enough to cause an 'I obey'.

A shot was fired, but the target surprised everyone.

It was Kurou.

Any suspicion that the others might have about this being an accident was almost immediately dispelled by Masako. "As to be expected by Kagetoki, a perfect hit."

At his wife's words, Yoritomo actually smiled slightly. "For you, Masako, the hit would be a clear miss." (9)

How far away the days of Kyo seemed, when Kunihira had helped him with his archery skills.

"Kagetoki-san, what are you doing?" Nozomi yelled out, while the usually composed Benkei actually hissed: "Stop this."

"And how? How will you stop me?" Kagetoki's voice was very cold and at that moment, they saw him as he appeared when they fought with Kiyomori. (10)

"Kagetoki…why…" Kurou whispered, too stunned to react in any other way apart from this.

"Even now, do you not realise the mistakes you have made?" Kagetoki said with no little pity in his voice. "But then, that is why they were made. However, Benkei-dono…"

The other was not very pale and the hand that clenched onto his weapon was so tight that his knuckles were almost pure white.

When he spoke, he only spoke three short sentences. However, these three short sentences were enough.

"The attack on Fukuhara; Atsumori's presence, the sacred artefacts being returned."

Kagetoki nodded before he began to list them in a more formal manner.

"How could you suspect Kurou-san!" Nozomi yelled out to Yoritomo. "He is completely loyal to you!"

Once again, Masako laughed. "What a fine pair you are. What he thinks does not matter, "It is his actions that count."

"…and so you will sacrifice your own brother once there is no more use of him?" Masaomi hissed. He was not fond of the Genji as that would be impossible. However, he did care for Kurou. In addition, he felt that such an act was very inhumane.

"…aniue, how could you do this!" Saku demanded, placing a hand on Nozomi's shoulder, as the other was shaking.

"So you have been spying on Kurou all along?" Hinoe added with clear distaste in his voice. "So you really are Yoritomo's dog if you will betray Kurou like this."

"Where is the treachery when there is no loyalty?" Yoritomo interrupted calmly. "If he is a dog then he has been my dog since that day. He would be a traitor if he helps you." (11)

"Aniue!" Saku said once more.

"I have decided all these years ago." Kagetoki said softly, but very firmly. "I am not as indecisive as you all like to think I am. Saku, I gave up Tamako…what else won't I do then?" (12)

At that moment, he realised that was truly the hardest thing that he has done because Tamako would have made everything else so much easier.

Meanwhile, Saku was to realise that even thought her brother has showed how much he missed her, he never once regretted his actions or even spoke of reversing it.

"Kagetoki…you are a hachiyo." Hakuryuu said and he was completely bewildered. "I don't understand at all. You are supposed to protect the miko."

"I was Yoritomo-sama's servant before I was a hachiyo." At this, Kagetoki actually placed a hand on the gem. His eyes narrowed very slightly before he tore it out and the gem seemed to be dull due to the blood. (13)

"I give this back to the miko- I renounce my position of being a hachiyo." Kagetoki then raised his gun again after he allowed the gem to fall as if it was a mere stone. "Yoritomo-sama, please allow me to end this."

He still felt that the ideal solution was that Kurou died before all this. However, this was clearly impossible. Therefore, this might be the next best thing. At least, he would be spared of the pain that his action would cause.

But then, I would think so, Kagetoki thought bitterly, as I am a coward.

However, both Masaomi and Ridvan lounged forward with their weapons while Hinoe began to rearrange for the escape on the ship.

It was all according to Yoritomo's plan.

"Your sister would most likely go with them." Masako had said and this seemed to be the situation now. Saku and Nozomi were both heading to the ship although his sister actually showed some hesitation.

"…Saku." He called out. "Are you going to go with them?"

"I…" at this, she paused and actually turned to him. "Aniue, I don't know you anymore."

"…will you leave me?" he knew that he really had no right to ask such a question when it was he who drove Tamako away in such a cruel fashion.

"I…I…" She was actually shaking.

"Saku, there is no time for you to hesitate." Ridvan said very coldly.

Yes, this was so. Did he allow any hesitation when he told Tamako that he would divorce her?

"Saku." Kagetoki said his name once again.

However, his sister had made her decision just as he had made his own decision all these years ago. Unfortunately, it was a choice that would put them onto conflicting paths.

"I am sorry, aniue, but I don't know you anymore." She whispered before she actually ran away.

"Kagetoki, don't be upset if your sister does not know how a good a brother you actually are." Masako said sweetly. "I am sure that your mother knows what a good son you are."

This was a reminder that they still had power over him.

"Yoritomo-sama, do you really wish to just let them sail away?" Kagetoki asked as he watched the ships disappearing.

"Everything would carry out the way it is planned." Yoritomo said simply before he turned away and not even Masako saw his expression.

After all, Kurou was his brother and the closest remaining relatives. Therefore he would allow himself to be a normal human for a very brief moment. (14)

* * *

Yoritomo was sure that Kurou and the rest would end up going to Hiraizumi and seek the protection of Hidehira. The cruel part was that this final destination was not an escape.

However, Hiraizumi was the most logical and practical choice to the young man who recently lost everything.

The mood was very grim on the boat and it seemed that once more, the number of hachiyo was less then what it ought to be.

"Yuzuru, are you alright?"

Raising his head, Yuzuru was surprised at the sight of his brother. This must be one of the few times when his brother was in such an agitated state.

"After all, you were friends with that guy, weren't you?" Masaomi pointed out. He was also here due to Nozomi- who was busily comforting Saku and therefore was not able to be here.

"Maybe Masaomi-kun should have a talk with Yuzuru-kun. I think he and Kagetoki-san were actually quite close. Almost a bit like brothers." She commented. "I have seen the two of them talking quite a bit."

Was he, the elder brother, actually a bit sour at this? Especially when Yuzuru did not really seem to talk to him. Without knowing when, a gap had appeared.

The reason, however, was obvious.

"At first…I was surprised like everyone else." Yuzuru admitted. "But now that I think about it, it was obvious. Kagetoki-san described the attack in Fukuhara as dangerous even though it was not so, and he immediately became troubled when he learnt about Atsumori-san's identity, even though he initially said that it did not matter, and he was very worried when Kurou-san returned the sacred artefacts."

In addition, Kagetoki had indicated that he was loyal to Yoritomo and that Yoritomo would 'think of all the people instead of just one person'. Was that actually not a warning of all this?

Yuzuru also recalled what Kagetoki had said to him just before he left for Kamakrua.

"Yuzuru-kun, have you worked out what is the most important thing to you?"

At that moment, Yuzuru understood. Kagetoki did value them as companion and even friends, but they were outbalanced by what was on the other end of the scale: his family. Therefore, he would hurt them as they were not as important.

But how did this work out? Yuzuru thought in confusion. Saku was here and how would this help their mother? He could understand Kagetoki's reasoning, but he still failed to understand the other's method and way of thinking.

"But I have already decided what I would do." Yuzuru declared out firmly. "My resolution has not changed. I will protect senpai."

At this, his eyes rested on Nozomi, who was now talking with Kurou. He would protect her no matter what: even if she chooses another."

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1)__ I remember that scene from the NHK drama really well. Because when Yoritomo and Masako found out about how Yoshitsune returned the two artefacts, their initial reaction was that Yoshitsune is up to something by giving it back to Goshikaway-houou. They did not even though that he was too naïve. They were at such a time where it was automatic- whoever has the artefact is doing something so if you keep it to himself or give it to someone else, then this is basically a sign of you working with that person, or you wanting to have it yourself. At this point, I really thought that even though being honest is not Yoshitsune's fault, he would not have been able to survive in this world. In addition, I feel that it is fully understandable why Yoritomo would be so pissed. This would have been such a turning point, and yet Yoshitsune just gave it away. In addition, this is probably so obvious to people like Yoritomo and Kagetoki that they do not understand why they need to point it out._

_(2)__ Apparently, just before Tokiko decides to jump into the sea with the emperor, the emperor would be crying, as well as being upset. Therefore, Tokiko would consol him by saying that under the sea, is the capital that Kiyomori built. I also really like the bit in the drama, when Tomomori's wife told him that they would meet each other at that capital under the sea._

_(3)__ I thought that this bit was quite interesting. Obviously, Kagetoki know that Tomomori would not give up, yet he still spoke. I think this bit just show how Kagetoki feel that this is all so pointless. _

_(4) __This was the answer that Tomomori give, and his song is full of imageries of the dream/banquet/feast of Ashura, which just represent his desire of fighting, as the path of Ashura means the one that fights._

_(5)__ This is actually what the real Taira no Tomomori is meant to have said before he jumped into the sea, and I thought that bit was super sad. _

_(6)__In the original Haruka 3, Kagetoki would say this (after you fight Tomomoroi) that it is all finished. Tomomori will then jump into the ocean and Kagetoki would actually tell him to stop. And then, Kagetoki would be really upset at what happened. He would say that he just don't understand at all. It is necessary to realise that in Kagetoi's route, Tomomori is portrayed (from what we can see and this would be how Kagetoki saw him) as someone who is just fighting for the sake of it, not for his family or for victory. But just for enjoyment. Therefore, this is the exact opposite of Kagetoi, who is doing all this for the sake of his family, even though he really hates it._

_(7)__ What happened next, Kagetoki shooting Kurou is obviously the Izayoki version. However, in the izayoki version, we actually don't have Kagetoki fighting with the PC when they fight Tomomori. Therefore, this bit of him fighting Tomomori, as well as what he said, are all from the original game. Basically, I have combined the two together, because I want to use both._

_(8)__ If you think about it, it is actually a bit scary. Kagetoki definitely realised Masaomi, yet he showed no hesitation at all. He didn't even give any acknowledgement_

_(9)__ This bit is meant to be showing that Yoritomo does not intend for Kurou to get killed, therefore, Masako is saying that Kagetoki did the job just right. He shot Kurou, yet was careful enough to make sure that Kurou was not killed. After I re-played the game, I feel that this was deliberate. I feel that Yoritomo did all this in the hope that Kurou would go to Hiraizumi, and therefore gives him the opportunity of attacking Hiraizumi. I feel that if Yoritomo really intended to, then Kurou and the other would already be dead. __I real__ly think so because I feel that in this scene, Yoritomo could have chased after them and get some one to catch up. However, what Yoritomo said to Masako is an indication that her family would probably be quite happy if Kurou actually died here._

_(10)__ I was really amazed at that bit. One of the options you have is to ask Kagetoki why, and he would say: "yes, why?" in a really sad tone, another option is to tell Kurou and Masaomi to stop, in which case they will reply. Another option is to address Yoritomo for what he is making Kagetoki do, in which he would say that this is no betrayal, as Kagetoki was working for him all along. However, my favourite option is if you choose to tell Kagetoki to stop. He will, in a really scary and chilling voice, ask you how you plan to do that. "How? And how will you stop me?"_

_(11)__ As I replayed the game, I realise that this is so (and I was really lucky by being able to work with this theme in the story due to Tamako). __Yoritomo had been Kagetoki's master befo__re he became a hachiyo, therefore, it is logical that his loyalty would be to Yoritomo. This is just like how Yasuhira has no need of being nice to the PC. In a way, in a twisted way, I kind of like how Yoritomo says this. To say that he is defending Kagetoki is too much, but he kind of is helping Kagetoki._

_(12)__ This is what Kagetoki actually says in Kurou's route, but I feel that this bit is actually a really good indication of what he is like. I think everyone just see the much more light hearted side of him, when the truth is that once he made up a decision, he is actually amazingly scary at making sure that it would be enforced. Of course, Tamako is an OC but I feel the fact that Kagetoki could give her up, really show how determined he could be. __It is not just that he loves her and ha__s__ to give her up, but it is as he and Yasuhira would comment: to give up the one__ person who would have understood and not condemn you._

_(13)__ To be honest, I now really feel that there is no reason why the fact that he is a hachiyo should be loyal to the miko. I actually quite like this bit. But then, I admit, it is because I feel that loyalty seems to transcend beyond that of normal loyalty, but a slight sense of Mary Sue aspect__, which I really dislike. __Tamako would later explore this idea quite well. _

_(14)__This is my belief that Yoritomo does care for Kurou._


	27. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty ****six**

_"Love is not just something that you take_

_I am starting to realise it, a little."_

_~ (_**_Six_****_・_****_Wings_**_)_

After a very difficult journey, Kurou and his companions finally arrived in Hiraizumi. The young man that returned here was very different from the young boy who left to join his unknown brother. The brother who he had glorified so much had ended up being the one who made him ended up being here.

On their way, Benkei had given a brief explanation of the situation in Hiraizumi, as well as the people there.

"But why did Kagetoki-san divorce Tamako-san?" Yuzuru wondered out aloud. "Whenever he talked of her…he seems to really care for her."

He felt that the memories of Tamako were treated in a very precious way. Like a treasure that he would allow himself to look now and then in order for him to be comforted. Yet as it was so precious, it was usually carefully concealed.

"Has aniue talked to you about Tamako-dono?" Saku asked in surprise. "He usually does not…"

However, was it because Yuzuru did not condemn or reproached her brother? Or was it even because the other did not mind listening? As she clutched onto the pouch that she put the gekirin in, Saku suddenly thought of the brief time that she had been with Kokuryuu. She had enjoyed and suffered excessively- even though her brother was in a similar situation. (1)

And now…she left him.

She felt that she was no longer so certain of her actions.

Her brother must have a good reason, yet she did not seem to trust him enough to remain beside him. Yet she still trusted him to believe that he has a reason and therefore feel bad about all this.

She actually was glad of the ability of seeing Tamako. Surely a wife of the same age would know more then a much younger sister. However, what was it that she wanted to know?

Her eyes briefly rested on Yuzuru- would her brother have told the other much more then what he had ever confessed to her?

Now that she thought about it, Saku realised that she never knew why her brother returned from his first battle and decided to work for Yoritomo. The whole house had been hectic and there was his divorce. Not that long afterwards, she had met Kokuryuu.

It seemed that Yuzuru felt her gaze as he suddenly looked up. He has actually thought about talking to Saku in regard to what Kagetoki had said, but it seemed that he was still uncertain about everything.

However, he kept on thinking about what Kagetoki had told him. Three friends: two boys and a girl. The problem of the boys both loving the girl.

Perhaps, Yuzuru thought, Kunihira's tragedy was the fact that he has a chance of doing something. Perhaps he really would have just have been acceptant of his two friends' marriage if he never had the chance of making Tamako into his wife.

What would he himself do if he was in a similar situation?

Kagetoki had made it clear that this story was not a happy one. The two people who were friends were now married and she seemed to hate the other that she once regarded as a very special friend.

Yuzuru was not sure whether he could bear that. Yet could he bear his senpai leaving the one she choose to be with another? Perhaps Kunihira did what he did as he could not bear the possibility that the one who did not choose him the first time would not choose him the second time.

Their escape here seemed to have brought Nozomi and Kurou even closer together and Yuzuru knew that he has to accept it. However, he still found himself being tormented by thoughts of why and how upset he felt. That was why he kept on thinking of Kagetoki's story.

That was another warning- but it was for him alone, not for Kurou or Nozomi. Just for him.

"Kurou-sama, miko-sama, I have come to escort you to Mitachi, who is there with the other members of the family." The arrival of Shirogane immediately caused them to focus. Despite everything, no one was fully certain at what would happen before they meet the actual leader.

"Do you mean all the members of the family?" Benkei asked.

"Yes, my master Yasuhira-sama and his wife Rurihime-sama, his brother Kunihira-sama and his seishitsu Tamako-sama and his sokushitsu Iwako-sama." Shirogane reported.

To all others, they did not realise the significance of how Kunihira had both a seishitsu and a sokushitsu. After all, it was a very normal and common practice. However, Yuzuru has learnt that Kunihira had loved Tamako. Had loved her in a way that he chose to have her at the risk of being hated by her just to have her with him.

Why would such a man marry another?

"Rurihime-dono…" Benkei repeated this with a slight frown. "This could be a problem."

"Why? She is not the type who would do something like that." Kurou immediately said. "Besides, I do not think that she has anything against me." (2)

"Not you, but the Genji. After all, her mother committed suicide due to Kiso Yoshinaka. In addition, Tamako-dono…I heard that she is different from Masako-dono, but the Hōjō family has never liked Kurou."

Men were the ones who made the decision, but women played a very important role as well. They had great influence too. Taira no Tokiko was an example, and so was Hōjō Masako.

Even though woman who fought like Nozomi was very rare, this did not mean that woman did not fight. In fact, they fought as much as the man in their own way.

After all, this was the world that lived in.

* * *

Shirogane lead them to the room and he then bowed to them once more before he entered the room to announce their arrival. Kurou was walking at the very front, and since Nozomi was his fiancée- this façade allowed her to be right beside him.

Therefore, Nozomi felt that all the eyes in the room immediately turned to her. Some hard, some curious, but all were careful.

Hidehira was sitting in the very centre with his two sons on either side. He was old, but still a very imposing man. In fact, Nozomi felt a similar presence when she had come to face with both Yoritomo and Kiyomori: that of being a leader who was obeyed and revered, and even feared.

After Shirogane reported their arrival, he went to kneel beside one of the seated figures. The man seemed the same age as Kurou and he had a deep frown and when his eyes met Nozomi's, she was to find that they were very hard and piercing, almost causing her to turn away.

They contained no little dislike. (3)

Beside him was a young woman who was dressed in a very rich fashion that was familiar to the upper quarters of Kyo. Perhaps that was the only time when Nozomi has seen someone dressed in this way. It was a bit similar to Masako's, although it was a much more extravagant fashion. The young woman also had very long hair. She was sitting down, so the hair trailed after her.

She was also very pretty, perhaps beautiful was the more accurate word. However, she was very pleasing for a much more simple reason. Unlike the man beside her, her gaze was friendly.

On the other side was the elder son since Nozomi could tell that the age gap, although it was not as obvious as it could have been. His hair was much shorter and he was dressed in a simpler fashion. Another major difference was that he had a slight smile.

He had a woman sitting beside him with another woman at the other side, however, she was sitting a bit behind him. Nozomi recognised the first woman as Hōjō Tamako as she did looked like her elder sister, although there were obvious differences. Unlike Masako, she lacked that smile and had a slight frown replacing it. There was also a very strange thing about her- her hair was extremely short.

The other woman seemed like a rather conventional noble woman. Nozomi could not really tell what she looked like as her gaze was cast down most of the time, and her hands were folded over the swelling belly that was still visible despite her clothes.

"Welcome back to Hiraizumi, onzoshi." Hidehira began- his voice very regal and did not give them any clue to what he was really thinking. "And this is the famous hakuryuu-no-miko?"

"It seemed that the stories are exaggerations, as she is merely a simple peasant girl." Yasuhira commented, which resulted his brother reproaching him for this.

"But is it true that you fought alongside Kurou-dono?" Hidehira demanded. "A woman in a battle!"

One question lead to another, and they ended up retelling much of what has happened.

"I have a question." Tamako suddenly said, when they reached to the battle where the Heike were defeated. "Was it Kagetoki who came up with that plan of shooting the rowers?"

"Yes, has news reached this far?" Benkei asked in what appeared to be a very casual manner.

Husband and wife exchanged a look before the husband answered, even though the question was asked to the wife.

"Long, long ago, we had a discussion of what one would do if they were at a disadvantage in a naval battle." He said very grimly. "You all just saw the answer that Kagetoki gave."

At that moment, it was clear that the two did know more about Kagetoki then they had ever suggested, but Kunihira quickly changed the subject so that they would finish Kurou's story.

"…and this is all that has happened to you all?" Hidehira said gravely when the tale was concluded.

A silence followed as they were all clearly waiting for the judgement of the leader here.

"Why is Kamakura-dono so inhumane?" not only did Hideihira yelled this out, it was accompanied by tears.

"Hi-Hidehira-san?" Nozomi cried out in shock, and she was not the only one who was startled by this sudden behaviour.

Kurou and Benkei, however, both began to laugh.

"It is relieving to see that Mitachi has not changed at all." The two of them said together.

"Chichiue was rather worried about being too emotional upon meeting Kurou and Benkei that this ended up happening." Kunihira explained after a chuckle. "He even instructed Yasuhira and I to be formal in order to not make things difficult for him."

However, Nozomi felt that the other brother's reaction might not be an act. At the best, it was indifference, at the very worst, it was an open dislike.

"Kurou-dono, Benkei-dono, Miko-dono, as well as everyone else. I offer my protection to all of you while you are in my land." Hidehira declared out and his words had the effect of immediately assuring them. "If you wish it, then this Hiraizumi and Oushu will you be your home."

"…mitachi, is this wise?" the speaker was Yasuhira.

"Yasuhira, what do you mean by this?" Hidehira shouted.

He was not the only one who reacted. Rurihime was looking at her husband and her expression was that of great confusion.

"I am merely acknowledging the truth, that this is the chance that Kamakura-dono is waiting for in order to attack us." Yasuhira said very flatly.

"Kamakura-dono would merely find another reason. Even if Kurou-dono was not involved. I would not let him do so." Hidehira demanded. "This is the end to this matter."

"Regardless of what might happen to Hiraizumi?" Yasuhira continued.

"Do you have no shame, boy, in speaking in such a cowardly way!" Hidehira yelled out, even smashing his fist against the floor.

"You mistaken me, mitachi." Yasuhira answered coolly. "I am merely assessing the situation. And be assured, chichiue, that I would do all that I can to protect Hiraizumi."

"I do not understand Yasuhira-dono." Rurihime would say to her husband when he was alone with her. "You are actually very happy at seeing Kurou-dono and actually want him to be here. Yet why are you acting as if this is not so?"

"No matter what, Kurou's presence is very dangerous to Hiraizumi." He said very firmly before he suddenly chuckled. "Why am I not surprised that this happened? It is probably amazing that Kurou managed to survive this long. As if the situation is not bad enough, he has to be engaged to the supposedly Hakuryuu-no-miko."

This was seen as another indication of Kurou secretly planning to do something.

"And what is this about Kurou being a hachiyo and having to protect her?" he muttered.

He had not been the only one to react. Tamako had laughed bitterly as she muttered: "Yes, what a surprise it must be."

* * *

For convenience sake, Nozomi and the others were given their own house to live in, although Hidehira assured them that they could come to his house whenever any of them wished to. "Think of it as your own home." In addition, Yasuhira actually seemed to have 'lent' his own personal servant to them.

The very next day, Nozomi and Saku were to go there Saku expressed a wish of talking to Tamako and maybe Kunihira due to the possibility of them knowing a bit more of Kagetoki.

"Can I come as well?" Yuzuru asked. "I…I wish to speak to them too."

They were told that that Tamako was with Rurihime in the nursery. However, the maid then added rather kindly, which was very possible due to the fact that Shirogane was there, that it was probably not a very good time. After all, Tamako has been of rather short tempered lately.

"And so has Iwako-dono, but that is probably due to her condition." The maid said.

Rurihime greeted them warmly and she was like a child who was meeting a character from a well known story. She then quickly changed into a very loving mother by showing off her son.

"This is Yasuhira-san's son?" Nozomi couldn't help but to feel a bit curious at the child given that the parents appeared to be completely contrasting figures.

Saku, however, was not to be distracted so easily.

"Tamako-dono, I would like to talk to you about aniue." Saku began very firmly.

From her memories, the other had been a very kind and friendly person. She must have been pretty happy too because Saku could remember the numerous amount of times that she has seen her brother and sister-in-law laughing together.

However, the figure in front of her was frowning with eyes that were very cold.

"Saku-dono, why are you here? Why are you not by your brother's side?" at this, Saku realised that the gaze actually contained resentment. "I do not wish to talk to you unless you give me an answer that I can be satisfied with."

"Tamako-dono, I could not accept aniue's decision." Saku announced very steadily.

"And so you leave him? So you abandon your mother as well, as that is what you are doing when you abandon your brother." The other continued very cuttingly.

"What happened was not – " Nozomi began, but Tamako and Saku both prevented her from continuing. Although the two's method was really different, and it was really thanks to the latter.

"That person is alone saved for you and you would abandon him." Tamako said angrily. "It is true that it is his fault for driving away those that would stay with him. Yet you…his sister!"

That seemed too much for Tamako as she quickly stood up. "That person did choose his own path, yet I wished that he would be understood. I am disappointed that his sister does not understand him."

"It is not their fault, Tamako, you and I both know what Kagetoki is like." Kunihira pointed out as he entered. "Tamako, I wish to talk to you…alone."

"About what happened this morning? Don't bother, I don't care. However," her eyes suddenly narrowed. "She would be here soon and I do wish to avoid another scene such as this morning. Therefore, I will go with you."

"Wait, Tamako-dono," Saku began, but found herself stopped by Kunihira, who gently shook his head.

"Tamako is not reasonable when your brother is involved, Saku-dono. What happened was not your fault and Tamako is merely resentful at everything." He said gently, but his voice was very sad. "However, I have a very small wish. Please don't condemn your brother so much, what happened was not his fault."

"But why is he doing so?" Saku whispered. "To shoot Kurou-dono."

"Is it because that he believes this is good for his family?" Yuzuru suddenly asked. "But how does that help?"

Kunihira was clearly very startled at this and he actually stared at Yuzuru before he spoke.

"Yes, that is so. Saku-dono, surely you must know that Yoritomo-dono would be able to protect your family the way that your brother would never have been able to. If anything is to happen to Kagetoki, then your mother and you would have been well looked after." This was the lie that he and Tamako had created as they both realised that this question might be asked of them. However, it seemed that Tamako's temper got the better of her.

"But to do this! I am not happy about this and I am sure that hahaue would not be either!" Saku said.

At this, Kunihira was really glad that Tamako was not in the room as this might cause her to reveal the reason. He was sure that she would not be able to remain calm.

But then, she was thinking of Kagetoki as she was staring at that hair accessory. The flowers were a very pale pink now, but it seemed that they would never be able to be white again.

"I talked to Iwako." Kunihira began. "I told her that if she does such a thing again then I would consider divorcing her."

At this, his wife shook her head in despair and said the following: "You are an idiot, Kunihira-dono, as you are divorcing the wrong wife."

"Tamako, she struck you." Kunihira said simply. "She threw an incense burner at you."

"Yes, but all that she said were true." Tamako said in reply.

"I can't give you up." Kunihira said once again. "And I don't want you to be hurt."

"In that case, you are second. The first price goes to Kagetoki." She muttered viciously. "He is the one who hurt me the most."

"Tamako, is that wound alright?" he began in great concern, and he then made the mistake of actually stretching his hands out to touch her face.

"Don't touch me." she immediately said, as well as taking a step backward. "But what is it?"

"In regard to Kagetoki…it is not really surprising is it?" Kunihira finally said.

"Not since that day." She said as she glanced at that accessory again. "I think we both realised just how far he can go. He…desperation makes him a very capable man."

"That is so." Kunihira said in agreement. "But you are too harsh to his sister."

"The sister that he did so much to protect not only condemn him, she has even abandoned him. The fact that it is…it is for that girl!"

"The hakuryuu-no-miko?"

"That girl is upset at Kagetoki 'betraying' them because he is her hachiyo- that is the most ridiculous thing that I have heard!" Tamako sneered. "Is being a hachiyo the most important thing? If Kagetoki would betray his wife, then how foolish it is to expect him to not betray them as she is her hachiyo!" (4)

"Tamako, calm down." Kunihira began wearily.

"This girl has so many others around her, including the boy in there who would probably do anything for her, while Kagetoki now has no one." Tamako continued brokenly. "And this girl is who Saku choose to be with!" (5)

"Yes…that boy." Kunihira said thoughtfully. "The admirer that is not noticed at all."

It must be Yuzuru that Kagetoki was describing.

"They are your father's guest and I will naturally be polite to them. However, do not expect me to like them. Especially not these two. The two priestesses…" she suddenly chuckled very bitterly. "Of course, the ryuujin-no-miko could do whatever they wish as they are the ones that are blessed by the gods."

With that, she left.

Kunihira did not turn away until Tamako was no longer visible. The arrival of Kurou…or rather the arrival of the two priestesses has made his wife in a much more bitter mood. But he was not really surprised, even though Tamako did not say so, he knew that she was resentful at what Saku choose. That Saku- who had what she desired the most, being beside Kagetoki- would choose to abandon this.

Therefore, her being a hostage was regarded by Tamako as her fault.

"Tamako is not reasonable when Kagetoki is involved." He muttered once again.

"…Kunihira-san?"

"Yuzuru-dono, is it?" Kunihira said. "Kagetoki has briefly mentioned you. He said that you reminded me of him. Has he actually told you about what happened when we were young?"

A nod was given.

"Kagetoki must have…cared for you if he would tell you of that." Kunihira finally said. "I did not think that he has told even his sister of these things."

"I think it is because he is worried that I might end up doing something drastic." Yuzuru began tactfully, but Kunihira brushed these words aside and simply stated: "You have seen what this part of the story is like. It is not a happy one."

"…is it not difficult?"

"I know that I am wrong, and I know that I am hurting her. But I can't let her go to anyone else." Kunihira said simply. "But I wish that you would be spared of this, because it is a very bitter life. Tamako once regarded me as a very special friend, but she now loathes me. However, I think Kagetoki told you what happened because he was guilty. He blamed himself for not noticing what happened. I think you might have reminded him of himself as well. One who does all this and yet is not even noticed. Although I do not think that Kagetoki would ever notice this."

"Do you mean for his family?" Yuzuru asked sharply.

"He is merely doing what is best for his family. It is just that it happened to ended up being like this. Kagetoki's misfortune is not just that he is in this situation, but he could be strong enough in such a situation." Kunihira said grimly. "The truth is that he is a dangerous enemy for Hiraizumi."

"Yet the three of you were once friends." Yuzuru said softly.

"Very good friends." Kunihira whispered. "I still regard all these times in Kyo as one of the happiest time in my life…if not the happiest. The saddest bit is that I was the one who made it all impossible."

"…I felt like that once." Yuzuru admitted. "There was a time when it did not matter at all. However, you would know that one would not just be able to stop what I feel."

Yet what happened did make him think about the possibility- would he one day be in such a horrible situation? When he would cause the one he cared the most to loath him due to he himself.

However, he would need to make a decision. It seemed that his precious senpai has chosen to make Kurou the most special person, and most of them have noticed. Although the ironic thing was that the two in question has yet to realise this.

Kurou was a good man and Yuzuru was slightly relieved that it was not Hinoe or even his brother. Initially, he had intended to continue devoting himself to her, but he now wonder if this was really right, as that seemed too much like what happened with these three.

"Perhaps my misfortune is that I did not get to try and live my own life, although that might merely be because I did not try." Kunihira admitted. "However, that is why I could view what happens to you as a chance."

"To live my own life…is it?" Yuzuru repeated.

"Tamako once said that both Kagetoki and I were arrogant by deciding what she wants. I am not advising you, Yuzuru-dono, because I would be hypocritical. I am merely trying to tell you something. I have a sokushitsu and Tamako once said that it would be ideal if I fall in love with her. I think your senpai would surely wish for that as well."

Kunihira then walked away and Yuzuru then saw that Nozomi and Saku were both bidding farewell to Rurihime, an indication of them about to leave.

To live his own life…but how does he do it? Whenever he sees her, he would just automatically focuses on her.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) I do not think that Saku is to be blamed, but I do feel that she could have acted a bit differently. I feel that she probably did not really take notice of what Kagetoki felt. Of course, the fan fiction different due to Tamako being there, but even without Tamako…I think Saku might have noticed more, as that was when Kagetoki began to work for Yoritomo._

_(2) Rurihime and Kurou has met before, so he knows a little of her._

_(3) I think Yasuhira did blame Nozomi for some of the things that happened to Kurou._

_(4) Obviously, Tamako is an OC, but I feel that this does make sense. I don't see why being a miko is so important that one should suddenly give her the ultimate loyalty. Because I find it ironic that Saku says that her brother should not make the miko sad, given what her brother has done in order to protect his family. I really like what someone said about Asvin in Haruka 4, if Asvin is willing to fight his brother and dad with no hesitation, the PC really can't complain about how he as going to fight her._

_(5) I find it really sad that Saku actually ended up leaving her brother and going with Kagetoki. First of all, there is the fact that Kagetoki is doing this for Saku and his mother, and not only does she not understand, she actually condemn him. In addition, Kagetoki would be alone, unlike Nozomi._


	28. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty****seven**

_"In the centre of my memories, _

_in the dept of my heart,_

_Is your long flowing hair."_

_~ (__慈愛しさは光の砂時計__)_

It was autumn again, but it was an autumn quite different from before. This was because the possibility of war was very close, all that they needed was the arrival of outside news. That would be the final confirmation.

Nozomi and the rest has settle din Hiraizumi very well now, and they were actually very occupied. It seemed that Hiraizumi was not completely free of trouble. There were actually seeds of contaminations around Hiraizumi and there were also reports of onryuu.

The first seed was found by Nozomi upon a visit to a temple as Hakuryuu suddenly ended up being severally ill upon being near it.

"…help me?" Yasuhira had answered the suggestion with a deep scowl. "Help me? Why don't you first try to think who is it that brought all these troubles to Hiraizumi?"

"That is too much!" Kurou immediately protested.

"Hiraizumi has never had any problems until you lot come." Yasuhira said impatiently. "Try to not give me too much trouble."

With that, he returned to the work that he was doing.

"Kurou, miko-dono, do not mind Yasuhira so much." Kunihira quickly said. "It is just that he has been rather worried about what his happening."

Kunihira, along with Shirogane, has spent quite sometime with them and it was said that this was probably because his two wives were too much for him. He did not even wish to be near them. Iwako's pregnancy was making her extremely temperamental and bad tempered and even though Tamako never provoked an attack, she did not feel that she had to make way at all.

"Wait…" Yasuhira suddenly said. "You two are the miko. Did you two ever noticed something strange about Kamakura-dono or even those around him?"

"Something strange?" The two girls repeated this in bewilderment before they both shook their head.

"Why did I even bother?" Yasuhira muttered.

This time, his brother decided that the best thing was to get everyone out.

"Yasuhira, you really- " Kunihira began only to give up as this was not the first time. "Yasuhira, do you really think that Kurou is to be blamed for what happened?"

"He is not to be blamed, yet it is his fault." Yasuhira said before he suddenly stood up. "Tamako-dono might be of use."

"Tamako?" Why?" Kunihira immediately asked sharply.

"I think she might know something." Yasuhira actually decided to act immediately as he went to find Tamako, who was with Rurihime again.

"Yasuhira-dono!" the surprising visit of her husband created a very sweet smile that made Rurihime even more beautiful. However, Yasuhria did not even noticed it- not that this would matter.

"Tamako-dono, do you know of whether the rumours are true?" Yasuhira demanded. "That Kamakura-dono has unusual powers."

"How would I know?" Tamako snapped. "And eve if I know, why would I tell you?"

"For Hiraizumi's sake."

Her reply was very cold: "Do you think I care for this land that I am forced to live in against my will?"

"I have ways to make you speak." Yasuhira promised very flatly, completely serious.

"Yasuhira!" Kunihira immediately yelled out and he actually rested his hand on his blade. "If you dare to harm her…"

"Aniue, I know that you are idiotic in regard to this woman, but are you that foolish?" Yasuhira continued very coldly.

"Yasuhira-dono, I cannot tell you all that I know because it might do great harm to Kagetoki. However," She said this very slowly with a slight hesitation. "I think you might be able to find out. I…I don't think I can just watch all this and not do anything. Therefore…"

"A clue? How generous of you." Yasuhira said dryly.

"The rumours are true and it all started in Izu." Tamako finally said.

"Yasuhira, if you- " Kunihira began, but his brother waved it aside, although he did say: "I won't do anything to her."

After all, he was certain that he would be able to find out.

"Kamakura-dono is very much like my father in that aspect." Tamako added. "Help merely made him achieve what he wanted faster."

"Yasuhira-dono!" his wife actually followed him out and amazing as it was, she managed to catch up with him despite being weighed down and hindered by her trailing robes.

"What is it?" he finally asked, not bothering to adjust his pace for her. After all, he did not tell her to follow.

"Yasuhira-dono, surely you won't be doing anything to Tamako-dono?" Rurihime whispered. If you do, then…"

"Then what?"

"Is this really necessary?" Rurihime began and she then began to try and speak in a way that he might listen. "I really don't think that Tamako-dono would know that much. If she knows so much, then she would definitely not be in this situation. In addition, if you actually do something to Tamako-dono, I am sure that Kunihira-dono is going to react badly and you two arguing would only make things really bad now. And the fact is that you and Kunihira-dono really need to appear as…united now."

"Do you mean the silly rumours that are circulating? That aniue or Kurou would be a very much better ruler'? I do not deny that they are both very good generals, but what would be involved is not so straightforward and Tamako-dono could probably confirm it."

"But Yasuhira-dono, what are the rumours about Kamakura-dono that you are referring to?" Rurihime asked curiously. "The strange powers…do they not refer to the Genji no miko?"

"There are rumours that Kamakura-dono managed to gain power so suddenly due to a strange help…a strange force at work. Tamako-dono confirmed this. Hōjō Masako had been that which helped Hōjō Tokimasa, but what is the thing that helped Kamakura-dono?"

He suddenly paused and he turned to look at his wife. However, his gaze made her feel rather uncomfortable as that was how he looked at Shirogane and their other servants. This was when he decided whether something was useful to him or not.

"My brother's wives are both fond of you," he began, but much to his surprise, she started to laugh.

"I am sorry, Yasuhira-dono." Rurihime said apologetically. "But it is just that I am surprised that you would think that such a thing is possible. To Tamako-dono, the most important person to her is her first husband. For this, she resents his sister who she once said that she was very fond of for the mere sake that Saku-dono did not chose to stay with him. Also, this made her hate Kunihira-dono for bringing her here even though he was once her very good friend. You expect me her to confide her secret in me? I think, especially in her current state, this might only cause rumours of how your brother's wife and your own wife seemed to be fighting too."

Much to the surprise of Rurihime this time, her husband actually chuckled slightly and he used he tapped at her temple with his knuckles.

"It seems that this head is not a mere decoration." He said. "However, I did not mean openly questioning her. I wish for you to do it subtlety and see what you can find out from her."

"But Yasuhira-dono, wouldn't the best thing to do be getting the two miko to help us?" she pointed out, trying not to react too much to the rare compliment.

"Yes, but those who are blessed by the gods can afford to throw tantrums." He said grimly.

It seemed that he has decided to finish the conversation by mounting onto his horse. He had actually taken a horse on his way out, but much to her surprise, he did not immediately ride it. She then presumed that it was because he wished to finish their conversation, which did involve her. As a result, she actually ended up following him to quite some distance away from their house.

"Then I will- " she began, only to be interrupted by Yasuhira's hand, which was almost thrust to her face.

"You might be in trouble and that would only be inconvenient for me." was the excuse.

"Yasuhira-dono wishes for me to go with him on his business?" the young woman examined in shock.

"Just don't be in my way." Was the brisk order as he pulled her onto his horse- what he once did in what seemed to be quite a long time ago. However, the two bodies were no longer so ignorant of one another.

"Yasuhira-dono, I know that I am ignorant but I am not as ignorant as you think." Rurihime muttered a bit viciously. "Therefore, please don't think that I will be so stupid as to do something such as interfering in your business."

Due to the position, it was very difficult for them to see one another's face.

"That," Yasuhira said, "is a sign of intelligence."

"I think Yasuhira-dono forced me to use my brain." The young girl said thoughtfully with a slight laugh. After all, she only needed to be beautiful when she was in Kyo, as that seemed enough. At the very most, all she needed to do was to do some dancing.

Yet her husband, whom she desired to please, did not wish for a doll at all.

Their destination was one of the many temples in Hiraizumi- the one built by Yasuhira's grandfather. Due to the strange events that were taking place, the head monk of the temple actually implored Yasuhria to come and help them since Yasuhira was skilled in Onmyōdō.

Therefore, the temple was close to everyone and Yasuhira already has some guards waiting for him there.

"You, stay by me and spare me any trouble by being attacked." Was Yasuhira's order to his wife before he turned to the head monk. "I must know exactly what happened: have two people really disappeared, or is this rumours that are exaggerated?"

Rurihime kept to her words as she remained silent beside Yasuhira. However, due to her expression when she would turn to her husband, it seemed that she was merely choosing to do as she believed and trusted in Husband.

This was true as well.

"And you suspect that something is going on in that part of the temple? I will go there then." Yasuhira decided.

"Yasuhira-dono." Rurihime whispered very softly when they began to walk, judging the distance around them as enough. "Have you discovered what happened yet?"

However, he did not choose to answer her. When he suddenly stopped walking, Rurihime actually thought that this was because he suddenly decided to answer her earlier questions.

She was wrong, because he did not address her, but the head monk.

"I hear women's voices, yet you say that there are no other visitors? What is going on here?" he demanded.

"This…this is impossible, Yasuhira-dono." The monk immediately said. "We are completely devout here and the only time we allowed women to be here is if they are refugees."

"…wait. I hear Kurou's voice." Yasuhira suddenly said. He then chuckled. "It seems that Kurou and the miko, as well as the hachiyo, are not able to sit still."

He knew what Kurou would say too easily- it was for Hiraizumi's sake. Yet this was extremely ironic.

"I will go in with my men." Yasuhira said to the monk. "Wait outside."

Unlike the warriors he brought, he was sure that the monks would only be in the way.

"What are you lot doing here?" he began. Despite knowing why, he was still rather irritated upon seeing them. However, that was why he moved onto the second part of the question very quickly. "How did you manage to get in here?"

Before anyone spoke, Yasuhira noticed that there was an alien member in this party, and he was also clearly trying to hide something due to the way he attempted to hide away.

"Shirogane, seize that man." He immediately ordered before he turned to Kurou: "You certainly have some rather interesting company. You, the noble young man from the Genji."

"He merely helped us into coming in here as he wished to – " Nozomi began, but was completely ignored by Yasuhira, who turned to the one in question. "You, who are you?"

"Yasuhira-sama, please forgive me, but I merely wish to pray in this temple." The old man said, almost whimpering.

"I won't ask again: who are you?" Yasuhira snapped, his fingers tapping impatiently.

"I truly mean no harm! The man said as he actually knelt down and the sight was most pathetic. He suddenly dashed forward and grabbed the end of Rurihime's long robes and pleaded to her: "Rurihime-sama, please help me."

However, he was to be disappointed because the young woman simply said: "Then answer Yasuhira-dono's questions."

Since her husband did not believe him, then this man was most likely lying. Besides, she did not believe that she had a better judgement then her husband.

"…Shirogane, strike him here." Yasuhira said with a tap of the said part of the body on his own body. He then turned to his wife, who was trying to stay back with little success due to her robe being in that man's grasp. "Close your eyes because I don't want you to make a scene." (1)

Rurihime really wonder whether she ought to be grateful at the warning given that the action actually finished much earlier then the warning.

As the man was kneeling, the blood only splashed onto the end of her robe, but Rurihime still flinched slightly.

"Shirogane, search him." Yasuhira said before he turned to the prisoner. "If you make me ask you again, then I will kill you."

"Yasuhira-sama, I found this." Shirogane said as he held the small stone up.

"I had no other choice!" the man suddenly yelled out. "My family were starving and Kamakura-dono promised me that he would help me if I do this."

"To contaminate Hiraizumi?" Yasuhira said angrily.

"Yes, because they say that this is a way that the Hakuryuu-no-miko would grow weaker." The man admitted.

"And what do you know of the disappearance in the temple?"

"…" the man hesitated for a while because what would happen to him was very clear. However, he then felt that this man would probably be able to work out the truth anyway, and what would have been inevitable might end up being much crueller.

"I killed them." He admitted. "This is the second time I am here. The first time that I was here, I ended up killing the two monks. One of the monk first come upon me when I was in the middle of doing my work…I did not meant to kill him, I swear by the gods in this very temple!" the man was almost hysterical and it seemed that he was telling the truth here. "But I had to finish the job. Then…when I was about to leave, a second monk came and…"

"Where are the bodies?" the voice of his interrogator contained no pity. But then, did he show any pity if he still killed these monks? Nor was he merciful to them after their death."

"…and you contaminated their body in order to make the curse stronger? A pity that this is how you use your 'talent'." Upon so, Yasuhira pulled out his sword. "I am the future ruler of Hiraizumi and any injury to the people of Hiraizumi will be met by me." (2)

He struck very fast.

Once again, Rurihime flinched. However, she did not turn away. When her eyes met his, he realised, with some surprise, that she actually understood.

The same, however, could not be said of the others.

"This man harmed Hiraizumi as well as killing two of its inhabitant." He stated flatly. "This is justice."

"But to do so!" Nozomi protested. "This is too harsh!" (3)

"It seems that the ryuujin-no-miko is offended by this action. Does she have a definite way to make sure that this man would never harm my land and people again? Or even better, does she have a way to restore the dead to life?" he sneered. "Should I summon these men's families to you and let you say so to them? That the one who killed their sons or brothers being killed in return is too harsh?" (4)

"She does not mean it that way." Masaomi quickly come to her aid. "We understand that this is necessary but perhaps you could have questioned him a bit more before you decided."

"Yasuhira-dono, I did hear that that the hakuryuu-no-miko came from a very different world as it is very peaceful." Rurihime began.

"It must be a heaven where – " but Yasuhria was not as lenient to his servant as he was to his wife. He quickly gave Shirogane a glare that translated to 'shut up'. (5)

"This is no longer that world, but Hiraizumi." Yasuhira said flatly before he turned away. "Rurihime, I have some more business here so you will return with Shirogane."

She was disappointed, but she still gave him a nod very obediently.

"Rurihime-sama, do you wish for me to immediately escort you back?" Shirogane asked.

"I do not have to go back immediately." She said softly. "If my company is acceptable then…"

"Of course." Nozomi said warmly. Both she and Saku have talked to Rurihime a few more times and unlike both Iwako and Tamako, she was much friendlier with them.

"Please do not blame Yasuhira-dono for what he just did." Rurihime began as she gathered her robes carefully to hide the bloodstain as best as she could.

"I can understand why he feels that it is necessary but…it still seems a bit too much." Nozomi said.

"Yasuhira-dono is not someone who would do something unreasonable even though I am sure that many would say otherwise. However…he is a good man." Rurihime said desperately. "He may be a bit harsh at times, but he is not a bad man."

"We know that." Kurou quickly assured her. "It is just that…he seem to be quite extreme recently.

"Despite what he says, Yasuhira-dono can be emotional." Rurihime said softly. "All that has happened lately is making him stressed. He is really worried about Hiraizumi."

"That is true." Shirogane added before he recollected a particular accident that a servant, but not a wife, would know.

"…is that so…" Rurihime whispered in concern before she turned to Kurou. "But Kurou-dono, please remember this, he is actually very glad at you being here.

Although he expressed this by saying: "he should never have been so stupid by leaving Hiraizumi in order to go and fight alongside his brother."

* * *

As she waited for Yasuhira's arrival that night, Rurihime was doing a lot of thinking. A lot has happened on the day to cause her to be in deep thought.

She was brushing her hair, deciding to do this task herself, even though it was rather difficult due to the length. She had always been pleased with her reflection since she grew up hearing many comments on it. Of course, there were many who did not do so, so she did not feel as if all that she knew was gone when Yasuhira saw her.

Besides, she was too upset due to him ignoring her completely by reading.

Yasuhira was not the type of man who would be affected by her appearance, yet she still took great care with it. Was it just due to her own vanity? Or did she secretly believe that being more presentable did matter?

However, she was not as vain as she once was. Was it because of him? In Kyo, what would cause others to be pleased by her was very different. But then, she had lived in a very sheltered world, her parents covered her eyes and ears when something upsetting had happened or was about to happen. At the very least, the things would not be that bad.

She has seen corpses before- corpses of criminals that had been publically executed. Despite her mother reaching forward to cover her eyes, Rurihime still saw that still body.

However, this was the first time that she saw someone being killed, and the one that killed him was her husband.

She did not think that her husband was wrong at all. After all, what happened was an execution since a confession had been extracted from the criminal. It was actually better that her husband did so because execution made the death a punishment and prevented revenge, which could continue later on.

Besides, this world's justice was that if you killed someone, then you would have to face the consequences of being killed- the one exception being an act of execution.

It was quite late when Yasuhira finally arrived- his visits being rather predictable, as she realised the pattern. However, it seemed that the time he would make love with her was actually growing less frequent as he was often too tired to do anything.

Yet he still came to her. At the very least, he was not just coming to see her as he wanted to sleep with her. At the very least, it was not as if he could not stand the stand the sight of her. But then, she thought sadly, that would not matter at all. He was still do what a husband needed even if he thought of her as very hideous.

Rurihime was actually very uncertain in whether she wanted a second pregnancy. She wanted more children, she was very certain of this. However, she was a bit nervous at the trial of a second pregnancy.

In addition, she was selfish. A second pregnancy would deprive her of his company once again.

"Yasuhira-dono, what is it that you think then?" She said as she gently touched his face. She was not asking for an answer since she learnt that such a thing was not possible. However, she chose to address his sleeping figure as this was a way to allow this indulgence. "Is it better for us to have a second child now or a bit later?

A wisp of his hair was across his face since he would unbind his hair when they go to sleep. There had even been times when she was able to attend on him by brushing and binding his hair for him.

"I wonder if Yoshihira would grow up to be very much like Yasuhira-dono. I hope he would. However, I really wonder what a daughter of ours would be like." She continued, brushing that wisp of hair back for him.

Much to her surprise, she suddenly felt her hand being grabbed.

"If you have a question to ask me, then say instead of muttering to yourself."

"Yasuhira-dono! You are…you are awake!" Rurihime murmured in shock before she quickly began to apologise.

"Never mind about that. What do you want to ask me?" he asked.

"I was merely thinking about whether it would be good if we will have a second child soon." She muttered, feeling very embarrassed at all that she had said.

"It is naturally good to have many children, although too many could be bad as well. Just look at the Heike and the Genji." He said in reply.

"But Yasuhira-dono, wouldn't most people say the opposite?" She asked curiously.

"If you can't unite your family, then you actually face a much more dangerous crisis." He said bluntly. "Yoritomo is paranoid, but it is not without reason. If Kurou wishes to, then he can create great problems for Kamakura-dono. After all, Kurou is one of the Genji too." (6)

"But Yasuhira-dono, we only have a single son now. Although he is a very healthy boy so I am sure that he would be able to reach adulthood. However…"

"A second child would be good. However," At this he actually popped himself up by his elbow. It was quite dark, but the light visible was enough to let Rurihime know that there was a frown, and this was not just because she knew that it would probably be there. "I am very busy right now so I don't want to have the extra problem of what you might do due to being pregnant."

"That was partly because of what happened to my mother!" Rurihime immediately protested. "And also…"

Because she felt that her husband could never love her back.

Now, at the very least, she had a slight hope due to that miracle.

"But there is something that I often wonder…whether Yasuhria would have a sokushitsu. After all, you are in such a position."

"I don't need one yet." He said simply. "Right now, I hardly have time for you, let along a sokushitsu."

He did not deny that he might need to do so one day, but what was the point of telling her this, especially when she finally quite down and seemed to be asleep. However, she was actually much further then she usually was when she woke up.

She was certainly very different from the twelve years old girl that he had married.

Why was he actually in this room? He did not need to come here today as he knew that he was be performing the act of the bedroom with her. Was that not why he would come here?

Was it because of duty? He ought to be coming here now and then since she was his wife? After all, some did say that part of what caused his mother to walk out of the marriage was the fact that her husband gave her so little attention despite her being the seishitsu. In addition, didn't his own wife threw a tantrum due to what happened in her pregnancy?

She was reasonable most of the time but it seemed that she could be emotional now and then.

The figure beside him has fell asleep or presumed that he did so, as she suddenly grabbed him and was right against him. Her long hair then fell forward like a blanket onto part of his body.

Strangely, very strangely, it was not unpleasant at all.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) In a way, this is actually Yasuhira showing some concern for Rurihime, as he does not want her to see someone being killed._

_(2) In the actual story, it was Shirogane that struck the guy, and he wasn't killed (which is why I feel that the game is actually still making things quite idealistic for the PC). However, I feel that Yasuhira would have killed this man for what he did (although in the actual game, the monks just disappeared, they were not killed.)._

_(3) I think the PC would definitely say this, as she is just too…privileged and sheltered._

_(4) In regard to this bit, this is actually a bit reminiscent to what Yasuhira says in Shirogane's route, when the PC told him that he did not need to kill Shirogane, that there might be some other ways, he will admit that this is true, but then he would ask her what ways are there? Does she have a way to come up with a way, because they do not have that much time. I also like what Yasuhira said at the end, as I feel that this summarises the situation really well._

_(5) Yet another of my 'Yasuhira cares for Rurihime…in his own way'. He actually did not snap or yell at Rurihime, but he actually glared at Shirogane._

_(6)__ I remember that in the NHK drama, at one stage Yoritomo would comment that the problem with the Heike is that they are too reliant on their family bond, and later on Munemori would say the same thing as well. He would point out that because he had always been really jealous of Shigemori, that was why he gave Koremori such a hard time. Yet it is really ironic as they are all in the same family._


	29. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty****eight**

_"If there is to be war, then there is no path other then winning_

_The harsh wind will be my servant; the whirl wind will be my blade_

_Whether it is gods or demons, I will not let them cross_

_These steps will last into millennia and not be destroyed"_

_~ (千載不磨の夜明け前)_

Yasuhira and his brother had never been extremely close, yet they were not on bad terms with one another. In addition, the two of them did often discuss issues in regard to Hiraizumi now and then. Due to all that has happened, this was not an uncommon thing at all.

Nor was it that unusual for their wives to be presented.

However, the mood the room would have been very surprising as Kunihira was actually glaring at his brother. Tamako, on the other hand, was actually quite calm.

"Your father…really is quite surprising." Yasuhira finally said. "He really risked a lot…"

"Chichiue was an ambitious man." Tamako said simply. "Yet he was a cautious man. That was why nothing happened despite the fact that it would have already happened with most other people in his situation. But is it early enough for me to say 'congratulations' with an 'as to be expected of Yasuhira-dono'?"

"Tamako, what are you talking about?" Kunihira demanded. "Yasuhira, what are you trying to say?"

Rurihime, however, remained beside her husband with a very calm expression.

"And so?" Tamako continued. "What have you found out?"

"…the circumstances are not completely clear but a group of travellers from a land rather far away from ours had arrived in Izu and with them was a relic. However, what they did not know was that the relic was not just that. It contained…it was the refuge of a divine being, the goddess that it was dedicated to. Somehow, your father found out and he offered refuge to the divine being." Yasuhira spoke in a rather flat tone, as if he was merely reciting a history lesson instead of something that affected them all. "However…it seemed that the being is now in your sister."

"How did you discover all of this?" Tamako suspected that he would be able to discover all this, but she was still very surprised.

"I found one of the men who had brought the relic to your father…a pitiful being. It seemed that the goddess repaid the men who had revered her by eating them. This man was the only survivor- perhaps your father actually ended up saving him. However, what happened made him completely crazed." There was no pity in his voice, which was why he did not feel bad at what happened to the man. After all, his knowledge had to be kept as a secret in order to not let the advantage of surprise being lost.

"I also found a man who fought alongside your first husband in the battle where the divine being's powers were first demonstrated."

"You are right saved for one part. " Tamako finally said after a long silence. "Yes, my father did harbour that being. Perhaps I should even thank you, Yasuhira-dono, as I actually did not know all that had happened…what chichiue did. However, you are wrong…That being is not in my sister's body…that being and my sister has become a new being. A new entity."

"This story is absurd!" Kunihira yelled out. "This is surely a fantasy!"

"It is the truth." Tamako interrupted him. "I have seen that being with my own eyes…I have talked to it."

"And what is the price Kamakura-dono pays to have its blessing?" Yasuhira demanded.

"Why is the hakuryuu-no-miko the blessed one? Because she is the one who is loved by the ruujin. It is the same with Kamakura-dono. She…both the goddess and my sister loved him." Tamako whispered. "That is why they could be so powerful…they were willing to become a completely new being. For his sake…they give up being who they were."

"…is that so?" Yasuhira pronounced bitterly. "Yes, those who are blessed can do what others could never do."

"But Yasuhira-dono, what happened to the man whom you talked to? The one who had been from that place?" Tamako asked.

"He died…he killed himself with my sword. As I said, he was a very pitiful sight."

"Was it really an accident?" Kunihira suddenly said sharply.

"…I think it would be one." Tamako said thoughtfully. "After all, the information that he gave was not complete. Yet he is dead…"

"That is so." Yasuhira admitted easily.

"But this whole thing…" Kunihira began once more. In that, he was very much like their father, and his behaviour now was a foreshadowing of everything. "Rurihime-dono, what do you think?"

"If Yasuhira-dono says so, then it must be so." She said simply. "After all, he is not the type of man who would lie or make something up."

"Believe or deny as you choose, aniue, but it is the truth." Yasuhira said. "But this is the problem…how to defeat a god and one who has a god on their side?"

"I truly know nothing about this." Tamako said honestly.

"But whose side are you on, Tamako-dono?" Yasuhira retorted back. "Kajiwara Kagetoki is serving Yoritomo and whatever that being his wife is. Therefore, who do you wish to win?"

"Am I not here? That is probably my only answer." Tamako said sadly. "That person would not have me by his side and I doubt your brother would allow it given our current situation. Yet all that I want is to truly be on his side."

"Tamako-dono, I do not personally care if you want to abandon your second husband for the first one, but I warn you now: I will not let you do anything that endangers Hiraizumi." Yasuhira said very grimly, and Rurihime was actually quite surprised that he did not draw his blade out.

"Yasuhira-dono, I am a woman with little power." Tamako snapped as she began to walk away. "I do not even have the ability to not re-marry!"

"Tamako, wait!" Her husband was almost immediately chasing after her. "This whole thing…"

This meant that Yasuhira was alone with his wife. Much to his surprise, the eyes that looked at him was very calm and certain.

"And you believe in what I just said?" he asked, a bit curious at her reaction.

"Because Yasuhira-dono said it." she replied firmly before she explained what she actually meant by this. "If it had been someone else who said it…perhaps anyone else, then I would feel that it was just a rumour or an exaggeration that has yet to be proven. However, if it is Yasuhira-dono, then it could only be the truth."

"It is the truth." He assured her. "However, it is not a truth that would be easily believed. Aniue is a good example."

"Yet there is the miko, the oni-no-ichizuku. All these people have shown that there are beings with more power." Rurihime pointed out. "Not to mention that Yasuhira-dono is the one who is saying this."

"But these would be regarded as exceptions. Aniue and chichiue are both alike…they would only believe what they can see. However, it would be much too late by that time."

"But what if the priestess or the ryuujin says something?" she suggested. "Surely they would believe it then? I am sure that both the miko and the ryuujin would be willing to help."

"What help would those who are ignorant be? However…they can be useful to me." he said thoughtfully. "But the question is how…"

"From what I have seen of the two miko, it seems that they are the type who would help Hiraizumi anyway."

"Because they are blessed by the gods and can therefore risks what mortals could never do. Rurihime," Yasuhira suddenly said grimly. "I have things for you to do."

It was an order, not a request, let along a plea. First of all, this was the type of man that he was. Secondly, and this was equally important, he already knew that she would most likely obey.

"If I can be of use to Yasuhira-dono, then I would." She said firmly.

"Because I am your husband?"

"Yes and no. Because I love Yasuhira-dono. Since the very first meeting, I have wished to be able to do something for you."

"But are you capable of doing anything for me?" Yasuhira said relentlessly. "What if I ask you to do something cruel…something like betrayal?"

To do her credit, she did hesitate for a bit. However, she then nodded.

"If it would help Yasuhira-dono."

"Be friendly to the miko…try to win them over. It would be easier if they would cooperate." However, do not forget that this is for me, not for anyone else."

"I will try to convince them that you are right." Rurihime promised.

* * *

A few days later, her husband actually seemed to have found a solution to the situation as he told her that this was a way for them to have a great advantage. However, he would not explain the plan. She wonder if secrecy being necessary was really the only reason.

She trusted him, but many others didn't. Kunihira raised the question in private as he was aware that it was necessary for them to keep an united front.

Their father, however, made his displeasure more apparent.

"What folly is this!" Hidehira yelled out. "Building that strange thing at such a time!"

Yasuhira, however, merely gave a bow and said: "It is for Hiraizumi's sake, mitachi."

"People are not very happy about Yasuhira-dono spending so much resources on that thing. I even heard my servants gossiping about it." Rurihime began. "Is it so important?"

"It might be our only chance, so what do you think?" was the dry reply.

"…Yasuhira-dono, I know that the hakuryuu-no-miko and some of the hachiyo are rather curious about this thing." Rurihime suddenly said. "Do you think that they can be allowed to see it?"

He was just going to reprimand her for her stupidity when he realised what she actually meant- this would be a good chance for her to be in some sort of a favour with the others. Since she was his wife, she would have the ability to convince the guards.

"They would probably sneak in anyway and it might be much better if I do use this to my advantage." He said. "Rurihime, all your have to do is to be at a specific place in the area of a particular time."

"Has Yasuhira-dono actually predicted when they would arrive?" she examined out in great surprise.

"I know that they plan to sneak by hiding in a wagon of hay. A trick by Fujiwara no Tanzo." He scoffed. "Although to think that I would let them think that it would work to a certain extent…" (1)

"Fujiwara no Tanzo?"

"Do you not know the bettou of Kumano?" there was scorn in his voice, so Rurihime had to quickly add the following as an explanation: "I know who he is. What I mean is that I did not know that he is in Hiraizumi and is a part of Kurou-dono's party."

"He arrived yesterday."

"That is Tanzo-dono, the bettou?!" Rurihime was almost yelling. "How is this possible? That…that man!"

She happened to have walked past when Hinoe had been standing extremely close to Nozomi. When Hinoe noticed her, he actually grabbed Rurihime's hand and kissed it before whispering some of his compliments, which were really more like flirting lines.

"What did he do to you?" this was asked with a slight frown, although she did not have much time to indulge in the possible meaning of these words as he soon said: "Don't forget that your actions would affect me due to our position."

What a fool she was for thinking that he might just be a little bit jealous.

However, she was sure that their relationship has changed. After all, was he not talking to her much more?

"Yasuhira-dono, I know that I can't be like Masako-dono, Nozomi-dono, and Saku-dono who would have been able to give you some sort of supernatural help." She said softly. "But I will do all that I can for you."

His answer was very to character, but it still surprised her.

"Do you think that I am the type of man who would need to depend on his wife?"

It was rather easy for Rurihime to enter the construction site. After all, she was Yasuhira's wife. To a certain extent, her husband actually gave her quite a lot of freedom. After all, the only limitation he had given her was that she would not get in his way.

The workers were not that surprised at seeing her here. After all, they knew that she would deliberately go and find her husband despite the fact that he would only seek her company due to necessity.

"But please be careful, Rurihime-sama." They told her- which was really the permission.

"Do you know what Yasuhira-dono intends?" Rurihime asked the overseer, who actually has the design plan, which was drawn by Yasuhira himself.

"I know nothing…I do not actually think that this is the actual plan. It is not complete." The overseer admitted.

"Yasuhira-dono told you nothing at all?" she was careful to keep control of her voice as the last thing that she wanted was for people to say that their future leader was not even trusted by his wife.

"Rurihime-sama, all that Yasuhira-sama has told me is that this is very important." Was the honest answer.

"Yes, that is true." Rurihime assured the man steadily before she announced her intention of looking at another part- which was only allowed after more entreats of her being careful.

The people of Hiraizumi could tell that the relationship of Yasuhira and Rurihime was one of duty on his side. However, as she was histhe wife, she was still very important, so it would be very bad if she was in danger. Their master would no doubt punish them.

The said wagon was quite obvious due to the size. However, Rurihime still waited for them to all get out and tidied themselves before she stepped out.

"And what are you people doing here?" she asked.

They were surprised due to her appearance, but someone quickly answered.

"Isn't what is hidden always a greater treasure?" Hinoe said with a wink- which caused her to quickly turn away. For all she knew, her husband might be watching and she would not let him see her behaving wrongly even if he did not regard the right behaviour as anything other then what was expected.

"Are you so curious as to make your way in by such a way?" she asked in real curiosity.

"Rurihime-dono, do you know what this building is for?" Kurou asked. "Just what is Yasuhira actually thinking?"

"If I am being honest with you, then I think Kurou-dono has a much better chance of knowing then me." she said, surprising herself. "But how did you intend to come here without being escorted out?"

"By pretending to be the workers." Hinoe said simply.

"Would that actually work?" Rurihime muttered before she shook her head. "I do not think you lot being here actually matters much. Therefore, I would allow it. However, do not let Yasuhira-dono sees you, because he would definitely send you out…and I might be send away too due to allowing this."

"Then I am surprised that you would do this favour for us at the expense of angering your husband." Hinoe said shrewdly.

"Because I would like to know more about what he is doing and I think that you people might be able to end up helping me to find out." She said and this was actually completely true.

Yet it was a lie as well, she thought cynically, and I seemed to have become rather good at it.

She was then walking beside Nozomi while Saku was on Nozomi's other side. At this, Rurihime could not help but to feel that they must appear as a very strange sight.

Saku was in the outfit of a nun, which completely contrasted with her extremely elaborate kimono- the reminder of her heritage. Their hair was also a great contrast too- the short hair of a nun that barely reached to her chin, while her own hair reached past her knees.

Then there was the other priestess. Nozomi was in an unusual fit that would describe as peasant wear at the politest, or as slutty at the other end. But then, the other was a priestess, who was meant to be sacred, so what she wore would probably not matter no matter what. However, Rurihime did notice that the fabric was very fine. (2)

"I cannot move freely if it is too long." Nozomi explained, and that had been one of the reasons that she insisted on wearing her sneakers from the modern world. The only times she took them off was when they were escaping, as it was much too conspicuous. "But most females in this world seem to be different."

"More of those from Kyo. Tamako-dono is very different." Rurihime said simply. "People did say that Houko-hime was very different from Chitose-hime as Houko-hime walked about the streets of Kyo dressed as a peasant."

"Rurihime-san is really knowledge about Kyo." Nozomi said upon the other finishing telling them about the past legends.

At this, the other suddenly laughed- almost a giggle. At that moment, they seemed a bit similar by both being young girls.

"Do you not know that I am from Kyo and I only came to live in Hiraizumi when I was fourteen years old?" She said. "When I was younger, I met Atsumori-dono, although he probably does not remember me, since he did not really pay any attention to me."

"But Atsumori-kun is so gentle. I am sure that he wouldn't ignore you." Nozomi protested.

"I think he was too shy to talk to me, he still seems so now." Rurihime said with a laugh before she turned very serious. "Nozomi-dono, Saku-dono, you two have met Koremori-dono, is that not so? I heard that he became an onryuu that had to be purified…"

"That is so." Saku said softly. "People curse onryuu but they are beings who ought to be pitied."

"Is it true that he became very different from the way he used to be?" Rurihime continued softly. "The gentle man who was so fond of the arts."

"Has Rurihime-san met him before as well?" Nozomi asked.

"Long ago, when I was only a little girl. Before all this, before the war." Rurihime was looking at the fan in her hand although she did not open it. "He…was a very kind man to a little girl who admired his dancing."

Yet the end of one thing merely caused another to begin.

"Did you have much dealing with the Heike then…did you know…Tomomori?" Nozomi asked, still unable to forget the one who she had caused to die.

In addition, Shirogane seemed to look so much like Tomomori.

"I have not met with them many times." Rurihime said. "Chichiue did not like the Taira family that much, so he tried to evade them if it was reasonable."

The girls were some distances away from the others, so that was why no one stopped the conversation- which was actually moving towards dangerous ground. Saku knew of the stories but she did not know it that well. In addition, Benkei only mentioned about what had happened to Rurihime's mother.

"But do you not think that Shirogane looks a bit like Tomomori?" Nozomi continued.

"I would not recognise the sons of Kiyomori-dono, nor would I want to." Rurihime said rather sharply. "Of course, Kurou-dono is different from that man, just as Koremori-dono was a nice man to me, although he probably would have hurt me if it helped his family's interest."

"…Rurihime-dono, are the stories true then?" Saku asked softly. "That your father fought beside Price Mochihito."

"Chichiue died due to a Heike while hahaue died due to a Genji." Rurihime said grimly. "The reasons were similar. However, that is why I trust Yasuhira-dono. He is different from Kiso Yoshinaka and Taira no Kiyomori. Unlike them, he would protect his people and that would be all. He would not hurt others for Hiraizumi's sake, unless they attack him first. In that case, it would be self defence, which is perfectly justifiable."

"Is this how you see Yasuhira-san?" Nozomi asked, curious at what his wife would say. She knew that Rurihime loved Yasuhira, but that was all that she knew.

"I have seen what Taira no Kiyomori and Kiso Yoshinaka was like, and I have suffered under their hand. However, I can tell that Yasuhira-dono is different. He will be fair to the people, it is not necessary to be his relation. Nor would he wish to take other being's belonging. Therefore," Rurihime said firmly. "I wish for Yasuhira-dono to be the ruler of Hiraizumi and that is why I trust him so. If he says that this building is important, then it must be so, as he would never do something that endangers Hiraizumi, nor would he do something that is only in his self interest."

Whether the others believed this view was one thing, but they would tell that the speakers certainly fully believed this. The fact that Yasuhira was not really warm to her was actually an advantage because Rurihime must have felt more then love in order to decide so. For her to still regard him as being like this when he showed little affection to her.

* * *

The visit might have remained 'unnoticed' by Yasuhira as he was supervising the buildings at a particular spot. However, he had no wish of being regarded as stupid due to not noticing the rather obvious scene.

It was an onryuu, which was no longer alien in Hiraizumi. However, it was a very strange one. Instead of being purified at the end of Nozomi's chanting, it actually seemed to be growing in strength.

He then noticed the strange marking which suddenly appeared. It was brief, but that was enough. He saw that they were the runes of a curse.

His wife has wisely stayed a great distance away. She was not useful, but she was not stupid enough to be troublesome.

"Shriogane, strike that thing there." he ordered.

The thing was destroyed by destroying the ruins at the very centre, but the damage was done. In addition to the destruction of some materials, the workers were to suffer a lowering of morale.

"You lot certainly have interesting company." He repeated this sarcastically. "Every time that I see you outside, something bad is happening."

"Why couldn't that thing be purified?" Nozomi began, still too upset at what had happened.

"Are you really the ryuujin-no-miko?" Yasuhira scoffed out. It was true that he did regarded himself as very capable, but the other was not just an ordinary girl. "That onryuu contained a seed of condemnation that was carved onto its essence."

"Do not insult my miko!" Hakuryuu immediately shouted in response while Yuzuru said the same thing, only that the words were senpai instead.

Kurou actually spoke as well, although he controlled himself quite well.

"Yasuhira-dono, that is too harsh." He began.

"You really are blessed, miko-dono." The words were certainly not said as a compliment. "Someone is always coming to your aid. I think you will never understand what one without such a fortune would have to do. Is it because you are born to be blessed, or is it because you are good at attracting men?" (3)

"It is true that I have received a lot of help but what you say is going too far!" Nozomi began angrily. "It is an insult to everyone!"

In her anger, the white gekirin began to grow and Yasuhira could suddenly feel an unnatural presence. The gekirin had power to help her travel back through time once, but that was all. After all, that was something too powerful. (4)

Even for an immortal.

However, Nozomi naturally still treasured it greatly.

"…so that is the gekirin." Yasuhira said thoughtfully and he was almost staring at it.

"What do you want?" Nozomi yelled out as she quickly covered it with one hand, while her other hand actually moved to her sword.

"To be able to do my work without being disrupted by you and your hachiyo at every turn." Yasuhira said as he turned away. "If you do not leave here, then I will make you lot leave."

He needed to get them out of his way as soon as he could due to the possible ideas that he could not reveal.

"How dare you!" Nozomi began once again, still very angry.

"We will leave immediately." Benkei said. He realised that due to Kagetoki being gone, he was now usually the one that was responsible for noticing these things, although he did get some help from Masaomi now and then. (5)

"…and you?" Yasuhira turned to his wife.

"May I at least stay?" Rurihime asked.

The answer was the same and she remained obedient to it until much later, when they were finally alone.

He was first aware of this when he suddenly felt the end of his sleeves being tugged. No, jerked was the more accurate word.

"Yasuhira-dono, why is it that I work so hard to praise you when you would just ruin all the work I was doing?" she asked, and this was actually clenched out.

"Why, is this task too difficult for you?" he asked coldly in reply, although he was briefly surprised at the fact that she was snapping at him.

"That is not why! But Yasuhira-dono, do you dislike the miko…the hakuryuu-no-miko so much?" she asked.

"I do not dislike her, I merely do not like her. Yet because I am probably the only one who does not like her, it appears that I dislike her." He said simply. (6)

"I am not sure. I think you dislike her." She said softly. "However, what happened to the fact that we are trying to have them on your side?" (7)

"I will not do that by begging." He said firmly. Then his gaze turned back to that strange building once again. "Yet it is ironic, it seems that men's strength alone would never be enough. However, I will never be a slave to any god."

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_[1]__Somehow, I feel that Yasuhira would actually know who Hinoe was, and so would just call Hinoe by his full name_

_(2) I thought of thought this due to Inuyasaha, not so much Haruka. In Inuyasha, there was a scene when this bandit actually told Kagome that she is really asking for it by wearing such a short skirt. But if you think about it, the fact that Nozomi is wearing such an unconventional clothes is bound to make people gossip. The skirt really is pretty short, and even though one could argue that she could not wear what someone like Rurihime would wear, I feel that she should have wore a modified version of a peasant kimono, or like what Saku wears._

_(3) Yasuhira actually said a very similar thing in Shirogane's route. He would comment that Nozomi seems to have a talent in taming dogs as that is what she has done with the hachiyo, and now she is moving onto Shirogane. I really remember this bit really well because it was such a __great comeback to the mary sue issue. However, I feel that Yasuhira does have a good point, because that is what Nozomi has been like all along. Even Hakuryuu is there. I cannot help but feel how unfair it is, when in the second game, hakuryuu basically just dumped Karin in Kyo and leave her to survive herself. _

_(4) I feel that what happened in Haruka 3 is too much, giving her the ability of changing the future. In addition, if I don't limit it then there is no way that I can write this story. As everything can get changed. Highly likely that she'd try to save Tomomori and Shirogane._

_(5) It does seem like that this is usually Benkei and Kagetoki's job- I remember the bit in Haruka 3, where Kurou was going to say his full name, and Kagetoki had to elbow him aside. As for Masaomi, I think he would be helpful but the problem is that he doesn't notice it half the time._

_(6) To be honest, this is what I feel. It seems that because everyone loves Nozomi if you don't then it is because you dislike her. Likewise, it seems that what Kiyomori did to Saku is okay, but not what Masako did to Nozomi, even though it is pretty much the same._

_(7) I feel that this bit is really sad, the fact that Rurihime said "your side", not "our side."_


	30. Chapter 29

**Chapter Twenty****nine**

_"That which decides fate_

_Is nothing else but one's own heart_

_There is no place where I can return to_

_Nowhere in this world."_

_~ (濁流のほとり清流の淵)_

The day has finally arrived. The day that everyone knew would eventually come has finally come. The temporary peace would be truly gone, even if the peace had merely been an illusion that temporarily concealed the truth.

The truth of another war arriving.

Usually, Rurihime and Tamako, and sometimes Iwako, would be present in meeting. However, two of them were excluded from the meeting. Therefore, only Rurihime would be there.

Iwako's excuse was that she should not be moving about much given the current status of her pregnancy. Many said that she was so big that it must be twins.

It was decided that Tamako would personally look after her, and therefore be excluded from the meeting.

It was true that Tamako might have been willing to do this task, but it was clear that this was a lie.

It was even more obvious given that she was heard to be cursing her husband for locking her in.

"Do I not have a right to be there?" she protested viciously.

"…it is not just that." Kunihira pointed out. "It is because the effect that this might have…"

"I would not do anything…I would not even say anything. Therefore, please." At this, she actually knelt down in front of him, her head touching the ground. "Please…Kunihira-dono."

He might have granted her request if only she did not say the last bit. At this, he was to feel the jealousy in his heart increasing even more. Therefore, he found himself able to turn away and lock the door.

As a result, the only female there was Rurihime, but this was not strange. After all, it was Rurihime who has the highest position among all the women in the household.

Rurihime herself was actually quite curious about the said visitor. After all, he was and still is very important to both Tamako and Kunihira. In addition, he was also linked to their new visitors.

"Kunihira, what type of man is Kajiwara Kagetoki?" Hidehira asked that morning, as it would be some time before their visitor comes. "Perhaps you will actually answer the question now."

"Perhaps." Kunihira admitted. "But I did not lie. The teenager who was my best friend is very different from this military commander of the Genji. At that time, we were all very young and foolish, believing that life would always be good and happy…

"I think…" Kunihira said slowly. "I think what happens to Kagetoki would really depend on his situation. If allowed, he would just be a harmless person who works on his invention. However, the problem is that he is not allowed.

"Desperation is probably a key characteristic to his personality. Desperation actually makes him into a very capable man, because he is willing to do everything that he cans in order for something to finish. You have already heard about the naval battle with the Heike. (1)

"I am certain that he would be a dangerous enemy to Hiraizumi, as he would be very ruthless." Kunihira concluded.

"But what of Tamako-dono?" Yasuhira suddenly suggested. "Could that be to our advantage?"

"Yasuhira…that is not a good idea." Much to Yasuhira's surprise, his brother spoke very calmly, a contrast to the time when he had threatened her. "Not to mention Kagetoki, Tamako would never allow it. Perhaps in that way, she is like Kagetoki. Or maybe not as she might do the opposite."

Rurihime was not surprised at this possibility, yet she suddenly did not know what she ought to think…how she should react. Long ago, she learnt that she had to grow up by realising that people were selfish and would hurt others for their own goal.

She has even accepted that Yasuhira might do this with the hakuryuu-no-miko, but Tamako was another situation. After all, she has known Tamako for quite sometime.

Nor could she forget about the kindness the other had shown during her pregnancy.

Yet if she was forced to make a choice between them, then the answer would be very obvious.

However, she did not feel guilty for thinking so as she realise that Tamako would think in the exact same way.

She truly hoped that this would never be as this made her feel really bad. Yet she realised that she would still do so. Her mind was already made up.

Yet that was why she could not understand their visitor. How could he bear to be away from the one that he loved so? If it was her, she was sure that she would do all that she could in order to stay with Yasuhira.

But then, that was why Tamako was so bitter, as that was what she desire as well.

Rurihime was sure that Tamako would be asking her questions about what had happened and it seemed all the more likely that her husband would not say much about it. Therefore, she was determined to concentrate for Tamako's sake.

However, how do you describe someone? Rurihime was not sure. When Kagetoki entered, her immediate thought was that he seemed very grim.

He and Kunihira had once been great friends, there were times when she heard their relationship being described as 'best friends'. However, the two men now treated one another as if they were complete strangers

Kagetoki did look at the empty spot beside Kunihira for a brief seconds, but he then quickly turned away.

Perhaps that was all the indulgence that he would allow himself to have.

"Yoritomo-sama's terms are very simple." Kagetoki said quietly and without knowing why, Rurihime actually found herself shivering a little. "He wishes for the return of Minamoto no Kurou Yoshitsune, who needs to be punished."

"You know as well as most that Kurou-dono has done nothing wrong at all." Hidehira said sharply. "And even if I do hand him over, which I never will, Yoritomo would merely find another excuse to attack Hiraizumi. Therefore, I will let it play out now."

"Is that so? And this should be the answer that I take back to Yoritomo-sama?" Kagetoki said formally before he sighed and said. "Even though I already know this, I still rather that it would be a different answer."

"Do you think that all men would be cowardly like you?" Hidehira snapped.

His sons, however, were both silent. The elder one naturally knew the real reason, while the younger one was in deep thought because he was trying to make sense of what his brother had said and matched it to the one in front of them.

His brother made one thing clear: this man was not a coward because he was the type of man who would gain great courage due to great desperation. At the very least, he would not be pushed into this situation where he had to give his wife up. If what he felt was close to the folly of his brother, then it did not make sense.

"What is it that Kamakura-dono wants? Must he extend his reign to Oushuas well?" Hideihira continued.

"That person dreams of creating a new kingdom." Kagetoki said softly. "A kingdom that can finally have a lasting peace."

"And do you really believe that?" Kunihira asked. "Military commander…no, Kagetoki." At this, it was clear that this was a plea to the one who was once his best friend.

"I believe this, but I do not deny that many would be hurt in order for this to be achieved. However," it seemed that Kagetoki had decided to answer both part of the question. "I did not wish to be part of it."

Then he stood up.

"Kunihira-dono, there is no need for you to do what you did. I have made my choice too long ago and I do not intend to change it at all."

Then he was gone.

"Kunihira- " Hidehira began, but his son merely shook his head and said: "That is our own problem, chichiue." (2)

"Yasuhira-dono, do we just let him walk away like that?" Rurihime asked softly.

"He is not a guest. There is no need for us to escort him." Yasuhira replied.

The atmosphere where the 'guest' was received had become very chilling and it still remained quite cold despite the departure.

"…so there is no going back now." Yasuhira said grimly.

"I think the truth is that we could not have gone back since that day." Kunihira said and he was probably referring to his past, as well as how they have decided to allow Kurou to come here.

"Chichiue…mitachi," Yasuhira began very formally. "Surely we must win this battle. And you must know that we are at a disadvantage."

"Our forces are at a disadvantage but we do have the advantage of being the defenders." Hidehira said grimly. "One who has to defend what he might lose would always try much harder.

"It is not just to do with the number of people." Yasuhira began with great impatience. "Surely chichiue has heard of these stories."

"These are mere rumours that are spread for the sake of having this affect." Hidehira said with great impatience. "No matter what, these enemies are humans and are ordinary." (3)

"Even the two miko who are clearly blessed? Chichiue, have you not seen the ryuujin himself?"

"That is true, but this is this, that is that." Hidehira said simply.

"Mitachi, do you mean that you would only believe what you can see yourself?" Yasuhira said slowly. "But it will be too late by that time."

"Yasuhira, you will be the future leader of Hiraizumi, people would look to you and yet you are now acting in such a way! To believe in these silly rumours…"

"What if one of us has seen it?" Kunihira suddenly said, interrupting the possible fight between his father and brother.

"Have you actually- " his father began, but the sentence needed not to be finished due to the shook head.

"Not I, but Tamako." Kunihira said softly. "She…she told me that she has seen it with her own eyes- the being that protects Kamakura-dono."

"Is your seishitsu's words really to be trusted? She dislikes you and Hiraizumi. In addition, she is a Hōjō." Hidehira said very logically to a very illogical situation.

That was the problem.

"And what of her first husband then? No matter what, she would probably prefer him to win."

Kunihira became silent because this was actually something that he has been thinking about quite a bit. If Kagetoki wins then…

"This talk is ridiculous. We would not waste our time so!" Hidehira began. "There will be no more talk of this subject."

"Chichiue…" Yasuhira began once more, but was forced to stop due to his father.

"What about the forces? How would we fight?" Yasuhria said, and even though his voice sounded calm, Rurihime could tell that her husband was actually very angry.

"Kurou-dono would be the one in charge. I am certain that he would be able to lead us to victory." Hidehira said without any hesitation.

"That would probably be true, but…" At this, Yasuhira suddenly stood up. However, it was not to depart from the room. Instead, he actually did a very surprising thing that shocked everyone.

"Chichiue," Yasuhira began as he knelt down on both knees, and even let his forehead touch the ground. "Please allow me this one request."

Yasuhira rarely knelt down in front of anyone due to his pride and status, and this was beyond rare- it was almost impossible.

"What…what is it?" Hidehira was clearly very shocked even as he spoke.

However, he was calm enough to react upon hearing what Yasuhira wished- Yasuhira proposed that they would lure the others into a certain part during the fight.

"What folly is this?!" Hidehira yelled out. "Or is this because of these rumours again?"

"Yes." Yasuhira said and he has raised his head. After all, he was extremely proud. "This is the only way that we can win."

"Mitachi, if Yasuhira is actually doing this…" Kunihira began grimly. But then, he differed from their father by believing and understanding Tamako so much more.

"Mitachi." Rurihime said very softly, but her voice was unusually hard. "Do you actually think that Yasuhira-dono out of all people would actually do this just for the sake of mere rumours?"

Yet Hidehira still found all this hard to believe.

"Chichiue…I wish to protect Hiraizumi and Kurou." Yasuhira said grimly as he stood up. This time, it was for the sake of leaving the room. "Please remember this."

"Yasuhira- what do you mean?"

However, his heir was already gone.

"Yasuhira-dono!" Rurihime naturally excused herself in order to chase after her husband.

"…go and release Tamako-dono." Was what Yasuhira said to his wife.

"But Yasuhira-dono…" She protested again.

"I don't want to be bothered now." he said flatly.

He already foresaw all this, yet he seemed to have been foolish by wishing to believe otherwise. (4)

"…do you believe in the sacred lands?" he suddenly said to his wife even though he just told her to get out of his sight. Although Rurihime was not very sure whether he actually changed his mind about that since he quickly answered his own question. "It would probably be better if I don't." (5)

"Yasuhira-dono, just what is it that you wish to do?"

"What has to be done." Was the chilling answer.

* * *

Kagetoki almost wonder whether he had a liking for giving himself unnecessary trouble. He actually spent a whole night awake due to thinking of Tamako. Would he actually get to see her again? He has actually not seen her since that day.

How many years was that? He could still give the exact day even though he deliberately tried to lose count.

However, did he wish to see her? It was easy to say that he was doing the right thing when he could not see her. But if he could see her?

What would her expression be upon seeing him again? Sad? Angry?

At the very least, he knew that she would not be smiling. Yet it was her smile that brought him such joy.

What of that hair accessory? Would the blood he saw then be washed off?

The truth was that he wanted to see her, and yet was afraid at the possibility of seeing her. He wanted to see her so much, yet he knew that he really should not.

Either way, the decision was both bad and good, and he could not just focus on the good aspect as he once would. After all, he was no longer a young boy.

However, it seemed that he would not be able to meet up with her. The reason that they gave was clearly an excuse. What he would really like to know was what Tamako herself thought about it.

His horse was right outside with the men who had accompanied him. Their identity was quite clear so he was not that surprised at seeing the group that has gathered around, as well as the mummers that accompanied, many directed right at them.

He felt a bit guilty at meeting some of these people's eyes, as he would soon be harming them. For some of them, it might even be directly.

However…not all faces were actually unfamiliar.

"Aniue…"

"Kagetoki-san…"

He saw the faces of the ones that he betrayed and he then recalled the face of the one that he has not seen for such a long time. The face that had been streaked with tears.

Nor was it just tears…that look of pain at what he did.

But has he not already decided about what he would do?

He often wonders about what would have happened if he had chose to die in that battle.

What would happen if he faced this fate now?

"Aniue!" Saku began angrily.

"I am merely the military commander of the Genji, that is all." Kagetoki said softly.

That was all, that was all.

He would not turn around.

Despite the answers that he would take back tomorrow being very obvious, he was still allowed to stay in the temple as it was decided- which was what the formality required- and he would then depart tomorrow morning with the final answer.

But the answer was too obvious- Hidehira would choose to fight.

Hiraizumi was a very beautiful place and it was actually a place that he has wanted to come to for a very long time. However, the result was nothing like what he had imagined of at all.

He once dreamt that he and Tamako would be able to come to Hiraizumi together and Kunihira would have been the very welcoming host. They would then have been able to experience the time that they had in Kyo once again.

Yet that was something impossible. What was gone could never come back. In addition, he suspected that what had made the times so precious was the fact that he was very ignorant and freed from any responsibility.

If he closed his eyes and pretend, then the illusions could become very clear.

* * *

Kagetoki could recall how there has been times when he actually stayed up the whole night in order to work on his invention. The result of the next day would always be quite disastrous as he would barely manage to remain awake.

These days did decrease due to Tamako being his wife as she would stop him. After all, not even he could- in the most extreme cases- concentrate on his work when she placed herself right in his lap and declared out that she would only move if he is willing to go to sleep. In the even more extreme cases she has even opened her kimono.

Yet why was he still awake now? He had not slept for almost a whole day. He wanted to sleep so much so that he could evade what was causing him to lose sleep.

He was staying in one of the many temples in Hiraizumi and he recollected what Kunihira once said about his father- Hidehira had wanted to create a sacred land on earth.

It seemed a word that was rather distant from him.

If he prayed, would these words be heard? He knew that this was merely a foolish dream. After all, one who did not repent could not ask for forgiveness.

He did feel very bad about the killing of these people, yet he would never alter his actions.

Was that why he felt that the eyes that looked at him were very cold? (6)

That would be asking too much. However, would they grant a less greedy request?

"I want to see Tamako again." He whispered very softly. "Just once, just for a brief moment."

He was too used to his words being unanswered.

When he first heard the footsteps, his immediate reaction was to raise his gun. After all, it was not impossible that someone would wish him harm to try and do so.

"…will you shoot me then? But then, you have already broken my heart."

"Ta…Tamako?" one should never drop their weapon, but his body simply reacted extremely fast. The gun was dropped as he immediately pulled her into his arms.

For a while, he simply just held her in his arms. He did not say anything because words would break this dream.

Yet he could not pretend that time would stand still for him.

"…you shouldn't be here." He finally said. But was not his actions a complete contrast to his words?

"I just wanted to see you…I have to see you!" like him, she could give the exact amount of time that they had been parted.

"Is that wound…" he began a bit nervously.

"It has healed, but a scar is still there." she said simply.

They were almost staring at each other as it has been such a long time since they last saw each other.

"I cannot apologise, Tamako, as I would make that same decision again." He said slowly. "But why…"

'Why what?"

"Why is it that you still love me despite all this? Do you not know what I have done? I have…killed so many just to live. I killed them in a way more cowardly then how I killed your brother." He whispered. "It really would be so much easier if you would hate me."

At this, she answered by action.

A slap was delivered before she hissed the following: "Do not insult me, Kagetoki. Do you think that my love for you is so pathetic?"

"I know, but I still…I really think that you would be much happier if you are with Kunihira." Kagetoki said honestly. "You are…safe here in Hiraizumi, and Kunihira is a much braver and stronger man then me. He would be able to do what I have not been able to do. I don't even think that I have the right to touch you…these hands are covered with blood."

"Yet what I want the most is to be with you! To be beside you!" Tamako whispered. "That would be enough. Kagetoki, why do you push me away again and again? I can accept it all."

He was actually touching her hair, rather, the end of her hair.

"…I like you with long hair, Tamako." He said very softly. "I did not tell you as I did not want you to have a lot of trouble due to you growing your hair."

It was something that was absolutely ridiculous, but he still said it. Much to his surprise, she actually answered him.

"If you will be there to see it, then I will grow it for you." She whispered. "Just as I would smile all the time if you are there. Kagetoki…please take me with you."

"That is impossible." He said this very quickly as it was something very dangerous. He might really be tempted to do so. "You are married to Kunihira now and you know that I divorced you."

"But what would it matter? Whether I am there would not matter at all. So why can't I be with you? Wouldn't you be much happier if I am there beside you?"

"I cannot deny that but I cannot allow it. I should not have let you come here." At this, Kagetoki made a move to push her away, but she actually grabbed him by both hands.

"If you love me and wish for me to be happy, then why do you not try to think about what I want instead of doing what you want?"

"Because I am selfish, and because you would not be able to be happy by my side." He said simply. "I am a coward who is unable to protect you. Yes…I know that you are unhappy but I can accept this because you being alive is much more important. If you die…I simply cannot have that."

"Even so…this is not for you to decide." She said angrily.

"…Tamako." All of a sudden, his voice was rather chilling. This made her recollect the day when they last met- when he told her that he would divorce her. "Do you really think that Yoritomo-sama and Masako-sama would regard our marriage as a bad thing? Do you really think that even if it would be seen as a bad thing, they would feel that they need to order me to divorce you?"

"Kagetoki…what are you suggesting?"

"It was I who told them to let me divorce you because I know that I must at least save you. Therefore," he finished this with a bitter smile, "This is how strong my resolution is."

This completely stunned Tamako and he used this opportunity to embrace her gently again. "Therefore… be happy with Kunihira."

"Do not ask me to do the impossible!" she yelled out. "Kagetoki…why is it that you do this?!"

"Because that is the only way that I can protect those that I care about." He said bitterly before he picked up her fallen cloak and draped it over her. However, this turned out to be a mistake as it made both of them recollect past memories.

It had been a rainy day and she had been buying something for the house. Upon seeing him by chance, she quickly ran to him, causing the cloak to fall.

"I am happy that you are this glad to see me, but this is not good for you." he had chided her gently as he picked up the cloak and then put it on fro her.

"Kagetoki…" Tamako's voice was very grim and her voice has become cold as well. "If you die then I will tell your sister about all that you have done. Therefore…don't die."

"The truth is that I am a coward who wishes to live." He said very bitterly. "After all, this is what caused me to agree. I didn't want to die as I wanted to live…even if it would be such a life."

"Must it continue like this?" She whispered. "Kagetoki…please."

If he told her to come then he knew that she would do so. A part of him did want to give in and accept this, yet he knew that he must not do this.

"There is no other way."

"Would you never be freed?"

"How? I have agreed to become Yoritomo-sama's servant. The truth is that I truly believe that he would be able to create a peaceful world. However…the lands remaining peaceful require work. Besides…" at this he shook his head in despair. "I have never been brave. I don't think I could have fought against Yoritomo-sama and Masako-sama anyway…even if Masako-sama didn't become this."

"…but what if you could somehow be freed?"

"Tamako, you told me that you cannot do the impossible. I will say the same thing to you."

He kissed her but it was a very different type of kiss. After all, he was no longer the young boy who realised that what he felt for his fiancée was love, or the young bridegroom about to sleep with the one that was finally his bride, nor was he the husband who took comfort in knowing that his wife would always be there.

He was now the one who she was once married to, and one who felt that he might really just never get to see her again.

The kiss was very bitter, as they could taste their tears.

Kagetoki knew that he had to be the one to let her go as she would cling onto him. If he could, then he would have her always do so. However, he had to let her go.

Yet he could not. He just couldn't! This might be the very last time he could hold her or perhaps even the last time that he was able to see her.

But who was it that caused this?

"Tamako, what would you do if I die in this battle?" he suddenly said. "What would you yourself do?"

"I will follow you, so make sure that you don't die if you don't want me to die." She said bluntly.

"How is it that you know exactly what I was thinking?" he laughed, but she thought that the laughter sounded more like weeping.

"If I knew what you were thinking then I would never have let it happen." She whispered as she touched his face. "You…you talk a lot but say very little."

Letting her go was hard, but he has done this before.

"Goodbye," he whispered as he pushed her away. Once more, he turned away and walked away from the woman that he loved.

* * *

**_Note:_**

_(1) I think that is one of the saddest bits about Kagetoki. If he was totally useless, then things might be easier for him. But the problem is that he is the opposite, he has the capability of doing really well. Yet he is not strong enough to break free. Therefore, he is in this really bad cycle._

_(2) What Kagetoki means it that there is no need for Kunihira to prevent Tamako from seeing him, because he has made his decision of divorcing her, and he would not revoke it. Therefore, Kunihira did not need to fear that Tamako would be gone._

_(3) This is something that Hideihira actually says in the game and I feel that it summarises his view and belief quite well._

_(4) Obviously, in the actual game, Yasuhira did not kneel down in front of his father, but I feel that this would not be out of character. I feel that Yasuhira might do this, because he really is not a bad man. Therefore, he would try to see if there is a chance of changing this._

_(5) By this, Yasuhira is showing the idea how he already does not believe that he could not go there. That is why I find Yasuhira's fate super sad, he obviously believes in this idea of the sacred lands, yet he lives and dies with the knowledge that he is not able to go there._

_(6) The situation is that Kagetoki is in a temple and he has decided to pray, therefore, he is in a room where there are many statues. However, because he feels that he is not repenting himself, he feels that the gods might not forgive him. Therefore, the statues of the gods are looking at him coldly, as he felt that they look at him in contempt. _


	31. Chapter 30

**Chapter Thirty**

_"A wind blows through the lapis coloured sky_

_I think of the far away tomorrow_

_This body of deep sin is enveloped by a light spring mist_

_Wild flowers that fall on this black cloak_

_Will it still seek to decorate this body that cannot wish for the sacred land?"_

_~ (瞑目の白き残像)_

Kagetoki already prepared himself for hostility, but the actual result of what happened when he returned still stunned him. At the lightest, people cursed him; those who were more extreme would spit at his direction. The least restraint ones would have attacked him had they been allowed.

The reason soon became rather obvious.

"We are blamed for attacking Hidehira-dono?" Kagetoki repeated this and he then chuckled bitterly before he reassured these men by saying this: "Do not worry- this is merely their attempt of making their people blame us even more. It is merely an act."

This time, he could actually say this as the truth. His men were reassuring each other that they would never stoop so low, but this part was no longer true. Kagetoki was fully aware of just what Yoritomo was capable of.

After all, he himself has done many of these things.

"…he was injured very badly and only managed to defend himself from the assassin successfully due to Shirogane?" Kagetoki summarised the situation thoughtfully. "And this Shirogane is Yasuhira-dono's servant…"

He did not know what Yasuhira was like and he did not wish to believe that something like this could occur. However, what other explanation was there? He doubt that the men with him were capable of doing it, partly due to their moral, but also due to practicality. There were no sign of anyone having left.

The most possible person was him, and he naturally knew that he did not do it. Although it is to convince others of this that made it hard.

Once more, Kagetoki entered the room and found the same set of people as he did yesterday. A main difference, however, was that the absence of Tamako was voluntary this time. She had made her decision and resolution.

Hidehira was naturally at the very centre and his wounds were concealed by bandages and clothes, but his stance actually showed the severity of the injury. His expression was very strange and due to a brief moment of inability, Kagetoki realised one thing.

Hidehira was not good at lying.

Yasuhira looked as he always did, but his wife was very different. When she could, she would turn to her husband. She was almost staring at him and she was also extremely agitated. Her gaze would turn to Kagetoki now and then and they were filled with uncertainty.

Kunihira's reaction was very easy.

"Kagetoki…it was not you, was it? Surely you would not go this far." This was really a plea. (1)

"It would be better for you if I was the one." Kagetoki stated the truth very bluntly.

"…you are lying…you must be." Rurihime whispered and her voice was actually wavering. "Surely you must be…"

"I cannot deny that I am capable of doing such a thing as I have done so before. That is the type of man that I have become." He admitted. "However, I did not do it."

This then raised the question that everyone was thinking: then why was Shirogane there?

"Even though I doubt that anyone would believe me. However, this is the truth."

"…please be lying…" Rurihime muttered.

"I swear that I am not." He then added cynically. "If it was me, then the situation would probably be very different."

Hidehira would be dead, as only the assassin or the prey would be allowed to live.

She did not leave the room, but she bent down her head and she remained like that. At this, Kagetoki actually pitied her.

He felt that those he cared about were like this too.

However, Tamako accepted this as the truth and she could accept his presence despite this. At this, he suddenly smiled, she really loved him so much.

To him, their relationship had been simple and ordinary. Nothing dramatic has happened. Though their life together was very happy, no one else would have said that it was exciting.

Yet he now realised that Tamako's love for him was very deep and it was actually far from simple as it was rather extreme. She could accept all that he has done and still wish to be with him.

The battle would be very difficult as Yasuhira was his opponent, and it seemed that Yasuhira would be a very difficult one. After all, the other was ruthless enough to go to such a length in order to protect what was important to him.

Perhaps, Kagetoki thought, Yasuhira would be able to do what he has long regarded as impossible. Would that actually be the very best situation? Yet he did not believe that such a miracle could actually happen. Even if it did…would it really change a thing? Was it really just due to the unnatural divine being?

"Yasuhira-dono, you really are different from your brother." Kagetoki said softly. "That is probably why he was my friend while you are my enemy."

A silence was to descend in the room upon Kagetoki's departure. Silence happened as they know that it would be broken, yet who would be the one who does so?

"…Yasuhira," Hidehira finally spoke and he was extremely grim. "You will be the one in charge."

"I will make sure that we win." Yasuhira said in equal grimness. "This is a battle that we cannot afford to lose."

"Yasuhira, you will probably be regarded as a good leader, but as an individual person…" the words were unfinished because even now, he did not wish to admit the truth. Perhaps his son's accusation was right.

Yet to think that that his own son was capable of doing such a thing…

"Yasuhira, what is it that you are actually not willing to do?" he continued.

"Chichiue, would you be willing to let many people die in order for one person to be saved? That is my answer." Upon this, Yasuhira then stood up. "I have much preparation to do."

"Yes, we cannot lose this battle." Hidehira said, yet his words were almost mechanical. "Kunihira, you better go with your brother."

"But Chichiue…"

"He is your brother and he is the one who will be in charge as he is the heir. Have you not always decided that this is so?"

"But chichiue, what he has done…do you just accept this!" Kunihira yelled out.

Despite everything, he knew that Kagetoki did not lie. But that made the truth more horrifying. If it was not Kagetoki then there could only be one reason for Shirogane being there with his weapons.

"Kunihira, you were not there so…" Hidehira began, but this merely made his eldest son laugh very bitterly.

"Yes, chichiue, I was not there. Yet I still knew what happened." He whispered brokenly. "Just as I knew about what Kagetoki did to Tamako on that day. This…how do I accept this?"

He would be upset if it had been Kagetoki that tried to kill his father, but it would only be sad. After all, Kagetoki was also an enemy who was willing to hurt them as they were at war with one another. But Yasuhira was his own brother and Hidehira was their father!

The worst bit was that Yasuhira did not even do this act himself. (2)

"And is he so different from everyone else, Kunihira-dono? Yasuhira-dono is a bit more extreme then everyone else, but that is all."

"Tamako, what are you…" Kunihira began but she quickly waved his protest aside as she walked pass him so that she sat right in front of Hidehira. By this time, Yasuhira has long gone. However, unlike usual, Rurihime did not follow her husband. In fact, she continued to stare at the spot in front of her. Just as she had been when Kagetoki was still here.

"I know that my words would not be believed but I will say it because I don't think that it is fair for Kagetoki to bear any extra wound." She declared firmly. "It was not Kagetoki who did this. At the very least, you should know this, Kunihira-dono."

"No, at the very least I should not be the one who hears this!" Kunihira snapped.

"But to me, what you would think of Kagetoki is more important then what you feel at realising the truth of what your brother did." Tamako said coldly.

"You are a cruel woman, Hōjō Tamako." Hidehira said and this was actually his way of admitting the truth of what had happened.

"I think I feel as if nothing matters because that person pushed me away once again." Tamako said simply. "But mitachi…did you really know your own son?"

"Why did you not believe him before?" Rurihime finally spoke, but she did not lift her head. "That way…Yasuhira-dono would not need to have done this."

"I am still not certain about this tale but I do know that I need to give Yasuhira what he wishes if he is willing to go this far." Hidehira explained. "But…"

"It is true." Tamako said firmly before she sighed. "Yasuhira-dono…I do not deny that what he did is a great sin but I think I can understand because I am not that different. Hōjō Masako is my sister and mitai-sama does still contain part of my sister…"

"Tamako, what are you talking about?" Kunihira asked sharply.

"People are still the same, only that some of us are much more extreme." Tamako said slowly. "We have what we regarded as very important and we will hurt others to preserve that thing. The only difference about your brother is that he is willing and capable of going into such an extreme depth." a very sad smile suddenly appeared: "It seems that I am becoming like this due to too many people around me being like that."

Probably the two that was the most precious to her.

Hōjō Masako- her dear aneue.

Kajiwara Kagetoki- her beloved husband.

"But even so…" Kunihira began.

"And what do you plan to do then, Kunihira-dono?" Tamako asked coldly.

"I do not know…and that is what is so horrifying."

As Kagetoki had said, it was better had he been the one who did it, yet his first reaction was a fervent hope that it was not Kagetoki that did this as he felt that their friendship would finally be broken.

"What is it that you are here for?" Hidehira demanded.

"I heard that Kagetoki is blamed for attacking you and I wish to see what happened." Tamako said before she admitted. "However, my main purpose is probably to talk to Yasuhira-dono."

After all, she has decided. She was not as bad as Yasuhira as the situation was very different, but she could not deny that she would be harming her own sister.

Even though Yasuhira claimed that he had much to do, he actually did not return to his office. Instead, he went to the temple that his grandfather had built.

Once, when he was only a small child, as that was before he went to Kyo, his father had taken him to that temple. He had pointed out that this was the temple built by his own father and therefore Yasuhira's paternal grandfather- who Yasuhira has never seen. Those before them had made this place great and it was now their duty as the future rulers to do so.

"They dreamt of making this Hiraizumi into the sacred land. They began the task, and we will finish it." his father had said.

"The sacred land, is it?" Yasuhira said softly. "Chichiue…can I expect myself to go there after what I did? After what I would do."

He had decided that he would do whatever he could to protect Hiraizumi as well as Kurou. He would stain these hands if it meant that he could achieve his goals.

No, these hands were already stained.

In order for his plans to be carried out- he had to be the one in charge. The one in control. However, his father would not allow this as he was not able to believe the truth. Therefore, he decided that the only way he could take this was by eliminating the one who prevented this.

Also, the power of the army and the role of leadership would automatically be given to him.

Luckily, he was able to gain this without losing his father. This was actually the best solution, yet he had been prepared for his own father to be killed and blamed it on Yoritomo to gain more advantage in the war.

He thought of committing this sin himself, but realised that he was actually unable to do it. He would definitely hesitate and his father, despite his age, was not someone one who could win against if they hesitated. (3)

However, it seemed that Shirogane hesitated too.

Shirogane…his servant has actually become rather different then he was before with the arrival and company of the hakuryuu-no-miko. Perhaps he actually made a mistake in making Shirogane interacting with them.

Or was it simply because this was the power of the hakuryuu-no-miko? To be an existence that would draw such feelings from those around her. Not to mention the dragon god and the hachiyo, the other miko was surprisingly affectionate. After all, she even chooses to go with her instead of staying with her own brother.

The first kokuryuu-no-miko was lost due to history not being all powerful, while the second priestess admitted to a hostility towards the other only when the other was gone.

The third kokuryuu-no-miko…Yasuhira has found out about her past and he was certainly rather surprised by it. The girl who now has nothing could be so loving to the one who has everything.

So perhaps he should not be surprised at how his servant was drawn to the hakuryuu-no-miko. After all, she did so to all these others. Making them her servants since they followed her here.

Kurou was a special case as he was the one who had his feelings returned, but the others were here due to the miko alone. The two from the Heike; the bettou from Kumano who vowed to be neutral; and even a member of the oni-no-ichizuku. Perhaps for that alone, he had to acknowledge Kagetoki as a man not to be underestimated. (4)

"But Nozomi-dono is really brave." Rurihime had said. "She fought with them."

"Brave?" a sneer had been his reply. "Is one brave when they have people around her that constantly tell her that she is not wrong? That she can do no wrong?" (5)

The hakuryuu-no-miko would be his tool as the kokuryuu-no-miko was no longer useful. However, she was Kagetoki's sister so this made her useful in another way. Of course, Kurou was not going to be very happy with him, but that could not be helped.

"Yasuhira-sama, your brother and his wife wishes to see you." one of the monks in the temple informed him.

He was going to say no, as he could predict his brother's reaction well enough. However, the additional factor of his sister-in-law made a difference.

His brother was clearly very agitated, which was a very good contrast to his wife. However, Yasuhira felt that it was not really calmness, but more a state of indifference.

"…I do not wish to talk to you." Kunihira said bluntly before he went to stand some distance away from them.

"He is here with me as he is afraid at what you might do." Tamako said simply. "And we all know what you are capable of, Yasuhira-dono."

"…and do you know the truth then, Tamako-dono?"

"Do you truly have no other way, Yasuhira-dono? That is what I wish to know." She said softly. "After all, this already shows how far you are able to go."

"There is no other way." This was said without any hesitation.

"And what is it that you wish to protect, Yasuhira-dono? Hiraizumi or Kurou-dono?"

"To me, these two things are one." he said steadily before he frowned. "What do you want, Tamako-dono? Why do you ask these foolish questions?" (6)

"Because I am deciding whether I should side with you, Yasuhira-dono."

"Side with me?" At this, he laughed dryly. "I do not think that you have enough ability to claim such a thing."

"…I made a promise to…mitai-sama long ago, the promise of keeping the name that she had before she and aneue became one person. Perhaps I will still be keeping it as I was merely referring to Kagetoki on that day. Names are very powerful…do you not agree, Yasuhira-dono? After all, she had not been willing to tell me even though I clearly had little ability."

"…you know the real identity of that being then?" Yasuhira was so surprised that he did not bother to control his voice.

"Mitai-sama still regards me as her sister, but I wish for her to be gone and I think you are the only one who can so do. That is why." She declared out. "I will tell you her name…the name of the goddess."

"You are foolish, Tamako-dono. This will not help you much." Yasuhira said before he quickly added. "Yet I do wish to know the name."

"I do not know what will happen but I know that you are the only one who can cause things to change, as I believe that things will change if that being is gone. Will it be better? I do not know. Yet I do not think that it could be worse."

Then she whispered out the name to Yasuhira- and only he heard it.

"Dakiniten. That is the other half of Mitai-sama."

"I will destroy it." Yasuhira said firmly.

Kunihira had not been contributing in the conversation, but he still absorbed every word exchanged- with the exception of the name. Even though he knew that he say would not matter, he still spoke.

"Yasuhira, even if you managed to protect…to save Hiraizumi, do you think that you can ever be forgiven?" he said darkly.

"…forgiveness?" Yasuhira said the word with a very bitter expression. "I do not seek anyone's forgiveness. Not yours, aniue, or chichiue's. Not Kurou's, or even the gods." (7)

"Are you not like Hidehira-dono then?" Tamako said. "Do you not wish to go to the sacred lands? Your father calls me a cruel woman, but at the very least I am not sinful."

"Yet you are prepared to do what you must, Tamako-dono, just like your sister. Therefore, there is no need for me to answer you question."

"You remind me of Kagetoki as you are like him in that way." At this, she actually did a very surprising thing: she took his hand and raised it up. "You would stain this hand for the ones you wish to protect…for the ones that you have chosen. Yet the ironic thing is that not only do they not know it, they might even curse you for it." (8)

For the first time since the revealing of what he did, he saw understanding in someone's eyes. However, this was something that he received with great distaste as he shook her hold off.

In addition to understanding, he saw pity.

Without knowing why, he thought of his wife. He did not really know what her expression was like as she seemed to have gained a new habit of staring at the floor. However, the brief moment when he saw her expression…

It was not just disbelieve, there might have even been fear in them.

Logical enough, he thought bitterly. If one was willing to kill their father, then what else would they hesitate in?

* * *

When Tamako and Kunihira left, Rurihime finally raised her head. She was not crying, but it was clear that she would as soon as she was alone.

"Mitachi...I think I better go as well." she muttered. She only looked at Hidehira for a brief moment as her gaze slipped away as she was barely managing in controlling herself.

"Rurihime…you are Yasuhira's wife so please…remain with him." Hidehira said in a voice that was very unlike his due to the volume and the uncertainty.

"I do not understand mitachi at all." Rurihime said brokenly. "You out of all people should know what your son is like. Whether I am there or not would not matter to Yasuhira-dono at all!"

"Yet I believe that you are…different." Hidehira said. "I do not understand myself, but I wish that you would remain beside him."

However, Rurihime left without giving him an answer. Not that he expected an answer…he could not demand an answer.

Rurihime found herself walking to the one person whom she knew could make her feel slightly comforted even in this situation: her son. She actually surprised herself by remaining composed as she walked to the nursery and then dismissed everyone else.

Yoshihira would be one year old soon, and he was now able to recognise his mother and even greeted her with 'haha', although her attempt of getting her to say 'chichi' remained unsuccessful.

"My little one, please don't grow up to be like your father." She whispered as she picked him up.

At this, she finally began to cry.

She knew that her husband could be ruthless in protecting what was important to him, yet she never suspected that he could go this far.

Yet a small part of her could not help but to wonder whether she was really upset due to the one he was doing it all for. Was it due to jealousy as well?

It seemed that once she started crying, she was not able to stop. However, what was it that she was crying for? Was it for Hidehira who has such a son? No, she was definitely crying for herself. Was it because this man was her husband?

Or was it disgust at herself for loving such a man?

Yes, she still loved her husband despite what he did. Yet she could not deny that she was suddenly very afraid of her husband. Would he be willing to kill her if this was necessary?

He would, she thought without any hesitation. Yet she realised that she was willing to be killed by him if this meant that she would finally be able to be of some use to him at last. However, the bitter thing was that she probably could not even do that for him.

How was it that she could still love this man in such a crazy way? She regarded his actions as horrifying, yet she has accepted it. If he would stretch out his hand to her, then she was sure that she would let him touch her.

It seemed that Tamako's words were right. Yasuhira was the most important to her so she could accept others being hurt for his sake. No matter what, she would stand beside him.

Even this?" She said out aloud.

Yet her husband would only do this if he had no other choice. However, this did not mean that such a sin was acceptable. Even if you had no other choice, some things would still be wrong.

She felt that she could understand what Saku must have felt at seeing what her brother did. However, what could be a greater sin then attempting to kill your own father?

"Yoshihira, what is it that we should do?" she whispered.

Yet she has decided that she would stay with him. Despite what Yasuhira has done, she did not wish to leave him.

Does this not mean that she was as bad as him?

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) To be honest I feel that Kagetoki and Kunihira's relationship is much deeper then Yasuhira and Kunihira, because by this, Kunihira is actually showing that if he has to choose, then he would actually choose Kagetoki_

_(2) Kunihira is probably quite a samurai person with the idea of honour._

_(3) I know that this is probably my creative liberty here, but I really feel that the reason that Yasuhira did __not do it himself, is because he was unable to. I like to think so. _

_(4) I feel that Yasuhira did have a point here. First of all, even though Hinoe is only here as Hinoe, not as the bettou, there is no denying that by being here, he is still making a statement. In this case, Kagetoki is not here because of Tamako, but I feel that even in the actual game, this is quite amazing. He actually chooses to still serve Yoritomo. To be honest, I am actually quite glad that Yasuhira is not a romance-able character because otherwise it just seems a bit too much. This level of Mary Sue._

_(5) I feel that this is so partly due to Hakuryuu. I remember in the expansion- the labyrinth. When she is first unable to fight, we have Hakuryuu immediately telling her that this is okay. Where as Karin, was alone. In addition, even though Nozomi does fight, this is actually yet another example. She wanted to fight and so sensei immediately shows up and teaches her. She is constantly receiving aid. However, I find it highly ironic that Nozomi is regarded as really brave, when it is actually Karin. Unlike Karin, Nozomi has never really been in a situation where she is alone, because someone is always there._

_(6) That is what I felt. I feel that what Yasuhira feels toward Hiraizumi is very clear, but yet this is all due to Kurou as well. Because if he does not care for Kurou, then I think he might just tell Kurou and the rest to get out of Hiraizumi. However, I feel that they are at the same level._

_(7) I really like the bit in the game when Yasuhira says this, upon the PC telling him that she would not forgive him, Yasuhira would tell her that he never asked or expected her forgiveness, in fact, he never asked for anyone's forgiveness, then, he would mention his famous 'I also have what I want to protect' speech._

_(8) There really is a very similar parallel with Kagetoki, although with Yasuhira it is for Kurou and the people of Hiraizumi, but we see that Kurou actually yells at Yasuhira, and many people condemned him. In fact, that is what lead to his death._


	32. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty One**

_"Closing my eyes to return to the state of purity_

_And then opening my eyes again_

_The snow drifting silently_

_A sorrowful blue sky."_

_~ (蒼天に浚さらいの風よ吹け)_

The ouyasha has been completed and this would be the stage where everything would be played out. Of course, the scenes could appear elsewhere, but victory for Hiraizumi would only happen if it took place here.

"I will win…I have to win." He whispered as he surveyed the completed work.

For the sake of protecting this place and his friend.

It didn't matter that no one would accept his actions. It would be enough as long as he achieved what he wanted.

Initially, this place would have trapped some of Dakiniten's powers and increase his power even more. However, the situation was now very different as he knew the real name of the divine being.

Instead of just increasing the chance of victory greatly, he might be able to gain a victory. Therefore, he could not say that he would have done anything differently.

The gekirin was also part of his plan- when he combined it with the ouyasha, it would b able to have a great power. It would naturally not be as powerful as it would be in the hand of the priestess, but he could still make it rather powerful.

The ideal situation was for Nozomi to work with him, but he knew that this was impossible. After all, those who did not have the blessing of the gods would always regard the ones who have the blessing as not deserving or not utilising it.

Nozomi would never give it to him due to how he would use it, but he must use it that way. Men would die in war, so why was one form of death more acceptable or despicable? Perhaps his sister-in-law was right: he was quite like the military commander of the Genji.

He needed the gekirin…he needed to get it very soon. After all, the others would soon suspect what was going on due to his father, who was in a state of slight seclusion due to his inability of acting.

It was Yasuhira that was the leader, but it was still very strange that Hidehira would be in seclusion. Therefore, he had to get the gekirin very quick.

Trying to negotiate with the miko and her hachiyo was out of the question, but he actually considered about whether Kurou would help. Even though there was still a naïveté around the other, the other was still much more knowledgeable then a girl like Nozomi. After all, Kurou would at least understand that there were times when one had to fight.

However, it seemed that Kurou was clearly on the priestess' side. At this, Yasuhira chuckled mirthlessly. It was that same ridiculous emotion he saw with his brother and his two wives.

Then it seemed that he had no choice other then to take it by force.

However, this was not that easy. Just as the Hakuryuu-no-miko extended her conquest to his father, many of Hiraizumi's people seemed to have been charmed by her. Yet it was very ironic as she was part of the cause of trouble that would soon come. Many men said that they would defend both her and Kurou, yet failed to realise that they only needed to do so due to these two being the cause.

Just take it by force was out of the question and it was probably not possible to steal it.

It would be taken by force, yet there has to be a certain degree of privacy. Once that was done, things would be easier. It would be necessary to imprison the miko since she would probably create a scene. Therefore, it would be necessary for him to imprison the hachiyo too as they would surely object to this.

However, the first thing was getting the gekirin.

He could ask Shirogane to do so. It seemed that the men around her were actually fond of this type of behaviour that, at the most polite way, could be described as a bit too open and friendly.

Yes, the miko would trust Shirogane enough to come here and that would make things easier. However, he was not sure if Shirogane was as useful as he once thought. After all, the other did hesitate and failed the task. He was lucky that his father chose to handle it this way.

This was a very important factor against using Shirogane as he greatly disliked the idea of leaving things to chance.

He glanced at the personal servant near him briefly- even though Shirogane's expression was rather bland right now, it often changed when Nozomi was involved.

No, Shirogane was too risky.

Tamako was certainly capable enough but he was sure that the sudden invitation from her would be too suspicious. After all, Nozomi was not bad to the stage that she would regard herself as that popular. After all, Tamako made her dislike pretty clear.

As for his other sister-in-law, to even think of that idea was stupid.

That then left only one possibility: his wife.

He has not visited her since that day and that was partly due to him being very busy. The other reason was that there was no point in doing so due to her current state. She seemed to spend all these times crying so what was the point of going if he was not going to comfort her?

That, was something that he would never do.

However, he now has a purpose with her.

Yasuhira actually thought about whether he should get her cooperation by manipulating her. This would not be hard- all he would need to do was to say some of the foolishness that she was eager to hear from the one that she loved- which happened to be him.

Once he did that, she would probably really do anything for him, even letting him kill her if that was necessary. (1)

However, he decided against it. Was it because he felt that this was not necessary? Or was it because he did not want to make their relationship into an illusion due to his dislike for pretence.

These two were the only reasons that he could think of. The only reasons that he would admit.

His wife would be the one who could do this role the best, so he would assign it to her.

Would she do it still? After all, the situation between them has changed. Once who was not in a position like that could never understand the choice made by those who are.

He decided that he would observe her reaction first, and then do what was necessary.

It was not unusual to find her as she was in the nursery with their son. Much to his surprise, he actually noticed the change in her behaviour. She did not tell the child about the father's arrival and tried to make him say 'chichiue'.

"If Yasuhira-dono wishes to talk to me, then I will leave Yoshihira here and go to my room." Rurihime said as she walked toward the cradle.

"This is not going to make any difference, and I do not have that much time." he said bluntly.

"Yet he might still remember all this." Rurihiem said firmly and she actually carried out the action that she said she was going to do. As a result, they did not manage to talk until some time later, when they were in her room again.

"Rurihime, you once said that if you could be of use to me, then you will as you wish to be able to do something for me." he began very steadily. "You did agree to do it even if the thing is cruel…even if it is an act of betrayal."

She was looking at him but her gaze was not easy to read at all, as they have changed too much. At times they were confused, while at other times they would be very calm. Fear would appear only to disappear.

Her answer was a laugh.

"Yasuhira-dono once said that my head is not a mere decoration and I have said that it was you who forced me to use it. However, I think there is something wrong with my head." Rurihime said softly. "Despite what you have done, my answer is still the same. But Yasuhira-dono, is my answer so predictable, as you are perfectly willing to demand this answer from me."

"If I try to coax you into doing it, wouldn't you be suspicious?" this was another reasonable reason.

Once again, she laughed. However, the laughter remained unpleasant.

"Probably…no, definitely. I think I might even be scared. However, what is it that Yasuhira-dono wants?"

Despite her words, the way that she actually bit her nails and even part of her fingers when he told her of her task showed that she was still very different from Tamako.

"This is not a betrayal because your loyalty is to me." he added. "I am your husband, as well as the leader."

"But Yasuhira-dono, could I at the very least try to persuade the hakuryuu-no-miko?" she asked- almost begged.

"It is pointless. But if you wish to waste your time then you can."

* * *

When Rurihime appeared to talk to Nozomi, she was a bit pale and seemed rather sad. However, this was not surprising given what had happened lately.

"Mitachi is well enough, but he has not made a complete recovery." She said softly and had Benkei been there, he would have pointed out that this was rather unnatural.

"But are you alright? You do not look very well." Nozomi said. "Do you wish to take a rest?"

At this, Rurihime smiled. However, her smile was very sad.

"You are a kind person, but maybe you are too kind." She said softly. "Maybe you are a bit like Kurou-dono too. In this world, people are very selfish."

She was selfish too. The truth was that she was actually quite fond of Nozomi- she would even like to describe the other as a friend. However, she would hurt this person for the sake of Yasuhira.

"I am troubled, that is true." Rurihime said. "Would you talk with me? However, not here. I do not wish for this to be overheard."

"I will come as well." Saku volunteered. "It is too dangerous even here, especially after what has happened."

"Shirogane is waiting outside." Rurihime pointed out, although she then smiled very sweetly. "But I will be very glad of Saku-dono's company."

After all, Yasuhira did tell her that she needed to get both of them.

"But Rurihime-san, what is wrong?" Nozomi asked even as they began to walk. Shirogane had gave them a bow and only followed them when there were some distances between them. At this, Nozomi then expressed a desire for the other to join them.

"Miko-sama, please do not demand me to act in such a shameless way." Shirogane whispered even as he knelt down. "Even though this is a great honour and kindness, this is impossible."

"But- " at this, Nozomi turned to the other two. Saku was patient due to understanding why Nozomi would think so, but Rurihime was completely puzzled.

"He is a servant, so he naturally should walk behind us." She said upon Nozomi's reaction. "The only reason that I would allow otherwise is if he was guarding me."

"But I regard Shirogane as my friend and – " Nozomi began.

"I will not allow it!" both Saku and Nozomi were startled at the sudden change of Rurihime's voice and tone, although with Saku, it was merely due to the volume increasing.

"My husband is the leader of Hiraizumi and if I have his servant acting in such a friendly fashion around me, this would cause gossips." Rurihime explained. "At the lightest, they would say that I don't any manners, at the worst case people would say that I must let him in my room at night times."

"Rurihime-dono is a princess from Kyo so this would have been what she was taught." Saku quickly explained to Nozomi.

"But Saku, what about you?" Nozomi asked.

"It is true that we are nobles but we are actually not that well off. Things were different in my household, as aniue and Tamako-dono, along with hahaue, were much more relaxed. However, chichiue was rather strict. But Rurihime-dono, what is it that you wish to talk to us about?" very quickly, the subject was changed. (2)

Yasuhira had told her that the best lies were not fully lies due to containing some truths, and she better obey this rule as she was probably not skilled in this area.

"I think I just wish to talk to someone as I have no one else to talk to." She said truthfully. "Tamako-dono…Tamako-dono is very different due to the arrival of the military commander of the Genji. As for Iwako-dono…her pregnancy and Kunihira-dono's attitude to Tamako-dono is making things really bad."

To her, the servants were not candidates to have a serious conversation with as they were at a different status from her.

"I have told you two that I am from Kyo, and it seems that you might have already heard more about me." Rurihime began. "What have you heard of me?"

"That you are a princess related to Goshikawa-houu and you married Yasuhira-san when you were rather young, although you did not live in here until you were fourteen." Nozomi recollected.

"That is so. I have, have I not, told you about what happened to my parents, as well as what I think of Yasuhira-dono? This," She continued upon the nod, "is what I wish to talk to you about. However, can you two please answer me this question first: what is it that you think of Yasuhira-dono?"

"That might be a bit hard for us to answer." Saku said tactfully. "The truth is that we have not been here that long."

"That is so." Rurihime admitted. "However…I have no one else that I can really talk to."

"Rurihime-san, isn't that the ouyasha?" Nozomi asked. "Will it be alright for us to enter?"

"It is one of the quietest places." Rurihime said. "People don't really like coming there."

After all, it was a place they could not understand.

When they approached the long stairs, Shirogane immediately knelt down and offered his hand to Rurihime. After all, she was his master's wife. However, his gaze was actually on Nozomi.

"…I will be fine." Rurihime decided, although it did look a bit daunting. However, she was not at a stage where she would not mind accepting Shirogane's offer when he clearly wanted to help Nozomi instead of her.

She could mange the walk without being exhausted, although the pace was rather slow as she had to carefully hold her elaborate robes up to prevent herself from stepping on it.

As for the very end of the robe, it was definitely getting wet due to the snow.

"What is this building?" Nozomi asked, the one most at ease with this task, excluding Shirogane.

"The ooyasha that Yasuhira-dono built for Hiraizumi's sake." Rurihime said quietly. "In order for him to win."

"But how does building this helps?" Nozomi asked, and this was actually a question that many others had demanded.

Rurihime did not answer that. Instead, she seemed to have move onto a new topic.

"My father was a very good friend of Prince Mochihito and he never liked the Heike much. Chichiue was also the brother of Goshikawahouu-sana who lost much of his power. However, chichiue has never involved himself with politics until Prince Mochihito's rebellion, which happened after I went to live in Hiraizumi. I was very surprised at hearing him having done this. At that moment…Yasuhira-dono said that perhaps it was because chichiue could not before. I now finally understood what he meant. My father was a very loving father. Therefore, the thought of endangering his daughter due to his own political attitude would definitely make him careful. However, things were very different after I went to live in Hiraizumi."

"But that wasn't your fault." Nozomi quickly said.

"I know that it wasn't my fault. However, I am a cause." Rurihime said softly and she then whispered the following out. "Just as Kurou-dono and maybe you caused what happened to happen in Hiraizumi, even though it was not your fault. However, do you not think that you should be helping us?"

There were no accusations in her voice, but that was probably why it seemed chilling. She was saying all this in a very matter of fact way.

"But of course we would help." Nozomi said. There was something about Rurihime that suddenly made her very uneasy.

"Yasuhira-dono will truly prefer to work with you if that is possible." Rurihime continued in that tone. "Miko-dono, all that Yasuhira-dono wishes to do is to protect Hiraizumi. Surely that is no unreasonable?"

"Rurihime-dono, what is it that Yasuhira-dono actually wants?" Saku asked bluntly, as she accurately guessed what was happening.

"Yasuhira-dono needs the power of the gekirin. This, combine with the ouyasha would help him to win." Rurihime said, finally revealing and admitting the purpose of her actions. "And he would get it no matter what.

"The gekirin…what does he want with it? What can it do for him?" Nozomi whispered as she stared at the object in question.

"It can be used as a weapon- a weapon to damage the enemies that harm us." Rurihime said. "Yasuhira-dono has the ability of using it like a weapon."

"I understand that there must be people who die in a battle, but I cannot allow the gekirin to be used in such a way. After al," Nozomi said firmly, "It was an object that Hakuryuu gave me in order to save me. It should not be used like that."

"And so you would watch the people of Hiraizumi die? And so you will let people who did not need to die, die?" Rurihime's voice, which had never been unkind, suddenly seemed very cruel. "You can save these people, Nozomi-dono."

"But I cannot let the gekirin be used in such a fashion! Besides, are the people on the opposite side not people? Why is it that they must be the one who die as if they deserve to die?"

"And that line can make the play become a comedy, as it is completely pathetic." This voice was much colder as it expressed all the contempt he felt in such a cruel way. (3)

"Yasuhira-dono?"

"Did I not say that it would be a waste of your time?" Yasuhira said to his wife as he stepped out. Rurihime did not thought that he was being especially kind to her, but she realised that he was actually showing a certain level of tolerance towards her as his expression toward the other two was much colder.

"Shirogane, get the gekirin from the hakuryuu-no-miko." Yasuhira ordered. "After all, it is better that her white hands would not get stained. As for you…Saku-dono, remain still."

His sword was drawn and Saku was certain that this man would have no hesitation in striking her if he needed to. However, the next thought that entered her head was actually gratitude toward her brother for what he has done with his gekirin.

"The gekirin is my possession! How dare you do this!" Nozomi yelled out angrily as she tired to draw out her sword.

"Nozomi-dono, if you give me too much trouble then I will personally deal with you. However, by that I would first get rid of Saku-dono here."

"Have you no shame!" Nozomi spat out. However, she did cease her struggling.

"Did I not actually give you the opportunity to work for me when I actually know that it would only be a waste of my time? Because you are blessed by the gods, you would not understand what it is that those who are not blessed must do. "Because of this, he said rather angrily, "You can close your eyes whenever it suits you."

"Yasuhira-dono, I found it." Shirogane said as he handed the object over very carefully.

"There is no need to look around, Hakuryuu-no-miko-dono, none of your slaves are here to defend you. Enjoy this novelty." Yasuhira said harshly as he took the gekirin. "Yes…that is what I need."

Nozomi actually drew out her sword as this could be a possible chance since he looked away from Saku. However, she then felt her hope snatched away from her.

"Miko-sama, please be still." Shirogane said and his voice was almost bland- as if she was merely a child who was impatient to get up instead of sitting properly.

Saku was naturally very alarmed as well, but she knew that she had to remain calm. It was true that this man was dangerous, but he was almost very rational.

"Yasuhira-dono, now that you have the gekirin, would you not release us?" she began. "What use do you have of us?"

"If the gekirin that I took had been yours, then I might be able to do so. However," he said darkly, "The hakuryuu-no-miko is different from you. Unlike you, she have more then one protector and I have no doubt that they would be wanting to get this back. To the hachiyo, the whole of this Hiraizumi can be burnt to ruins if it means that their precious miko could be saved."

"That is not true!" Saku immediately protested.

"No matter what, they would be making trouble for me and I cannot afford this now." Yasuhira said. "Saku-dono, tell me, who is more important to you? This girl or the people of Hiraizumi that you do not really know? No, better yet, let me rephrase the question. If you would only save one person, then who would you save? That girl or Rurihime?"

"What is the purpose of these questions?" Saku demanded angrily before she decided that to reason with this person was not possible. "Do you think that Hidehira-dono would allow you to do this? We are his guests."

"I am the one in charge now." Yasuhira answered her simply. "Shirogane, I want you to take them to that part of the house and make sure that they remain there."

"Wait!" Nozomi suddenly yelled out. "Rurihime-san, is this why you asked us to come to the ouyasaha? So you can get the gekirin from me?"

The other met her gaze without flinching, and her gaze showed her resolution. However, Nozomi felt that her gaze was actually rather dull and even a bit lifeless.

"Yasuhira-dono is my husband, and I love him. I wish to help him to achieve what he wants." Rurihime said softly. "…even for such a man as him. Although I did not lie to you. I believe that he would be able to be a good ruler and he is doing all this for Hiraizumi."

"Even though he is wrong!" Nozomi said with a slight desperation.

Rurihime was startled but she then began to laugh. However, her laughter was rather hysterical.

"Yes, that is so." She finally said. "I think my path has been decided since the day that I first saw Yasuhira-dono when I was only a girl of twelve years old. My path would follow his…if his path would take him to the dept of the underworld…then I would go there too. After all, I am still standing beside him despite all that he has done."

She then began to laugh again, it was not merely hysterical, but desperate.

Yasuhira's reaction was not really surprising, although it still startled them. Turning to his wife, he actually slapped her very hard. Not hard enough to draw blood as that was not the main point, but hard enough to cause a great amount of pain.

"I am sorry, Yasuhira-dono." She muttered. "But I – "

"As I have said, your loyalty is to me." he said simply. "Don't be hysterical- I don't have time for that now. Shirogane, take these two away. Tie them up if you need to."

"I won't forgive you!" Nozomi said angrily.

"Forgive me? You act as if I need such a thing. I do not have any thoughts of being forgiven by you…I never once expected anyone's forgiveness." Unlike the other part, the last bit of the sentence was a bit sad. "I have decided what I will protect and I will do all that I can in order to protect it."

"And what is that?" Saku asked, recalling the similar words that her brother had said.

"Something that I would protect at all cost." Yasuhira said. "But even if you know it, nothing would change."

"And you think that this can justify your actions?" Nozomi said angrily.

"You can never understand this, miko-dono, because you are blessed in such a way." This was barely audible and he then signalled for them to be taken away.

"And what will you do next, Yasuhira-dono?" Rurihime said very softly when they were alone in the ouyasha again.

"Imprison Kurou so that they would behave." He answered. He was not looking at her as he was staring at the scenery in front.

"It is strange that you would do so when you actually wish to protect Kurou-dono." She commented.

"He is that type of man- the type to endanger himself." Was all that Yasuhira said.

"So you have gekirin now, as well as the position of the leader. Neither were easy tasks."

"It is necessary for me to have both in order to win. And I will win, I must win." He said firmly as he tightened his grasp on the object in his hand. "Whether it is the gods or demons, I will not let them win."

"I think it is not just Nozomi-dono that is blessed, so is Kurou-dono." At this, he felt her standing beside him and her hand actually grasped his other hand. This was actually a rather surprising thing from her- he did not think that she would even want to touch him. (4)

"Yasuhira-dono, it is as I have said: I will be beside you even though what I can do is rather limited." She whispered. "Therefore, please do not push me away."

The day was rather cold but her hand seemed even colder. He actually almost wished to shake it off.

"And do you think that you can actually walk on this path with me? This is not a path that would lead to the sacred lands." He finally admitted. He raised his hand, but it was the one holding the gekirin, not the one that was being held by her. "These hands are stained." (5)

"I don't believe that." She said very sharply.

"I tried to kill my own father and I do not repent it." he said briskly as he shook off her hold. "I do not think that you will be able to talk on this path with me."

"Yet I wish to remain beside you." She said softly as she took hold of his hands again. "But Yasuhira-dono, I believe that miracles can happen as I have seen one. That white lotus is a reminder that a miracle can happen. And…I believe that if the gods would grant such a miracle, then they would forgive you."

Then the two of them stood like that side by side, her hand holding his. They both just stared at the snow that spread out in front of them a temporary peace.

Soon, the white snow would be dyed by the blood of the dying soldiers.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) It is ironic as this was what Rurihime herself was thinking. Yet the ironic thing was that Rurihime has actually decided that she accept this, even without Yasuhira lying to her._

_(2) Well, when Kagetoki first talked to Nozomi (thinking that she was a servant) he was actually quite friendly. However, from what Kagetoki said, I had a feeling that his father might have been more strict. In this story, this is how I approached it- Kagetoki had a much stricter father who had quite a high expectation of him, while his mother was more lenient._

_(3) Well, given what their situation was like, this is basically saying that you are not going to kill the others, which Yasuhira would naturally see as being very foolish. In addition, it is not as if Yasuhira or even Yoritomo are saying that they should die because they are on the other side, but for the mere fact that this is what one does to survive _

_(4) I really feel that Kurou is of equal importance as Hiraizumi to Yasuhira and given all that Yasuhira has done- including killing his own father- I think this shows how much he actually cares for Kurou. Yet it is the type of affection and care that is really amazing as Yasuhira is not asking for anything in return._

_(5) To be honest, I feel that this bit is sort of a bit RurihimexYasuhira, because he raises that hand in order to not let go of her hand. In addition, he did not shake her hold off even though he commented on how it was really cold._


	33. Chapter 32

**Chapter Thirty Two**

_"I stand here, bearing the weight of my sins_

_With no means by which to cleanse myself of them." _

_~ (__濁流のほとり__清流の淵__)_

Another battle has begun- it was merely a matter of time. The snow would be stained with blood, only to be covered by the fallen snow again. It lasted, but did not last.

The ouyasha became a base for Yasuhira, he would do the majority of the tasks there- especially when he needed to use the gekirin. He was a contrast to his brother- who fought with the rest. However, those who had suspected him had to admit that Yasuhira was a very good commander and leader. In fact, many were actually more then a little surprised at this discovery.

However, they could not understand why he would have his sister-in-law accompanying him. The messenger and soldiers who get to be there would all say that she would be chanting something over and over again, although no one has yet to understand what it was that she was saying.

They were actually ways to let the gekirin be powerful as well as preparing the ouyasha for the final stage. Of course, his wife could do so as all that was necessary was to read the right words, which he had found. However, Tamako was a much better choice.

"I think you are wrong in that aspect." Tamako had said coldly. "I think he would shoot."

However, the Gekirin was not all powerful due to two reasons: he was not the priestess and there was one more pollution. It was a strong one so it must be one where the pollution was carved into the very essence of the carrier.

However, how could it be hidden so? How was it hidden?

"…do you think that anyone would listen to your prayers?" Yasuhira said to his wife, who was kneeling in front of the family shrine. Due to the current situation, she naturally could no longer go to the temples and pray there. It was decided that it was better to be safe by having her remain indoors. To him, however, both actions were useless. "Do you actually think that your prayers could be granted? That you would be able to discover where the last contamination is? Or you would have the ability to destroy Yoritomo's army?"

He slept in her room now and then although his logic was that this allowed him to keep a closer control since the two priestesses were kept in the room nearby. It was actually useful as there were times when he heard them discuss a plan. A simple one that might just have worked due to the current state of the guards.

As a result, they were now kept in two separate rooms.

"I am not praying for that. I am, "Rurihime declared out, "Praying for Yasuhira-dono."

"Do I need the aid of the gods that way?" he said with a frown. "You are wasting your time."

"I have said that I believe in miracles- therefore, I will do this." She said firmly. "I wish for Yasuhira-dono to be able to go to the sacred lands…no, I believe that you would be able to."

"The gods are not as friendly as you would like to think." He said. "Have not all that happened convince you of this?"

"But I must do it because Yasuhira-dono is like this." She almost admitted the truth that no one else would do so: "It is true that what you did is a sin, but it is for the sake of protecting this place and these people. So…I want you to be forgiven. Yasuhira-dono, I wish for you to be able to go to the sacred lands, as you are doing all this for the sake of making this place into one."

At that moment, he suddenly recollected the words of Tamako, which had been very similar.

"Do you not wish to go to the sacred lands?" Tamako had said.

Pity had been in her eyes and he had disliked it. It was not just because she said this, but the fact that she acknowledged the truth that he probably abhorred to the point of loathing it.

Her words suggested that he was not able to go there.

"…I wish to go." He admitted and his voice was unusually soft. Softer then what she has ever heard. "But I will not be able to go."

He was not repentant- he accepted the punishment.

Perhaps that made Hiraizumi being a sacred land even more important as this would be the sacred land that he could have.

"Has the miko been behaving?" he asked briskly, realising that he has let down his guard too much.

"I have not heard anything that suggest otherwise." Rurihime said simply. "But I have not talked to them since that day. However…Shirogane has."

"Both of them?"

"He visits both of them but I think his main concern is the hakuryuu-no-miko." She said honestly. "I think he only visits the kokuryuu-no-miko for the sake of being…polite."

"Is that so? And what is the miko's reaction?"

"Shirogane exists with a very sad expression- so the answer is probably quite obvious." Rurihime reported.

"As I said, those who are blessed would never understand what those who are not must do to protect what they wish." Yasuhira said bitterly. "Yet I still have to get her aid."

"Yasuhira-dono, if you want then I will talk to her, although I really do not think that this would make a difference. However, I will do so if you wish."

"Do so. This thing," he said in reference to the gekirin. "Is not as powerful as it was. Therefore, I need her."

The other reason was actually due to the fact that the final pollution was increasing in strength.

"Yasuhira-sama, may I speak to you?" Shirogane said as he knelt down. "I have a small request that I wish to be granted no matter what."

"A request? That is rare and is probably going to be a waste of my time." Yasuhira muttered, although he did not indicate for Shirogane to continue speaking.

"Please let miko-sama be able to meet her hachiyo or at the very least, let her be able to be placed with Saku-dono." Shirogane said as he placed his forehead on the ground.

Without thinking, Rurihime grabbed Yasuhira by the arm. Her husband's expression was such that she feared he would pull his sword out and strike at his servant.

Or he might actually kick Shirogane, but she did not know how to stop him that way.

"Miko-sama is suffering so much." Shirogane continued desperately. "And I desperately wish to do something that might help her pain to lessen."

Yasuhira shook his wife's hold off but she was sure that he did calm down a bit. After all, he just turned and left.

"Shirogane, you ask for the impossible." Rurihime said softly before she explained why. After all, she was a woman and he was being so pathetic that she could not help but to pity her.

"But Rurihime-sama…the pain of miko-sama…" Shirogane continued.

Initially, pity made her explain to him, but then she was forced to stay as he had grabbed the hem of her robe. Unlike the others, it was much easier for him to do so for her.

"Shirogane…your master is Yasuhira-dono. He was the one who found you and made you a servant" She began. "How dare you act in such a way?"

"I know this but miko-sama…" his words stopped suddenly as he broke into a scream. At that moment, Rurihime almost screamed as well due to the fear of him going berserk. However, it merely seemed due to him being in great pain.

"Shiro…Shirogane, are you…well?" she whispered with real concern due to how frightening his expression had been. "You…you can go and rest. I do not think that Yasuhira-dono requires you to do anything else today."

"Yes…as you order." His voice suddenly sounded blank but Rurihime thought that this was merely due to him being upset. In addition, she herself was too busy with thinking about what she would be doing. Once again, her husband has given her a task that she disliked.

But then, this was the type of man that her husband was. It was certainly very different from what her parents had been like. If she had a husband like that, then her life would have been very different.

As she had said- he forced her to use her head.

* * *

It had been quite sometime since Nozomi was imprisoned and even though the conditions were very good, she was still getting ill. However, she did not give up as she continued to try- she would bang on the door now and then as well as searching for a way to do this.

Shirogane came now and then, but he was always offering anything apart from what she wanted.

However, she was to receive a surprising visitor.

It was Rurihime.

Initially, Nozomi had blamed her for what has happened. However, once she calmed down, she realised that there was nothing deceiving with what Rurihime did. The other made it clear that she was doing it all for her husband since the very beginning- as well as how she believed her husband.

It was true that the other did bring her to the ouyasha under her husband's orders but…

Nozomi found herself thinking of Kagetoki and whether it was similar. If it was…then she was able to pity the other. Perhaps it was the exact same with Shirogane.

Therefore, she tended to be sad instead of angry.

"Miko-dono, we wish to talk to you." it was Rurihime's voice, but the use of plural made her companion quite easy to guess.

Nozomi could not deny that Rurihime had been rather kind and she did not give herself any airs of snobbery as she was a good mistress to the servants. However, even though she was never unkind to any of them, it was clear that she regarded them as servants. Therefore, they were not on an equal ground with her. Her companion could not be her husband or her brother-in-law because she would have had them speak instead of her.

It had to be Tamako.

They were the two seishitsu of the two sons of Hidehira. However, they were very different- just as the two brothers were very different. It was mental as well as physical.

However, Nozomi suddenly thought that there was a strange resemblance right now despite their very different clothing and their appearance.

"Miko-dono, I am here on behalf of my husband." Rurihime said softly. At that moment, Nozomi realised that she was also cradling a small baby in her arm. "And for my son as well."

The boy slept in his mother's arm comfortably and later on, the fold of her fancy robes and her favourite incense would be the peaceful yet distant memories of his birth mother from a very long time ago.

"I have been thinking a lot and I realised one thing: my husband's death would not just be the death of Fujiwara no Yasuhira. It would be the death of the Oushu Fujiwarashi, as well as this child. After all, Kamakura-dono would not make the same mistake as Kiyomori-dono."

"I know the significance of all this and I would have fought, and so would Kurou-san." Nozomi said firmly. "However, I cannot let the gekirin be used this way."

"Then you still do not understand, miko-dono." Tamako said softly. "When one wishes to protect the one that they must have alive and well, they are willing to do anything to achieve this purpose- even if it is a road of sins that cannot be retracted. Yet you will not even do something that might merely cause you to pause."

Unlike Rurihime, Tamako had never been particularly kind to them. In addition, Tamako's attitude did cause Saku pain, which naturally made Nozomi upset.

"How can you speak like this?" Nozomi said angrily.

"Perhaps I should say: 'How can you not speak like this?' Yasuhira-dono has done great wrong but it is not what he is doing to you." Tamako said simply. "Tell me, what is wrong with having a stronger weapon so he can win in the battle? Especially when the stakes are so high?"

"It is wrong to use the gekirin like this! It was given to me by Hakuryuu as something very precious." Nozomi said as she thought of that scene again- when she had been trapped inside the burning building.

The truth was that she was very lucky to have this second chance, but this was a sign of her being blessed by the gods. Even though many people would do anything to get this second chance, it would never be possible for them.

Therefore, this was why they must do all that they could because they have no second chance. (1)

"Miko-dono, if you help Yasuhira-dono then everything would be better for everyone." Rurihime said with full certainty. "After all, Yasuhira-dono does not wish to harm you because Kurou-dono would be upset. And I am sure that he would rather have Kurou-dono fighting alongside with him."

"I cannot do so. I cannot allow the gekirin to be used in such a way." Nozomi said very firmly, before she added the following. "I do not think that I can trust Yasuhira-san at all."

"You finally said something that I can agree with." Tamako chuckled. "Because he is the type to only care for what is of use to him. However, he truly wishes to protect Hiraizumi and…Kurou-dono is one that he cares a lot about."

"But Tamako-san, why are you helping Yasuhira-san?" Nozomi cried out. The two women both decided that it was better to give up and they were just about to leave.

"I?" at this, Tamako's paused and Nozomi saw that the other's expression was suddenly very lonely. She then realised that it was not an alien expression as she had seen it before.

The time when Saku first told her about Kokuryuu…

The time when she caught Yuzuru looking at her and Kurou…

The time when Kagetoki was at ninnaji…

"Women are usually not able to fight in a battle, but we fight in our own way. We stand beside our husband no matter what. Hōjō Masako and Taira no Tokiko are exactly the same, and Rurihime-dono is like them as well. However…I cannot do that as that person would push me away. Therefore…this is all that I can do."

* * *

Once more, Yasuhira was the ouyasha with Tamako beside him, while Shirogane was some distance away from them by being below.

"…I am surprised at Yasuhira-dono." Tamako suddenly said, temporarily pausing her chanting.

"Tamako-dono, I brought you here for the purpose of helping me, not for your company." Yasuhira said dryly without taking his gaze away from the gekirin. It was more dull now- did he have enough time?

"For that you would have took your seishitsu?" she smiled even though he was not able to see it.

"Yes, because she would not have been distracted and she would shut up."

"That little girl is a princess from Kyo but she certainly qualifies as a good wife for a family such as yours." Tamako continued. "She continues to persuade the priestess even though she dislikes it. She even uses you two's son as a means although this only made her feel even more depressed afterward."

"She is being foolish. Why should she feel bad about such a thing?" Yasuhira muttered. "She is my wife- so it is only natural for her to do this."

"That is so. After all, I feel the same in regard to Kagetoki's betrayal. Even now, the idea of calling it a betrayal is laughable. What loyalty did he own to that girl?" (2)

"Your first husband is certainly a formidable enemy." Yasuhira commented and he surprised her by being genuine. There was no hint of sarcasm in his voice. "It seems that he would cut off the food supply and then uses the civilians in what way he would see fit." (3)

"Would Yasuhira-dono not do a similar thing?" Tamako said simply. "It is as what your brother and I have said. Kagetoki is very capable due to desperation. He would do whatever he needed in order to achieve his goals."

"Yet I still think that you would be useful…just as his sister would be." Yasuhira commented.

"I am here instead of beside him, Yasuhira-dono. Therefore, do you think that I would really matter?" Tamako asked.

"I would much rather that Kurou is away instead of being here." Yasuhira pointed out and this was probably his answer to what had puzzled him- why Kagetoki would have his wife here.

"I admit that I do not know what he would do if you do use me as a hostage, but I know what I would do. Therefore, you can forget about that idea."

"Despite everything, aniue does seem to know you quite well." Yasuhira suddenly said. "It is a shame that he did not know himself that well back then."

"As to prevent this from happening? I often wonder," at this point, Yasuhira was sure that she was no longer speaking to him, but to herself or the two that were no longer here. "Would we have made a different choice had we knew that this would be our future?"

What would she have changed then? Not accepting Kunihira and prevent this obsession with her that was like a curse from happening? To refuse the engagement with Kagetoki in order to spare herself from this pain? To still return to his side despite his action? To tell her father about what her sister was planning? To somehow prevent Kagetoki from going to that battle?

She did not know. She could never know.

She would never get a second chance as such a miracle was impossible. For almost everyone, life was a stream that would twist and turn, yet its course could never reverse. If you dropped something into the river, then you could never get it back from the exact same time and place.

"Who would be lucky enough to get the miracle of travelling back through time and get to make the same decision again?" Tamako muttered.

Nozomi did. Even though it only happened once, she was still exceptionally lucky. For most, they would have to live through the rest of their life with their loved ones gone- if they had been lucky enough to be able to survive in her situation.

"Tamako-dono, what is it that you want?" Yasuhira suddenly said. "You said that you would help me to destroy Dakiniten, but is this what you truly want? Dakiniten being dead would not create that much a difference. Kamakura-dono is still very powerful. I will be able to keep power over Hiraizumi but it is still Yoritomo who would have great power."

"I know that. The truth is that I do not know what I am doing." Tamako admitted. "After all, what can I do? There is nothing that I can do…I cannot even be by his side. However, I feel that if Dakiniten is dead then maybe things would change somehow."

"If they do not?"

"I do not know." She whispered. "And I do not care. Right now, all I can think about is whether that person would live or die."

"Yet you are increasing his chance of dying." Yasuhira pointed out bluntly.

"…I am a cruel woman but I am not that cruel." Tamako said. "I can do nothing for Kagetoki…yet I possess a knowledge that might change much and believe that it might be a change for the good. Therefore, I will choose to gamble on this."

"Even though it might be worse?"

At this, she shook her head and her tone was very firm. "Nothing can be worse, Yasuhira-dono. No matter what, the change would be for the better."

"Even though Hōjō Masako is your sister?"

"That is not my sister. My sister gave up her own life all these years ago. Besides, you out of all people cannot say that to me." she pointed out.

Was the new Hōjō Masako her sister? Her answer kept on changing.

"That person and I both feared death." She said softly. "But I think it is different now that we lived the alternative. Kagetoki might have made a different choice now. Perhaps he would have choose to die at that moment."

"It is said that Kaajiwara Kagetoki is also Kamakura-dono's assassin." Yasuhira commented. "I can believe him to be capable of such a thing."

"Yes, but even though he is like you, he is different. Unlike you, he seeks forgiveness." At this her voice became much gentle.

"And so he will be forgiven?"

"I do not believe that he has sinned, and even if he has, it is understandable. He has to do it for the sake of protecting his family. He is cruel and would be punished. However, he has not sinned and so he would not be damned. Therefore, I think he can find rest in the sacred lands."

Though she did not say it, they both knew that she regarded him in a very different way.

"Your first husband is stronger men then what most think." Yasuhira muttered. "If he could send away one who says all that he wishes to hear."

"Isn't Yasuhira-dono similar?" Tamako retorted back rather sharply. "You have a person who is exactly like that right beside you."

"Do not categorise me as the same as your first husband- I do not need such a thing."

"Nor does Kagetoki. But Yasuhira-dono, why are you suddenly keeping on reminding me of the fact that Kagetoki is my first husband?"

Without realising it himself, that was actually what he has been doing. Instead of saying 'Kajiwara Kagetoki' or 'The military commander of the Genji', he kept on saying 'Your first husband'.

"Yasuhira-dono really doesn't give up. Did I not tell you that it would not matter that much? That is the only thing I can do." Tamako answered her own question. "Be assured, Yasuhira-dono, I would help you to the very end."

"And what will you do then, Hōjō Tamako, if you have to make the choice that your first husband might make?"

A smile formed briefly and she then walked to him, almost the distance where she would be able to rest her hand on his chest.

"Even if I act now, you would be able to prevent it, and you are very different from both your brother and Rurihime-dono. Kunihira-dono would naturally hesitate in such a situation and even if Rurihime-dono would make her choice, she would still hesitate and that might be enough due to the opponent. You, however, are different." she said and she then raised her hand to point at him, but this was done rather slowly. After all, she did not wish for her fingers to be chopped off due to her actions and her words. "Why would a man who is willing to do what you did have any hesitation in striking a woman who he dislikes?"

At this, he smiled as well, and it was the same type of smile: one that contrasted the basic meaning of a smile.

"Do you not think a bit too high of yourself, Tamako-dono?" he said. "Just because you happened to be of some use."

"I was more then a little bit useful to you, Yasuhira-dono." She pointed out. "But that is not why you dislike me. I saw your expression when I asked you about the sacred land…that was dislike. It is certainly an honour," she added dryly, "Since you are usually just indifferent. I suppose this honoured is shared with the hakuryuu-no-miko. I know why I caused you to dislike me, but I do not understand why you would dislike her so."

"Is it not simple when you are like me in that aspect?" strangely enough, the two of them continued to talk. It was true that there were no enemy around, but this was an unusual situation because he would usually be thinking of what to do next while she changed the spells.

"The truth is that it is not her fault that she is blessed while we, or the ones that we care about, are not. Yet we are jealous and so blame them for it." Tamako said softly. "They don't deserve it…because we don't think that they deserve it. If we ought to blame anyone then it would be the gods. However, this would probably be the only time that I would say this." (4)

"You are like Kajiwara Kagetoki- your first husband- that way." Yasuhira said. "That is probably why you ought to be his wife instead of my brother's."

"Perhaps this is so." She admitted as she then added the following: "But what of you and Rurihime-dono?"

To answer the question was foolish, so Yasuhira choose silence. However, he had to admit that not many others would be able to remain beside him in that situation.

His wife was actually very strange- she would walk with him despite not being on the same path because she would never do the things that he would do. Yet it would not be a separate path because she actually accepted his actions.

His hands would be stained and she would hold his hand. However, her hands could be clean because the blood dyed from his hand could be washed off since it was much fainter.

They would walk very close together, but the path would lead to different destinations in the end.

He accepted it and he would not wish for otherwise. He was not the type of men who needed company. (5)

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) This is one of the main reason that I feel Nozomi just had it too lucky. The fact that not only is she loved by everyone, she even have the ability to do this. And what annoy me is the fact that she is the special one who can change time, because sensei actually have to face the fact that nothing he could do could change their fate, but once Nozomi come, then fate could be changed. It is just simply much too unfair. For people like Yasuhira and Kagetoki- if you screw up then you screw up. With Kagetoki, he might deeply regret his action, but he has no way to reverse it. He has to live with the choice that he made. Therefore, it is necessary to do all that they could to protect what is important to them, because if it is gone, it would be gone. They would not be able to be like Nozomi, who could go back and make a different choice. _

_(2) This is Tamako's point of view. To her, Kagetoki owned no loyalty to Nozomi just because she is the miko and he is a hachiyo. After all, if he was willing to abandon her and do all these things for his family, why would he feel obliged to suddenly do everything for a stranger?_

_(3) This actually refers to an actual event in the game- I believe it is in Shirogane's route. Kagetoki would say that they would isolate the people (A siege?) and Masako would comment that it would take a long time, and asks whether she would be able to go and see the Sakura in either Kyo or Kamakura. At this, Kagetoki would tell her that it would not take that long because people would get hungry. Upon this, Masako would comment that Kagetoki is a scary and cruel person, and to this, Kagetoki would reply that he probably is._

_(4) I think this is why both Yasuhira and Tamako are annoyed with her. To a certain extent, it is really just the fact of life is unfair. Because they see this person who is so lucky. The fact that this person could have done much to change the situation, but would not. Therefore, they would probably feel that this person does not deserve the blessing. _

_(5) This is actually an indication of Yasuhira caring for Rurihime, he does not wish for her to the underworld with him- he wishes for her to be able to go to the scared land._


	34. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty Three**

_"Because I love you, because I will protect you_

_I whisper: 'I want you to be at my side'_

_I did not know this me."_

_~ (__永久の歌__)_

What would happen if Yasuhira defeated was very obvious. It was as what Rurihime said to Nozomi when she tried to get the other girl to work for them. Yoritomo would be the master of the country and even though he would allow the place to rise again, the ruling family must be destroyed. The only reason that he was not perusing the Heike was because he decided that Kurou was a bigger threat. (1)

Rurihime was not surprised at having her husband entering the room, but what he did next was something that he has never done before.

"Bring Yoshihira here." He ordered.

She was waiting for him in her room so her son was asleep in the nursery. After all, he had never really been interested in their child other then whether he was still well. If she had been with the child, then she would have sent the child back upon her husband' arrival.

"…get a servant to do it." Yasuhira said with slight irritation when she made a move to stand up. "I have not finished speaking."

His next question was equally surprising. "When is Iwako-dono due?"

Despite really wishing to ask him why he was actually asking all these questions, she still automatically did so because to not do so would definitely provoke some sharp comments from him.

"I think the midwife said sometimes in spring." She said. Once that was done, she could move onto her own questions.

"Aniue would have to provide for her safety since it could very well be a son. But even if it is a daughter…I am not certain of its safety."

At this moment, the maid arrived with the child and she automatically tried to place the child in his mother's arm. However, the father actually shook his head and indicated for the maid to bring the child to him.

Does he even know how to hold a child? Was asked by both the mother and the nurse. Unlike the nurse, Rurihime get to find out.

The child was asleep, which made everything much easier. Otherwise, the father's expression might very well scare the child.

"This child is my heir. He is the one who will carry the line of the Fujiwara no Oushi." Yasuhira declared gravely. "Therefore, he must live no matter what."

"Yasuhira-dono…you speak as if we will lose." Rurihime said very nervously.

"I am merely thinking of the possibility." Yasuhira said and this was probably the closest he would reflect any insecurity. "Unlike Kiyomori, Yoritomo would not be that foolish."

"What does Yasuhira-dono propose then?" she was certain that he had some type of a solution.

"My maternal grandfather says that he would protect this child. Even though I am sceptical about his ability, that is the only thing that I can do for this child." He said.

"Can we not send Yoshihira to a temple and let him be a monk." To Rurihime, it did not matter if the child was the last of the family. As long as he would live…

"Where did you think that Kurou lived? No, that would not be safe for Yoritomo. My grandfather would adopt the child…or get one of his sons-in-law who he could control to do so. They will promise that the child will be raised in ignorance and the child would really live in ignorance. However, as long as they will still continue the line and could somehow remember…"

"Would that really work?" Rurihime asked desperately. "Yasuhira-dono, please tell me the truth."

"…probably not." Yasuhira admitted honestly. "But that is the only thing that we can do. If I lose…if I die…Yoritomo's man would find the child and kill him. At the very least, my grandfather might be able to do something."

"Because I no longer can." Was the unspoken words.

"Should we not send him away now? Wouldn't this be safer then?" Rurihime asked.

"No. It is not possible now." The truth was that he was not even sure that he could do so later. However, he did not want to deal with any hysteria when she managed to remain amazingly calm despite being very agitated. "By that time…you will entrust the child to Shirogane."

"Shirogane? Is this a good choice?" after all, Yasuhira has commented that Shirogane seemed to be more devoted to the hakuryuu-no-miko then him.

"In this case I must rely on my best men and it happens to be Shirogane. He is the most skilled man that I have and even though he is obsessed with the miko, he has been loyal to me." (2)

"But Yasuhira-dono…what has happened?" Rurihime asked again.

He held the gekirin up and instead of the bright gem-like glow that she had seen before, the object was now almost like a stone. He must soon stop using it because he needed to use it when Dakiniten finally come.

"I don't understand it." Yasuhira hissed. "Why is it like this? If the final source of pollution is so strong then how could it be hidden so well?"

"Would this situation change if the miko is working for you?"

"I cannot say that it would turn the tide but it would be of an improvement."

Rurihime actually bit her fingers for a few seconds while her eyes were shut tightly: a childish behaviour that was a clear display of her emotions. However, she then nodded to herself and stood up.

"Yasuhira-dono, I will take Yoshihira and talk to Nozomi-dono. I will tell her that by not helping you, this is the same as killing Yoshihira." She said. "I will…"

"Sit down. There is no use." Yasuhira said bluntly. "She would merely feel that you are as heartless as me, and decide that this is another indication of how she should not help us."

"But at the very least…"

"It would not change anything. The ones who would allow one to live in order for others to die…the one must be special to them." He then turned to their son. "He…he is still very little."

"He is only one years old, so of course he is little!" Rurihime said, almost exasperated. "Or were you already like the way that you are now when you were his age?"

"He will be the heir, but would he actually remember any of this? Would he even know Hiraizumi?" at this, Yasuhira handed the child back to her. "Rurihime- do you know what your fate would be like?"

"Do you think that I would be allowed to live?" she asked with real concern as she was unsure and this was naturally a very important question.

"Probably. However, you would probably have the fate of Kurou's mother."

"Then I will rather have my mother's fate." She declared out. "If Yoshihira lives then I will live. But if he dies…then I will follow him and you." (3)

"Do what you wish." He said simply. "Tomorrow…if you see the flag at the ouyasha disappearing then hand Yoshihira to Shirogane and tell him that it is time."

"…Yasuhira-dono." There were in complete silence because what could you say in their situation? Especially if one of the parties was not the type to admit their feeling. "Do you think that the future can be changed?"

"What foolishness is this?" he began.

"If someone from the future come back to the present and talk to you, do you think the fact that they exist in the future would always be there?"

Strangely enough, he actually indulged in her silly words as he really had a long through about it.

"Yes." He finally said.

"It is not certain and it maybe a dream, but I choose to believe it." She whispered before she turned to him. "Yasuhira-dono, I believe that you will win and Yoshihira would one day be able to rule here."

"Do not ask me to share your foolish optimism." He said dryly, but he then admitted: "But that is true. We have to win."

He actually sat with her a bit longer, which was unusual enough given that he was not doing anything. However, he then acted in an even more unusual way by standing up. If he intended to leave all along, then there was certainly no need for him to sit like this with her, as he would probably see this as a waste of his time- which was even more valuable now.

"I have something that I must talk with Kurou." Yasuhira said. "Rurihime, remember what I said tonight."

"And Shirogane will be with me the whole of tomorrow? But Yasuhira-dono, why is it that you are so certain that it will be tomorrow?"

"It may not be tomorrow but the gekirin…soon it will reach its limit and once we are at that stage…"

She felt a similar feeling as well. The sense of knowing that tomorrow would be a decisive day.

What would happen if Yoritomo win was too obvious, but what if the opposite could happen?

This was a question that many have considered, but few dared to actually answer.

Rurihime did not ask Yasuhira to let her accompany him even though she would like to, as she knew what the answer would be. Therefore, she could only watch him disappear…to Kurou.

"To be honest and this will be our little secret, Yoshihira, but I think I dislike Kurou-dono more then the miko due to my own jealousy." She whispered to the still sleeping child. (4)

Rurihime knew that she ought to let Yoshihira sleep in the nursery but she found herself unable to let him go. After all, Yasuhira's grim words suggested that this might be the very last time that she could do this.

She loved her son…she always did. However, she only realised how much she loved her son now. She realised that she would have done what Tokiwa did if it meant that her son would be able to live.

The mere thought of that made her shudder with disgust, yet she knew that she would do so.

"Yoshihira, you must learn to say 'chichi' to your father." She said softly, planting a kiss on his forehead. "Because I really want you to see and hear it at least once."

This made her frown as it was really admitting defeat. Did she not have that miracle?

"When you are able to do that, I will get Yasuhira-dono to take you to the temples built by his forefathers and show you what Hiraizumi is like." She began firmly. "This is because you will be the future leader after your father. You will also have a new playmate because Iwako-dono's child is due soon. Perhaps you might even soon have a sibling."

Yes, this would happen.

However, she only allowed Yoshihira to leave her arms when she had to.

She ought to be sleeping, but she did not. Was it because there was a possibility that her husband might return and they would get a chance to talk rather briefly?

"…get out!" it seemed that Nozomi was a bit angry as she could be heard in this room. This then reminded Rurihime of her plan. It was too late to take Yoshihira now as she did not wish to wake her son up, but she could still go.

Yasuhira did point out that this was pointless, but Rurihime decided that she would still go. She could waste her own time if she wished.

Was what she said cruel? She thought this, as Yasuhira had used that word. However, this was such a situation.

She was actually thinking of the best way to rephrase her words when she heard another yell. This one was very strange due to two reasons.

It was muffled despite being Shirogane's voice.

Her thought was actually that maybe Nozomi was planning to escape. If this was the case then she ought to call someone. However, due to the current situation, she decided that she would actually see what happens first.

Which, as she thought later on, was not a wise idea. If Nozomi had been a ruthless person determined in escaping then she would have been in great danger. After all, to hold her as a hostage would be quite useful.

Her footsteps were very light and the people in the room were too distracted as to notice her.

"What is going on here?" Rurihime knew that it was safe to speak once she saw the situation. What happened was not Nozomi's doing since the other girl was clearly very agitated.

Shirogane was in a kneeling position on the ground and he was clearly in great pain. Nozomi was beside him and clearly trying to comfort him, although she did not seem to be well either.

"…it is nothing, Rurihime-sama." Shirogane whispered out as it seemed that he still noticed her presence.

"If you are sick then – " she began, but her words ended in a sharp inhale of breath upon walking closer to Shirogane.

First of all, just being beside him at this distance was enough to make her feel a bit ill. In addition, his whole body…the bandages around his body were loose and they revealed ruins that seemed to be tattooed onto his skin and they were glowing with an eerie light.

She has seen it before. It was at the ouyasha, when Nozomi and the others found a source of pollution.

"Shirogane," She began very softly. "Are you…"

"Yes." The other admitted. "Forgive me."

"It wasn't Shirogane-san's fault!" Nozomi yelled out immediately, which caused Shirogane to grasp her hand and announce his feeling and admiration for her once more, despite this being a rather inappropriate time.

Therefore, neither noticed that Rurihime grabbed her dagger and used the sleeves of her trailing robe to conceal it.

She was not knowledge in such thing, but if even she could tell that this was a seed of pollution, then this must be a very severe pollution. Therefore, it might be like the one in the ouyasaha.

"Miko-dono, is there no way for you to help him?" She actually made her voice into a plea, but this was merely an act, and she did find herself very disgusting.

"I tried to purify him but…"

At the sight of Nozomi being so upset, Shirogane quickly began to reassure her. It was painful for him now but the symbols would disappear, fade from sight and then the pain would be absent. After all, this had happened before. Once this was done, he would be able to help her.

He ought not to have said this in front of his master's wife.

"How ironic…" Rurihime whispered as she took a step closer. "That you are the last seed of pollution. You who Yasuhira-dono took in and made into his personal servant. You who Yasuhira-dono would have entrusted his own son too."

She could get a guard but would they believe her if they were not able to see the runes? The situation was already very delicate. It would easily get out of hand due to a single wrong step.

Shirogane…would help the hakuryuu-no-miko, that could not be ignored.

The other man was already doomed due to his condition, but the possibility of him escaping made it necessary for his execution to be immediate. If he escaped with the priestess…this was doo dangerous.

It was probably better that she know now, yet Rurihime could not help but to wish that he had been more careful.

She had to do it, this was necessary. For Hiraizumi's sake…

No, that was a bit hypocritical. It was for the Hiraizumi that would be ruled by her husband and the Hiraizumi that would one day be ruled by her son.

Once Shirogane was well, then she would never get the chance. Therefore, she had to do it now.

The elaborate fabric swung past the other two's sight as she raised her hand. It was then followed by a soft cry from Shirogane.

The sleeves fell back to reveal the dagger in her hand.

Before Nozomi could even react, Rurihime stabbed him again at the heart. The heart was also where the centre of the rune was.

"…Rurihime-sama…"

By this time, Nozomi had pulled herself together. She shoved Rurihime away and grabbed onto Shirogane. However, it was much too late. Despite her inexperience, Rurihime had done a very good job due to her determination.

"Why did you do this?!" Nozomi demanded even as she began to cry.

"He needed to die…for Yasuhira-dono's sake." Rurihime said bluntly as she sheathed her dagger. There was no more need of it.

"…I wanted to live for my Izayooki-no-kimi's sake." It was Shirogane's voice, but it was suddenly very different.

However, the first time that Taira no Shigehira spoke again after so long would be the last time that he ever spoke.

* * *

Yasuhira know that there was little point in talking to Kurou, yet he still did.

"Yasuhira, just what are you planning?" Kurou began in this fashion and he only silenced when he ran out of breath. However, he really said quite a lot. Most of all, he was upset with Nozomi's situation.

"…if you wish then I can let her be freed immediately." Yasuhira said. "Provided that she would help me. If you ask her to do it then…perhaps it would be a good situation no matter what."

If the priestess would help him then that is naturally good. But if she did not…then perhaps Kurou can realise this. (5)

However, it seems that Kurou always like to make things more complicated.

"I believe that she is right." Kurou said firmly. "Yasuhira- it would be much better if you release us and let us fight instead of doing whatever it is that you are doing."

"…do you not understand the true nature of Hōjō Masako?" Yasuhira said bitterly. "That is something that mere mortals cannot win against. Nor is that all…"

Kurou argued a bit more but even he would stop upon realising that the intended listener was not listening.

"…Kurou, what do you plan to do when all this finishes?" Yasuhira suddenly said.

"What do you mean?" Kurou snapped. "Right now…"

"When this ends…you would be free regardless of what way." He assured him. "…Mitachi would be upset to see you leave here."

"Are you suggesting that I stay here despite what you have done?" was the angry reply.

"What I have done is all done by me." Yasuhira said. "Mitachi has no involvement in this while aniue is barely controlling himself."

Yasuhira really did not understand the point of what he was actually doing. Even though it was true that he would probably be able to handle what Kurou might do, there was no need for him to court any unnecessary danger.

He was not with any guards- his official reason was that it was too risky as the guards might decide to change their alliance upon listening to Kurou speak. After all, the current situation had to be handled with great care.

However, he was not alone. Kugane was with him.

"…Kugane." Without knowing why, he said the name of his dog out aloud.

There were many times when he often feel that the dog was actually Kurou's and he himself was merely looking after it on behalf of Kurou. After all, the reason that Kugane was here was because of Kurou, and this dog was actually too much like Kurou.

The dog tended to charge without thinking- it was often distracted just by someone calling his name. In addition, the dog completely failed as a guard dog- which had been Yasuhira's intention in keeping it. It was very easy to gain its affection. (6)

Yasuhira suddenly thought of the day when he first found Kurou with the dog. It all seemed so long ago and he thought that he could understand why his brother and even Tamako tended to speak of the past in such a nostalgic fashion.

It might not be that far away but because it was a time that could never come back, it became very distant.

As he thought of those times, he suddenly realised that they also differed by the fact that he wished for the impossible: to have it once again. It was more then the satisfaction of seeing Hiraizumi be well.

He was only sixteen at that time and even though he would not ever admit this out aloud, life was relatively free of troubles. This was shortly after his wedding and at that time, he was completely indifferent to her. He probably almost immediately forgot about her. Even though he regarded himself, at the age, as having done many things, this was not fully true. In addition, things were peaceful at that time.

That was also before his brother made that disastrous marriage. Perhaps he did take his brother's side.

Raising his head, he noticed that the moon was rather full tonight. After all, it was izayoki.

It was winter so it was snowing now and then. It did cover the spilt blood and even buried some corpse, but this worked both ways. Each footstep was erased…a grim reminder that could be seen as a foreshadowing in his situation.

He might still win, but it was not that certain now due to the gekirin. At this, he took it out again.

If Dakiniten was destroyed then he would be able to have a bargain with Yoritomo. The gamble was that they realised his power and would give up due to the possibility of the tide changing.

Another that he must kill was Kagetoki.

If it was possible then he would attack into Kamakura as that would be the safest way to ensure that Hiraizumi would not be threatened again. However, this was probably impossible even if he had the gekirin in its full power. (7)

If he died…then that would be the end of his family's dominance. He was certain that his father and brother would be killed, and his son would be included too. The women would probably be allowed to live but…he was not sure whether they would choose to.

Hōjō Tamako being a slight exception.

However, Kurou might be able to live. After all, the main point was for Yoritomo to gain dominance over Oushu. Kurou was merely an excuse. Yet it would certainly be a good opportunity for Yoritomo to get rid of what he regarded as a threat.

If he win…Kurou would probably be safe. It was true that the Hōjō family has always disliked Yoritomo's brother, but only Masako had any real influence with Yoritomo.

"No matter what…I will win." He declared out.

He was going to put away the gekirin when it suddenly began to glow. Perhaps that was not a suitable word as it was more then just glowing. It was becoming vibrant and he could feel it shaking due to its power increasing.

"What is going on?" he said in surprise.

The answer was not clear, but the action that he needed to do was: he immediately headed to where the priestess was.

* * *

Nozomi was crying while Rurihime stood and waited for the consequences of her actions. Perhaps she owned the other that much for what she did.

"…why?" Nozomi finally demanded, looking up from the corpse in the room. The man had died in her arm…the man that had wished to live for her.

She did not love him the way she loved Kurou or even the Arikawa brothers, but she did care for him as he did become important to her.

"For the sake of Yasuhira-dono's victory." Rurihime said honestly. He had to die. He was a source of pollution."

"But he was a person! How could you just kill him like that?" Nozomi whispered. "Surely there could have been other ways…"

"Other ways? Maybe. Perhaps." Rurihime whispered. "But is that possible? Yasuhira-dono believes that tomorrow might be the very last day. Do you think that we have time for you to find a way?" (8)

What happened was already too much for Nozomi. Being here and separated from the ones that she cared about. She was strong, but it was a strength that had not been in full solitude until now. (9)

She grabbed the other and began to shake her, as well as demanding the same thing over and over again.

"It is as I have said." Rurihime said softly, the same answer being repeated once more.

At this, Nozomi suddenly slapped her. It was cruel for her to be seeing this, but the fact that the other seemed completely unrepentant… (10)

Just like her husband was the first thought that appeared.

Nozomi did not know what she was saying, but she was aware that her hand did not stop as the sound kept on ringing.

However, she suddenly felt her hand unable to move and when she did, it caused her great pain.

"What is the meaning of all this?" Yasuhira demanded, keeping his grip on Nozomi tight.

Upon seeing the mess in the room, he immediately reacted. (11)

"…Yasuhira-dono." Rurihime whispered softly, one hand touching her swollen cheeks. "I was the one who did that."

At this, Yasuhira actually noticed 'that'. As if 'that' was not bad enough, his wife claimed to be responsible for 'that'.

"…have you gone mad?" Yasuhira finally said. He was truly at a loss of words.

"Shirogane was the last seed of pollution." Rurihime whispered. "But who else would believe me? Therefore, I had to be the one who do the act."

Without letting go of Nozomi, Yasuhira crouched down beside Shirogane to confirm Rurihime's words. At this, Rurihime clutched her hands together…did he not believe her either?

"…you did right." Yasuhira concluded. "Shirogane had to die."

In her anger, Nozomi sought to slap him. However, he was not like his wife at all.

"Do not make me tie you up." He said grimly to Nozomi before he turned to his wife. "It is unpleasant but it was necessary."

"How can you two say this? I will never forgive you two!" Nozomi yelled out.

"Do you still think that I need your forgiveness? I am not your hachiyo." Yasuhira said coldly. "Then tell me, miko-dono, what would you do? What would you do if tomorrow is the last day that you have? But no…it might not matter to you. Unlike us, the hakuryuu would protect you."

After all, the gekirin was an example, although they did not know it then.

"Shirogane was loyal to you and – " Nozomi began but she was interrupted by Rurihime, who raised her voice angrily.

"Why is it that you are always right? Am I automatically wrong then? Am I wrong just because you are right? Shirogane was not loyal- he was going to take you to the hachiyo! Even if he was not the cause of pollution, I would not be wrong to punish such a servant!" (12)

Even though she seemed to have done everything without difficulty, Rurihime was actually more then a little affected by what has happened. Despite the world that she lived in, this was the first time that she has killed someone.

A life had ended by her hand and despite the fact she believed that it was necessary, she felt a deep guilt because the other did not wish to die at all. In fact, he wished to live.

"…would I be forgiven?" she suddenly whispered.

To stop hysteria, a slap was rather efficient, but Yasuhira decided that this was not suitable right now.

"If this is a sin, then there is no one innocent." He suddenly said. (13)

Why did he say so?

"…hakuryuu-no-miko, tomorrow will be an important battle and I will take you and the kokuryuu-no-miko with me." Yasuhira suddenly announced.

"I will never help you!" Nozomi spat out.

"I do not need you two's help." He said in equal coldness. "However, I will let you two see the end."

Saku would be there as she could be useful when her brother comes, but as for Nozomi…perhaps it was to let her realise the necessity of all this. After all, she might influence Kurou.

There were also matters he had to attend now…

"What do you want?" Nozomi immediately yelled out upon seeing Yasuhira taking a step toward the body.

"Tidying the mess, what else?" he muttered although he was not fully sure at how to clean this up.

Shirogane had been his servant, although the term of service was rather short due to this circumstance. On the other hand, the other seemed to have decided to betray him by helping the priestess. He did not particularly trust Shirogane, yet the dead man had actually been his personal servant.

It was even to this man that he was going to entrust his son to.

Therefore, the last seed of pollution being Shirogane seemed to be a great mockery to him. The sight of the body- which contained faint traces of the rune that were now harmless drawings, appeared in a very offensive way to him.

Yasuhira then realised that if had seen Shirogane as he had when he was still a pollution, he would probably not have been able to remain completely rational. (14)

However, how much did the other actually know? This was a question that could never be answered.

For everyone's sake, it was probably a question that was best not answered.

"That being had been dirty." Yasuhira later said to Rurihime, when they both finally retired for the night. "Therefore, you only need to be cleansed instead of being forgiven."

She was different from him…she still was.

Not all blood was the same even though all of it would be able to stain one's hand. However, some of it could be washed off. This depends on the one the blood was from, as well as the one who struck.

The hand that would hold his would still be free from blood as they could be washed off. It was such a hand that could enter the sacred land.

The real sacred land that was given, not created.

It was strange that he was thinking of these things- as if this really was the last time that he might be able to do so. Yet this was not a fully satisfactory reason as he now had the gekirin in a much powerful status.

Every misdirected piece was not at the right place again, so everything could go back to the way that it was.

The figure beside him was quiet and seemed to be asleep. The princess from Kyo was still different from the rest of Hiraizumi but he had to admit one thing.

She was a suitable wife for him.

Not ideal…but suitable.

* * *

_Notes_

_(1) To be honest, I was a bit surprised that Yoritomo just let the Heike all go and live on that island, given that the emperor was still alive. would be able to carry on the family line. However, in my story, my interpretation is that due to all that had happened, the loss of Masako, Yoritomo sort of decide that it would not be worth it. In addition, it might also be due to Kumano and even Hiraizumi._

_(2) Until Shirogane actually tried to escape with Nozomi, Yasuhira still gave him quite a bit of power. Therefore, I feel that in this fan fiction, he would have entrusted Shirogane to take Yoshihira to his grandfather. I think it is also because Yasuhira did expect this loyalty. And he seemed to have felt that Shirogane was actually loyal, because Shirogane did take the gekirin away from Nozomi._

_(3) By the fate of Kurou's mother, Yasuhira means that she would be able to survive, but might have to re-marry someone in order to not be seen as a threat. However, by saying that she would choose her mother's fate, Rurihime is saying that she is willing to commit suicide in order to prevent her being married to another._

_(4) After all, Rurihime probably just find Nozomi a bit too naïve by not helping Yasuhira due to not lending him the gekirin. However, she would most likely have been jealous of Kurou due to seeing all that Yasuhira is doing for Kurou and the fact that he would not do so for her._

_(5)By this, Yasuhira is saying that perhaps if Kurou knows how naïve Nozomi is, then he might sort of change what he actually feels for her. Because I feel that Yasuhira would have thought that __Nozomi was not worth Kurou._

_(6) In the game, when they found Kugane, Yasuhira actually said that he would use Kugane as a guard dog. However, in one of Kurou's event, he seem to suggest that Kugane is not a really good guard dog as he is too friendly with everyone (I then suddenly thought that this dog might seem a bit like Kurou then, as Kurou seem to have been like that in Hiraizumi- easily making friends)_

_(7)I__n Shirogane's route, Yasuhira actually would tell the PC that he want to take the Gekirin and attack Kamakura and destroy it so that Hiraizumi would never be threatened again. __However…I feel that this would be impossible even if he has the gekirn as well as Nozomi's aid. I do not think that Yasuhria would make such an unpractical decision. I think he would have considered it, but he would have decided that it was too impractical._

_(8) This is actually a modification to what Yasuhira had said. If the PC (After Shirogane is pushed down the cliff) tells him that he did not need to kill Shirogane, that there might have been another way, Yasuhira would admit that this is so, but then ask her whether she has a way of doing it._

_(9) I do not deny that Nozom is strong as she does go and fight. Yet on the other hand, I feel that she is not that strong because she always has someone beside her to tell her that things are okay if something wrong happened. Hakuryuu and Saku, as well as the hachiyo. _

_(10) In the game, Nozomi does actually slap Yasuhira (she might do it twice depending on the option that you choose). __Therefore, I feel that this is a perfectly possible thing. __After all, Shirogane just got killed and Rurihime…she is not being nasty but she is clearly showing no sign of saying that she was wrong._

_(11)__ What happened is that Yasuhira entered the room and then saw what happened and he immediately grabbed Nozomi to stop her in slapping Rurihime. I have to admit, I really like this bit. Once again, it is one of those subtle 'Yasuhira actually does really care for Rurihime' moments._

_(12) I feel that this is a really good point in regard to Yasuhira's action, and I feel that it is sort of a defence for him. Yasuhira actually discovered that Shirogane is the source of pollution and he did not do anything about it. However, Shirogane then decided to run away with the PC. It was actually Shirogane who did wrong. As a master, Yasuhira would probably not be in the full wrong if he wishes to punish Shirogane. _

_(13) In a previous chapter, Yasuhira actually slaps Rurihime when she became a bit hysterical. However, he actually does not seem to wish to hit her a second time. I thought that this is quite symbolic. In addition, he is even comforting her (in his own way)._

_(14) Yes. Yasuhira was quite nasty when he pointed out that Shirogane is ugly but I feel that I can understand why he would say this. __After all, Shirogane is a seed of pollution that is harming Hiraizumi, and he loves Hiraizumi so much. Therefore, it makes sense that he would regard Shirogane as being ugly. In addition, Shirogane just took Nozomi, which basically meant that he betrayed Yasuhira. Therefore, I can fully understand why Yasuhira would actually be more then a bit mad, and therefore says something quite nasty._


	35. Chapter 34

**Chapter Thirty Four**

_"You will be greeted by me here_

_Since you have the courage to challenge me, who you cannot win against_

_I shall be your opponent."_

_~ (__砂塵の城に立つ__)_

The moment that Yasuhira stepped onto the ouyasha that day, he was certain of today being the last day. At this very top level, only four people were present. After all, his personal servant would now be permanently absent.

Which was naturally noticed by Tamako. Yasuhira realised that he no longer knew what to make of his sister-in-law. Since the moment she arrived he had thought of her as a rather annoying woman who spent the day arguing with his brother, if she was not living in the past.

However, all of this showed him a very different side.

At that moment, he thought of how his wife said that he had forced her to use her head. Perhaps Hōjō Tamako was like that as well. For the first time, she was living in the present.

"Whether I feel sorry for her by being sentimental?" at this Tamako smiled rather cynically. "Of course I do, but I am a woman, so I feel sorry for the one who has lost more. Therefore, who is it that I pity? The one who lost merely one of her many protectors, or the girl who lost one of the few things that she had been lucky enough to keep? After all, you are not someone who would protect her that way." (1)

"…you really are a cruel woman." He said once again.

"I have never been a generous person and I admit it." Tamako muttered. "That person is still alone…and that person might very well die today. Therefore, how do you expect me to not be bitter? Yasuhira-dono, are you not forgetting something? Unlike you lot, I do not have a happy ending to return to."

For a very brief moment, Nozomi and Saku saw the expression that explained many things to them. Hōjō Tamako was a woman who had nothing to live for, yet she was not able to die due to a faint hope that she actually knew to be impossible, yet was unable to give up.

As a result, she has become a very bitter person.

"But today will be the end." She said softly before she took out the scroll once more. "I think I know this off by heart now."

Then they began the whole procedure again. Waiting for the end. Tamako was busily chanting while Yasuhira was observing all that happened around as well as searching for signs that betrayed what would happen.

Nozomi and Saku were bounded because Yasuhira did not feel that they would remain calm enough. Therefore, they could only watch and wait.

The first sign of something happening occurred when the guards below- and the ouyasha was certainly well guarded- began to yell about the arrival of the intruder.

However, they were unable to stop him.

After all, Yoritomo was a good judge.

"…the military commander of the Genji." Yasuhira said simply. "Or should I say, as to be expected of the military commander of the Genji, to be able to make it all the way here."

Kagetoki did not immediately speak, he merely looked around to take note of who was there.

"…and do you think that this makes you safe, Yasuhira-dono?" he finally said.

"Do not insult my intelligence, military commander." Yasuhira said. "Do you know the real nature of Hōjō Masako?"

At this, Kagetoki allowed himself to take a brief glimpse of Tamako, and then he nodded.

"On that day…I saw it with my own eyes. However," his voice then became very cold. "It is not just this. Not all who are blessed by the gods can be unstoppable like Yoritomo-san."

"Yet not all are blessed by the gods." Yasuhira said bitterly. "This Hiraizumi is not protected by the gods. Therefore, I would be the one to protect it."

"Yes, you will do what you must do, and so will I." Kagetoki accepted very calmly. "Yasuhira-dono, I have nothing against Hiraizumi or you, but this must be done. I will do what I have to do, just as you will do what you need to do, just as you have done what is necessary. However…I wish to know one thing. If I die…if it is Kamakura-dono that loses, what would happen?"

"Kurou and his companions are my father's guests. This is merely an emergency." Yasuhira said as he glanced at the two that were tied.

"Then I am satisfied." Kagetoki said. "But Saku, you can think about going back to Kamakura. It would not longer matter much now. However…" his gaze then shifted to Tamako. "You will not change your mind?"

"Change my mind? Kagetoki, you speak as if this is a sudden fancy." Tamako said angrily. "How do you expect me to bear with your death? Do not forget what I have said…I mean it."

"…Yasuhira-dono, will you grant me a few minutes?" Kagetoki asked. "I…I wish to talk to…my wife." (2)

"I am not aniue." However, what exactly Yasuhira meant by that was uncertain because he did not make a move to uncross his arms to indicate that he would stop Kagetoki from doing this.

Like everyone else, Tamako thought that he was going to embrace her, but he actually knelt down in front of her and took her hands and it was her hands that he kissed.

"You now know why I divorced you, Tamako." He said softly. "I wanted you to be safe, yet you seem to place yourself in danger."

"It is not for you to decide." Tamako clenched out.

"That is true, but I cannot bear the thought of you dying." He whispered. "That is why I never once regretted my decision. However…what is it that you are tying to do?"

"…I want to change some thing. Any thing. I don't want things to continue the way they are." She admitted. "Yet I…what I truly wish is to just be able to be beside you again."

"If I ask you now, will your return to me?" However, he stood up and prevented her from answering. "…I am a coward but – "

He whispered something right into her ears and it caused her to become very still before she actually began to cry.

"Even now you will think of this…" she whispered angrily. "But yes, I will do so for you."

The others would never find out, but what Kagetoki said was this: "If I know that you would soon be with me, then I will not be afraid. Tamako, I will wait for you with a smile if you will not tell Saku the truth."

"You really are a cruel person, Kagetoki, to threaten me like this." Tamako said angrily.

"I cannot deny this. This is what I feel to be necessary. It doesn't matter if no one else would agree." At this, Kagetoki then turned to face Yasuhira.

"It is time to end this, Yasuhira-dono. You know as well as I that due to Masako-sama that if you die, then Hiraizumi would lose." Kagetoki said calmly. "Therefore, this will end here."

At this, Yasuhira merely nodded.

"Yasuhira-dono, whoever is in my way will be shot by me." Kagetoki added. "Therefore, do not bother to use my sister or the hakuryuu-no-miko as a hostage."

Once again, Yasuhira nodded.

"Enough is enough."

It is ironic- they were both fighting with a very in depth level and knowledge of Onmyōdō, yet neither of them has finished their studies despite having been acknowledged by their teacher as having a great potential.

However, Kagetoki was clearly at a disadvantage. Unlike Yasuhira, he was receiving great injury.

"The stage is set in the ouyasaha, so I cannot lose." Yasuhira declared out. "Whether it is the gods or the demons, I will not let it advance into Hiraizumi."

Saku was crying while Nozomi was yelling. However, Tamako remained completely immobile.

"Why does it have to end up like this?" she asked softly.

All that the two of them wanted was to get married and have a happy and peaceful life. That was all.

It was a battle much different then the ones they had previously seen. However, even such a battle would have an end.

However, it was be a complete surprise.

A shot was fired again…this time, it had results.

"…military commander, you – " Yasuhira's hand was suddenly pressed over the wound at the side of his chest, and he could feel the warm blood trickling down onto his hand. "Why is this all?"

"It is not because he will not kill you, but because he cannot kill you." a new, but very familiar voice said. (3)

Hōjō Masako has arrived.

"You…when did you arrive?" Yasuhira clenched out.

"When I know that it is safe to come." Masako declared out merrily. "Yasuhira-dono, I know that you have the gekirin and I know that you can be dangerous with it. Therefore, I only come now."

She then walked to Yasuhira and actually placed her hand onto that wound. By this time, he was crouching down due to his pain, no longer able to even stand. They all knew that Masako could easily kill him.

"Kagetoki, well done, I did not think that you would be able to break his spells so quick." Masako was saying. "Yasuhira-dono, you are not dead yet, but if you don't behave then I will make you wish that you are dead."

"And so you are…the foreign being who protects Yoritomo?" Yasuhira said. "After all, you Hōjō stick together, do you not?"

He did not mention her real name as that would make them lose their advantage: the element of surprise.

"You, how is it that you managed to – " Yasuhira began to Kagetoki but he suddenly stopped. This was because he saw the answer

The barrel of that strange weapon which Kagetoki used was smeared with blood and the long wound on the man's wrist showed that he had done this himself. The truth was that blood was a very powerful pollution.

But all spell had a consequence. At this, Yasuhira saw that the other was barely able to support himself despite being the winner.

"You really have done much better then what I thought." At this, Masako moved a few steps away so that she could observe the scene below- where ordinary men were fighting. Her back was turned to them, but this did not really matter much to her. "I made Taira no Shigehira into the source of pollution but you actually discovered this."

Tamako had been standing a bit apart from them. The moment that Masako turned her back to them, Tamako darted to Yasuhira's side. However, this was not due to any concern.

It was for her to receive the gekirin.

Tamako then began to chant as she clutched onto the gekirin. The words were an alien language, but she had memorised them just in case that Yasuhira would not be able to do so.

"How could you know this!" Masako…Dakiniten shrieked out as she lounged forward. However, her hand was suddenly met by a barrier.

"You are Dakiniten, and you lost to another god long ago, which caused you to be exiled here. Surely you recognise those words?" Yasuhira said. The sweat on his face showed that the barrier was very weak, barely lasting.

Which was confirmed by Masako breaking it, and she actually grabbed onto him. The petite woman was very powerful as she hoisted him up and then threw him away as one would to a doll.

"This barrier is very pathetic, Yasuhira-dono. Do you think that you can actually stop me?" Masako chuckled before she turned to Tamako. "My dear sister, surely you know that word's power depends on the speaker? Never mind the fact that you are a mortal, you are powerless."

However, Tamako merely continued to chant. It was true that she could not make the words powerful, but the words themselves were not without power.

Therefore, she repeated it over and over again, and it was having an effect.

"If I die…your sister will die with me." Masako hissed out.

Tamako merely continued chanting and this was her answer: she knew and accepted this.

"We are both loyal to our husband instead of to each other." Masako said this out aloud with a smile. "Yes, this remained true. Although in your case, he is not even your husband."

Yet I still love him, Tamako whispered in her mind as she closed her eyes. She did not need to see anything because the only thing that she could do was to continue chanting these words. It was not as if she could evade Dakiniten's attack should the other began to do so, and the other would probably do so very soon.

Upon closing her eyes, she could hear everything so much clearer. Therefore, she could tell that her words were having an effect: after all, she could hear the brief reactions that showed this.

Just what would happen if this actually works? If Dakiniten was destroyed along with Hōjō Masako? As she herself said so long ago- Yoritomo was a man whom she was certain to be able to achieve his goals. Therefore, it was not as if that much would change.

However, it would be a change.

Something…anything…

"Tamako, are you not getting it all wrong?" Masako continued. "Shouldn't you be sticking by me? I am your sister- I can give you whatever you wish."

At this, her hand stroked the other's face. As Masako's hand had been placed on Yasuhira's wound, Tamako knew that there must now be blood on her own face.

"Can you free Kagetoki?" she whispered, finally ceasing her chanting. "Mitai-sama…no, aneue, will you do this?"

"Is this all you want?" Masako chuckled. "Yet you know that this is something that I cannot grant. Kamakura-dono needs people such as Kagetoki. Besides, it was an agreement."

"Then you must be destroyed for him to have a chance. I am sorry…aneue." Tamako said as she resumed her chanting.

"So am I." Masako said as she raised her hand. This time, it was to strike.

The two sisters had always been close. First of all, they were only apart in age by a single year and their other sisters were all much too younger. Unlike the others, Tamako had never resented or even envied Masako at her for being their father's favourite. Instead, she had loved and admired her sister. Even seeing such special attention was natural.

Masako had been very fond of this sister too. It was true that there had been times when she wished for her sister to be different and be more like herself, but she was still very pleased with the sister that she did have.

Both sisters had truly wished for the other's happiness, yet fate was cruel to them by placing them at such a situation where they were faced against the other.

"I will forgive you so I know that you are the same." Masako added as she brought her hand down.

However…it did not come to contact with her target.

"Ka…Kagetoki?" much to Tamako's surprise, he was standing right beside her, creating the barrier that saved her.

"Kagetoki? You dare to stand before me?" Masako said angrily.

"I am your sister's husband so why shouldn't I stand beside her and protect her?" at this, Kagetoki suddenly laughed. "This does not suit being said by me at all."

"Kagetoki, who is it that injured Fujiwara no Yasuhira?" Masako reminded him as she gestured to the said person. Yasuhira was not mortally injured but his wound was severe enough to prevent him from being able to do anything. In addition, he had received some more injuries due to being thrown by Dakiniten.

"That is one matter, this is another matter." Kagetoki said firmly. "I can't watch Tamako being hurt."

"This is most amusing now." Masako chuckled. "You are the one who has hurt her the most."

"Because I thought that I could protect her that way and I believe that I did." Kagetoki admitted. "But I cannot just watch her being hurt, even if it is you, Masako-sama."

"Do you really think that you can win against me?" at this, Kagetoki could feel his barrier cracking. "Kagetoki, because you have been very loyal, I would give you one last chance."

This time, Kagetoki did not even answer. Instead, he turned to Tamako and told her to continue. He will continue holding on the barrier.

"Kagetoki, do you seek to be a bad son then?"

"I will seek her forgiveness at the world of the dead. Yet I believe that she would forgive me, because she told me that she would like me to be able to do what it is that I truly wish." Kagetoki said without hesitation before he turned to Tamako. "I will start to chant with you."

At this, he found an object being pressed into his hands.

"Yasuhira-dono told me that this can make one's spell more powerful, and this ouyasha…"

"Yes, this ouyasaha is a nasty trick." Dakinitne said very bitterly, although she quickly smiled again. "Yet it is build by a mortal so there is no chance that this would be enough."

One of Kagetoki's hands was tracing the runes that were necessary for this barrier which temporarily granted them some safety. However, he used his other hand to slip the gekirin back into Tamako's hand before he closed that hand with his now freed hand.

"Tamako, we will be together this time." he promised.

* * *

Saku and Nozomi had largely been ignored, which was an advantage. Using the opportunity of Masako turning suddenly and when Kagetoki suddenly moved to stand in front of Tamako, Saku quickly ran to crouch beside Yasuhira.

"Yasuhira-dono, let us help." Saku whispered. "At the very least, I can heal your wounds."

It was clear that Dakiniten would not just stop with the others.

"Yes…there is no point." Yasuhira admitted. Clenching his jaws upon the pain, he pulled out a dagger and severed the rope that bound the other two. "However…there is no point with trying to heal me. You best stop that thing."

"Is that why you want the gekirin?" Nozomi demanded. "But surely you can give it back now."

"I don't have it." Yasuhira said honestly. "But you two are the miko, so perhaps your words alone can be enough. Listen…carefully."

His voice was very soft and this was not just because he was trying to prevent Dakiniten from noticing them.

"I understand and I believe you." Saku said. "I also believe in aniue."

She then took out the gekirin that she had hidden since she received it. It was only here due to her brother as she probably would not have hid it, and that would have been enough for it to be taken away.

"This has little power, but it still belonged to that person." Saku whispered. "Therefore…that person will protect us."

As she began to chant, Nozomi joined in.

For the sake of protecting someone…for the sake of protecting something. Even if it is just one person…even if it is just one thing.

Masako could feel her powers slipping, but she was a goddess. Therefore, she could still strike and hope to gain what she lost. Despite everything, she was still at an advantage because she would not tire like a human.

"I will destroy you two ruyuujin-no-miko and you will feed me very well." she hissed.

Saku did not really fight on the battlefield like her counter part, but this did not mean that she lacked courage. She was actually extremely brave by being able to remain courageous and hopeful despite having lost the black dragon.

Therefore, she faced the divine being without any fear.

The gekirin in her hand suddenly began to glow and the light that shone from it was so bright that Masako could barely face it due to her current weakened body.

"…it cannot be." Saku whispered even before she opened her eyes. The touch of that person…his mere presence.

"My miko, due to your prayer and love I have returned to you." Kokuryuu said as he touched his wife's face lovingly. "Miko, you are still as beautiful as you were…but why is your hair so short now?"

At this, Saku found herself laughing and crying at the same time. It really was him.

"Even though I just want to be with you, I must get rid of that thing first." Kokuryuu said as he turned away and his voice was almost completely different due to being very regal. "Being of another land, leave. This is my land and my people."

"Your people? When you have protected Kamakura-dono?" Masako scoffed out. "Are you blinded, ryuujin?"

"And when have you protected Hiraizumi?" Yasuhira muttered to himself. (4)

"It is true that I have failed to protect my people and my miko, but I will correct my mistakes. My counterpart, let us end this."

The voice that answered ought to be familiar, but it sounded very different.

"The proper form of the ryuujin." Saku whispered at seeing the pure white dragon arriving.

"The dragon that was summoned when Houko-hime and Chitose-hime stood together." Kagetoki said in wonder. "It was said that the ryuujin then solved everything."

"My powers are nothing like the oni-no-ichizuku. They are mere mortals." Masako said proudly. "I will defeat you two."

If she had been in her full power then the result would be uncertain. However, she was already injured due to the chant of the words that had caused her to be defeated. Unlike her, the two ryuujin were at the full length of their power due to them finally being reunited and restored in their original form. (5)

"Our miko, tell us what you two want." the dragon gods said in union.

"Destroy Dakiniten." The two girls said without any hesitation.

Like the other, Tamako had been looking at what was going on. However, she suddenly felt Kagetoki's hand on her face, covering her eyes.

"I do not think that you should see this." he said very softly. "Afterwards, you can yell and curse at me however many times you want, but I will not let you see this." (6)

The loud scream that followed made Tamako admit that he was right.

"But Kagetoki…at least let me say goodbye." She pleaded.

"…if that is what you wish."

The sight that greeted her almost made her vomit- instead of saying that the body of Hōjō Masako was injured with many wounds, it might be more accurate to say that there was some part of the flesh that did not have any wounds.

"Mitai-sama…" Tamako began as she crouched down beside the other and took her hand.

"Dakiniten is gone. I am merely Hōjō Masako again." The other said with a slight smile. "Perhaps this is the god's mercy." (7)

"Perhaps." Tamako admitted. Their time was short so she had to ask her questions fast. "Tell me, Aneue, are you happy?"

"I have no regret in my life." Masako assured her younger sister before her gaze turned to Kagetoki. "I wish for Tamako to be able to say this for the rest of her life."

"I promise, Masako-sama…no, Masako-dono." Kagetoki said. It was not Hōjō Masako, the wife of Minamoto no Yoritomo that he was making the promise to, but Hōjō Masako, the elder sister of Hōjō Tamako who he first saw at his wedding.

"But I think you need help…" At this, Masako pulled out what seemed to be a small amulet. "This is given to me by Kamakura-dono as an acknowledgement of me being his spokesperson. All who see it must obey the bearer as if he is speaking to Kamakura-dono. Therefore, how your return this would be interesting."

The implication was clear: it was a very powerful bargaining tool.

"But why…" Kagetoki began.

"If you don't receive it, then it might be in the hand of Yasuhira-dono and the thought of what he might do is not just a little scary. Therefore, you will have it." (8)

"I do not think that I understand you, but…thank you." Kagetoki said while Tamako whispered: "I will be happy, aneue."

"…even without me, Kamakura-dono would be very great." Masako said before she smiled. "But I had helped him…so I am happy."

Then she closed her eyes.

However, Dakiniten's death…which also involved Hōjō Masako, was only the first wish. One wish was given to the two priestesses by the combined dragon god, and Chitose and Houko had wished for the destruction of the onryuu that threatened to destroy Kyo. Then one wish was given to them each, by their own dragon god.

The black dragon descended right in front of Saku and even though he seemed so different, she knew that he still was her husband.

"I just want you to stay beside me." Saku whispered. "Don't leave me ever again."

"…if that is what you wish, miko." The voice of the god then changed again. "As this is what I wish too."

"Can you grant it?" Saku asked nervously.

"The ryuujin is constantly being reborn and disappearing as it is a cycle. Therefore, we remember, yet forget. However, I will let the memories of you, the part of me that met and love you, be given to you. It is, after all, a memory and a part of me that is very different from the rest of me." (9)

Then Hakuryuu turned to Nozomi and she was like Saku by wishing to stay with the one that she loved.

"We will also grant peace onto this world." The gods said in union. "For we are responsible for the loss of peace."

And the mortals, even Yasuhira, realised and knew that everything would truly be well. However, what the gods could do did depend on the humans.

"Tamako…" Kagetoki began as he stretched out his hand to her. "Will you come with me…will you return to me?"

At this, she laughed even as she began to cry. She grasped that hand very tightly.

"How long have I waited for you to say these words to me, Kagetoki?"

"I will achieve the life that we really want." Kagetoki promised. "But no matter what, I will never let go of your hand again."

Both of their hands were covered in blood but this did not matter at all. If she was there…he was sure that the blood on his hand would be able to be washed off.

"Yasuhira-dono, I will retreat and inform Kamakura-dono of the situation." He said. "I believe that there would be a treaty. I do not think that the Fujiwara no Oushi would be as powerful as they were, but they would still be able to have a certain level of independence."

"Because of the ryuujin?" Yasuhira was able to stand up due to Saku having healed part of his wound, although the injuries were not completely healed. "I do not like to rely on the ryuujin but…if my people could be safe. But what would happen to Kurou?"

"If he remains here without doing anything then I believe that Kamakura-dono would let him be." After all, Kagetoki was sure that Yasuhira was smart enough to realise the truth of why Kurou could actually manage to end up being in Hiraizumi.

"Yasuhira-dono," Tamako said softly. "You are the one who saved Hiraizumi but that is not all. You are the one who caused me to have what I wish again. However…"

"However?" Yasuhira asked calmly.

"Be careful." Tamako said honestly. "I do not understand why, but I have a rather bad feeling that something would happen to you."

After all, she was one of the few who knew what it was that he did to protect this place and people. However, the question was whether this would remain so.

Then the two of them were gone.

"We will return to announce that the battle is over." Yasuhira said to the other two. "I will release the others."

After all, his intention was to protect them, not to imprison, let along harm them.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1)__ By this Tamako means that Rurihime__ was, to a certain extent, still rather sheltered and this is really due to her luck, because Yasuhira would not have protected her the way that the hachiyo would have protected Nozomi. __However, I feel that this is not fully true because having her seen the man being executed by Yasuhira was actually quite a significant moment._

_(2)__ Before, Kagetoki always refer to Tamako as his ex-wife, or someone he was married to, as they are divorced._

_(3)__ What happened was that all this time, Kagetoki was casting spells that might weaken the barrier, and then he was finally able to use his own blood in order to break the barrier. __Therefore, he only just managed to break the barrier. __Saved for the using his blood bit, I think this is actually what happened in the game._

_(4) Even though it seems a bit bizarre that Yasuhira would suddenly speak like this, I do not feel that it is unreasonable. After all, through out the game we see that he is quite bitter about how Hiraizumi is not protected by the gods. After all, if Hiraizumi is then there is no need for him to do this. Therefore, I can see why he might feel a bit angry (or at the least irritated enough) to make this comment. In addition, what Masako said is true as well. In Haruka 2, Akuram also commented that his people had not been protected by the dragon god. So I can understand why they would say this and find Kokuryuu's words a bit presumptuous._

_(5) I personally feel that Dakiniten is really powerful, yet the two ryuujin are said to be able to solve everything once they are restored to its proper form. However, with the exception of Yuzuru's izayooki route, you don't really see this. There was never a sense of: "If the miko can summon the dragon god then everything will be okay" given that the ryuujin are both present with their miko at the start. __However, in Yuzuru's izayoki route, Hakuryuu would say that the power of the gods depend on the human, so this might be why, as people seem to no longer believe in the gods as they did before. In the end, I decided to opt for a more vague solution by saying that the defeat is partly due to dakiniten being weak and injured._

_(6) I was inspired by Harada's route in Hakouki. He will tell Chizuru to close his eyes and he will fight her father and she can yell and curse at him however she wants once it is done. But the main point is that he would do this for her._

_(7) I am fairly certain that in the actual game, Masako would survive, although dakiniten would not survive. __However, I feel that Masako has to die because she would not cease to be a threat to Kurou if she lives. However, by the gods' mercy, Masako means that she doesn't die immediately with Dakiniten, and can therefore have a chance of talking to her sister._

_(8) Masako's reason is that this would help Kagetoki and Tamako, but I think what she said is quite true as well. If Yasuhira has it then he would definitely use it to be the best of his advantage, and he is a very capable and ruthless person._

_(9) First of all, it seems that the ryuujin are not the same. Somehow, from the game I seem to have the impression that Hakuryuu is actually fairly new to the job. In addition, it seems that the ryuujin in Haruka 3 is not the same as the ryuujin in Haruka 2 (otherwise the game screams so much of Mary Sue that it is not funny at all). This is my interpretation from the game, that the ryuujin is actually constantly changing. So I guess to a certain extent it is a cycle of rebirth. In addition, in Saku's route it suggests that kokuryuu is different, the new kokuryuu. Therefore, it seems that even though the god remains the same, they are different, they are two different people although they seem to have some memories of the past._

_Second thing- one of the things that annoys me the most in Haruka 3 is actually Saku's ending. I really feel that it is horribly unfair that Saku cannot end up being with kokuryuu, while the PC can have a perfect ending with Hakuryuu. That is why I had been really reluctant to play Saku's route, because I really hate the ending. I admit, the extra event in the PSP version made it better as it suggests that the new kokuryuu does seem to have some of the past memories so one day he might remember and be with Saku again. However, this is quite vague. Therefore, I had been determined that my story is going to let Saku have a happy ending. I guess what I did is sort of what happened with Hakuryuu's route in the game, but a bit different. It seems a bit weird because it seems that there are two hakuryuu and I have seen some pointing out that they quite feel sorry for the one that has to remain in Kyo. Therefore, I made it that the kokuryuu (mortal) that is with Saku is the one that has all their memoires, while the god is like the ryuujin that we see in the second game._


	36. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty five**

_"And even as the time for me to leave come_

_I can face it with a smile_

_It is so good that I found you"_

_~ (__天狼を抱く夜空となりて__)_

It was spring again and Rurihime felt that this would be the best spring that she ever had. Unlike before, everything was well and she was certain that things would continue to be well.

The war has ended and Hiraizumi was safe. With the aid of the ryuujin was well as Hinoe- who announced his real identity, there was a true peace agreement. Even though many still complained about it, the truth was that this was a very good treaty.

It will last and the war will finally end. Even if there was another war, it would not involve them.

Spring was here and then it would be summer. She would place lotuses in her room again as they had been the reminder of how a miracle could happen. Even though everything was now peaceful, she still planned to do so because the lotus had become very beautiful to her due to what it represented.

She was very happy and it was also because she finally had the proof that her husband loved her.

When he had returned, she immediately ran to him and the state of his wounds then made her even more worried. Even though the others quickly assured her that there was no need for her to worry anymore, she was still unable to remain calm.

Everything…the worry and the fear all poured out. As she embraced him tightly, she began to cry.

"What is it that upsets you now?" Yasuhira asked although he did not push her away, and this was actually a sigh of how he cared for her. However, she had been greedy.

"…you are safe, you are safe." She whispered over and over. "I am so glad! I have been so afraid today…"

She was sure that she would never forget what her husband. To most people, this was probably something that they regarded as more then normal. But for her, it was almost impossible.

She felt his arms being placed on her back and one hand was actually rubbing her back. He was not gentle, because he did not know how to do so, but this mere action was a sign. (1)

"There is no need to cry." He said, and his voice was not hard at all.

Later on, she heard about what had happened in regard to Tamako. She could not deny that she would miss the other woman, but she was very glad that the other was finally reunited with the husband that she loved so much.

Kunihira himself actually admitted that this might be better and he announced that he would finally begin to live his own life. This did involve him divorcing Tamako and making Iwako the proper seishitsu. Which was just as well, as she gave birth to a son.

Saku remained in Hiraizumi but the other said that she was starting to slowly understand her brother. The same went with Kurou and Nozomi.

Kurou decided to remain here as well and it seemed that many of his companions would do so. Hinoe was an exception as he was going back to Kumano although he promised to visit now and then. Masaomi and Atsumori both expressed a desire of going to where the rest of the Heike were but they differed from Hinoe by wishing to stay in Hiraizumi a bit longer.

Speaking of the priestess and the others, Rurihime sighed, as this was enough to affect her mood. She had little dealings with the others as she used to excuse of helping Iwako with her pregnancy. However, this was a lie.

She was too ashamed. In addition to her shame, she did not wish to repent as she knew that she would do the same thing again if she needed to.

The other two was still polite and possibly even friendly to her, but the gap was there. It was not just what she has done, but what Yasuhira has done as well. He was her husband and she had supported him fully: she still did.

It was easier with Saku as Saku was not close to Shirogane, nor had she been there at that moment. Most importantly, Saku was not from a completely different world.

However, this did not matter that much. The main thing was that Hiraizumi was safe. Her husband and child would be the ruler of this place.

She thought of her mother and she decided that she was very lucky: because her husband had survived.

Her parents had arranged this marriage as they wished for her safety back then. If she had the knowledge of Yasuhira that she now has, she would have spoke against the marriage as he was so different from her. What he regarded as a waste of time might be the basic necessity to her.

Yet she has not regret of her marriage. She was in love with this man and was happy being his wife. All that she wanted was to be by his side.

As for him…she knew that he cared for her. She was special to him.

That was enough.

The lotus was not blooming yet but there were a variety of other flowers. They were different from the flowers in her parents' home that had been looked after most carefully in order for them to bloom in abundance, but she felt that these wild flowers had their own beauty.

Kneeling down, she began to gather them.

"…oneechan."

A little girl was nearby with a bunch of flowers and upon seeing Rurihime, she rushed to her side and tugged her sleeves.

"This is such a pretty kimono." She child was clearly very young by not realising that only one person would dress like this, as well as having such a long hair. "Are you a princess?"

Rurihime answered her with a friendly smile. She was like many women who wish to have a daughter that she could dress up. Therefore, she allowed the young girl to wear her outer most kimono and was immediately glad at having done so upon seeing how overjoyed the child was.

"Oneechan, you are such a nice person. In return for letting me wear the pretty kimono, I will give the pretty flowers to you." The little girl said. "I will plait them into your hair for you. Wouldn't they be very pretty?"

* * *

The days were peaceful and that was probably why his mind was actually quite idle. At the very least, that would be Yasuhira's excuse in regard to why he was suddenly thinking of his marriage in such an uncharacteristic manner.

He had been sixteen when he learnt of his marriage and he accepted it without any hesitation as it was a good marriage. It gave them connection and this was even like an acknowledgement of their power.

As for the bride herself…there was nothing really wrong with her. Besides, she was going back to Kyo. Initially, he has been a bit alarmed at seeing his future wife as someone a bit hysterical and demanding, although this seemed to be only at the first day.

Much to his surprise, she was actually the very opposite. Despite the unwelcoming environment, she was not daunted. He had never been friendly to her but she continued to seek his company. In time, he actually slowly adjusted to it. It was mainly because she did not annoy him, and there were times when her questions were actually quite perspective.

The only time that he had been seriously irritated due to her was when she went to stay in the temple after the birth of their son. Not only did this look bad for him, he even had to go and reason wit her.

Perhaps his sister-in-law, rather, the woman who had been his sister-in-law, was right in what she said. Rurihime was someone who was beside him and said the things that he wished to hear. At the very least, she understood him.

Not that he needed to be understood, he quickly added in his head, but it was better to have one less person accusing and condemning him.

She was not the ideal wife, but then he did not have such a thing. However, he felt that she was a suitable wife. It would be useful if she was very capable, but that was not the main thing. What he really wished was one who would accept him. The truth is that someone who did not would not be able to stay beside him.

They would either go away themselves, or he would end up driving them away. He was not patient enough to hear conversions. (2)

One the very first night they spent together, she had asked him about love. He had laughed at her, but this was actually something important, because it seemed that his wife must love him in order to be of assistance to him.

A capable but reasonable woman might easily decide against helping him. Rurihime, however, was of more use to him as she loved him enough to do all these things.

He doubts that his actions could easily be accepted by those who loved Hiraizumi. It could only be accepted by one who loved him. It has been like that and it would probably continue being like that.

It was useful for him to have a wife that loved him, but not all those who loved their husband would be useful to him. If it has been someone then the result would probably be quite different.

Perhaps it was better to say that Rurihime loved him the way that was most convenient to him.

He thought that way as that was how he had thought all of his life. After all, it was not possible for him to think in a different way when he did not understand it.

His son would be a very interesting child…

Then he saw her…his wife.

She was waving to a little girl and it was obviously someone not smart enough to recognise her identity. After all, the people here would not dare to behave in such an intimate fashion with his wife. She usually would not regard this as proper so what she was doing now was a bit surprising.

However, this event was ending so it did not matter. There was no need for him to go and stop it.

When the little girl left, his wife turned around as that was where the road was. At this, he saw that her hair was actually decorated with a variety of flowers. In addition, she was holding some flowers in her hand.

"Yasuhira-dono, are you patrolling the area?" She asked and she suddenly smiled. "Aren't these flowers pretty?"

She was said to be beautiful and as a result, many called her a doll in scorn. After all, in addition to her appearance, she was always dressed in extremely fine and elaborate clothing. As a result, there was a rather surreal quality to her appearance.

But then, she was born from a woman whose beauty lead her to her death as a man saw it as a toy that he wanted to play with, as well as the descendent from a woman who used her beauty to rise to an extremely high position.

To Yasuhira, one's appearance had always been something that he regarded as trivial. It did not matter as it was not important in anyway.

However, if he was forced to make a judgement then he would say that it was not bad.

Not bad…this reluctant admission was actually his highest compliment.

"Are you a peasant girl?" these were the words that always come out. "But the wild flowers…Shirogane once said something about it."

"What did he say, Yasuhira-dono?"

"Why would I remember something so foolish?" he retorted.

Yet he did remember.

"To me…miko-sama is more like the wild flower then the warrior like figure in the stories." Shirogane had said.

No, that was not true. The other had been looked after too well. She was a flower that was carefully cultivated.

His wife, however, was different. A cultivated flower that survived in the wilderness. Perhaps it was time for him to actually look after it.

Although this just refer to the very basic care.

"…I am going to go and visit some temples as I need to talk to some of the monks about what has happened." Yasuhira began when it was clear that one of them needed to say something, or he would need to ride away. "Even though it is not necessary for you to be there, it might not be bad if you are there."

Was this an invitation? Rurihime was not certain. However, it was an opportunity she was grateful for.

"If Yasuhira would allow me." She said as she stretched her hand to her husband, who had talked to her without getting down from his horse.

"What are you doing?" Yasuhira asked dryly, referring to her hand, which he looked at, but did not take.

"That was what Yasuhira-dono did before."

That was true, but he ignored the issue as he did not want to create questions that he did not want to think about.

He actually dismounted. (3)

"…Yasuhira-dono?" Rurihime was so shocked that she almost dropped the flowers in her hands. "What are you doing?"

"Are your eyes mere decorations?" he muttered. "What does it look like I am doing?"

He was just going to take her hand when he suddenly felt him being pushed down.

"What are you…" he began angrily, but suddenly stopped.

He has been forced into lying on the ground while she was on top of him, her arms preventing her from crashing onto him. Her long hair was spread around, covering the grass.

However, there was a third colour beside the green grass and her long black hair.

A red that he truly thought that he would not see again.

"Forgive me, Rurihime-sama. I did not mean to strike you."

She was bleeding…the blood came from her chest…her heart.

Sitting up, he tore his cloak off and placed it into her hands before he pressed her hand and his cloak against the wound. Once that was done- which only took a few seconds, he pulled out his sword to confront the enemy.

"You!"

It was not a stranger- it was the very opposite. The man whose bloody katana just ran through his wife was one of his father's most trusted servants. He had been a face that Yasuhira was familiar with since a child.

"Do you know what you are doing?" Yasuhira began, his sword barely preventing the other katana from stabbing him.

"I am delivering the punishment that you will not escape from, although it is much better then what you deserve." The man sneered out. "You are worse then the lowest of all animals, Fujiwara no Yasuhira, as you would kill your own father."

"How did you find that out?" Yasuhira demanded. "How many others know?"

He was not asking these questions because he wished to know, but because this was a way to buy him time. Having bit his finger, he was using the blood to write the remaining runes down.

If it was just he himself, then he would be acceptant of this. After all, it was a deep sin and all sins would be punished. The punishment of death, as the other said, was much better then what he deserved.

Yet he was not alone. He did not understand why, but he knew that he could not let his wife die. Therefore, he would do whatever he had to do in order to end this.

The figure that he had one arm around was very calm as she had not moved at all. However, this was not really a good thing. He had always been a practical man, but he truly felt as if she was slipping away.

"Punishment would come, but you would not be the executioner." He said as he drew the last symbol. Perhaps this man deserves that much. (4)

* * *

What had happened had been so fast that Rurihime herself was not certain of what exactly had took place. She was just thinking about how lucky she was to be able to ride beside Yasuhira when she suddenly saw that man.

Like Yasuhira, she knew who he was. However, her instinct informed her that she was not able to trust a woman whom she had known to be trustworthy before. Therefore, she acted before she even comprehended herself.

She pushed Yasuhira down and at the last moment just before she fell, she knew that she was right as the other was drawing out his katana.

The next thing she felt was the blade piercing right into her.

At the very first moment, she felt a deep pain that reminded her of childbirth. However, the pain did not last very long.

The flowers she held were spread around her, mingling with the ones in her hair, or was it the other way around?

There were not the lotus, but they were still beautiful.

Her husband was making her press his cloak against the wound. This finally made her notice how serious the injury must be. The cloak was black, but she could easily see her own blood.

However, it was not painful and her husband was even holding her, her body pressed right against his. Although this might merely be his way of making sure that she was pressing the cloak over the wound, she was not uncomfortable.

He was chanting now, and this was followed by a loud yell. Something must have happened, but she did not wish to know. She did not care.

"Make sure that you press that cloak against your wound." Yasuhira interrupted her as he pressed her hand to emphasise it. "I am going to lift you up."

"Yasuhira-dono's horse is gone." She whispered. This being the first thing she noticed. "Yasuhira-dono, your clothes…"

The front of his cloth was covered in blood.

"Don't talk, save your strength." He ordered. "I will take you to Benkei-dono, who would treat your wounds."

Was it possible? It did not matter, he would concentrate on getting there. His horse had run off due to fright at what had happened, so he would carry her back.

Despite his instruction of not talking, she continued.

"It feels strange like this." She whispered.

"Why did you do this?" he said softly- finding talking loudly too difficult.

"Does Yasuhira-dono still not know? I love you, I want to do something for you." At this, she smiled. "I finally did something for you."

"I do not need you to." Even now, he could not say the truth.

I do not want you to.

"I know that," she said with her smile being slightly sad. "Yasuhira-dono does not need me to do anything for you, yet I wish to do something for you. If I could help you to do something…anything, then I would be happy. Yet apart from this one act, I have never done anything that you are not able to do yourself."

He was not walking as fast as he could, but why did it seem as if he was making no progress at all?

"I am so glad that I came here." Rurihime whispered, and her voice was barely audible. I am really glad that I am Yasuhira-dono's wife."

"There is something that you can actually do for me." He suddenly said, finding each step much harder. After all, each step signified time passing. "Stay alive."

It was foolish for him to say this as he knew the truth. Yet perhaps…perhaps it could happen. After all, did not she do what may be regarded as impossible?

She suddenly reached out to touch his face, and despite how cold her hand should be, the touch was rather warm.

"I was foolish by wanting Yasuhira-dono to cry for me." She whispered. "Yet that single tear is more precious then anything."

A single tear had fall and it landed onto her outstretched hand.

"I…am…crying?" he whispered in disbelieve.

It was only a single tear, yet it was a single tear shed by him.

"I love you…Yasuhira-dono." As she said this, she closed her eyes.

"Rurihime…Rurihime!" all of a sudden, he was able to yell again and he was even shaking the body in his arms.

However, she continued to smile with her eyes closed.

"…I am sorry, Rurihime." He whispered. He, who almost never apologised to anyone, actually said this to someone who would never hear it.

Yet he had to say this.

She was dead because of him, she received the wound that ought to have ended his life.

All of a sudden, the body in his arms was too heavy for him to carry. Therefore, he actually knelt down with her in his arms. He held her against him even though the body was now cold and still.

What he lost…he could never regain. (5)

Rurihime died…he would never see her again.

Only a single tear was shed, but when has he ever cried? Even though he did not shed any more tears, there was a deep pain and numbness that prevented him from doing anything. (6)

Hiraizumi was safe, but she would not be there. This matter which he had never given any thought of was suddenly very important.

He knew himself well enough to be able to say that he would be able to continue everything normally, ye the also knew that he would never be able to forget her.

Yet he would never see her again, he was sure that she would be going to the sacred lands.

He was the last type of men who would think about what ifs, yet he kept on thinking of this: what if he would see her again? What would he actually tell her?

He did not know how long he remained there, but it must have been much longer then what he thought as the sun was beginning to set and the wind was becoming more chilling.

His cloak was still in her hands as she had obeyed his orders very faithfully. With one hand, he shook the cloak out and let it wrap around her body like a shroud.

He must get her back and the maids would cleanse her body for burial. She was always a bit vain so he would grant her indulgence.

His wife truly seemed like a doll now as she would never move again, nor would the smile disappear.

* * *

**_Notes:_**

_(1) Yes, this is basically the most romantic action that is done by Yasuhira. All he did is holding her back and then rubbing her back. But then, given the type of person that Yasuhira is…initially, Yasuhira would actually be rubbing her back gently, but I then realised that this is too out of character, even at this stage._

_(2)__ This really relates__ to a review that I have seen in regard to YasuhiraxNozomi pairing. That person said that this pairing is not really suitable because Nozomi would never be able to accept what Yasuhria does. __In addition, she feels__ that the type of women that Yasuhira need is one that is able to accept this as well as one that is very capable. __By this, she actually means political capable. However, I do not really agree with this, because I feel that Yasuhira would not be the type of man who would wish to rely on his wife. __Therefore, I feel that he would never actually have an ideal wife. __In addition, I __feel that when one loves__ someone, they would simply be in love. __Therefore, Yasuhira could just end up being in love with someone like Rurihime. I feel that Yasuhira would actually never change, so the person with him has to accept this._

_(3)__O__ne of my 'Yasuhira actually does care for Rurihime' moment__s__. After all, the fact that he actually bothers to notice her appearance and actually thinks that she looks nice.__ Then, the reason that he dismount is because __unlike before, he did not just want to hoist her up, but he wanted to put her on the horse properly_

_(4)__ I thought that I would get Yasuhira to kill his enemy this way, partly because I don't think his swordsmanship is that good. __However, it seems that his onmyodo skill is quite__ good. In the game, there is a scene when the PC was going to charge at him and while the others were worrying about her doing so, Yasuhira was really calm. It turned out that the PC is unable to move and he will say didn't Shirogane tell her that he learnt onmyodo when he was younger?__ I also feel that in the actual game, Yasuhira himself accepted his death as he felt that this was the punishment that he deserves. But in this story, he didn't as he wanted to save Rurihime._

_(5)__ This is not just referring to Rurihime's death, but the fact that he lost someone who actually loved him and even accepted his actions. It is the idea that he would never be able to find such a person again._

_(6)__ Even though I feel that it is possible for Yasuhira to love someone and cry for them, the idea of him weeping (even in a dignified way) still seems a bit too much. Therefore, I feel that he would be the type to only shed a few tears. However, I believe that him not crying is not an indication of him not caring for her at all. I feel that he could still be able to feel a pain. In fact, he react his grief by suddenly stopping doing anything._


	37. epilogue

**Epilogue**

_"In a far and distant time_

_We now part once again_

_When we have crossed even destiny_

_We will be able to meet again."_

_~ (運命の月は紅)_

The ouyasha continued to exist despite the end of the war as it remained a useful building. Many times, Yasuhira would observe everything from there. It was also useful by being a good place for him to think.

It remained a private place that most did not go to.

It was summer and the lotuses in many temples were blooming. When he was shown of how well the bloom was, he ended up being given one, which he carelessly tucked into his cloak.

The white lotus always made him think of his wife, his first wife. Who was it that gave the flower to her?

It was strange that he was still not able to forget her when he had everything else that he wanted… (1)

"Yasuhira-sama, Kurou-dono and the hakuryuu-no-miko-dono wishes to see you." A servant announced.

The first name was not surprising but the second one… Nozomi had kept a certain distance from him since that day and he was sure that she was still hostile to him despite the amount of time that has passed. After all, she has seen what happened with Shirogane and that seemed enough.

"Yasuhira-san, surely you still remember this?"

How could he ever forget about the gekirin? To suspect that of him was almost amusing. Now that hakuryuu was in its full power, the gekirin was very bright.

"It has not been like this." Nozomi said, guessing what he was thinking. "It remained shining, but it did not glow until quite recently. Strangely, it began to glow when Yasuhira-san is nearby. Therefore, I can only presume that it wishes to be given to Yasuhira-san."

"To me?" at this, he chuckled bitterly. "You will give this to me despite how violent you had protested against this."

"This is different." Nozomi said simply.

"What could it do?" Yasuhira said rather bitterly, although he did close his hand over it.

"I do not know. However, I wish for it to be returned." Nozomi added before she and Kurou left.

"Ryuujin…what is it that you two plan to do?" Yasuhira asked out aloud as he stared at the object in his hand. "You two have never really favoured Hiraizumi before, so that is why I had to do all that I did."

In order to protect this land, he had to try to kill his own father as that was the only thing he could do to make sure that he was in the position of leadership. This was a deep sin and his first wife also died due to this.

Perhaps he was wrong by the method despite being in the right of wishing to protect what was important to him. However…what has his first wife done wrong? (2)

The same could be said of Kurou. The other was a hachiyo, but this did not help him in anyway at all. After all, it seemed that the only one that the ryuujin truly protected was the priestess.

"And what is it that you two would do for me?" he asked.

Nothing was probably the most accurate answer.

He would return the gekirin to the miko or Kurou when he met them the next day. He was certainly not going to go through the trouble of finding them.

His first wife had spoke of miracles but then, she was that type of person who would indulge in such fantasies. A little girl who was willing to believe in such a thing despite having seen reality. (3)

* * *

He had trouble sleeping that night- he was simply unable to sleep. Now that his wife, he second wife, was no longer able to give birth to any more children, he would rarely visit her at night time. The only time he would visit her at this time was no longer because he wished to sleep with her, but if there was something to be discussed in extreme privacy. He was sure that she thought in a very similar way.

Some actually suggested that he should get a sokushitsu that would be able to give him more children although his second wife did give him many children. This was not illogical, but he has not done this yet, as he was not sure whether this would be good. This might cause more friction between his sons, which he now have three. Right now, the two younger boys idolise their elder brother. Even though Yoshihira had a different mother, he was like full brother to them as their mother was like a real mother to him. However, what would happen if there was a third party involved?

Nor did he believe that he needed one.

Therefore, it was more useful for him to be sleeping alone. It was strange but there had been times when he would be extremely foolish by thinking of the impossible. There had been a time when he actually thought that Rurihime was sleeping beside him, as he would suddenly think that he was living in the past.

Sitting up, Yasuhira noticed that there was something glowing amidst his discarded clothes. Reaching out, he saw that it was the gekirin- tangled with his cloak.

The thing seemed to be vibrating and without thinking, he placed his hand around it.

It was dark, but he could still see the objects around him. In addition, there were sounds from outside. However, everything suddenly disappeared. Not only was he in a sudden void, there was complete silence.

A bright light then come and it did not quite disappear because he could see a wild plain of snow.

He had been in a night at summer, but now he was clearly in a morning in a winter.

No matter what, he knew that he ought to find out where he was. Upon taking a close look at the scenery, he realised that he was in the backyard of some temple, although he was not sure of which temple it was.

"Who are you?" he had not heard this voice for two decades yet he could actually recognise it. At this stage, he was sure that he must be dreaming. This was not like him, but then he was not fully normal when she was involved.

"Rurihime." He began as he turned around.

It was his wife…his first wife. This was a strange dream as it was a dream that he has an awareness of.

"Who are you?" his first wife repeated with a frown. "How dare you address me in such a fashion!" (4)

"Do you not recognise me?" he asked. He was now in his forties, but he did not feel that he has changed that much in regard to his appearance.

"If I know who you are, then would I be asking you?" She said dryly and she then chuckled. "I sounded like Yasuhira-dono just then…"

"Rurihime, I am Yasuhira." He began, but was interrupted.

"If you don't tell me the truth then I will start to scream." She said firmly. "You seem to know who I am, so you should know that you could be severely punished."

It was a dream, it had to be a dream, but he still ended up deciding to be rational about this by not preferring to have a huge scene.

"I am Fujiwara no Yasuhira, your husband, and I can proof it." He said confidently.

"Really?" it was clear that she was suspicious of him, but then, she could be like that.

"How old are you now?" he asked.

"Seventeen."

She was seventeen and to be at the temple at such a time…

"Is it not time for you to stop making a scene just because you feel that I am not paying you enough attention?" he began. Even though this event took place such a long time ago for him, he still regarded her action as very childish.

"…you do sound like him. Only Yasuhira-dono would really talk to me this way. However, there are others who know why I am here."

Something that no one else knew…

"On the first night of our marriage, as well as the next few nights, you would try to talk to me even though I would usually be reading." He recollected. "You also told me that you were waking up."

At this, she was gasping. Even though she knew that many suspected that Yasuhira did not sleep with his twelve years old bride, no one would have thought that he would be reading. Although, one has to admit that it was very in character.

"Yasuhira-dono…it really is you." She whispered. "But how…"

"This is a dream. It must be." He explained.

"It is not a dream, Yasuhira-dono." She said firmly.

Did it really matter? After all, he wished to see her again and he managed to have his wish. Perhaps it was better to treat it was if it was real.

A miracle?" Rurihime would think so.

"I miss you and I want to see you again." He admitted in an unusually honest fashion.

"Am I no longer there?" she whispered.

"You…died. However, you were not unhappy." He said truthfully. He just didn't elaborate when.

"I can understand. If Yasuhira-dono cares about me enough to miss me, then my future self must be really happy as she is really lucky." She said with a smile. "But Yasuhira-dono, you will know why I am here."

"Rurihime, I am not the type of man to say what I feel because I do not really understand it. However…" at this, his voice was rather soft. "I do miss you and I cared…I care for you. Therefore, please return."

"But the you at this time do not care."

"I do." He corrected her. "I have not realised it yet."

She looked at him for a long time before she nodded.

"If it is Yasuhira-dono's wish." She declared out. "I merely wish to do something for Yasuhira-dono."

Yet it would be this that caused her death.

"Rurihime…" he did not know what he would say, but he was sure that he wanted to say something.

However, the time for a miracle was running out.

She was growing distant, as if she was being pulled away. It looked like that to him, although he was sure that it was probably the opposite.

"I wished to see you again…that is the only wish that I can wish for." He said, knowing that she heard.

In his cloak, which he had hastily put on due to the weather, was the white lotus that he had not bothered to take out. It fell out and his wife picked it up and held it against her chest.

When she returned, she had a flower that ought not to be blooming and she often said that it was the sign of a miracle.

She was right while he had been wrong. It was not a dream, but a miracle.

Now that he thought about it, not only had her return been very strange, she also seemed a bit different.

So this was why…he had been the one who give that white lotus to her, as well as being the one who caused her to come back.

He was not someone who gives thanks easily, but he still did so the next day upon returning the gekrin. Although, a rather unimpressed Nozomi pointed out, it was certainly very reluctant.

* * *

A meeting in the family was now very different. First of all, Kurou was allowed to be there as Hidehira declared out that Kurou was like a son. This then meant that Kurou's wife and trusted advisor- which was Benkei- could be there. Both Yasuhira and his brother now have a different seishitsu and their sons were there. (5)

Yoshihira was a good son. The boy was capable and intelligent. It seemed that upbringing was so much more important as many had commented that Yoshihira seemed much more like his stepmother then the real mother who died when he was only one year old. However, this had to be said in secret. (6)

However, Yasuhira thought that the boy actually looked a bit like his mother. Or was it because he was actually being foolish?

Like many others in his position, Yoshihira married at quite young an age, but unlike his father, he was a very different husband. Much to the joy of everyone, a son was finally borne after another daughter. (7)

As he looked at his grandson, Yasuhira thought of what his father had said upon seeing Yoshihira. When you see your grandson, it meant that you have succeeded in creating a place. He could actually still remember that day, although he would not admit it.

Now that his heir has an heir…he could actually be at more ease. At this he smiled cynically. Why was he like that when it was something that no one could determine?

"But Yoshihira-dono," his second wife began. "Surely you need to tell this news to your haha."

"Of course, I will go to her temple now." His son said. "Chichiue, will you come with me?"

A negative was given, but this did not surprise Yoshihira at all.

"Yasuhira-dono," he second wife began as soon as they were alone.

"There is no point for me to be there." He said impatiently.

"This is not what I wish to talk to you about." She quickly said. "Yasuhira-dono, I am a bit alarmed at the state of your health. You have been unwell since autumn."

Since she said it, he decided that it must appear quite bad. If it had been Rurihime then he would just have dismissed it as an exaggeration.

He and his second wife had a very good relationship as she was a bit similar to him. This was done for the sake of the alliance. However, she differed from him due to the great care that she had for their children and even her stepson. Initially, Yasuhira had been a bit sceptical about her as Iwako had arrived like that, and he could still remember the scenes that she had created. (8)

"I will ask Benkei-dono to examine you." She said and this should be all that she would say, since this was all that she needed to say.

"Why are you still here?" Yasuhira said when it was clear that she was not moving.

"I am thinking of a question." She said steadily. "Since I stayed here, I might as well ask it. Yasuhira-dono, was it you or Rurihime-dono that liked the white lotuses?"

"What foolishness is this?" he said in irritation.

"I have always been curious about it. You do not seem to be a man who would give your wife a flower so it must have been something that she already treasure. However, nor would you be the type to treasure a flower just because Rurihime-dono was fond of it." She reasoned.

He did not answer, perhaps it was a question that could not be answered. After all, which way around was it?

Winter has arrived and the whole land was covered in snow. It seemed that everything was concealed. However, he could still recollect the winter when that white plain were splashed with bright red blood. After all, he was doing all that he could to prevent it from happening again.

Yet spring was not always full of promises. Rurihime had died on that day. The blooming flowers were covered by her blood.

He must be getting old, he thought cynically, to spend his days by thinking of such a thing.

As he stared at the scenery, he couldn't help but to wonder whether the sacred lands would look like this.

* * *

Yasuhira's illness was not a sudden one, but the worsening was. He simply woke up one day and became very sick. All of a sudden, he changed from being unwell to being severely ill.

But then, his father's death had been very sudden. (9)

It was hard for his people to talk about what they felt. There were always a certain distance when he was involved, unlike his father and son. Yet at the same time, they knew that he was a good ruler. After all, they could still remember the war with Kamakura two decades ago. It had been he who won the war for them.

Benkei has gave him the necessary medicines, but Yasuhira's condition were not improving at all.

The man himself was surprisingly calm despite the fact that he was the one that was sick. He would still making many arrangements by sitting upright with many scrolls balanced on his lap. At one stage, someone cynically commented that he would probably be arranging his own funeral.

"…chichiue, you sent for me?" Yoshihira said formally as he entered. "What is it that you wish?"

"You will be the leader of Hiraizumi when I am gone. Remember that." Yasuhira said. "As the leader, you must protect this place no matter what."

This was really all he needed to say as the ruler. However, he actually wished to speak from the position of a father, as well as a husband.

"Yoshihira…look after your haha's grave and temple." He said.

"Chichiue, do you wish to be buried there?" Yoshihira asked again.

A silence appeared although Yasuhira then said very softly, barely audible to even himself: "That might not be bad."

Yoshihira would remember that phrase for many reasons: one of it being that this was the last thing that his father said. It was the last thing that his father said to him, and it was most likely the last words that his father said to anyone.

When his son left, Yasuhira closed his eyes. He had worked so hard for everything and it seemed that he could finally rest now. He could not do any more. It was a time of peace so his son would probably not face any great difficulty.

If there was trouble…his brother and Kurou would be able to help him.

It was winter and spring was far away. However, he thought that he could hear the birds chirping loudly and even a bit noisily, and he could even smell the wild flowers. It was an incense that was remarkably similar to some incense that his first wife had liked to lit.

A pleasant smell due to it not being suffocating even though it would linger for a very long time.

When she died…she had been smiling.

…it was time to truly rest.

* * *

A grand funeral was held as Yasuhira was the leader of Oushu. Therefore, many people came while others send some sort of representative. The funeral was grand, but the place he would be buried surprised many.

It was the temple that he had built for his first wife.

"I believe that this is where chichiue would wish to rest." Yoshihira had declared out firmly when some questioned the suitability of this small temple.

"I am not sure of your father but your mother would have been very happy…overjoyed." A woman said softly.

"Tamako-dono?" he examined out in surprise. "Are you and Kagetoki-dono both here?"

"Officially, it is for Kunihira-dono's sake." Tamako said softly. "But for me…it is for that little girl's sake too."

Yoshihira naturally did not remember Tamako any more then his birth mother, but Iwako did tell him that Rurihime had been much closer to his uncle's first wife.

"Tamako-dono, what did my father felt for my birthmother?" he whispered. "I don't understand at all."

"Your father is an oddity." Tamako said bluntly. "However…he did care for your mother. After all, he built this temple for her and he would go to her grave."

"But in secret." Was the bitter reply.

"Perhaps that is an answer itself. For me, this is a sign of her being very special to him."

With that, she walked back to her husband and the man that was her dear friend again. Despite the circumstances, there was a slight gap between them and the rest. It would seem that people were finding old grudges a bit hard to forget and this was a good time for old wounds to reopen.

However, the two of them bore all this as they could tell that their friend needed them.

"…Yasuhira was a good leader but was he ever happy?" Kunihira said softly. "As I think of that, I cannot help but to pity him."

"I think he was happy. He had what he wanted." Tamako pointed out logically. "Hiraizumi is safe and prosperous."

"But at such a price, including Rurihime-dono's death." Kunihira said with a shake of his head. "Yet he would say he rather her die then Hiraizumi being safe, even though he did care for her. I think that is the tragic part."

Initially, he had almost loath his own brother due to what he did in order to win but as time passed, he realised that what he felt became a different emotion: pity.

"I cannot help but to think: so what? Yasuhira is dead now and who is truly grieving for him?" Kunihira continued. "The one person that would have done so is dead due to him. It is a truly haunting thing."

"Kunihira, don't be like this. I think Yasuhira-dono was happy at having protected his people. Any leader would." Kagetoki added firmly. "You are nothing like him."

"That is so." Tamako agreed. "If something happens to you then I would be very upset. So would Iwako-dono."

At this, Kunihira finally smiled. Yes, that was true. He and his brother were completely different.

He was truly glad of his two friend's companionship and he was very glad that they had that special friendship back. However, Tamako was no longer an object that drove him to despair and crazed actions. He loved his wife although it was not that obsessive love he had with Tamako. However, he was much more happier.

The same could be said of Yuzuru- who actually married someone else and was much happier by having his love returned. (10)

"But I think Yasuhira-dono would be happy resting here." Tamako said. "Because Rurihime-dono understood and accepted him. She loved him and she would be happy at being with him again."

Before Tamako returned to the main house with her husband and their dear friend, Tamako took one last look at the grave in the small temple, where the husband now rested beside the wife.

Perhaps in the future, the names engraved onto the stone would be gone. However, nothing would change the fact that the two of them were resting together and would always do so.

* * *

_**Note**_

_(1) Which is another indication of him caring for her. To Yasuhira, the most important thing was to protect Hiraizumi (and Kurou, as I feel that these two things are interrelated). Therefore, the logic was that as long as he had these things, then everything should be alright. The important thing to note is that Yasuhira is not saying that he would exchange everything he has for her. It is the suggestion that he is not fully happy because he still thinks of her even though she should not matter because what he wanted was the protection and safety of Hiraizumi._

_(2) A sign that he cares for her. He does not feel that her death was just. The fact that he feels that her death was unfair is an indication of his concern for her because otherwise, he would probably just think: 'tough, life is unfair'._

_(3) For everyone else, Yasuhira would probably have used the word idiot in his description. Of course, he still regard this as foolish, but he is actually not calling her a fool_

_(4) For Rurihime, this man (whom she does not know) suddenly turning up and just calling her by the name, is really rude! After all, she is the wife of the future leader (and a princess) so she was used to people addressing as 'sama' and at the very least, there should be a 'dono'. To be honest, I am really surprised at how the PC (and even Yuzuru as well), just went around calling everyone else '-san'- including Yoritomo and Masako and got away with it!_

_(5) I feel that even though Hidehira did like Benkei, it was really Kurou who was like another son to Hidehira, not Benkei. Benkei was probably just someone that Kunihira was fond of._

_(6) The fact that it had to be said in secret was because Yasuhira did not like such a thing being said, and this is because he did love Rurihime._

_(7) In the previous paragraph, Yasuhira was commenting that his son seemed to bear some resemblance to Rurihime. However, his does not say this in regard to his granddaughter ( ones from Yoshihira). This is because they are still quite young. However, it is more likely that his granddaughters would resemble Rurihime. In addition, most people say that Yoshihira is like his stepmother more. However, because he is Rurihime's son as well as his, Yasuhira feels that Yoshihira has some resemblance to Rurihime. Yet this does not extend to the granddaughters yet. I guess this just kind of show that Yasuhira is still Yasuhira._

_(8) Initially, Iwako was not meant to end up being in love with Kunihira- at least not until much later, probably not until Tamako was gone. However, the story then ended up changing quite a bit. The reason that Yasuhira has to be a bit sceptical about his second wife is to take note of this change. Because initially, he would not need to worry about it, as Iwako was actually meant to be quite a good example._

_(9) I think the real Hidehira died of a stroke and it did seem to have been quite sudden. From the drama, he was quite well as he was drinking and eating with them, and then he just had a stroke and died._

_(10) One of my earliest ideas was that no matter what, Yuzuru is going to move on and he is going to have a very happy life with someone else. There is no way that I am going to let him play the role of the devoted admirer who gave up gracefully but remain unmarried._

* * *

_**Author's Final Note: **To be honest, I really wanted to call it something flower or lauli lapis, but it was a bit hard as we have four people and two different storylines. That is why this story is really hard to write at times, especially with the epilogue. I want to involve all the characters._

_I wanted to write about Kagetoki and Tamako, yet I wanted to do a Yasuhira and Rurihime story too. Therefore, I decided to do both. However, this is really hard as these two are not really connected. So there were times when I feel a sense of am I writing two different stories? This is especially the case in the beginning, when Tamako was not in Hiraizumi. I guess Tamako sort of became a link for the storylines._

_The other really hard thing is that it is hard to write with Yasuhira. Whenever he does the lightest thing, it seems that this is a risk of him being out of character. Having said that, I do believe that he does care for Rurihime although he is just never going to admit that out aloud._

_However, I am satisfied with the result, I really enjoy exploring both Kagetoki and Yasuhira's character and I guess due to the setting of the OC, I ended up being quite anti-Nozomi since the hostility from the OC (really Tamako, as all Rurihime was a frustration at not understanding why Nozomi would not help Yasuhira) is actually quite reasonable. But I think my own stand is an interest in Yasuhira with a deep sympathy for Kagetoki. In addition, this story does show that I am very pro-Genji as well, as I suggest (quite often) that Yoritomo is not a bad man and he is probably better then the Heike._

_I must admit, I was heavily inspired by the 2005 NHK drama. The whole thing with the Heike and as I have said before, I really feel that by omitting Taira no Munemori, the story has become very pro Heike. Although I did not really mention him other then the incident with the horse._

_Another thing with this story is that I really focused on this side of Kagetoki. I would not call it his cruel side, instead, I think I can say the potential he has in being a bit cruel and ruthless. Hence, this whole thing about how he killed Tamako's brother. But a very important thing is that I used the Izayoki version- where Kagetokis' reason for working for Yoritomo was not just due to his family being threatened, but the fact that he did feel that Yoritomo would be able to become a great ruler._

_I actually had NozomixKurou which is a bit rare given that I tend to do YuzuruxNozomi. But one of the themes in this story is actually the idea of moving on and I want Yuzuru to move on, I think he deserves this._

_Shirogane is probably in love with Nozomi and what happened to him is actually really hard to write. I still decided that he probably did end up betraying Yasuhira, and causing him to die. However, I was really surprised at how I talked about Tomomori's death. It was in so much more detail and it was a scene that I quite like. It is quite ironic given that I do not really like Tomomori, yet does like Shirogane (to a certain extent)_

_Finally, one of the really hard bit for me to write is the end. In the end, I didn't want to kill Rurihime, yet this was my decision all along. This was her fate from the beginning. I think it is the fact that once you started to write, then you do kind of feel for the character and hence you just wish to let them be happy. This is rather hypocritical. However, I do not deny that her death is due to the fact that I decided to let her die._


End file.
